My Sister's Boyfriend

"Yes, Igor is the father of my baby. I stankened, the blood running from my face. Millions of things going through my head, dates, words, our conversations, our moments, our touches last night and thinking of Igor sharing all this with Cecilia... It was absolutely wrong. It hammered into my head with a frightening intensity. I took a deep breath, controlling myself. The sounds slowly fading away. So, there was nothing.

"I didn't know they'd gone this far. I said, my voice cold.

-I... I've always... I wanted to, and I tried everything. Until you get it. I loved him... But... I... I didn't want to. I swear. She stammered, gesticulating. His eyes were bloodshot and red, but I felt no pity. All I could think was that she had him before me, that she had a child of his, that I was losing him again!

-How long? I pointed with my chin to her belly.

"Since we broke up. About three months? She looked at me, waiting for a reaction from me. I remained silent, biting my lip. We stared at each other in that sepulchral silence for minutes, or hours. I don't know. Until my phone rings. I didn't have to look at the viewfinder to know who it was. The tears were already flowing. The phone rang again and I hung up. He said, without looking at Ceci:

- When are you going to count?

"For him?" She widened her eyes nervously.

-Clear. And for our mother, I think...

-No! I can't. I saw the fear in her eyes, as well as her despair. But I was not moved; I didn't even care. It was catatonic.

"At some point someone will notice.

"Do you think Igor will... Assume?

-Will. I smiled wryly, I didn't even have to think much to know that, I knew him enough to know.

"But he forgot everything.

"He remembered, he remembered everything. "And yet he hadn't told me that he had slept with my sister. Okay it was before we got together, but... It didn't stop me from hurting. That it would crush me. -Everything?

"Yes, including you. "Including me. Including us. Everything, everything... - He'll take over. After all, he's Igor.

- I'm sorry, Malu.

- Have you become pregnant? Lose your youth? I know you regret that.

"I didn't mean to spoil you and Igor. I-I'm sorry, I'd like to do something and... Tears fell from his eyes effortlessly and I struggled against the lump in my throat. "I don't know what to do. My God, what do I do?

"I told you, tell them. End. -End? It's not that easy...

"For me it is. This is not my story. -How?

"Come to think of it, it's my story too. It's a story of those who get screwed. And in the end it's always me. I lose the guy I love, I lose my family to change, not to mention my best friend. I should have known, from the first fight, from the first kiss... That Igor and I weren't meant to be together. How much I would have saved. What a tear. How much suffering. And all because I was stupid. Because I let the dice roll. I found more and more reasons to fall in love. And even though I was full of reasons, I couldn't give up... - I looked at Ceci, trying to understand it all. Feeling almost like exploding. The words were directed more at me than at her. "What's the use of loving a person, tell me?" If in the end you're just going to suffer and end up? Why am I going to love someone I'm going to lose in the end? What's the fun of loving, anyway? Love is just a quickest way to eternal death of ourselves. 'Cause I'm dead! I feel dead. That shit! Just when it looks like everything is going to work out... It's all over. It's the end, you know? That story is no longer mine. It's yours and Igor's. Of how you're going to deal with it.

I burst into tears, staring at my quick logic. I couldn't avoid the mistakes, the past, and now the consequences of it. It wasn't about me and Igor anymore. I would be a mere spectator of his and Ceci's battle. It wasn't necessary to think about it too much, bang my head, insist on it and make a mistake to know that it was all over. It was over when we kissed each other goodbye and said, "I love you." Right there it ended.