Pregnant

Chapter 40

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Terra

“Stop! Let me go!” I shouted, twisting violently in Nathan’s bruising grip as he dragged me deeper into the shadowy woods. Behind us Collins lay groaning on the pine needles, face bloodied by Nathan’s savage temper.

At my furious struggles Nathan halted, chest heaving. His eyes still smouldered with irrational fury and possessiveness. I wrenched my throbbing arm free and stepped back warily, poised to flee or fight. But he made no move to recapture me.

“Why?” The hoarse whisper held oceans of torment. Nathan’s proud shoulders slumped defeatedly.

I hesitated, thrown by his swift shift from mindless violence to despair. But sympathy would only enable this dangerous pattern to repeat. “You attacked without cause or warning,” I bit out harshly. “Your temper is unstable, Nathan. I won’t expose the boys to it.”

He flinched as though struck, looking away. “You’re right to despise me,” he rasped. “I’m no fit parent or leader. Only an animal.” His hunched, wretched posture radiated genuine remorse and self–loathing. But damage was done. More bitter words clawed up my throat.

“I depended on you once too, before you threw me aside for polished pedigrees.” My voice shook with pent–up anguish. “Collins was the only one who helped me pick up the pieces after. He’s more family to me than you ever were.”

Nathan’s face contorted with fresh old wounds ripping open again.

agony at my

bald words. But he bore the accusations silently. I blinked back furious tears,

“The boys deserve so much better than you as a role model. Your volatility and obsession will cause only harm.”

Each harsh statement was a twisted knife plunging deep. But Nathan merely stared at the dark forest floor, defeated. “You’re right,” he repeated hollowly. “I’m a plague upon all near me.”

His self–flagellating words deflated my own toxic anger. Sickness festered yet in Nathan’s spirit, but raw honesty shone through now. Further driving the blade would serve no purpose except petty vengeance. I took a slow breath, searching for calm.

“We’ve both made grave mistakes, Nathan. The only path forward is learning compassion.” My voice gentled slightly. “Control your darkness. Prove yourself the patient father and wise Alpha they need.”

Cautiously I stepped closer, lifting his chin firmly until his anguished eyes met mine again. “I know that a noble wolf exists beneath the scars. Find him, for the boys‘ sake. And your own.”

Nathan searched my face desperately, seeming scarcely to believe redemption remained possible. “I swear to you, I will become worthy of them,” he rasped urgently. “Whatever it requires, even renouncing my title.” His reckless promise gave me pause. But actions would prove devotion far more than any words or vows now.

I released his chin and stepped back, my own turbulent emotions in tumult. Nathan wavered on his knees a moment before slowly rising. His ravaged expression reflected bone–deep exhaustion suddenly. This confrontation had purged us both.

“Return to your family, Nathan. Be the anchor and lighthouse they need, instead of the storm.” My quiet counsel felt inadequate for wounds so profound. But time’s salve worked slow and steady.

He nodded wearily, understanding our fragile truce rested upon what unfolded in the days after this reckoning. With immense effort he gathered the rags of his dignity. But his eyes yet pleaded wordlessly for a slim promise of redemption.

If you walk in the light, I will not deny your bond with the boys, I conceded carefully. “But it will take time rebuilding demolished trust.”

Hope flickered across Nathan’s ravaged face. “That is all I dare ask,” he rasped. “You show grace beyond worth.” He seemed to

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wrestle internally a moment before adding thickly, “No matter what comes, I will always cherish the gift you gave, however obliviously.”

My throat tightened at the oblique but unmistakable reference to the children sleeping unaware back at the estate. I simply nodded, unable to voice the roiling emotions. But understanding passed between us.

For a long weighted moment we regarded each other, equals now in pain and yearning for absolution. Then Nathan straightened and turned away without another word, shoulders set with grim determination into the wind. This stark reckoning marked a crossroads. Our roads converged briefly here. Where they led next remained to be travelled.

I watched until Nathan’s silhouette disappeared fully into the shadowy woods before making my own unsteady way back to where I had left Collins.

The confrontation had drained fury, leaving only weariness and dull relief. Closure and justice lived often only in myth. But clearing venom between us was essential for the boys to someday have a stable relationship with their father. However long that is required.

I found Collins slumped against a towering oak, gingerly probing his torn cheek. But he attempted a pained half smile at my approach. “Remind me not to get between you two again.” His weak jest barely concealed simmering anger. I laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“He’s gone now. Let’s get you cared for.” Collins tried waving off my concerns, but couldn’t quite hide winces as I helped him to his feet. My own bruised limbs screamed in protest, but that could wait.

Together we limped slowly from this haunted clearing bound painfully by old wounds and mistakes. But the poison at last felt lanced. Tomorrow is awaited.

Back at the estate, I quickly sutured Collins‘ cheek gash after disinfecting it, blinking back useless tears at his gruff reassurances. The foul temper I had suffered seemed even more egregious turned viciously on this kind guardian. But recriminations were pointless now. Setting it right was all that mattered.

“There, the worst is over,” I soothed after securing the bandage, keeping my tone low and calm despite the day’s chaos. “I’ll bring you a painkiller tea that should help you rest. Collins regarded me with his trademark mix of compassion and humour.

“I’m fine, stop fussing. It’s you that I’m worried about.” His rough hand covered my own, eyes searching. “Are you really alright?”

I attempted a wan smile. “I will be, in time. Just painfully reminded of the past’s lingering shadows.” His steady presence was balm, allowing me to admit vulnerability. Together we could face whatever darkness yet lingered.

Collins frowned, anger resurfacing. “If he ever tries hurting you again-”

I quickly squeezed his hand. “He didn’t truly harm me. We both said bitter things best left buried.” At Collins‘ sceptical look, I added gently, “Rage breeds only more rage. He walks in his own private hell already.”

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Collins slowly exhaled but nodded. “You’re right, as always. But I still say he doesn’t deserve you.” Pride warmed his tired eyes, kindling my own small smile. However painful Nathan’s demons, Collins‘ steadfast light yet shone undimmed. With him I could weather any storms.

Over the next few days a cautious new understanding settled between Nathan and I. We maintained a formal polite reserve when interacting, but no longer felt charged with barely suppressed hostilities. The abscess had drained, leaving us weary, vulnerable even. But oddly lighter without so much festering unspoken.

I supposed in some ways the violent confrontation had been necessary to purge our deepest bitterness. The poison between would likely never drain fully. But perhaps its power to overwhelm reason had been lanced. That was progress enough for

us

now.

Nathan seemed more tired and subdued when visiting the boys now rather than aggressively overcompensating his

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Chapter 40

devotion.

But he listened to them attentively, angerless patience replacing demands for their affection. And the boys gradually warmed to this gentler father. Their innocence sensed true change, however gradual.

Watching Nathan’s tender care with them reawakened almost maternal instincts protective of his damaged spirit.

Perhaps if we could maintain this cautious equilibrium, the good man I once knew as a stalwart friend could emerge again, forged by trials. His road was destined to remain difficult, shadowed by past stains. But having known darkness gave him wisdom to walk it humbly.

One afternoon while Nathan accompanied the boys on some adventure in the sun–dappled estate orchards, Collins joined me observing discreetly from the shaded windows. I was glad for his solid company. Trust would be hard–won between Nathan and I, and still the fruit fell far from the tree…

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“He seems to be improving, at least,” Collins commented neutrally as we watched Nathan laughing and joining some raucous game of chase. I sensed old resentment still simmered in his tone. My heart warmed anew – dear Collins had weathered so much at my side through the years. I knew he held no personal grudge towards Nathan despite the violent history, only protectiveness for my sake and the boys. His integrity shone like an unwavering beacon. I was forever blessed beneath its light.

Impulsively I wrapped both arms around one of his large sturdy ones, leaning into his strength.

Collins blinked down in surprise but quickly returned my fierce unexpected embrace. We maintained that tight comforting contact for a long moment.

However slow Nathan’s path to redemption, with steadfast Collins here hope could take root and blossom from the ashes, His faith sustained me.

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