The Girl Who Was Buried in Her Ball Gown

I should be turning fourteen this day, but I’m not sure anymore. Mum and Nikki had been working on my cake, a yummy banana cake, my favourite, they also decorated it. Nikki had taken charge of the design; she was such a sweet sister and did a great job. Mum cooked my favourite meal too. There was corned beef, new potatoes, mustard, peas, honey–glazed carrots and also a jug of gravy. I tried to imagine how I once relished it upon my palate; mmm! It was lovely. It looked nice anyway but I couldn’t taste it, not anymore.

For dessert, Nikki had made a fruit salad and pavlova, Mum baked a cheesecake too. All this for me, how wonderful.

I sat next to Nikki and Tim sat across the table from me; Mum, at one end and Dad at the other. Tim wanted to say grace tonight and so he did.

“Dear Jesus, thank you for this yummy dinner and cake and dessert and our party. Thank you that you are watching over us and Emma. Mum, is Emma coming to the party?”

“Yes dear, I’m sure she wouldn’t miss it, only we can’t see her anymore.”

“Yeah, that’s right. She’s in heaven now, isn’t she? She’s just coming into our heads and our hearts.”

“Yes Tim. And into our memories too.” I was tearing up again. Dad didn’t look particularly cheery; Nikki was composed and Mum was serene. Well, she looked it anyway, but I knew better.

“Dear Jesus, bless the food and hands that cooked it and the yummy dessert. In Jesus’s name, amen.”

“Amen. Good boy Tim, you are a very clever boy, aren’t you?”

“Yep, the best.” That made everyone chuckle. Oh Tim, you are so cute. I miss you.

They dished up and ate in silence, my plate was left empty. Dad had a dark look about him. He suddenly stood, bolt upright from his seat.

“Twenty–two months! Twenty–two bloody months, Joy. Ludicrous!” I could see his eyes were bloodshot. Had he been drinking again?

“Now Max, don’t start. Please just sit down and eat.” Dad sat down again and remained silent for the rest of the meal, drinking a few beers, while the rest of my family made small talk. “Okay, time for the cake. Max, can you please light the candles.” Dad stood stiffly and went to the pantry for the matches and lit the candles. He carried the cake, aflame to the table and Tim started to sing and everyone joined in.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…” I saw the sad faces and tearful eyes; I heard their crackling voices, “Happy birthday dear... Emma.” Then I saw Dad throw the cake on the table then storm out, whacking the fruit bowl off the bench with his strong sweeping arm, resulting in a clutter of apples and bananas in the kitchen, “Happy birthday to you.” Mum got up quickly and went to him as he leaned against the wall in a rage, shaking violently.

“Max, Max it’s okay, we’re here too. We need you to keep calm.”

“Twenty–two bloody months! Patrick bloody Winton gets twenty–two months and I have a dead daughter!” I had never seen Dad so upset, as he pounded his huge fist up against the wall.

“Max, it was not murder! It was just a stupid mistake that any teenager could have made. He regrets it, but he can’t change it. You can’t change the past either. We have to forgive him Max.”

“Oh I see, just forgive him. And will that bring Emma back?”

“Of course not, nothing will bring her back. Max please sit down. Please.” Dad spun around quickly and stomped to the table and sat down in his chair, brooding. I wanted to do something, I wanted to appear, but I wasn’t sure if I should. I didn’t know what to do. Dad resumed his meal while Nikki and Tim blew out my candles. Nikki cut the cake.

“How can I forgive him? Joy, I can’t.”

“You must. All of us must. Oh Max, do you think it’s easy for us? Do you? Besides, what will it achieve if you hold on to this anyway? We must forgive him.”

“I’ll bloody kill him, when he gets out.”

“No! No, you will not. Then you will end up where he is, for much longer. And the kids will end up with no father and me with no husband.” Dad finally settled down, my birthday wasn’t too ruined after all.

“Dad you have to forgive him as Jesus has forgiven us. We can’t make ourselves bigger than He is, by not forgiving Patrick. Besides, He has commanded us to forgive.” Well, I thought, my little sister really is growing up.

“Emma hasn’t gone forever; we’ll see her again, one day when we get to heaven, won’t we Mummy?” Oh, Tim was so cute sometimes.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to put in an appearance. I concentrated and soon enough there I was, in full view for them all to see, and I waved. “Ah, hi!” I said. Nikki gasped and smiled while raising her hand to her open mouth; Mum nearly jumped out of her chair and Dad rose slowly and unsurely. The funniest thing was, after a few moments it dawned on Tim and everyone else, that it really was – sort of – me, and then Tim ran around the table and launched himself at me, yelling my name. He ended up in tears, as he hit the wall just past me. We all giggled a little, except for him.

“Emma, you didn’t catch me!” Tim wailed.

“Sorry Tim, I can’t. I’m a ghost.” The whites of his eyes grew wide, as his surprise gave him away.

“A ghost? But I’m not scared of you.”

“You don’t have to be Tim. Look, I really love you all and I miss you. I can’t stay very long like this but I’m still here, I’m alright. Totally confused, but alright.”

“Oh, happy birthday honey,” Mum said stiffly.

“Emms, what is heaven like?” Nikki was curious.

“Oh, Nikki, I don’t know. I haven’t been there yet.” Tears started to well up again. Get under control will you! “I wish I knew. So, how is school?” I needed to change the subject.

“Fine, I guess. Emma, you’re fading.” She was right, I couldn’t appear for much longer.

“I’ve gotta go. Thanks for the awesome birthday. I love you all, I’ll be looking out for you. I miss you.” And then I was ‘only the lonely’ again. However, I caught glimpses of my beautiful family looking for me every now and again. Tim was chatting all evening about me and my visit. I stayed until they went to bed. I virtually tucked Nikki in and realised just how fast my dear little sister was growing up. She was budding! Darn! She looked like she was gonna develop before I ever did. That made me a little mad, but not really. I kissed Tim and went in, to kiss Mum and Dad… but ewww! I got out fast, when I saw what they were getting up to. Soon all the lights went out and I popped off to see Martin again.

“Martin, are you awake?”

“Oh, hello hottie.” He knew how to make me blush every time, damn it. “About time you came to see me. I was missing you. Your friend was here earlier.”

“My friend, who?”

“Oh, that girl; you know, the one pretending to be you.” Oh, that one. I was fuming!

One thing I couldn’t understand, was how resistant Martin was to all of her lies. He told me about some of the subtler stuff she would say to him, like, “Do you feel stupid now? How could you let me die?” But she had also spoken the foulest notions to him. Stuff like, “Martin, you’re a vegetable now. Useless to society,” and, “You’re already dead. You, have killed me. You deserve to die!” Really screaming it out loud. The whole hospital should have heard her, but no one did. She’d scream, “It’s your fault that I am dead. They’re going to pull the plug on you Martin.” She was a sicko! She had tried to chip away at his morale and his spirit. She had only been a little successful and put him into a bit of depression for a few days. However, she could not hold him there. Boy, Martin was strong! I was amazed, he was amazing. And I loved him for it. Martin had told me that his Mum and Dad were praying for him. That is all I could put it down to, that someone was praying for him.

“Emms, I love you.”

“Don’t Martin, please don’t. I can’t handle this.”

“I want to be together with you always.”

“Stop it Martin, you don’t know what you are saying.” Hey, did I just see his finger move?

“Yes, I do. I know what I’m saying.”

“You forget one minor detail. I’m dead!”

“You’re still here, why are you still here? I can see you, I can hear you…”

“But you can’t touch me. I don’t know, I don’t know why I’m still here. I wish I did.” More stupid tears. I was such an emotional wreck. Why was I still here? I was getting angry. Why I was still there, bugged me every day, I didn’t like this sometimes and wanted out! Sometimes I just wanted to scream, or run away somewhere; somewhere I wouldn’t know anyone else. Paris, Texas, the Himalayas! Anywhere! But not here. And yet I stayed.

Every day I would see around me, a flash of light as someone else went to – my guess was – heaven. I had also seen people taken by scrawny demon arms, that came up through the ground without warning. When the ground opened like that, the screams I heard coming up from the earth, grated like chalk against a blackboard – only worse – it scared me. It seemed like the noise was coming from the same place that the chameleon girl, the demon girl and her friends had gone to; however, usually when her demon friends went, or came, there were no screams – only silence – except that one time when my Auntie had killed herself.

Oh no, I just remembered, Adrian had gone that way. Poor Adrian, only he didn’t come back, like this evil demon did.

Yes, I did see it move. His hand was moving. “Martin! Nurse! Come quickly! Martin, you are moving your hand!”