Eclipse Child

Sometimes you wake up.

Sometimes the fall kills you.

And sometimes,

when you fall, you fly.

- Neil Gaiman

“So he’s gone?”

I look at grandma, watching as she slowly rocks Tala.

“Yes. You said goodbye to him this morning. Why are you asking me that?”

“I just couldn’t believe it.”

Grandma stares thoughtfully in the distance, “I felt like I knew her…that woman…”

I don’t say anything. I had the same feeling as well. But Grandma’s words seem more personal as she looks down to smile at Tala.

“Hello,” she coos, smiling sweetly at her.

“Leo’s gone. Mom and dad are gone….”

I can’t say the other name but Grandma looks at me knowingly.

“I wish your mother and father could have been here to say goodbye to Leo…well, if they come back to the Alba Rosa, I’m sure Mark will tell them.”

“So Uncle Mark is staying there?”

“He and Aunt Quinn have positions there. Of course they want to stay.”

“And Lilah?”

Grandma sighs, “I can’t imagine Lilah wanting to leave her twin. Though she was very hurt that Lexie and Atlas left without telling her anything.”

“She wasn’t the only one.”

Grandma turns to smile at me, “I don’t think I understood my own mother until I became one. The sacrifices made that you are willing to take. The hate you are able to bear in order to do what you think best for your child. I twisted my childhood and changed it for my own convenience sometimes, Soraya. I would tell lies of what it was like just to soothe my own soul. But I like that you never did that. You were always an honest child to yourself.”

I stare at Grandma, and suddenly I know what I need to do.

I don’t reach for Tala. I want to. I want to hold her now, more than ever as I take a deep breath and turn to Grandma, “Will you listen to my childhood, Grandma? Will you listen to every word I say about it?”

Grandma pauses and slowly, a sad smile spreads across her face.

“You know Soraya…I’ve been waiting a long time for you to say that.”

Tala is gone for the night. Orion sits on the bed, his eyes closed as I slowly run the brush through his hair.

Grandma volunteered to take care of her for the night. I blushed as she gave me her suggestive look, but feel a smile come to my face when I imagine telling her how the night so far has unfolded between Orion and I.

Just our usual bath together, and then this- our routine is not broken, even with Tala’s absence.

“Do you think they're feeding her?”

“For the last time Orion, she is in the house right next to us. Grandma and Grandjay know what they are doing. I doubt they would starve Tala.”

There is another pause of silence before Orion breaks it again.

“Can you hear her crying? I think I heard her crying.”

“She’s not crying. I heard nothing.”

More silence before-

“But what if-,”

“Fine!”

He looks up at me, startled by my outburst.

“You obviously are not ready to let go yet- it’s just one night and she’s next door! But if you want, you can go and get her.”

Orion hesitates, a conflicted look entering his face.

“Go on.”

He stands, pausing on the edge of the bed before he turns back around and throws himself on me.

“Wah!”

His sudden attack catches me off guard as he rolls over to have me straddle him.

“Don’t make that face,” he leans forward, nuzzling the spot where my mate mark is.

“I’m not making a face.”

Orion laughs.

I scowl at him, “you were worrying just a second ago about our daughter.”

“I know…but then I thought about leaving you alone in this bed, and I just couldn’t do it.”

“Urgh,” I fall down on him, hearing the satisfied wheeze as the air left his lungs from my weight.

“Ha.”

He sighs at my childish move.

We are quiet then. His hand moves up to stroke my hair, taking the piece.

“It’s gotten longer.”

“I liked it short.”

“Mhhhh,” he examines it curiously.

I move my elbows up to prop my head and stare at him.

“Before I met you, it went down to my waist.”

Orion’s eyes close.

“That sounds beautiful.”

I watch him, taking his own long hair and looking at it. Ours was a similar length now, somewhat past our shoulders.

“I should cut it.”

“Why?”

“What would Tala think of me when she sees how unkempt her father is?”

I laugh at his reasoning.

“I like brushing your hair though.”

“You can brush it when it’s short.”

“Not the same.”

He sighs and leans back, his eyes resting to stare at the ceiling.

I pause, hesitating before asking a question that has been on my mind.

“You don’t shift that much anymore…I mean…you use to be in fur all the time…but now.”

I stop at the raised eyebrow directed towards me.

“The answer is obvious.”

I lightly slap his chest.

“It’s not obvious to me.”

Orion smiles, “I can’t hold Tala in my arms if I’m a wolf.”

I put my face down, hiding the smile from his sight.

His fingers trace my cheek, going under my chin to raise my sight back to his.

“Don’t look away.”

I lean into his hand, closing my eyes to his warmth.

“I’m sorry.”

I open them to see his smile.

He hesitates, but eventually, the question comes to his mouth, “Do you think…do you think I should try to find my parents…maybe…so they can meet Tala?”

I stare at Orion, thinking silently what the right answer could be.

“I don’t know,” I finally admit, “What do you want?”

“I…I think we broke off from each other the day I left them. I don’t think they would want to see me.”

“They don’t hate you, Orion,” I protest.

He only smiles, “I know that.”

He rolls so that we are both on our side, facing each other.

“I feel a…connection to them since Tala was born. I feel as if I know them better. Is that strange?”

“No…I feel the same way.”

Orion’s arms encircle me, “They were good parents. Some relationships are just better when the people are apart.”

I move closer to Orion, closing my eyes as I inhale his scent.

Some relationships, I wanted to whisper.

But not all.

Not ours.