True North [True North series book 1/3]

I didn’t know where I was going — not exactly. I had nowhere left to go. My home was no longer my home — my people no longer my people. I didn’t belong in this world anymore. But did I belong in Ardanis? Even if I would figure out a way to return — was that where I was meant to be?

‘You don’t belong here.’ I had been told so again and again. By Thoridor, by Myrtha, and by myself, mainly. I wished I had some sort of compass, something to point me in the right direction. Something to tell me what to do next — where to go.

I turned around when I made it to the edge of the forest. I looked at my old village, cloaked in darkness. I focussed hard, trying to feel a connection somehow. A pulling — a yearning. But it didn’t come. The village no longer called me. I no longer belonged there.

I turned around, and went into the forest. I treaded the mossy forest floors until I had made it back to the spot where I had first encountered the gateway. It seemed peaceful — quiet.

“Okay,” I said out loud, “here we are. What do I do now?”

I sat down on a tree stump, and took a deep breath. I recalled Aeloria’s words. ‘To travel anywhere, you must leave something — someone — some place. You must look within yourself to find your destination.’

I had left something. I had left someone, too. And I had left this place — or was about to. I closed my eyes, and focussed on looking inside myself.

What should I do? I was a nomad, a wanderer. I had no home anymore — no place to go. I didn’t belong in the human world, but didn’t belong in Ardanis either.

I rested my elbows on my knees, and put my face in my hands. I closed my eyes, and tried doing what Aeloria had told me. I looked within myself.

I pictured a compass, and watched it take shape in my mind. It was small, and made from shiny brass. The needle was bright red, and pointed straight ahead. I turned slightly, but the needle remained fixed, pointing in the same direction. My True North. And it wasn’t a place — it was a person. I knew exactly where to go.

I kept my eyes closed as I remembered Thoridor’s words. “You will feel your magic in your bones as soon as you begin to conjure it. It is woven into your very essence. You will need to feed it, as soon as you begin to feel the slightest tingle of it in your core being — feed it your energy. Give it all you have, until you feel it grow. Focus on growing it larger and larger, until it becomes this living, breathing thing. Picture it in your head, and focus on what you want it to do. In your case: create a gateway. Be specific in your wish —where should it appear, where should it lead— leave no room for error. I can’t make them myself, so I don’t know exactly what to do, but I know with all magic, you should be as specific as you can.”

I opened my eyes, and saw a face staring back at me. I jumped in shock, but then realized, the face was my own. I was staring at my own reflection. I had made another gateway, right there between my feet. It was smaller this time — just barely wide enough to fit me. I looked at the gateway, and wanted nothing more than to dive in.

That pulling and yearning I had hoped to feel when I looked at my old village — I felt it now. I looked over my shoulder one last time, whispered “I love you,” to Toph and Nys, and then dipped my hand into the puddle.

I was pulled in the first time I went into the gateway, and had to do all the swimming myself the second time. This time, I propelled through the liquid the way the Nixal had flung me toward Aquatic Ardanis, and the way Warrian had brought me to the surface on the way back.

I hardly felt the stinging of the liquid silver, and when it cleared out into water, I basked in the comfort of the warmth for a split second. And then I broke the surface, and opened my eyes. I had made it. I was back in the bathing chambers of my room in the Terrestrial Palace.

I lifted myself out of the water, and stepped onto the cold tile floor. I hadn’t thought this far ahead — I didn’t know where anyone was. Had they left the palace to go back to their respective homes? Had they even made it through the Sorael? What if they hadn’t— no. I couldn’t think like that.

I walked into the bed chamber, and toward the window, leaving a trail of wet footprints in my wake. I peered out the window, and my legs turned leaden as I beheld the battlefield. There was barely any snow left on it — and instead, had been turned red with blood. There were no bodies there — I wondered where they had been taken. I wondered about Myrtha, and if she would have gotten a proper burial.

I wondered how much time had passed in my absence, as I had only been in the human world for half a day. I walked back into the bathing chambers and found my garments from earlier — the tunic and gown. I changed into them, and went out into the hallway.

The palace was eerily quiet — no knights were lining the hallways, and there was no one in or near the dining room or library. I walked by the bed chambers, but all doors were closed. I walked the only route I remembered — down to the throne room. My heart fluttered with relief as I found knights there. I contemplated approaching one, but suddenly, the door flew open.