The Million Dollar Man

<< Before we go into the room, and successfully ruin the lives of those who have ruined us, why don't you go get cleaned up? You look like shit. >>

I inwardly praised myself for my acting skills as I laughed at her words, while in reality I just wanted to slap her.

No thanks to you, I thought to myself. I quickly pocketed my new toy before nodding and agreeing with her.

<< You can get cleaned up in that bathroom over there, and I've left some clothes for you to change into when you're done. >>

I faked a grateful smile before exiting the office. Ignoring Sampson's questions, I stepped into the bathroom and effectively locked the door behind myself, making sure that I wouldn't have to deal with anyone's nonsense for at least fifteen minutes.

I sighed as I stared at my reflection in the mirror, eyeing the dark bruises that scattered over my pale skin. Chief Carter wasn't kidding; I did look like shit. Worse, even.

I gasped as a wave of nostalgia and sadness swept me off my feet, leaving me cowered on the tiled floor of the shower while freezing water pelted down onto my weak form.

<< Why don't you just leave him? » I asked. The question was all too familiar with me, and while I knew the answer would be the same, I always felt the need to ask my mother this.

She laughed lightly as she stared at the mirror, her eyes swimming with tears. She was in pain and she wouldn't do anything about it.

That was something I could never understand. If you had the chance to put an end to your misery, wouldn't you?

No one likes to suffer, at least, not if they can help it.

<< You wouldn't understand this now, »> my mother spoke, << but your father is my million dollar man, baby, and there's nothing I can do about it but love him. »

I guess that was the day I shut the concept of love out of my life. Love shouldn't be destructive; yet it is.

Love is just beautiful destruction.

I stepped out of the shower, quickly drying myself off as more unwanted memories flooded back to me.

<< Mom, are you high again? » I snapped, my voice cracking as my pain became too overwhelming to hide any longer.

Her eyes shot up to meet mine, a look of shock coating her features. << No, I am not. >> Her response was soft, telling me that my words had struck a nerve in her. I felt the guilt pool in the pit of my stomach, but I couldn't find it in myself to apologize.

<< Then what the hell are you talking about? What is a 'million dollar man' ? >> My words were sharp and angry, but they were full of my unexpressed torture. I needed some sort of explanation from her. Why, how could she just expect me to understand her at all?

She turned to face me, and instantly my eyes drifted to the bruises that decorated her skin.

<< He's the one you can't leave, not even if you wanted to, not even if you tried. Because in the midst of all the chaos in life, he's the one you're going to want, the one that you're going to need. And you can't leave him, because you don't want to. »

Her words made bile rise in my throat.

<< You'll know, baby girl, you'll know exactly what I mean when you find him-When you find your million dollar man. >>

I hope I never do, I remember thinking to myself. I hope I don't turn out like this.

I snapped back to reality at the sound of someone knocking on the door. Tears were flooding down my cheeks, but my face was expressionless.

I had to do this.

Chief Carter had everything she needed, and know the last part of it was for me to finally get my revenge.

I pulled my small toy out of the pocket of my battered shorts, holding it tightly in my hand as I slipped another object into my back pocket. After cleaning my face, I sighed and gave up, seeing that this was as good as it was going to get.

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I flung open the door when I was finished, glaring angrily at Sampson, who had his fist poised, ready to come down on the door again.

<< Finally, he snapped, smirking down at me.

My cold look seemed to do the trick, as he shifted uncomfortably, looking around the hallway, before motioning me to follow him.

« Are you, uh, ready? » He asked, looking uncertain.

<< Why the fuck would I not be ? » My voice came out strong and bitchy, making me smile on the inside. I needed to be strong right now.

I entered the dark room, staring at the three boys behind the glass. I forced all emotion out of my being, and focused on the anger and adrenaline to kick back in and fuel me in my last attack against them.

This is it, I told myself, once you do this, you'll never have to see them again.

But do you want that?

I felt myself hesitate, and then realized that Sampson was saying something to me.

<< ...Just come in when the time is right, okay? » He asked, looking at me deeply. I nodded my head, although I wasn't exactly sure of what he had been telling me before hand.

I watched as Chief Carter and Sampson entered the interrogation room, knowing smirks on their faces.

I pulled both objects out of my pocket, giving myself something to distract myself with as I listened to them talk to the boys. Their voices were sickly sweet, and by the time I looked up, I felt something tug on my insides. Sebastian's expression was murderous, while the rest of the boy's looked incredibly pissed off.

If they think they're pissed off now, just wait till I walk in.

<< Well since Mason has wiped all of the evidence, how the hell are you going to get anyone to provide you with any information to testify against us ? » Sebastian's voice was gruffer than I had remembered, and something about hearing him sent shivers down my body. << No one would be that stupid. >>

I felt my body move forward, ready to walk through the doorway and declare myself as the one and only stupid idiot who would go against the most powerful gang in London.

Well, the former, most powerful gang in London.

<< Oh really? >> Chief Carter hissed, making me stop in my tracks.

Sebastian sneered, his eyes glinting with hatred. << I'm fucking positive. He'd have to be absolutely suicidal to even try to take the Kings down. >>

<< She. »>

My voice rang out, hard and steady.

<< And you're wrong, >> I said, malice leaking into my words, << She isn't fucking suicidal. >>

I took slow, deliberate steps towards Sebastian, maintaining eye contact the whole way.

<< She's pissed as fuck. >>

I felt the rush of adrenaline shoot through my being, and my hand acted on its own. The sound of the slap echoed throughout the room, and those in it could only watch on with absolute shock.

A red mark was blossoming on Sebastian's cheek, and I watched dully as he worked his jaw around, trying to ease the pain.

<< I trusted you,>> I snarled, my eyes glinting as anger poured out of me. << I trusted you and you fucking abused my trust. Hell, you fucking abused me. >> I felt my fists clench and unclench.

<< Remember when I tried to run away, and when you found me, you decided to beat me into a bloody pulp ? » A humorless laugh left my lips as the memory shot through my head. << I hated you for that. I hated that you were beating your way into my life, and there was nothing I could do about it. You made me feel helpless and worthless. >>