Harlow

Harlow's POV

Today was take two of getting my tattoo to honour the twins I had lost. It had been 6 months since Hendrix kidnapped me and my body was fully healed. My mind was a different story though and I was plaqued with nightmares of what had happened that day, each time though it was either Toby who died with me watching on or me actually killing Hendrix. I was seeing someone weekly to help but the nightmares continued. I found it wasn't as bad if I was sleeping next to someone.

Toby and I were officially together so I was only allowed to stay at Toby's house two times in a week. He was allowed to stay with me twice a week as well. The other days I would bounce from sleeping next to Leo, my dad or Kody. We had moved houses so I was no longer at my childhood house which held painful memories. Cameron, dad and Leo lived there with me. Kody moved in with Mac and Owen and I stayed there once a week and had my own room. Kody would crash with me when I was there and I felt bad but he assured me that it was fine and so did Mac.

The twins moved back to there own place and would come and visit but we really didn't have a close relationship. They had there own lives and were often travelling to the different shops they owned. We kept in touch via text mainly. Cameron was the same even though we lived under the same roof. He still thought Dean wasn't at fault for hooking up with Katie because he was drugged and voiced his opinion on that often. I got he was drugged but what he did after was also a problem and Cameron couldn't see that defending him because he was trying to fix things. It was best we just stayed away from each other. I could see that hurt him but he didn't seem to get I was hurt by what Dean had done to contribute to me losing my baby. I knew deep down that he wasn't at fault and neither was I because there was always a chance I would actually lose the baby anyway and I had spoken to my counsellor about it. But still I felt that with the way things were handled after was wrong.

My father stepped up a lot, he worked daily to mend his and my relationship and build the trust again. He didn't run from the issue and owned it entirely. Hendrix was in prison and had pled guilty the very first time he appeared in court. He was now on medication for schizophrenia. He apologised profusely in court apparently but I wasn't there and didn't have to appear at all because he had admitted to what he had done. I didn't want to ever see him again. He had sent letters to me which I hadn't opened. My counsellor had said reading them may help with the healing but I wasn't ready for that. I still felt ashamed that I had stabbed my brother even though I didn't have a choice. The counsellor was holding onto the letters so we could read them together when I was ready. I didn't think there would come a time that I would ever be ready to hear what Hendrix had to say at all. I got he couldn't help it but that didn't change what he had done to me. I lived it over and over again.

Leo and I were really close, he had been there for me no matter what I was going through including when I tried to push them all away. He would drop anything and everything to get me out when I needed space. He often took off with me for a night because he saw how overwhelmed I was with everything. He would cop the backlash for it but would always stand by doing what was best for me no matter who he pissed off for doing it. He enrolled me in online classes because I had missed so much school and didn't want to go back where people who ask questions. Toby was now working with his dad so no longer attended school. Leo would help me any time I needed it and encourage me every day to try my best.

"Hey babe you ready?" Toby asked coming into my room. I smiled and nodded my head. Toby was driving me to get my tattoo, he was getting his first tattoo today but wouldn't tell we what. Jax was going to be doing his for him. His parents had agreed to allow him to do it seeing he would be turning 18 in a few weeks and would get it done then anyway. I walked over to Toby giving him a quick peck on the lips only to be pulled back. "Nope proper kiss or we don't go" Toby replied. I wrapped my arms around his back pulling his head down and jumped up wrapping my legs around his waist. He caught me putting his hands under my bum and I kissed him like it was the last time we would see each other. After about a minute I pulled away and unwrapped my legs leaving Toby stunned before walking towards the door. "Harlow that's so unfair, you shouldn't start something you can't finish" he whined and walked towards me adjusting himself with me laughing at him. "I'll get you back for that" he said before we headed to the car.

We made it to the shop and Jett took me into his room while Jax took Toby. My tattoo was going to take a three hour sitting because of the detail that went into it. It was on my hip going down on to the top of my hip. It hurt a little and I needed to stop half way to eat something sugary to stabilise my blood sugar but then I was good to go. I wanted it finished today. Once I was done, Jett wrapped it up and cleaned his space before we headed out to find Toby and Jax. They were sitting in the front of the studio talking. When they saw us Toby stood up coming towards me "show me" he said and I lifted my skirt showing him the tattoo which was covered with a clear dressing. "Now you" I replied.

Toby lifted his sleeve showing me his tattoo on his forearm which was also covered in a clear dressing. There on his arm was my name. "Toby" I said. "Harlow no matter what, you can't get rid of me. I'll be in your life forever and this is just to remind you and everyone else that you will always come first" he told me. I pulled him into a kiss, I had no words to say to him. "Umm no PDA's in the studio thank you" Jett said. I smiled kissing Toby on the lips again. "Don't kiss my sister like that or I'll tattoo a dick on your head" Jax bit out and I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh he is serious" Jett replied. I pulled away from Toby smiling. I didn't know what the future had install for me but I knew Toby always had my back no matter what and I had his too. Toby was my best mate and the guy I loved more than myself, I would die for him and I knew he would die for me too.