Elegi Of Rose

"I'm sleeping in my room tonight," Ayu blurted out later that night. She didn't want him to think she was that easy after everything that happened between them-as great as it was.

"I was afraid you'd say that," Roy said, blowing out a breath. They were sitting side by side on a wooden lawn bench at the back of the house with a glass of wine, just chilling out and looking at the stars. She didn't comment. She stayed silent because she honestly didn't know what to say.

At the corner of her eye, she felt him change his position to face her. "Do you think I'm thinking you're easy?"

Shit, he's good. "Who would sleep with someone she barely knows?" She was accusing herself when she said that.

"Yu," his hand went to rest under her chin and urged her to face him. She did and she reluctantly met his eyes. They were talking about it tonight, great. She had hoped it would not be that soon. "That thought never crossed my mind." "But it did cross mine. I don't know, I just thought it was too fast. And it shouldn't have happened anyway. We are not really married like a real couple to do such a thing in the first place."

"You're saying you regret it?" his voice sounded hurt and when she finally took the courage to look into his eyes, she saw that he was looking at her with anxiety. It almost startled her to see him with that expression because it was not like him at all. Anxiety was not his area of expertise as she thought.

"No, I don't regret it. I'm just saying... I don't know," she looked away and stared up at the stars. "It's just freaking complicated."

"It's because you're thinking it is."

"Because it really is for me," she insisted. She didn't know about him, but she had a lot of things to lose if ever she accidentally fell for him. And she had enough of losing something--or someone.

Sharing his bed would make things difficult if she would not be careful. Yes, she could enjoy it, but as she said, it would have to take a lot of necessary precautions. Right that moment, she was thinking of doing it slow. "Are you afraid?"

What a stupid, incomplete question, she thought. "Afraid of what?"

"That you might not want to get out when the time comes?"

"Of course not," she lied. That was exactly what she had in mind.

"Then why can't we do what other married people should be doing? I mean, you know--and I know--that we are strongly sexually attracted to each other. Why not enjoy the moment while it lasts?"

Ayu sighed, took a sip from her glass and watched him through her lashes. His words were rational enough and she had expected that from him. He always had something to say about almost everything. "What do you think?" he asked when she did not say a word.

Ayu chuckled. "You really want to know what I'm thinking." It was not a question.

"Of course. But let me tell you this before you say what you have to say," he paused and scooted closer, urging her to meet his eyes. "I think that we're really good in bed together. We may not be perfect as a couple in a lot of ways, but we're good in bed. I don't want to miss that part with you. Yes, sure, we'll end up divorcing after five more months and we'll go on our own separate ways. And when that time comes, I don't want us both frustrated thinking what would have happened if we didn't deprive ourselves of this. If the time comes that we have to split, I'd like to think I divorced a lover. We started with this marriage with different reasons and I didn't want it to end the same way." He said it without pause and when he was finally done, he was looking more anxious.

"Are you done?" she asked laughingly.

He nodded, breathing heavily.

"Okay, let me clear some few stuff first. Are you saying that in some ways, you regret your decision of forcing this marriage? Because with the way you said those things, it sounded like that." "Yes, in some ways, I do regret it."

"Really?"

He looked at her dryly, "I'm not as cold-hearted as you might think. Of course I regretted forcing you marrying me and signing that contract with your dad. But what's done is done. I can't possibly undo what happened." "You can end the contract now," she suggested.

"That's not going to happen, babe," he smirked. "As much as I hate your cooking, I can't disappoint my family this soon. It's the first time they are actually happy."

"Yeah," her smile faded, "your family is great."

"And you're stalling again. Tell me what you think of my proposal."

"You're too impatient," she pointed out. "Okay, fine, I agree with your statement. I'd rather end this freaking marriage in a different way. I'm tired of fighting with you and sex might lessen that part a bit."

His mouth hung open in disbelief. "You're saying yes to my proposal because you think I'll get softer?"

"Of course. As far as I know, men who are sexually satisfied have good moods all the time."

His laughter rang out and his shoulder shook with it. He took her by surprise by kissing her fully on the mouth, his lips still twitching with laughter. After many minutes, they were gasping for breath and she said, "Yeah, I think I made the right decision. You're such a good negotiator."

"And I'm also good in a lot of other things. Would you like to find out more about it?" he looked at her naughtily.

Ayu giggled and pushed him away, "Maybe later..."

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*****

"Yu!" Roy's voice rang out from the bathroom.

"Hmm..." she moaned, her face buried in the pillow. She had been sleeping in his room for a week now-except when she was having one of her tantrums.

"Yu..." his voice was more audible and clear as he was already hovering above her beside the bed. "What?"

"What did I tell you about the toothpaste?"

Bummer, she forgot to recap the tube last night. Well, it was his fault. "I'll remember it next time, don't worry." She turned to the other side, hugging one pillow. She was getting pissed that he would wake her up because of the damned toothpaste.

"You also said that yesterday."

That did it. "Fine!" she came fully awake in an instant and was about to jump out of bed when she remembered she was naked so she strapped the comforter around her and stormed towards the bathroom, took the toothpaste, recapped it and walked back where he was standing and slapped the tube in his hand. "Happy?" And then she stormed towards the door adding, "I'll return your comforter later!"

She slept in her room for another hour or so after dressing. But that was not for long because she was awakened by the knock on the door.

She ignored it.

"Yu," her husband's voice called from the other side. "If you're not going to open this door, I'll break it."

She snapped her eyes open. It was Monday again and he was probably knocking to remind her of her chores.

Ayu suddenly had a crazy wild idea in mind and she immediately acted on it. She went to her bathroom and plugged her blower.

"Yu..." his warning voice called out once again.

"What?" she tried real hard to make out a weakened voice.

"Open the door."

"I'm too sick..." she said, adding a cough for drama.

Planning your weekend reading? Ensure you're on 000005s.org for uninterrupted enjoyment. The next chapter is just a click away, exclusively available on our site. Happy reading! "What do you mean sick?"

"Sick like fever and cough," she coughed once more and turned on her blower. She then pointed it at her forehead.

"You didn't seem sick earlier," his voice was etched of concern and doubt.

"I am now..." she turned off the blower and ran back to her bed.

"Okay, I'll go get a key..."

She was not surprised he had a key to her room. She felt for her forehead and prayed the heat the blower brought would stay for quite a long time.

It was not a minute longer when she heard a key working on her doorknob. She closed her eyes and buried her shoulders deep in the comforter.

"Yu...." she heard his footsteps briskly walking towards her and she fought the urge to open her eyes.

"Hmmm..." she forced out a really weak moan. She was getting good at it.

"How in the hell did you get a fever all of a sudden?" he asked, planting the back of his hand on her forehead. "God, you're burning up... we need to get you to a hospital."

"No... no... I'll feel better after a long rest," she said in alarm. The hospital would throw her out in the streets once they took her temperature and Roy would drag her home in fury. She could already picture the scenes in her mind.

"I'll go get you a medicine." She was not able to stop him because he was out the door in a flash.

Now, she was worried what would happen to her if she took that medicine. Whatever, she was going take it. She couldn't possibly get well all of sudden, right?

"Here, take this," Roy said gently by the time he got back. Ayu opened her eyes and saw the concern in his eyes. A big attack of conscience gripped her all of a sudden.

"I can do it," she whispered, taking the tablet from him. She prayed a single prayer before popping it in her mouth. She took the glass of water he was holding and took tiny-really tiny-sips of water. Of course she didn't swallow the tablet, she hid it under her tongue and she was itching for him to get the hell out of the room because the taste was horrible. Herland was a doctor and he mentioned once that the mouth can absorb medications. She had to spit it out soon. "Get a good rest now, okay?" he kissed her forehead before he stood up.

Ayu just nodded because she couldn't open her mouth. He tucked her in and went out the door. The moment it closed, she spit out the tablet in her hand, went to the bathroom and flushed it out. She gargled and walked back to her bed. "Now what am I going to do?" she sighed. "That was a stupid thing, Yu. You should call yourself The Lady Who Cried Wolf," she snapped at herself. "It was his fault. He woke me up just to recap the freaking toothpaste."