Mate ...s ?!?!

[Jaxson’s POV]

A week. A fucking week I had to wait for my little Mate to wake up and tell me that not only is he the biological son of our Goddess but that he has special ‘abilities’. I wanted to scream to the Heavens to the Goddess herself to tell me why she had taken him from me just to tell him all of that. I would have thought that being our Goddess she could have come to him and just told him all of that.

Orion was in a coma for a full week for what he said was a five-minute conversation between him and his mother. Now I am never going to deny him the opportunity to know his mother but damn it. That shit worried the fuck out of me and Jace. We had no idea what was going on and he had looked so pale. It was more than enough to drive the both of us insane from worry.

Our parents had tried to keep us out of the infirmary like last time but it had not worked. Jace and I were not going to leave Orion this time. Hayle had to even put me under for a few hours because I had started to destroy things in the infirmary wing. I was beyond calming down and beyond help. I wanted all of this shit to stop, but had a bad feeling that all of this was just the beginning.

I felt little fingers pulling at me and looked down to see the worried eyes of my Omega Mate. Well, I guess he’s not really an Omega after all. He’s a god.

“Jax?” Orion called to me, worry in his soft voice as he pulled me from my dismal thoughts.

“I’m sorry little one, I was just thinking. I’m fine.” I said smiling down at him and pulling him against me. He still fit so perfectly against me. I had missed this feeling so fucking much.

Rain was massive in size but not Orion. He had stayed the same small size. They had explained that because Orion and Rain are the sons of the Goddess, they are actually Alphas but having been beaten for most of their mortal life Orion had felt the need to stay small. He felt safe that way, while Rain needed to be his normal size. They had explained that because Rain needed to not only keep them healed but keep them safe, he needed to be their normal size.

Orion’s hands went to my face pulling my gaze down to his, making me look fully into his eyes. He was more than worried about me and it showed in his gaze as he looked at me. I felt bad. I wanted to tell him that I was all right but I wasn’t. Not even close.

“I want to say I’m ok but I can’t. Your mother just took you from me for a week and there was not a damn thing I could do about it.” I said seriously. I had no reason to keep my feelings from him. He was still learning to trust us after all and hiding things from him would not help us.

Orion smiled at me, “If it helps you feel any better, I am not very happy about it either.” he said, leaning into my chest, letting me wrap my arms around him.

“Jace and I are supposed to keep you safe. It is our job as your Mates. It is our Honor to keep you safe because we love you more than our own lives, but we could do nothing to stop this. While I am more than happy to know that Cilla is not your true mother, I would have appreciated a warning.” I said, beginning to ramble about this for the thousandth time.

Jace had listened to me ramble for hours about how robbed we had been of a weeks’ worth of time. “I am more than angry with my mother Jax. I understand what you are saying, but you have to understand that while I was speaking to her, Rain was healing my Human body.” Orion said, getting me to look at him curiously, Mate say what now?

“I understand but I don’t.” Jace said from the other side of the room. He had backed off, letting Orion and I be close and kept himself on the other side of the room because I had been so angry. I had pushed him away. Again. Damn it. “We never felt your pain Orion. You have been Marked by the both of us and neither one of us felt even an ounce of your pain until you passed out.” Jace said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Those kids were just angry that Kin wasn’t around anymore.” Orion said, trying to defend someone not worth defending.

“Kinder, does not deserve your kindness.” I said trying not to be angry about it.

“No, but he will get it regardless. Rouges became so because they were pushed away from their families and Packs. They were told they were not good enough for one reason or the other and then when they do something to prove themselves, they are shunned and turned into Rouges by being Banished from their Packs. On the off-hand that a Wolf truly does go insane that is another situation but as for those that just become Rouges because they are pushed from their Packs are no different from me or you.” Orion said seriously as he moved to reach for Jace, holding onto me very tightly.

Jace moved to place his hand in Orion’s making sure to keep an eye on my movement. I knew he was watching me because I had been so unstable for the past week. I couldn’t blame him in the least but damn that look hurt a little. I needed to stop being hostile with him. He was my Mate too. He was so afraid of my attitude that he didn’t want to come near me.

“I’m sorry Jace.” I whispered reaching out for them both, getting both Orion and Jace to look at me curiously. “I have not been the best Mate or brother for the past week, have I? Hell, I’m sure for much longer than that. I am only part of a bigger thing and without the two of you I am lost. I have been so wrapped up in my own head without Orion around for the past week that I have not been paying much attention to you at all have I? I am so very sorry my love.” I said, reaching for my twin brother and Mate. I am so shamed by myself.

The two of us had been together for so long that it had been like breathing to see him next to me every moment of the day. When he was not there, I didn’t really notice it, I never noticed it because I had depended on him to never leave me. During Orion’s coma, we had gotten into an argument and Jace had left me alone for three days before I even caught his scent again. I had lost one Mate to the Goddess’ magic and another to my own mouth and need to just be left alone. It had been beyond torture. I had dug my own grave and I was the only one to blame for it.

“Jax, I get it I do but you were not the only one lost without Orion and Rain around. You were not the only one who was struggling with his absence. Guren and I were just as lost, just as hurt. You forgot us again and I don’t know if I will be able to keep ignoring that. You have been going through this thing by yourself and this has got to stop. You need to stop thinking that you are alone in this. You are not alone and for the last time you need to remember that we are together in this!” Jace said getting my face to fall and for Orion to pull him close. They were both crying, and holding each other close. They were supporting each other again, without me. Again. I was being left out. Again. And again, I had done it all to myself.

I let out a whimper, like an actual whimper, and just sat on the floor, head in my hands. I was lost. Something I have not felt in a very long time. I had lost everything I had fought for. I was beyond losing myself. I had pushed away my twin but not only was he my brother he was my Mate and I had taken advantage of that many times before and he was finally calling me out on it. Our lives flashed before my eyes and I felt more than just a little guilty. He had finally given up on me and my foolishness. He had finally called me out on my stupidity and I was trying to own it but I was having problems with it.

I buried my face in my hands and whimpered again, “I haven’t been the best of anything to either of you and I’m sorry.” I said as I stood and just walked out of the room. I needed some time to think.

Alone.