Light My Fire

Thank God I’m back to work.

I love my job, but it’s rare that the first day back after a great vacation is my favorite. This time it’s different. I was so damned happy when my alarm went off and woke me up from the dream about Brooke, and I was thrilled to immediately get called to a small structural fire.

After that, we were called to a possible heart attack at a local nursing home. Then we were only back for about thirty minutes when we were called out again to the scene of a three car accident.

I actually wish we could have been even busier. Because every fucking free moment I have, I’m thinking about Brooke. Missing her. Wondering what she’s doing and how she is. Is she thinking about me? Us? If she is thinking about our weekend together? If so, what is she thinking? How is she feeling? Is she okay? It was a very intense weekend, and I miss her, and wish like hell I could call and just hear her voice. I also want to check on her. Physically, it was a lot. Emotionally, it was really a lot.

But I haven’t even texted her. Not once. Okay, I’ve typed out texts four times, but I haven’t sent them.

She has her big exams and I don’t want to distract her.

Besides, we left it with a goodbye. We made no plans. She didn’t say, ‘call me’, or ‘text me.’ And she sure hasn’t texted me.

She wanted all three of us. That made it pretty clear that she wasn’t looking for dinner and movie dates with just me.

I’d rather keep the fun, hot as hell, awesome memories from the cabin than make anyone reject anyone else.

“Doherty, you got my back here, right?”

My attention is pulled back to my present situation.

We’re back at the firehouse, and it’s been a couple of hours since our last call. We’re all lounging in the common area with the Racketeers hockey game on TV, and delicious smells coming from the kitchen.

Luke is cooking. And he’s fucking making spaghetti with meat sauce and garlic bread. The fucker.

He couldn’t make literally anything else? I know it’s one of the easiest things to make for a big group, and everyone loves his meat sauce. But we just fucking had it at the cabin. And of course it has me thinking about our weekend. Surely he is too. Right? How could he not? Yeah, he’s made it a million other times, but the most recent time was in Minnesota. With Brooke. How could he not think about her?

And if he’s not thinking about her, could he fucking tell her that and then she could get over her crush on him and just want to date me?

“You agree with me, right?” Jason Rasmussen asks me.

I have no idea what they’re talking about. “Rarely,” I say dryly.

He laughs. “Tucker says Alexsei Ryan is going to be as good as Crew McNeill. No fucking way. Am I right?”

I look at Tucker. “No way,” I agree. “Ryan is awesome. And he works his ass off. And him and McNeill together are magic. But he won’t ever be as good as McNeill.”

“Statistically he’s just as good,” Tucker argues. “Give him more experience and he’ll be right there with McNeill.”

I shake my head. “He’s one of the best in the league, and he’ll go down as one of the best in history. But McNeill is a natural. He doesn’t even have to try. The guy was born to be a hockey player. You just don’t get players like that more than once in a generation.”

“We should all just be grateful that we have them both on our team,” Rasmussen says.

We all nod. That’s the truth.

“Fuck!” Tucker suddenly shouts.

We all look at the television. Justin Travers, the star player for the Dallas Dragons, just scored on the Racketeers.

“Goddammit!” Tucker exclaims. “This new goalie is a piece of shit. Why the fuck did Wilder have to retire?”

The name Wilder seems to punch me in the gut.

God, I miss that girl.

It hasn’t even been thirty-six hours and I feel like I’m going crazy.

I glance toward the kitchen at Luke’s back. I wonder, for the twentieth time, if he’s thinking about her. And if so, what he’s thinking.

We haven’t talked about her. Jackson and I haven’t either. He’s been texting us about the dogs, and I love that. I’ve loved every photo he’s sent, and love that my friend is suddenly a dog dad. At the same time, though, every photo reminds me of her. The dogs, of course, but the glimpses of the cabin as well.

I shove a hand through my hair. Fuck, I’m so messed up.

“Hell yeah!” Tucker suddenly exclaims.

I turn back, expecting to see that the Racketeers have scored. Instead, I see something better. Elise Starling is crossing the room with a bakery box.

Actually, it’s Elise Starling-Wilder. Elise is married to Blake Wilder, the Racketeers ex-goalie. She also is best friends with Crew McNeill’s sister, who owns a bakery.

But even better, she’s dating our lieutenant, Aidan Burke. And that means she stops by occasionally when he’s working. And she never comes without a bakery box from Books and Buns.

I grin, but as she’s greeted by the rest of the firefighters and someone yells, “Burke! Your girl’s here!” it hits me that Elise is Brooke’s sister-in-law.

And I am again crushed by a wave of missing the sweet virgin who fucking rocked my world.

She’s not a virgin anymore.

Of course, that thought follows directly after.

Along with the memories of all the things that made her very much not a virgin anymore.

I’m scowling at the coffee table when Elise stops in front of me with the open bakery box, displaying the assortment of cookies, eclairs, and macarons she’s brought for us.

“Hi, Wyatt.” She gives me a bright smile.

I look up at her and wonder how often she and Brooke talk. Do they text periodically? Have they gotten to the point of being really good friends along with sisters-in-law? Elise is great and Brooke is amazing. Surely they get along really well. Does Elise know how Brooke is? Did Brooke tell Elise that she was stuck with us? Would she tell Elise she’s not a virgin anymore? And how that happened?

Elise snaps her fingers in front of my face.

“What? Sorry,” I tell her, forcing myself to focus.

“I asked if you wanted something,” she says, jiggling the box. She frowns. “Are you okay?”

I am so not okay. “Yeah. Fine. Why?”

“Because I’ve been standing here in front of you holding a box of sweets, dressed like this—” she gestures down her body with one hand.

I finally notice the form fitting, pink pinup dress with the black polka dots that really does make her look stunning.

Elise is a gorgeous woman, and the fact that she has a husband and two boyfriends is actually no surprise. Besides being a knockout, she’s funny, bright, sassy, and sexy as hell. It doesn’t surprise me that she’s got enough personality and heart for three men.

“You look fantastic,” I tell her.

She props her hand on her hip. “I know. And you haven’t even hinted at flirting with me. You always flirt with me.”

She’s right. Even though the first time I ever met her it was her boyfriend, my lieutenant, introducing us. I mostly do it to poke at him, but Elise is very fun to flirt with.

Which is just one more sign that I am beyond messed up over Brooke.

Aidan comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back against his body. He nuzzles her neck, making her giggle. “What is this I hear about Doherty flirting with you?”

“He’s not,” Elise says, pouting slightly. “Can you believe that?”

Aidan looks at me over her shoulder. “Maybe he’s finally learning that he needs to leave my stuff alone.”

She tips her head back and looks up at him. “I’m your stuff?”

“Well, mine, Blake’s, and Simon’s,” he tells her.

“I was actually protesting the term stuff,” she says with an eye roll.

Watching them, I feel a stab of jealousy. Aidan gets to have the love of his life, along with his two best friends.

Actually, Simon, his husband, might be the love of his life. But that would make Blake and Elise his best friends, which totally tracks. Either way, he has the three people he loves most in his life in every way. In his home, in his bed, no worries about someone being left out, or someone being jealous or upset. No one going without one of the other people they love and want and need.

That’s actually really awesome.

And of course, Brooke is firmly front and center of my mind again.

As if she ever left.

But I’m also thinking about Jackson and Luke. And their feelings for her. And hers for them.

“Oh my God,” Elise says.

I look up, realizing that I’ve spaced out again.

She’s watching me with a glint in her eye.

“What?” Aidan asks.

“He still hasn’t flirted with me, and he hasn’t taken anything out of this bakery box,” Elise says, clearly talking about me, even though I am sitting right here.

“Do you know what that means?” she asks Aidan, looking right at me.

“What?” Aidan asks.

“He’s hung up on a girl.”

I stare at her. Aidan stares at me.

I consider denying it for about five seconds, then I sigh.

Elise laughs softly. “Not going well?”

“I’m pretty crazy about her, but I’m not sure how she feels. And I haven’t told her that I want to see her again.”

Elise widens her eyes. “Wyatt Doherty, you are a catch. Call that girl and tell her what you’re thinking.”

I resist the urge to look in Luke’s direction. “It’s a little complicated.”

Elise nods. “Yeah, you really like her.”

“Complicated is the sign of real love?” I ask.

“Love seems like the most complicated thing in the world in the beginning,” she says. I notice she squeezes Aidan’s hands where they are splayed over her stomach. “Until you fall into it with the right person or people. Then it becomes the easiest thing you’ve ever done.”

“So the fact that this is complicated might mean that this isn’t right?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “It just means that your brain hasn’t caught up with your heart yet.”

Aidan kisses her neck and says gruffly, “I think maybe we need to go… talk in my sleeping quarters for a minute.”

Elise laughs and takes his hand, starting in the direction of the private rooms, where we all sleep when we can.

“If you talk, it better be dirty, and whatever comes with it better take you more than a minute,” she tells him sassily. “Or I’ll make you watch your husband make it up to me.”

I hear Aidan give her a little growl before they move out of earshot.

And yeah, that whole exchange with them wasn’t all that helpful.

Because now I have to face the fact that I probably really am in love with Brooke Wilder.

And there are two other men who might have something to say about that.

And I might actually want to hear what they have to say.