The Rules of Dating a Younger Man

Damn it, I made myself bleed.

And here I’d thought my childhood nervous habit was long gone. It had been years since I’d bitten my nails. Then again, I couldn’t remember the last time I was this nervous. I lifted my phone from the counter to check the time and bobbled it when it started to buzz. Brayden.

Just seeing his name on the screen slowed my pulse a little. Maybe I should’ve let him be here when I told my stepdaughter about us, like he’d offered. If I had, I might still have my favorite teapot, and my house wouldn’t smell like charred metal. Which reminded me, I needed to light a candle. I swiped to answer my phone as I headed to the cabinet where I kept them.

“Hey.”

“Freaking out?”

I smiled. “How did you know?”

He chuckled. “I know you, Alex.”

“Well, so far today, I’ve had to go to the liquor store twice, I put the tea kettle on the stove without filling it first, and then I forgot I put it on at all while I went in the shower. Oh, and I also cooked a brisket for two hours without turning the oven on.”

“You bought wine and had to go back to the store a second time? You drank what you bought on your first trip?”

“No, I brought two bottles of wine up to the counter at the liquor store, paid for them, and walked out without the bag. I didn’t realize until I went to take the package out of the car after I’d pulled into my driveway.”

Brayden laughed. “I wish you would’ve let me be there with you. I have a special injection that works wonders for calming nerves.”

“I bet you do…”

“Seriously though, babe. Everything’s going to be fine. And even if it isn’t—which it absolutely will be—we’re going to get through it together. We’re a team now.”

I sighed. It had been a long time since I’d had anyone to lean on. It was going to take some getting used to. But even when he wasn’t physically standing by my side, I knew in my heart that Brayden was here for me, no matter what. I smiled. “Thank you.”

“No thanks necessary. But I do need you to do something for me—before Caitlin arrives.”

“What’s that?”

“Go to the front door and grab the stuff that was just delivered.”

“How do you know something was delivered?”

“I got a notification on my phone. I thought you might be freaking out tonight, and since I’m not there to comfort you, I mailed you some supplies.”

I walked to the door with a different type of anxiousness. This kind made me smile. Out front was a large cardboard box. It had my name on it in Brayden’s familiar slashy handwriting.

“What did you send me?” I brought the package inside and set it on the living room coffee table.

“Switch me to FaceTime so I can watch you open it.”

“Okay.” I hit a couple buttons, and Brayden’s handsome face came on the screen. He had no shirt on, which went a long way toward distracting me. “Hi.” I gave him a goofy smile.

“Hey, beautiful.” He lifted his chin. “We probably don’t have long before your company arrives, so why don’t you open that up?”

“Alright, but you’ll have to call me back later with no shirt on so I can properly ogle you.”

He chuckled. “You got a deal.”

I ripped open the box, lifted a sheet of bubble-wrap packing, and found a bunch of small items inside. On top was a package of cookies, but I’d never seen the brand before. I held them up. “Comfort cookies?”

“They’re infused with CBD. I thought you might need to nibble one. It won’t make you high or anything, but it should relax you a bit.”

“Oh, that’s a great idea. We just started doing CBD massages at the spa, and people seem to love it.”

“Keep going.”

Next I lifted a candle. The glass container was all black, except for the white label which had only one big word: Calm. “This is perfect timing. I was just about to light a candle to get rid of the smell of my charred teapot.”

The packed box also had bath salts, chamomile tea, a scalp massager, and a stress ball. The last item at the bottom was in an unmarked red velvet box. I lifted it. “What pretty packaging.”

“That one is my favorite. It might also be a gift for me.”

My eyes widened as I opened the box to find a hot pink vibrator. I felt my cheeks heat as I slipped it out. I wasn’t a vibrator virgin, by any means. There was one in my nightstand right now, though it was nowhere near as big as this thing.

“I wasn’t sure if you had one,” Brayden said. “But your face is never so relaxed as it is after you come. So maybe we could have a little video sexting later. I’ll tell you all the things I’m going to do to you when I get there tomorrow while you use that on yourself.”

“It’s…big.”

Brayden winked. “I was going for as life-like as possible so you can pretend I’m there with you.”

I shivered. “Look what you did. I have goose bumps already.”

“And you look a heck of a lot calmer than you did before you opened the box. So I guess mission accomplished, even though you haven’t enjoyed any of the contents yet.”

I took a deep breath and smiled. “I do feel a lot better. Thank you, Brayden. That was very thoughtful of you.”

He laughed. “Some of them are dirty thoughts, but whatever it takes.”

Then the doorbell interrupted our conversation. My eyes flared. “Oh God. Caitlin is here. I need to hide this stuff.” I tossed the vibrator into the box, not even bothering to put it back into its pretty case, and looked around in a panic to find where I could hide it. Whatever calm had come over me quickly disappeared. “I gotta go. She’s here! She’s here!”

“Okay…give me two seconds first.”

“What?”

“Look at me.”

I looked into the phone.

“Close your eyes and take a deep breath.”

I was pretty sure I could use everything inside the box all at once and I’d still feel stressed now that Caitlin was at my door. But Brayden meant well, so I did as he asked and closed my eyes. When they opened, he smiled.

“I love you, sweetheart. Everything is going to be fine.”

“I’ll call you later.”

“Good luck.”

My heart raced as I searched for a place to stash the box. Not wanting to keep Caitlin waiting, I stuck it on the top shelf of the broom closet at the back of the kitchen. No one ever went in there. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans as I headed to the door.

When I opened it, Caitlin held up a bottle of merlot. “Is it wine o’clock yet?”

I brought her into a hug. “It most definitely is.”

But from the moment she stepped inside, an overwhelming awkwardness came over me. I prayed it was only in my head and Caitlin didn’t feel it, too. I’d always been told I wore my feelings on my face, so I tried to keep busy so she wouldn’t notice—opening the wine, checking dinner in the oven, setting the table—though the nervous energy radiated through me.

“So, what’s new?” I asked.

My stepdaughter smiled funny, and I wondered if I was talking too fast, or maybe my pitch was too high. That happened when I was nervous.

She smiled. “Justin asked me to be exclusive with him.”

“Oh! Wow. That’s good, right?”

“It’s really good. I like him a lot.”

I hated to make her news about me, but I was thrilled about her new relationship for selfish reasons. “I’m so happy for you, Caitlin.”

“Thank you. I want you to meet him. Do you have plans tomorrow night? Maybe the three of us can go out to dinner?”

“Umm…” Brayden was arriving tomorrow morning, but I didn’t want her to think I wasn’t excited to meet her new boyfriend, so I nodded and smiled. “Sure. I’d love that.”

Caitlin sat on a stool on the opposite side of the counter and sipped her wine. “He asked me to go to a wedding with him in a few weeks. His sister is getting married.”

“Does that mean you’ll meet his entire family?”

She nodded. “I’m nervous, but I’m over the moon that he wants to introduce me already. I didn’t get to the meet-the-family phase even after a few months with most of the guys I’ve dated. I asked Justin if his family had met a lot of his previous girlfriends, and he said only one. So it feels like a big step.”

“That’s wonderful. Tell me more. Does he have a big family?”

“Ginormous. He’s one of six kids, and his dad is one of ten. He seems pretty close to his mom, which I like, but not too close like that weirdo Eric I went out with once. Remember that guy? He brought his mother with him the first time we met for drinks?” Caitlin set down her wine glass. “And then there was that guy Wes I went out with a few times, the one who looked like such a badass—tattoos all over and drove a motorcycle—but lived in his mother’s basement and talked to her on the phone five times a day.”

I laughed, grateful she was doing most of the talking. “Are Justin’s parents still married?”

“No. They’ve been divorced since Justin was little. His dad is a dentist, too. Not an orthodontist, but a regular dentist. I actually met him already. Their offices are in the same building. It works out great because his dad refers a lot of business to Justin. But I have to say, his dad is pretty damn hot. As soon as I met him, I thought to myself—would it be weird to fix him up with Alex? Probably not now, but if I married Justin and you married James, then you would be my stepmother and my mother-in-law.” She laughed. “I figured between that and the Brayden situation, we’d belong on one of those Jerry Springer daytime TV shows for sure.”

Oh, God. Great. Just great.

I gulped half my glass of wine. Caitlin kept talking, but I got tangled up in my own thoughts. After a minute, she paused and looked at me funny. “Is everything okay, Alex?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

She looked pointedly at the cutting board in front of me, where I was slicing a loaf of bread. “Because you usually cook the frozen garlic bread before you try to cut it.”

I looked down. No wonder it’s so damn hard to slice.

I shook my head and tried to laugh it off. But Caitlin was studying me now. It made me sweat, and I stood there like a deer in the headlights, unable to come up with anything to say—not a damn word. After a minute, she looked concerned, and I suddenly felt like a pot of boiling water whose lid was about to pop off. I couldn’t contain the secret anymore.

“I slept with Brayden,” I blurted. “I’m in love with him. And we want to give the relationship a try. I wanted to forget about him. I swear to God, I tried, Caitlin. But he’s impossible to forget. I know he’s way too young for me, and the entire situation is crazy, but he’s only the second man I’ve ever loved, and I’m so afraid to lose love again. Losing your father nearly killed me, and I didn’t think it would ever happen again, and I was okay with that until I met Brayden. But then…” Tears welled in my eyes. “Landon died, and Ryan is dead, and life is so short and…” I took a deep breath because I ran out of air. “And I don’t want to go on Jerry Springer. I’m so damn terrified I’m going to lose you.”

Caitlin rushed around the counter to my side, pulling me into a hug. “Oh my gosh. Who is Landon and who is Ryan? I’m so sorry they died. But you’re never going to lose me, Alex. You’re stuck with me forever.”

A week of pent-up emotions bubbled to the surface, and I started to cry. I wasn’t even sure what I was crying about. Guilt for loving someone other than Richard? Happiness that Caitlin said I won’t lose her? Grief over Landon’s death? Whatever the reason, I ugly cried in my daughter’s arms—shoulder-shaking, snot-sniveling, hysterical ugly crying.

“Oh, Mom, don’t be upset.” She pulled back and looked at me, pointing to the tears streaming down her face. “You’re making me cry. And you know how I get. My face is going to get all puffy and red, and I was going to surprise Justin with a booty call on the way home tonight.” Caitlin laughed as she wiped her cheeks, and together we sniffled our bawling back under control. “What the hell are we crying about anyway? The fact that we’re both in love and happy?”

I laughed through the last of my tears. “I have no damn idea.”

After a few more minutes, we both finally calmed. Caitlin held my shoulders. “Are we good? Because I’m pretty sure you’re burning something in the oven.”

I swiped a rogue tear from my cheek. “I can’t be. I forgot to turn it on earlier today, so dinner still has a while to go.”

Yet sure enough, smoke billowed from the oven behind us. I grabbed a hand towel and fanned it away as I turned the knob and opened the door. Inside, sitting directly next to the beautiful, half-raw roast was a folded-up piece of paper, now charred brown. I pulled it out.

“What in the world is that?” Caitlin asked.

I closed my eyes. “It’s my grocery list. I was looking all over for that this afternoon.”

***

“You ready?” Brayden squeezed my hand. The next night, we were parked outside the restaurant where we were meeting Justin and Caitlin for a double date.

“Not really.”

He cupped my cheeks and pulled me close. “Come here.”

I thought he was going to give me some words of wisdom or a pep talk. But his mouth went to my ear. “Spread your legs. I brought the vibrator, just in case you freaked out. We have ten minutes before we have to go inside.”

My jaw dropped open. “Are you joking?”

He took my hand and slipped it into his sports jacket. Sure enough, he had the vibrator in the inside pocket.

Brayden grinned and flipped the switch on. His jacket hummed to life.

“Are you out of your mind? We’re about to have dinner with Caitlin.”

“I know. That’s why I brought it. I wouldn’t have needed it for a quiet dinner with you and me. I can move the car around the corner if being in front of the restaurant freaks you out. Though the thought of secretly making you come right here while people are passing by turns me on like you wouldn’t believe.” He moved my hand from the inside of his vibrating pocket down to between his legs. The man had a full-blown hard-on.

So of course, that had to be the moment my daughter walked up. She bent and knocked on the car window, waving. Oh. My. God. My hand is on his dick! Now she was going to think I was the instigator of this mess. I growled at Brayden, who looked pretty damn amused, and yanked my hand away. “I’m going to kill you.”

“You’re going to have to survive dinner first.”

If Caitlin noticed what had been going on in the car, she didn’t show it. I had no choice but to force a big smile and open the door. Brayden took a minute to get out, and I suspected I knew why. I also noticed he stood partially behind me while Caitlin and I made the introductions. Serves the jackass right.

Surprisingly, the first few minutes weren’t as awkward as I’d expected. Inside, our table wasn’t ready yet, so we went to the bar for a drink. Brayden ordered some obscure liquor that I’d never heard of, and Justin said it was his favorite. That sent the two men into a long conversation, jumping from one subject to another like they were long-lost friends.

Caitlin and I stood to the side, watching. She sipped her wine and whispered, “If you guys wind up getting married, I hope you don’t mind if I don’t call him Dad. You know, because I used to call him Daddy.”

My eyes practically popped from my head.

She grinned. “I’m kidding. Still too soon?”

“About a hundred years too soon, Caitlin Marie.”

But as weird as it was, her off-the-wall comment turned out to be just the ice breaker I needed. Laughing about the lunacy of our situation allowed us to acknowledge it and tuck it away, rather than letting it loom over the evening.

The four of us spent the next two-and-a-half hours laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Justin was a great guy, and once Brayden found out he’d invented a few gadgets for his orthodontics business, they pretty much forgot we were in the room. The evening couldn’t have gone better. At least until we were saying goodbye out in front of the restaurant.

Caitlin and I hugged, promising to call tomorrow, but I knew we’d probably be texting from the car in five minutes. When she pulled back, one of her earrings caught on my sweater and fell to the floor. Always the gentleman, Brayden bent to pick it up. When he did, something slipped from his pocket. His inside jacket pocket. Worse, when the hot pink vibrator clanked to the ground, the damn thing turned on. The four of us stood in the middle of the sidewalk, staring down at an eight-inch vibrator vibrating on the concrete.

I shut my eyes. “Please tell me that didn’t happen.”

Justin chuckled. “What? That my girlfriend’s mother’s boyfriend who used to be my girlfriend’s boyfriend just dropped a sex toy bigger than my junk on the ground?”

A smile bloomed on Brayden’s face. “Justin, you are going to fit in perfectly with my friends.”