Chapter Chapter Five: Where is She Now?
I spent a week by Martin’s side and never left him. If this Maori girl, or – Michelle girl, whatever she was – came for my Martin, I would be ready; ready to whawhai her! He woke, we talked, he slept, I waited. He woke, we talked, he slept, and I waited. It was nice. Nothing changed though and I was totally bored out of my tree. By day ten, I had read everything in that drab hospital room, well the cover pages anyway, since I couldn’t actually turn those damn pages, but when someone else did... I was there, hovering over their shoulder like a shot. Heck, I was even looking through their shoulders or whatever, just to get my stupid brain to function and do something new!
I had met all the doctors and nurses, well I had seen them and heard them. I even tried to talk with some of them, but they didn’t reply. New patients came and went; family and friends did too. Nikki and Mum came once as well, even Dad. I wondered if I should appear to them? But, I wasn’t sure about that.
God, I was bored! My brain needed stimulation, I muttered to myself like a nutter, “Why am I here anyway? What could actually happen? So what if she came here, what could she do anyway?” I needed to get out of here, before I went mad! And that idea made me wonder if Jason was there himself yet – mad, I mean and already in the loony bin. Ugh, why was being dead so damned hard? I needed to cut a track! Just one more day and I was going to be outta there! One more day came and went and I told Martin I’d be back later to see him.
“I’m gonna miss you honey, give me a kiss – well, try to anyway.” And I did. He still had his humour, that was good.
“Oh Martin, are you ever going to recover? Besides, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You don’t want to hang around with a dead girl, do you? What good will that be? No children, no wedding bells. You might end up in the loony bin yourself, like Jason. Remember I told you about him?”
“Hey, don’t talk like that. All I need right now, is here in front of me; I know it’s not a normal relationship, but are there any normal ones?”
“The only cross-race relationships I know about, are usually with a man and his dog! I’m not a man, and you’re not a dog!”
“Oh, you are really smart honey. Witty too.” And you Martin, are beautiful! Oh, how I wanted to be with you.
“Don’t call me honey,” I grumped, it was annoying but sweet as well. This was so confusing! “This is never going to work. Look Martin, just get better okay. Please! For me, for your family, for yourself. Just be careful. This girl is bound to turn up sooner or later and for what? I don’t have a clue! Get better, please!” And then I had to leave, in case he could see my tears starting to roll out of my stupid dead eyes again. I needed to go to some calming place somewhere; I needed some space to think. The beach, oh the beach. What a fab idea! Beach bum, here I come!
Oh my God! This was the worst move I had ever taken. There they were, four of them... and Nana? Was that really Nana with them? What was she doing out here? Oh no! She was there too! Her… the disgusting creature – the chameleon girl, Michelle, big spider, whatever she was – posing as me again. They were all around the car, taunting and screaming. What was happening? I had to go for a look.
I recognised the car straight away and something told me, there was danger here. I saw the bonnet facing toward the ocean, so that whoever was in it could have a nice view of the waves, crashing in and pulling back. The car was parked pretty close to those calming waves, they looked dangerously close. What really struck me, at the same time as I registered just whose car it was, was the alkathene pipe that ran up from the tail end and had been stuffed in through the rear–door window. The window pane was wound up as high as it could go to hold it there. Oh no! That’s Auntie Annie’s car!
“Stop it! Stop it!” I ran at them like lightning in a rage!
“Ho ho! Look who we’ve got here! Get bored at the hospital, did you? Ha ha, and I got bored waiting for you to leave! I’ve found another toy to play with, since then. Oh, I believe you know her too! Such a shame really.” She had an evil coo in her voice.
“Just get away from her! Nana, what are you doing here?”
“Here for the show, like you dear.” What? That was not Nana! Her voice and her choice of words, was not Nana. Oh my god, another impostor!
“Who are you? What are you doing here?”
“I’m your Nana, remember, have you forgotten dear? It must have been that bump to your head, hmm?”
“You are not my Nana! Get away from my Auntie! What do you want with her?”
“Oh nothing, just reminding Annie how she had always been such a naughty girl. Oh, and when she peed her pants at school, when she was just six. Ha ha! And how everyone laughed at her, nothing special really. You know, I never loved my daughter Annie, she was always the black sheep. Yes, Annie do you hear me? You were never part of our family! Annie, are you listening to your mother dear? Ha ha! You were nothing, but a mistake! A mistake I tell you!”
“Shut up! Shut up! It’s not true!” I was tearing up, I needed to stop my stupid tears. I needed to show them I was stronger.
The evil chameleon spoke again, “And what are you going to do about it eh? Knock me aside, like you did at Jason’s place. It won’t work tonight honey, because your Auntie Annie chose to do this. She chose it!” The chameleon girl’s cackling laugh rang a hollow tune. “Oh Annie, listen to me. Yes, that’s right, he hates you too. Your stupid Albert, never loved you either, no one does! No one ever did!
“Good for you. Now you can show them just who’s the boss! Just breathe deep Annie, that’s it. Breathe deep. It will all pass away soon. All the bad memories will be gone.”
The others taunted her too, they were saying how she was rejected at school and they lied, about how no one loved her. They reminded her of all those who had teased her. It was horrible.
I rushed in amongst them, pushing them aside, I didn’t care what they might do to me. I had to stop them. “Auntie don’t do this! Get out of the car. Get out now! Damn it! Turn the key off. Do something!”
She suddenly murmured my name, as if she knew I was there, “Emma. Is that you?” Her speech was slurry. She had a cigarette in between her shaky fingers, it was nearly half–smoked away.
“Yes, it’s me Auntie. Listen, listen to me; you need to get out of the car. Get out of the car please. Now!” She took another drag on her cigarette, her soft hands were shaking even more by the time I finished talking. I didn’t even know that she smoked, perhaps she didn’t usually.
“Oh Mum, hello. What are you doing here? I thought I heard you before. Guess what, I don’t think much of you either Mum.” Auntie Annie’s voice was weak, very weak.
“Yes dear. Likewise, likewise.” She sure sounded similar to Nana and she did look like her. It wasn’t her though, that much I knew for sure. I could tell by the way she stood, the words she chose. They were all wrong.
“No Auntie, don’t say things like that. That woman is not your mother! She is not my Nana either. Please get out of the car. Please! PLEASE! She’s a liar Auntie, a liar! Don’t listen to her, please!” I tried to coo, I tried to be calm. I tried everything I could think of, which wasn’t very much. My attempt to wrench the pipe free did nothing; my ghostly hands couldn’t touch anything physical.
“Oh Emma. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. Please forgive me. I’m stupid. I’m sorry.” Her voice was softer now, she was finally realising just what she was doing to herself and the implications of it. What she had already done.
“No Auntie, don’t. Please don’t go. Get out now. Get out!”
“Tell them I’m sorry Emma dear. Please ask them to forgive me. Too weak, t’ weeeeaaaakkkk. Oh Jesus, please forgive me. I’m so stupid, so sorry. I feel cold. Cold. Forgive me.”
“Auntie!”
Auntie Annie was Dad’s youngest sister; she may have been a wee bit strange sometimes but she was funny. If anyone could make us laugh it was her. And I loved her for it. Once when I was staying at her house, she was really grumpy at my cousins and me. She literally threw the tomato sauce bottle at us. Boy, although it was no laughing matter at the time and sauce went everywhere: up the walls, across the floor, through the cupboards. We were all shocked into silence! It was like time had stopped and we didn’t know what to do. Suddenly she started to snicker, then she chuckled, before laughing out loud. Soon after that we all burst into true guttural laughter; the whole lot of us. Uncle Albert came in, wondering what all the laughter was about. Oh, it was so funny to see his face. Well, the rest of the day was great, we cleaned up all the mess and put the memory into our love banks.
But then suddenly, I just remembered something from my funeral. She was one of the few people that saw me – no, not me – her! Her, posing as me! Who does she think she is? Auntie Annie was one of those that saw her, pretending to be me, at my funeral. Yes, I remembered.
“Just stay there dear, for mother. Be a good little girl for once Annie. Don’t listen to silly Emma. It is me love, I’m over here. I don’t know who she is! I don’t think it’s Emma though, it can’t be – because she’s dead Annie, remember? She’s DEAD!” So are you, Nana. “It will be all over soon. Just wait, you’ll see. You’ll be free. FREE, ha ha! No one will hurt you annyymooreee. Ha ha ha ha!”
“Shut up! Shut up! Auntie Annie, don’t listen to them. Get out! Get out of the car now!”
“Oh Annie, it’s alright. No one loves you here anyway. They all hate you. Hate you! Come with us now, love.”
“No, they don’t hate you Auntie. That’s not true! Don’t listen to them. Auntie please... Auntie!” I screamed, I cried, I screamed some more and lashed out at those evil creatures, with my frenzied fists and nails. They laughed at me and at my Auntie Annie. They all just laughed!
Too late! The car was filled with the carbon monoxide fumes and the cigarette, still held lightly between my poor Auntie’s fingers, simply dropped down onto her other hand – her fingers were no–longer quivering fingers – they were dead fingers. The cigarette just sat there as still as a rock, between her middle and index fingers. The smell of her burning flesh lingered in the wispy smoke, which rose from her hand. It burned into her flesh like a hot poker, leaving a perfect little black circle on the back of it. No pain, her system had shut down; gone. Still they laughed, while I cried.
“There you are Emma. Oh, I am so sorry. So sorry.” My Auntie leaned over and gave me a hug, “You look so beautiful Emma.” My chest was tight as a drum, my face as hard as rock, weeping. My eyes were blurry from tears… and they laughed at us. Auntie brushed my red hair lightly with her gentle fingers and then ‘poof’, a flash of light took her.
The earth in front of them crumbled open, like a spade had been shoved up from underneath, and with the spade came many frightening, tortured screams; desperate screams which would have caused my non-existent skin to crawl.
My mind reverberated with horror and my eyes seemed to roll into the back of my head; retreating, trying to escape the god–awful sounds. And as they dropped down into the hole, I heard one of them mutter, “That one got away! Still, we’ll find some more.” That is when I saw their true forms, just as the pit was sealing up behind them. Their flesh had simply rolled off them, as they disappeared down into the earth. I knew that was not my Nana and I hadn’t known quite what the chameleon girl was – until then – now I did. Their forms were like what I saw within the mirrors: gaunt, thin, emaciated, holographical faces upon tortured skulls, jutting jaws and twisted black corpses. Identifiable characteristics personified, were their true forms: fear, hate, lust, violence and diablos. Out of the quartet of depravity the chameleon girl was ‘lust on steroids’.
Gentle fingers of light came down. They touched me again and said, “I love you Emma.” And then they were gone again. I stood gazing at my Auntie’s body, her empty shell. I thought, that’s not her anymore, but where has she gone? The waves beat against the sandy shore slowly, methodically. A beautiful tune rose up from the salt spray; it continued in spirals and wafted high into heaven.