Mate ...s ?!?!

[Jace’s POV]

Orion’s words stunned me into silence all while breaking my heart. There was no excuse I could give him for leaving him alone. We didn’t even have the balls to tell him why we were leaving. We had just spoken to each other mentally and left. It had been so stupid of us but something Jax and I had done so many times before without conscious thought, that neither one of us had even noticed we hadn’t spoken out loud.

Before Orion came in our lives, Jax and I handled things between us Telepathically, it had just made things so much simpler for us to keep things between us without everyone listening in on our conversations. Now by only depending on each other, we had hurt the only other person who could love us unconditionally. The only person that could keep the two of us from going truly insane, and we hurt him badly.

That was a blow to the very soul. Guren whimpered in my head as I felt him shrink into the darkness of our mind. ‘Fix …’ came his soft-spoken plea for me to at least try to do something to save this relationship. I quieted him, making him pay attention to our mother. We needed to observe right now. Take in everything that was going on around us but more importantly what was happening with our mother and Mate.

I watched my mother with him and was shocked to see that she handled him a lot like Cassie had done. Almost rocking him gently without picking him up. She had let him make his own choices, spoken more than softly to him and above anything she always spoke like he was the most important thing in that moment. Like whatever he had to say was more important to her than anything else. In the beginning I thought she was being dramatic but whenever she was Orion’s eyes lit up and he was happy at her actions and it made me realize that her being that way was making him calm down and become comfortable around her flashy movements and his demeanor was less flighty.

I knew Jax was watching them just as intently as I was. The two of us were trying to figure a way to hold our Mate when he became like this without scaring him. We were still much bigger than our own mother and it helped him get used to her because they were basically the same size. With us not so much. We needed to figure out how to get him used to our size and have him be comfortable with us too. We understand why he had thrown his fit, Orion had thrown his fit because we had hurt him, like seriously hurt him. Now we had to do anything to make it right.

I got down on the floor, leaning up against the wall, across the room from Orion and mom. Jax came to sit next to me, a sad sigh escaping him as he settled next to me. He looked so lost and I knew I shared the same look. We had really messed this up and Orion had been scared he was the one who was going to mess this up when it had been the two of us. We had gone back on our word and we need to figure out how to fix all of this before Orion really did leave us.

‘We need to back off for a little bit.’ Jax thought sadly as he watched mom get Orion back to a happier state of mind. She was teaching Orion how to braid her extra-long hair, his little fingers knotting her silky long hair getting them both to giggle.

Without us.

’No, we need to make sure he knows we never meant to hurt him. That this is all our fault and that he was never to blame for any of this. We have been so used to just doing things on our own that we had forgotten our Mate.′ I thought, my mind just as sad and just as aggravated with our actions. We screwed up and now we needed to own our fuck up. Orion needed to know we were more than sorry for this.

‘What do you suggest?’ Jax questioned as he leaned back some more against the wall. I could feel his sadness as he leaned next to me against the wall.

’We mimic mom and Cassie. They let him do all the moving and mom has been praising him since she got here. When we tried to do it, we only got shit thrown at us. We only tried to make him come to us. They have been letting him come to them at his own pace.′ I thought. ‘We were acting like Alpha’s we are, not like caring the Mates we should be and it’s costing us. We went back to our old ways and depended on only ourselves again and now we have sent him into this state. We need to let him come to us.’ I added as I kept a close eye on my Mate and mother.

The need to just take him in my arms was over taking me and it was more than could really handle to just look at them. I wanted to just get up and take Orion from her and leave with Jax. I never wanted anyone to see Orion again. I wanted him to ourselves. I wanted to hide away with both of my Mates and get to a spot where Orion trusted Jax and I to never leave him. He needed to know that we only wanted to keep him safe. However, I knew that if I did that Orion would never trust us ever again.

We had wanted to protect him and in doing so we had inadvertently hurt him. If Cara had seen his face, she would have tried to attack him. I couldn’t let that happen and I knew Jax couldn’t either. We hadn’t meant to push him away but that was what he thought we had done and now he was cuddled up with our mom as she soothed him. I was so jealous of my mom right now and I couldn’t do anything at all in that moment.

“Orion?” Jax called out softly, trying to get his much deeper voice to sound like a cooing noise.

Orion’s head shot in our direction and his face fell at the sight we had made by the door. He whimpered a little as he leaned into mom again. He didn’t like the way we looked but he didn’t want to come near us. At least not yet.

Mom giggled a little, “Oh little star, don’t you worry about anything. They could never really hurt you little one. Those two would do anything for you.” she said, her voice kind and warm.

Orion looked up at her curiously before turning his questioning gaze to us. “Of course, we would.” I said with a small smile. Needing him to know that we really would do just about anything for him.

“We love you so very much.” Jax added, still not making a single move forward. No matter how much he wanted to.

“W-why d-did you l-leave?” Orion asked softly making a move to be at least a little closer to us.

I guess his child mind needed to hear the truth as well as his adult mind and we were more than happy to tell him. As many times as he needed to hear it. As many times as he asked us the answer would always be the same. We needed to keep him safe and that was the most important thing to us.

“Oh, sweet little starburst, we were afraid you would get hurt. The female that was at our door is not a very good one.” Jax said seriously, his voice still just as soft as it was seconds ago. He was trying to coax Orion closer to us.

“She’s a bad Wolf?” he asked getting a giggle from mom while he looked at us, his head tilted to the left a little in curiosity.

“That’s one way to put it little one. We only wanted to protect you sweet star.” I said my body begging me to reach for him. Thankfully I was able to hold myself back. I didn’t want to send him into another tantrum or freak him out.

I could never imagine the things his family put him through and I don’t think I ever wanted to try. I had seen the scars on his body when we had made love to him that first night, and every night after that. I had wanted to scream and rage but I had been far too preoccupied. The image of his naked body writhing under me not helping me nor my twin at the moment so I quickly rid myself of all those thoughts.

It was hard as fuck.

‘Stop it!!’ Jax growled in my head getting me to sit up a little straighter.

“Y-you wanted t-to keep m-me s-safe?” Orion’s question was so soft and timid that if we were not Wolves, I doubt we would have ever heard him. He has a bad habit of talking very low. Almost trying to keep his words to himself while still answering us.

“We will always want to keep you safe. We love you.” I said before Jax could open his big mouth again. He was talking more for us and I wanted to make sure Orion knew it wasn’t just him who felt this way.

I had no idea how Orion’s mind worked while he was in his ‘little’ space but I would spend every day with him like this just to learn. I wanted him to look to me and Jax for comfort not others. It wasn’t even about the Alpha ego Jax and I shared. It was the feeling of inadequacy that plagued our very souls.

Like we were his but not really loved by him. He had kept us at arm’s length every moment he could until he couldn’t fight against himself anymore and he had slipped into his ‘headspace’. That was not what Jax and I wanted from this relationship. We wanted him happy with us. We wanted him to choose to go into his ‘little’ space with us.

Orion leaned into mom, whispering something between themselves before Orion looked over at us again. There was a smile in his eyes and I felt a spark of hope in my heart.

“Don’t hide from me, please.” he said, his voice pleading with us as he stood slowly and walked towards us. His eyes and movement wary of what we would do at his approach. He was making sure we were not about to jump on him. Orion was testing us and we were not going to fail this one.

Jax and I stilled. We wanted him to come to us, beyond anything in this world but we had to wait for him to do the moving. This time we needed him to come to us but it had to be his choice or all of this was for nothing. If we moved from our spots he would back away and not trust us to let him do things on his own.

He came over to us slowly, making sure we were not about to jump him. I could see his hesitation but he was also very confident that we wouldn’t attack him. It hurt to see him acting like that but it was understandable. He had been through so much. We exuded dominance in his child eyes and while normally he enjoyed it, right now it scared him. We were going to show him we could be calm for him. We could settle ourselves enough to treat him right. To be soft enough for him and still strong enough to keep him safe.

“Why me?” He asked softly, as he sat in front of us, mom silently leaving. I could tell that she didn’t want Orion to see her leave. She was silent as she left, closing the door behind her, just as quietly.

“You are important to us.” Jax said with a smile. I could see his hands twitching with the need to hold Orion. I couldn’t blame him. I needed to do the same damn thing and we just had to sit there not doing anything until Orion moved for us.

“But why? I don’t understand how I could be important to anyone. I am so small and not strong like everyone else.” Orion said fresh tears glazing his eyes over. He had been told so many times in his life that to be worth anything you had to be strong and he just couldn’t imagine being worth anything because he just could never be as physically strong as the others.

“Sweet little star, to us you are our very breath.” I said getting a curious look from him. Hmm, guess the ‘littles’ didn’t get that one. “I suppose it would be better for you to understand if you knew what I was talking about huh.” I said getting an angelic giggle from Orion as he scooted closer to us.

“Do you mean that I am yous … lifes??” Orion asked as he got even closer. His curiosity getting to him and making him want to know more.

“That’s right. That’s what Jace meant. You are our life and we would be nothing without you.” Jax replied instantly.

“B-but w-why me? I-I’m no good. I’m worthless and not fit to have nice stuff.” Orion countered, his little brain trying to follow our train of thought when he had been conditioned to only think a certain way.

To his blood relatives he was trash. To Jax and I he was the whole world and everything in it. There was nothing that would take his place and it was never going to work if the two of us didn’t fix this.

“Little one, you were chosen for us. The Goddess picked you out of everyone else, to make the two of us beyond happy. She plucked her favorite little star right out of the sky and made you just for us.” I said slowly, reaching out to him. Needing him to understand our need for him and not knowing any other way other than for him to feel our emotions through touch.

I was just trying to emulate mom and it was seemingly working. He could see that we were not trying to push him into coming to us, that we wanted him to come to us on his own time. Orion’s little hand reached out for me, but pulled back, scared of what might happen. Not sure if he could trust us just yet.

I looked over to Jax who had a hidden smile in his eyes as he watched Orion overcome his hesitation. It took him a few moments but when the little star made his mind up, he stuck his soft hand into mine. I was more than happy; his warmth quickly chasing away every doubt I ever had. His touch quickly reminded me of how wrong I had been. I knew he was the one for me and the harsh words I had once spoken now hurt me as well. He was everything that Jax and I weren’t.

We weren’t soft and tender. We didn’t bend and give when it was new. We never backed down from a fight and sometimes we had actually started a few of them. Orion on the other hand was everything gentle in this world. He was the soft breeze in the summer air, the gentle touch of water in a light rain, and so much more.

Orion smiled at me and then reached for Jax who happily took his little hand into his much bigger one. “Don’t keep me in the dark.” he said before he pulled on us to stand. “I want to know everything.” he added as we stood and towered over his much smaller body. Orion was trying to prove to us that he wasn’t scared of us anymore but that he wanted to know more about why we had done what we had.

“As our little star commands.” I said happily as I moved to bring him against me. Just holding him close, so he could see that we were safe. That he could always be safe with us.

Jax wrapped his arms around us both and lifted us, carrying us to the bed where he just fell backwards, pulling both Orion and I onto his chest. Orion was giggling and I was grinning like a fool but I loved both of my boys. My Mates. I never wanted things to go back to the way they were I was far too happy now.