The Purge

“Sometimes you don’t have to mean to hurt someone to hurt someone.”

Wonder; R.J Palacio

Being human is being a fool. I’m not degrading because a part of me is gifted with awesome powers from some miraculous comet. I’m saying this because being human we’re entitled to get hurt. Being human makes us vulnerable. But being human teaches us to learn.

Sometimes, we believe too much of the truth that it becomes a lie. And sometimes we can’t see through the lie because they ring with too much truth that we don’t want to hear.

I don’t want to believe what people are saying. I refused to hear it. And yet my actions would betray me. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Conleth. I was completely shaken. I knew, even though I look at him as my mentor and my friend something has changed. I am scared of him.

Conleth never meant to kill Fygun. It’s not in his nature. He’s a protector and not a killer. But people will always believe what they want to believe. People will always be on the side of the hype never in the side of the truth. Sometimes, when you’re on the right side, you stand alone and you lose everything. Conleth never got Bri back. She treated him like she never knew him-like he doesn’t matter at all. Maybe it’s the pain of losing Fygun. Or maybe it’s the guilt that she brought upon herself. Whatever her reason, she still chose to hate Con.

The next day, after Fygun’s death, the crowd went wild over Con bullying him from side to side. But he stood his ground. How many times he tripped over- I don’t know. He must be a martyr to endure such pain. He was like carrying an invisible cross on his shoulder. But one time, when someone tripped him on purpose, he fell head first on the ground. Bri made her way slowly in the laughing crowd. I thought that was the time she would actually take the floor and defend him. As the crowd went quiet, she took Con’s fallen juice box, pried it open, and poured its contents on top of his head. People howled and hooted. I tried to intervene but someone pulled my arm. I turned around to snap at Athren, but to my horror, Chivas was gripping my arm tightly.

“I won’t go there if I were you.”

I gritted my teeth as I forced myself to look away. “He’s still my friend.”

He snorted. “Make sure everybody in your boat is rowing and not drilling holes when you’re not looking.”

I turned back to him. I studied his face, trying to find that bit of sarcasm I know that’s going to follow. But I only saw the hard penetrating look in his eyes; tight the way he was gripping my arm. I swear I can feel it’s going to leave bruises. I forced him off of me and I started to back away.

“Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends. Just a number of friends you can be certain of. Know your circle, little girl.”

I don’t like Rafa Saladin. He’s very cocky and his hair looks like hairy worms. He thinks he’s better than Con. Worse was that Bri might have thought so too. I hated Bri for trading Conleth as well. If she can do it to him, she can do it to all of us. Fygun’s death had made changes in our group. Bri became more aloof than ever especially after Con left. Athren and Sigourney have this whole world only to themselves and I’m this total outcast with the smelly lone ranger who can create solar bombs with his hands.

I’ve been thinking about what Chivas said, about choosing my friends. I don’t know if he meant Conleth or Bri but if this is what they call friendship then loyalty has been slaughtered anyway. I’d rather be traded than be in a group that’s already been torn apart.