The Purge

“Sometimes David kills Goliath, and people never forget.”

Ender’s Game; Orson Scott Card

I got my halo dirty.

Sometimes when you think you’ve done the right thing, people blame you for what went wrong. And the best thing about the worst part of your life is that you get to see the true colors of everyone.

I could not even count the miserable things that happened to me after Fygun died. I was like a lost pup getting kicked at the street in different directions. I could only look down at my feet. Ignore the look on people’s faces. Be dumb about the whispers behind my back.

It takes nothing to fall in line. But it takes everything to stand alone. I’ve designed my own catastrophe. And now, I’ve completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.

Murderer! Murderer! Murderer!

I finally got my new nickname.

I can take all the bashes in a day. But what’s worse is to have the girl you love ignore you for the rest of your life. I wish I had died instead. What happened that night was out of place. But what scared me was the fact that I don’t even know if it was truly an accident or I truly wanted him dead.

I’ve never hurt people in my life even if I could control fire. I was never violent. I was good. Still am. But whenever I close my eyes and see Bri’s face, I’d suddenly remember the blood in my hands. In my conscience, I’m telling myself it was not my fault. But in people’s eyes—in Bri’s eyes, I’m a murderer.

After the incident, I ran off. I went back to the Battle Ship hoping for some refuge. I found a boat and I sailed out into open sea. But the Zenith wasn’t done with me. Somehow, they were able to dig into my display, controlled my body and before I knew it, I was back in Battle Camp. There’s no escape for the wicked.

After my encounter with Bri, I expected heavier consequences for my reckless behavior. But for some reason, the legislators, even the Zenith turned a dumb ear at the incident like it never happened. Well, not until the trade that happened in the canteen.

It was lunch time when Bri was half way to our table when she called for Imogen Morgenstern’s attention.

“You want a trade, Imogen?” she announced to (almost) everybody even though she was only talking to Imogen. It was a public display of humiliation. The moment her eyes met mine, I knew exactly what was going to happen next.

“A trade?” Imogen cocked an interested eyebrow at her. “Sounds nothing like you, Bri. What do I get from it?”

“My Firewielder in exchange for your Rogue.” Bri prompted without a beat. “I’m sure it’s a fair bargain.”

Something in me broke. I willed her to look at me. But she doesn’t. Her eyes remained hard on Imogen, devoid of any emotion. I expected her to be harsher. Ditching me off her team was at least lenient. My comrades refused to look at me except for Halley who finally snapped out of her charade.

Imogen smiled at her in sheer delight. “Gladly.”

“I’ll take your bomber.” Bri added.

She was talking about the Rogue from the Garuda Army named Rafa Saladin. A brown skinned boy with dreadlocks for his hair. The Zenith calls him “The Bomber” because of his abilities to produce solar-electric energy with his hands. Releasing them can create havoc at its wake.

Halley stood up from her seat while I stayed grounded. I don’t know what else to say. I was weakened by her decision.

“You can’t just do this!” Halley shouted.

“I just did, Halley.” Bri snapped without looking back at her.

Halley’s nose flared and she stood firmly like she’s trying to control her tears.

“We must make arrangements with Colonel Black then to confirm the trade.”

“Colonel Black has been informed. So, do we have a deal?”

“Done.” Imogen reached out to shake hands with Bri and she shook it. “It was nice doing business with you.”

Bri nodded and she went out of the canteen. The rest of us followed behind her. I looked back at Imogen. She smiled and winked at me. I felt my heart drown into unknown waters. I refused to think of what’s going to happen to me after.

“How could you? Conleth belongs to our team!” Halley shouted after her like she’s not her commander at all.

“Are you questioning my decision, soldier?” she turned around and faced her. “I’m the commander and I decide what’s best for this army.”

“You only decide what’s best for you.” Halley mumbled.

“If you can’t take a few strategic sacrifices then be prepared to lose. I’m not used to losing, Halley. I don’t think Conleth Argent is still an effective soldier of mine after what he did. So, you are either on my side, by my side, or in my fucking way. Choose wisely, little girl.”

Halley looked at her like she’s about to throw a tantrum. So before things got worse, I summoned my courage and took over.

“It’s all right, Blondie.” I ruffled her hair. “I’m gonna be fine there. We’re still under the same roof. I’m not that far. No worries. It’s not biggie.”

She sniffled. She was looking down at her boots.

“I wish you didn’t have to take it personally.” She sniffled again and then she rushed towards me and hugged me before she could let anyone see her cry. “I’m gonna miss you.”

I smiled despite the hurt everything was pressing me. “I will miss you too.” I looked up and met Bri’s eyes. “All of you.”

She looked away and she started to move ahead. “If you’re done with your goodbyes, you may leave.”

Athren came over and rested his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, bro.”

I reached over and gave him a half hug despite our arguments. We seemed to have forgotten them already. Sigourney wiped her tears away and leaped for a bear hug. She squeezed Halley in between who still refused to let me go.

“I wish it didn’t have to end like this. We’re a solid team you know.”

“Yeah, until your bitch of a commander ruined it for good.” Halley said as she pushed herself away from me and scowled at Bri’s direction.

I pinched her cheek. “Don’t be bitter. Be better.”

She turned back to me and her eyes watered again.

I know this is gonna be hard—starting over again. Within the days, the weeks, and presumably months with the Wyvern Army, I felt like I had a family. And now that I’m being transferred, it felt like the first time getting into Battle Camp once again. I’m leaving my family behind. But that’s just life; it’s how it shows how tough it can be. When shit happens you just have to deal with it. I am dealing with it—eventually.