The Magic of Christmas

He didn’t know what to expect from his outburst and was not surprised when everyone in the room tried talking at once. The Chief Elf was babbling on about high-handed attitudes, the Union Elf was screaming dictator at him, and threatening strike action, plus extra chocolate breaks to soothe his members nerves, the Tooth Fairy demanded his immediate resignation in favour of someone who supported rotten teeth in children, the young secretary Elf was wailing about never having been spoken to like this before, while Arnold began quoting rules and regulations about Santa’s powers when it came to managing the village and Christmas.

He let them babble, scream and shout at him, he didn’t care what they said; he had had enough, and today it was going to stop. He sat back in his chair watching them as they tried to talk and shout over each other. He smiled at them infuriating the Chief Elf even more. The scene was comical; anyone looking in from the outside would be roaring with laughter at the antics of the pale green-skinned elves dancing around in self-righteous indignation while trying to get their point across over the raised voices of their council comrades.

Eventually, after a full five minutes, they came to realise that Travis wasn’t answering them or trying to quieten them. He just sat waiting for the din to finish with a smile on his face that boded ill will to everyone in the room. He waited until all were seated again and silence reigned in the room for a good minute before he spoke.

‘You,’ he said rounding on the Tooth Fairy. ‘I’m ignoring you; your only interest is getting kids with rotten teeth to visit. You Chief,’ he turned to Oswald before the Tooth Fairies inward gasp of breath could be let out with another barrage of complaints about bad teeth, ‘should be working with me on this, yet all I get from you is stupid problems that a half-brained idiot could sort out in less than ten seconds. I don’t know, but believe me, if this attitude of yours carries on I will be looking at the legal department for a way to fire you.’ The Chief Elf was stunned by this shrinking back into his chair, his pale green skin taking on a much sicklier hue.

‘As for you,’ Travis said with venom pointing at the Union Elf, ‘you object to anything and everything for the sake of it, you never offer a constructive way forward as your one and only objective is to try and secure extra chocolate breaks. Well, that stops here and now. As for going on strike, please feel free, because as a striking Elf I am sure there is a rule barring you from this village in case your presence here affects the running of the village and is detrimental to the Spirit of Christmas. If that rule is not in place as we speak then be assured, it will be five minutes after this meeting finishes. So please go on strike it will get you out of my sight. Any comments so far?’ Travis asked looking about the room with daggers in his eyes daring anyone to speak.

‘Good,’ he stated as shocked staring eyes looked at him in disbelief. ‘Mr Solicitor, you were shouting rules and regulations governing my powers here; as you have failed to supply me with a copy of these rules I am disregarding all you have said, or may say in the future until I have seen, read and understood the said rules. I suggest you make that a priority, don’t you? Lastly you,’ he turned to the young secretary. ‘I offer my sincere apologies at my outburst and hope you understand what I said wasn’t directed at you but at the fools seated around this table. Please forgive me, you’re the one person here who offers any sort of sanity. Now, if there is nothing else I will talk to young Bethany while you lot get on with what you’re supposed to be doing.’ So saying, he stood to his feet and marched out of the room getting a glimpse of three astonished and open-mouthed Elves, and one furious Fairy as he closed the door behind him.

It had been a strange morning and Travis was still unsure of what had happened as he stepped through the doorway leading to his bedroom at home. The one thing he was sure of, was his new-found assertiveness; Rosie later told him he walked about and spoke to people with a lot more confidence than he used to. Travis didn’t know that of course, all he wanted to do was tackle Bethany about trying to bring friends to the village. He cornered her in her room, so engrossed in Facebook she never heard him come in.

‘Right young lady,’ he barked making her jump. ‘What’s this about you trying to take friends to the village?’

‘It’s not fair dad,’ she countered after her nerves had settled. ‘You can take Mum there, and she can take you but I can’t take anyone, I can’t even tell my best friend Gill about it. It’s not fair!’

‘Fair or not the fact is you can’t, and badgering the Elves to let her in won’t work either, so stop it. They have enough to do without having to listen to you whining. The only one who can let anyone else through that door in the bedroom is me, and Gill whatever her name is the bottom of the list. Is that understood?’

‘But it’s not fair Dad,’ she wailed. ‘Gill’s my best mate, we do everything together, we sit next to each other in school, everything.’

‘Bethany, get it through your thick head that I can’t even tell people who I am; I can’t even tell my own brother, your Uncle Peter, so what makes you think you can? No more Beth, if I get one more complaint from the Elves about you I will ban you from the village as well. Is that clear enough for you?’

‘Yes Dad,’ she grumbled. ‘But it’s still not fair.’

The day was beginning to get to Travis; everyone it seemed had a problem or was part of a problem. In the past, he had found relief from the days woes in the pub with a few pints of beer, but since his forced aversion to alcohol he had refrained from visiting his once fortress of solitude in case he was laughed at for drinking lemonade. Today however, he had had enough and after remonstrating with Bethany took himself to his favourite watering hole to escape his daughters, Elves, wives and anyone else who wanted to unload their problems onto him.

He arrived as the door flew open and Sue rushed out in tears. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked while inwardly thinking ‘What the hell now.’

‘You, you’re what’s wrong,’ she blubbered pushing past him and running to her car.

Her tyre’s screamed on the tarmac as she hit the accelerator pedal and the car lurched away from the kerbside to disappear around the corner a hundred yards away. Travis stood open-mouthed wondering what the hell had he done now to get Sue in such a state, especially as whatever it was he was clearly to blame. Shaking his head in bewildered confusion he pushed open the door and went to the bar.

‘And you can tell her from me, if she thinks I’m hanging around waiting on her she’s another think coming,’ Phil’s angry voice shouted in his ear from somewhere behind him.

Travis turned to see his future son in law, red-faced and seething. ‘Calm down Phil,’ he said with a resigned air. ‘What the hell’s gone on mate? You look as if you want to take on the world, and our Sue’s just run out as if the bats of hell were chasing her.’

‘It’s over, that’s what’s gone on,’ he said angrily. ‘She’s having an affair with someone; taking me for a prize fool, I bet I’m the last one to find out too.’

‘Whoa, whoa,’ Travis replied shocked at the accusations against his daughter. ‘Back up a bit there lad. What makes you think she’s seeing someone else?’

‘Because she’s hiding something from me, I know she is, and the more she denies it the more I can see her lying about it. I’m sorry Mr McGee but this has been going on for weeks, it’s just blown up today.’

‘You’re right son,’ Travis said, ‘but what she’s hiding has nothing to do with her seeing someone else. Sue’s a good girl Phil; you ought to know that by now. What she’s hiding is a family thing we won’t speak of outside the family, and before you wade in with you’re nearly family the fact is you’re not, not yet, so she can’t speak to you about it. Calm down mate and if you really want to know what she’s hiding, I suggest you chase after her before she wraps that car of hers around a lamppost and marry her as soon as you can.’

‘Sorry Mr McGee, but you’re bound to say something like that, she’s your daughter. I can’t trust her, she’s never mentioned family or any other reason not to tell me, just tells me to shut up whenever I ask her about it.’

‘Well Phil,’ Travis said looking him square in the eye. ‘If that’s the way you feel she’s well shut of you. It’s your loss, not hers.’ That was when Travis got his second round of applause, not from Elves or sprites, this time from the regulars in the pub who had all stopped to listen to Phil’s angry outburst. Phil turned on his heel and stomped off.

By the time he got home Rosie had calmed Sue, so much so she was actually seeking Travis out to talk to him and ask his advice.

‘Look love,’ he said gently. ‘All couples have rows, some bad ones when we say things we don’t mean to each other, look at me and your mother, but we’re still together and we love each other. This is going to go one of two ways; either Phil comes around begging for another chance, or he distrusts you so much then the relationship is over. If it’s the second way, then you are well shut of him because if you married him, you would have a dog’s life not being able to move, or talk to other people without undergoing a Spanish Inquisition. Personally love, I think he will be here on bended knee begging to get back together.’

‘My God!’ Rosie exclaimed from behind him. ‘Where’s my husband gone, who’s that you’re talking to Sue?’

‘Funny,’ Travis said without mirth. ‘Leave it out Rosie, I’ve had a day and a half of it, and what I said to Sue I also said to her idiot boyfriend a couple of hours ago.’

‘Trav,’ Rosie said coming over to him and placing an arm around his shoulders. ‘I’m not being funny love; this Santa job has changed you and I like it; I don’t think we’ve had a row since you got it.’

‘Yeah Dad,’ Sue said wiping her eyes. ‘But what did you say to Phil, is he coming around?’

‘Said exactly what I told you except I added you couldn’t tell him what you were keeping from him because it was a family thing. I also told him if he married you then he would be told, that’s what makes me think he will be around begging forgiveness before the day is out. Can I suggest you elope and marry the stupid sod to get all this out of the way?’

Little did he know his remark would bear fruit, two weeks later the pair were married in Gretna Green. They arrived home late the following day, clear to both Travis and Rosie everything in the life of his daughter and son in law was not all Roses. She had puffy eyes and streaked mascara from crying all the way home while he was angry and irate with the world believing he had been conned into getting married. Sue had told him Travis was Santa Claus and to say he was unbelieving would be an understatement. He rounded on Travis as soon as they walked through the front door.

‘Look, Mr McGee,’ he said dumping his suitcase in the hall. ‘I don’t know what the hell is going on here; she tells me you’re Santa Claus, not from a Grotto, but the real one. Now come on, she’s keeping something from me and expects me to believe that hogwash. You said it was a family thing, and I respect that and can understand her not wanting to tell me something that could be embarrassing or, or, or whatever, you know what I mean. I want to know what the hell is going on, cos as far as I can see, I’m being told a load of tripe which makes me think she’s been with someone else.’

‘Two things Phil,’ Travis said quietly when he was sure Phil had finished talking. ‘One, don’t ever come into this house shouting the odds again; this is my house, not yours, and you will treat it with the respect Sue’s Mum, and myself deserve. Two, apologise to your wife for being a stupid, small minded, distrustful fool who doesn’t deserve her. I’m angry Phil, angry that my daughter is hurt and upset, and you better see she gets over whatever you said to her before you come anywhere near me again, or as God is my judge I’ll beat the living daylights out of you.’

An hour later Sue followed by a shame-faced Phil, came into the Living room while Travis was watching the racing on the TV. He might not be able to bet on horses any more, but he still enjoyed the racing side of the sport. Sue looked a lot happier; she still had slightly puffy eyes, but the crying had stopped, and she appeared to have turned the tables on her husband. She was angry now while he was contrite.

‘I’m sorry Mr McGee,’ he said as Travis looked up from the race card in the paper. ‘I shouldn’t have taken off like that.’

‘Apology accepted,’ Travis replied, ‘is everything OK with you two now, or am I in for another round of tears?’

‘We’re good Dad,’ Sue replied giving Phil a look of contempt. ‘But this Santa business needs sorting before it drives us both mad.’

‘Are you angry with him?’ he asked with a wicked smile. ‘Do you think he needs teaching a lesson or shall I be gentle with him?’

‘Teach him a lesson,’ was her immediate response, ‘make him suffer, he put me through hell all the way back from Gretna.’

‘Suffer badly, or just a little suffer?’ he asked his daughter as Phil watched the two of them, consternation beginning to cross his features. ‘Remember he’s your husband and you’ll have to put the bits back together.’

‘Don’t hurt him,’ she replied, ‘he’s got to go to work tomorrow.’

‘Sit down Phil,’ Travis ordered his new son in law, and waited till he was seated in the armchair opposite him. ‘What I do now, I do with pleasure because of the way you’ve slighted my daughter, and me, by not believing what she told you. One thing I am getting to really dislike is someone who doesn’t believe in Me.’

Travis thought of tinsel wrapping around Phil’s legs to stop him from moving. Bound by red and green strands Phil began to squeal and wriggle in an effort to escape. More strands wrapped around his arms binding them to his side, a small brightly decorated tree sprouted out of his head, boxes wrapped in Christmas paper began to appear all around his feet and saving the best to last, Travis turned his hair white and gave him a long white bushy beard. Leaving Phil to his fate, Travis took Sue into the kitchen for a cup of tea while Phil, as Travis put it, made his mind up if he believed in Santa or not. Thirty minutes later they returned to see a disgruntled Phil being questioned by Bethany.

‘Hey Dad,’ she squealed turning from Phil as Travis and Sue came in, ‘whys Phil decorated like that, are we giving him away to someone. Is he a present, who’s he going to, can our school have him?’

‘More important,’ Travis replied to his daughter, ‘why are you off school. If you’re playing hooky young lady you’re in serious trouble.’

‘Teachers training day Dad,’ she beamed knowing she wasn’t in trouble. ‘Can I have some money please Dad, me and Gill want to go into town shopping?’

‘Ask your mother,’ he said, ‘now shoo, go away, I have to talk to your new brother.’

‘Can I stay while you talk to him, it looks fun him all done up like that. What else you gonna do to him Dad?’

‘I said shoo,’ Travis tried not to smile, ‘go before you end up like him.’

‘S’not fair,’ she grumbled shuffling out the door. ‘I miss all the fun in this house.’

‘Well?’ Travis said after removing all the Christmas trappings. ‘Do you still need a bit of convincing or will that be enough?’

‘Enough,’ he muttered, ‘but I’m sorry Mr McGee, I still can’t quite accept you’re the real Santa Claus,’ tinsel wrapped around his legs. ‘No, no,’ he pleaded, ‘I didn’t say I didn’t believe you, I just find it hard to accept.’

‘No harder than the rest of us lad,’ Travis smiled. ‘I’ll leave you two alone to talk, later I’ll give you a tour of The Village, and if you want, I’ll see if I can’t get you a job or something. You too if you want one Sue, but I leave that up to the pair of you; now I’m off to sort a few Elves out.’