Awake At Dawn (Wildflower Series Book 2)

THE WARMTH OF Anne London’s hug had worn off by the time Chloe and I made it to the airport.

I was eager to get home. Being around Noah’s family and basking in their kindness toward me, their nonjudgmental attitude toward my pregnancy, and general chaotic energy had me missing my own family. It woke something up inside me.

I needed to tell my family the truth. It wouldn’t be fun or easy, but I missed being myself around my sisters. Around Julian and Juniper. And I hadn’t even been able to face my parents since learning I was pregnant. They’d be the hardest to tell, but I needed to do it.

First, though, I had to get this flight over with.

I got Chloe buckled into the middle seat before sitting and fastening my own seat belt. She patted my knee in a tiny supportive gesture before craning her neck to look over the woman sitting by the window. I hadn’t wanted her to sit next to a stranger, but Chloe asked to sit closer to the window, and I didn’t have it in me to argue about it. Especially when I selfishly preferred the aisle.

Taking a slow, shaky breath, I wrapped my fingers around the armrests and closed my eyes, listening to the bustling around me as people gradually took their seats. When it seemed like most passengers had passed our row, I opened an eye, hoping the plane would be moving soon. But flight attendants continued roaming up and down the aisles at a leisurely pace, and I gritted my teeth impatiently.

The waiting was the worst part. The longer it took to get into the air, the longer I had to think about all the things that could go wrong.

My stomach somersaulted, and my chest tightened. Breathing felt slightly painful, which only worsened my anxiety. I closed my eyes again and spread a hand on my lower belly, smoothing it over my bump. I took a deep breath, feeling how my stomach expanded with air.

I was still breathing.

Everything would be fine.

Except everything didn’t feel fine. It felt like my chest was growing tighter with every breath, and I couldn’t give any rational reason why. I didn’t understand why my body did this to me.

“Gemma.”

Oh, God. And now I was just delusional. Because there was absolutely no way that the breathless voice I just heard whisper in my ear was real. Whoever said it sounded awfully familiar and also like they were trying to catch their breath.

But it didn’t matter because it wasn’t real. If it was real, that would mean⁠—

“Em.”

I couldn’t help it. I opened my eyes on the off chance that I wasn’t hallucinating. And sure enough, green eyes were staring at me. Green eyes and that light brown hair curling out from beneath a backward ball cap the same color as a New England Knights hoodie.

“What are you…”

I didn’t even know how to form a complete sentence. My breathing picked up, but it didn’t feel as painful anymore.

“Uncle Noah!” Chloe exclaimed as she swiveled away from the window. She bounced excitedly in her seat, moving the whole row of chairs. If I were coherent enough to string words together, I’d apologize to the woman sitting next to Chloe, but as it was, I just stared back at Noah.

“Hey, Lo,” he said softly before turning to me again. “C’mon. Come with me.” With a gentle touch, he grabbed my backpack from the ground and gestured for me to get up.

C’mon? As much as I loved the idea of getting off this plane, I had to be at skating practice in the morning. And he had training to get to.

What the hell was he doing here?

“Noah, what⁠—”

“C’mon,” he repeated, a murmured hush. He grabbed my hand, squeezing tight, and only then did I realize I was shaking. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to get a seat next to you, so I booked new ones for us.”

“You booked⁠—”

“Chloe, can you grab your stuff?”

Chloe stopped bouncing, and I felt her rustling around next to me, grabbing her headphones and iPad from the chair’s pocket ahead of her. “Where are we going, Uncle Noah?” she whispered, picking up on his quiet body language.

Noah tugged me into the aisle next to him. “To the front of the plane. Does that sound okay to you, Little Lo?”

“Yeah!”

I glanced over to see her scrambling to her feet.

“We have the whole row with two seats on both sides,” Noah continued, speaking with a slow, measured cadence as he backed up so Chloe could join us in the aisle. He was watching her. “Do you think you’ll be okay sitting across from me so I can sit with Coach B? You get both seats all to yourself.”

Chloe nodded excitedly. “Yep, but she likes to be called Gemma, Uncle Noah.”

Noah chuckled. “Hopefully, Gemma will forgive me,” he replied before grasping my hand and walking down the aisle. I followed him with wobbly legs as we made our way up to the new seats Noah had apparently bought in first class.

Of course he’d do that.

When we reached the empty row, he stopped and settled Chloe into her seat first. Once his niece was happily situated, his eyes sought mine, and they were so soft. Soft enough that it made me want to cry. Tears welled along my lashes, and I couldn’t even say why. I couldn’t explain why I was on the verge of crying, just like I couldn’t explain why Noah was here.

“Window or aisle?” he asked, his voice just as gentle as his expression.

“Aisle,” I answered, blinking my tears away. It made me feel less trapped.

Noah nodded, sliding into the window seat so I could take my place next to him. He immediately flicked up the armrest dividing our chairs once I sat. It felt like an invitation. Like he was letting me know that I could cross the boundaries and he’d be waiting.

I glanced at his face only to find that he was already looking down at me, concern dancing in his gaze.

“Noah, why are you here?” I whispered, finally getting the whole question out.

His lips tugged into a frown. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re terrified of flying?”

“Terrified is a stronger word than I would have used,” I argued.

Noah squeezed one of my shaky hands briefly before letting go.

Okay, maybe I was slightly terrified.

It felt worse than usual. I’d been on countless flights over the years, and usually, my anxiety wasn’t quite this awful. But something about this trip made my stomach continue to somersault.

“I’m not usually this…” I drifted off, not sure of even how to describe it. “Maybe it’s the hormones.”

Noah’s frown maintained its place on his face. He leaned closer, eyes dipping to look at my stomach before he spread his hand over it.

Oh, God. He had to stop doing that. It made me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling.

But I didn’t have it in me to push his hand away. Not when right now it was making me feel the one thing I needed to get through this flight: safe.

“Chloe told my mom that you were…that you struggled on the flight here,” he admitted. “And I’m royally pissed that you didn’t say anything to me.”

I swallowed. “I didn’t think it mattered.”

I didn’t think Noah’s frown could deepen any more, but it did. His hand slid from my stomach. Around us, flight attendants finished preparing the cabin for takeoff, and I watched their movements with relief, knowing we’d take off soon.

“Why the hell would you think that?” Noah finally pushed out, drawing my attention back to him.

“I just mean that there’s nothing anyone can really do about it,” I muttered. “I just have to suck it up until we land.”

Noah stared at me for a long moment before sighing. “Well, now you don’t have to suck it up alone.”

“I wasn’t alone.” I glanced over my shoulder to see Chloe already engrossed in a movie on both of her personal TV screens. She’d timed them up to play the same movie simultaneously. “I had Lo. She was very supportive on the way here. I could tell she was trying to channel her uncle Noah’s energy.”

“I’m not the person she should channel for things like that. My brothers said it best, didn’t they?” Noah clenched his jaw. “I’m only there for them if football brings me home.”

“Noah, if you keep talking like that, I’ll give you the same lecture I gave your brothers.”

Noah didn’t reply. His only giveaway was that same tick in his jaw, and before I could go about giving him that damn lecture, the plane lurched, making me forget all about our conversation.

Wordlessly, Noah wrapped an arm over my shoulders. I instinctively curled into him, hoping that the heat of his body would melt all my anxieties away. He moved his hand to my hair, stroking it in a steady rhythm that lulled me into a sense of security.

“We’ll be home soon,” he murmured against my hair.

“Are you going to get in trouble for this?”

If it wasn’t a big deal not to ride with the team, Noah would have flown domestic with Chloe in the first place, and I wouldn’t have even needed to come.

Noah chuckled. “No, Em. I’m not going to get in trouble for this. I just told the team I had an emergency.”

“This isn’t an⁠—”

Noah silenced me with a look.

I felt like I was going to get in trouble for this. Because as Noah held me through takeoff, I grew more and more comfortable and relaxed in his arms. And it just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he felt so good when it was only temporary. He, like this, was only temporary.

The plane accelerated as it readied for takeoff, making me freeze up. Noah’s arms tightened around me.

“We’re okay,” he breathed, his fingers caressing my upper arm in slow circles. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths while waiting for the plane to tip up in ascent. When it did, I held my breath, and Noah noticed. “Breathe.”

I did, putting my hand back on my stomach to ensure my breaths were deep enough to get air into my lungs. I counted my breaths internally, making it to double digits before the plane started straightening out. It wasn’t until my ears had finished popping that I opened my eyes to find Noah watching me.

“Juniper and I got into a car accident in high school,” I confessed, feeling I needed to explain myself.

Noah’s brows furrowed as he dipped his chin, telling me he was listening.

“The accident wasn’t too bad,” I added quickly. “I think that’s what makes me feel so silly sometimes. We hit some black ice and rolled into the ditch. I broke my collarbone and had a bad concussion, but I only spent one night in the hospital. Juniper walked away with just a couple stitches.”

Noah moved his hand back to my hair, tugging slightly on the ends. I wasn’t sure he even realized he was doing it, but I felt those little tugs throughout my body. They sent a shiver down my spine.

Misinterpreting my sudden shudder, Noah frowned with concern as he waited for me to continue.

I took a deep breath. “I think it just made me realize how quickly accidents can happen. How a single-second mistake can change anything. It could have been so much worse, and I think about that every time I’m in any moving vehicle. Or flying metal tube.”

Noah tipped his head back against the seat as understanding washed over his face.

“That’s why you walk everywhere.” His eyes fluttered shut with regret. “And I’m the asshole who forces you to get in a car.”

I nudged him, wanting him to open his eyes again and see the honesty in my expression. He did, green eyes flaring. “It’s not so bad…with you,” I admitted.

A rush of air left his lips. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I trust you, Noah,” I said, repeating the words I said last night. I’d say them over and over again until he believed them. “I feel just as safe as I do when Julian’s behind the wheel. It’s not rational; it’s just a…feeling.”

Noah’s lips flattened into a line momentarily. “The feelings I’m currently having are mixed, Em.”

“Why?”

He lifted a brow and gripped my chin with his free hand, tipping it up so our faces hovered only inches apart. “You’re saying the feeling you get around me is brotherly?” he asked in a husky murmur.

Heat rose to my cheeks as my mind headed straight into the gutter, replaying the things he said to me last night, how he kissed me and touched me in that bathroom.

I cleared my throat. “No, that’s not what I’m saying.”

“Good.” Noah released my chin, seeming somewhat satisfied by my reply. “Because otherwise, I’d need to redo that kiss to make it clear exactly how you should be thinking about me.”

“You could redo it anyway,” I said, my lips curving into a smile. Lowering my voice, I added, “We got interrupted yesterday.”

“Fucking Sully,” Noah grunted. “I know. But that is exactly why I’m not going to kiss you again until I can be sure we won’t be disrupted.”

Butterflies filled my gut, fluttering with the idea that he planned to kiss me again.

I immediately felt lighter, like I could float right off his plushy first-class seat. Snuggling into Noah’s side, I let him ground me again. And then I closed my eyes. But this time, instead of fixating on the plane, I imagined Noah’s lips on mine again. And I let that fantasy carry me off, finally catching the sleep that had evaded me last night.

“My two sleepy girls,” Noah chuckled as Chloe sagged against him. Meanwhile, I rubbed my eyes. We were waiting for his friend to land and give us a ride home since Noah had ridden with him to the airport. A teammate named Phoenix Jones, or as Noah referred to him, Jonesy. He was the team’s infamous kicker, and if I weren’t so exhausted, I might have been nervous about meeting him.

Jonesy flashed a larger-than-life smile when he eventually walked up to greet us in the airport. He introduced himself, offering me his ginormous hand to shake. But when I slid my hand into his, he was gentle. A gentle giant.

Jonesy then insisted on pulling his black SUV around to pick us up so we didn’t have to walk with our luggage. After parking in the pickup lane, he whipped Chloe’s suitcase into the car like it was the weight of a feather before taking mine and doing the same. Noah brushed up against him, muttering something I couldn’t catch. But Jonesy nodded and handed over his keys to Noah, who went to open the front passenger door of the car and motioned for me to get in.

“Oh, I can sit with Chloe,” I assured him, but Jonesy was already settling into the back seat of the car with a smile on his face.

“Sorry, Gemma. Chloe and I, we got some catching up to do. It’s been a minute since I’ve seen this little twerp.”

“I am not a twerp,” Chloe giggled as she followed Jonesy, hopping into the car.

“Come on, Em,” Noah said, his lips twisting as he listened to the back-and-forth between his friend and his niece as they bickered in the back of the car. “I promised I’d drive you home. Let me drive you home.”

This man. He was going to ruin me, and I was going to let him.

I slid into the passenger seat. Noah waited until I buckled my seat belt before closing the door and walking to the driver’s side. And then, just as he promised, he drove us home. After a stop at Natalie’s to drop off Chloe and a quick thank-you to Jonesy for the ride, Noah and I made it back to his building.

It wasn’t until we entered his apartment that I felt my guard finally drop and my body relax.

“Thank you, Noah,” I said, turning to look at him in the foyer. I opened my mouth to say more, but I was lost for words. How was I supposed to sum up everything that had happened in the last few days? The dirty touches and words. The sweetness of showing up on the plane. The unknowing of what it all meant. I didn’t even know where to start.

But Noah just smiled. Almost shyly. “Thank you for coming to Minnesota.”

I nodded, still lost about how to respond.

Noah cleared his voice. “I’m going to shower, I think. Wash away the plane.”

I nodded. Again. Mimicked him by clearing my throat. “Yeah, I’ll probably do the same.”

Noah flashed another timid smile before kicking off his shoes and turning down the hallway to his room and bathroom. I watched him for a second before doing the same.

Showering felt criminally good, and I soaked in it for a long time, letting my mind run around as I thought about the last couple of days. And Noah’s reaction when we’d gotten home.

It wasn’t like I’d expected him to push me up against the wall and kiss me as soon as we got home, but I was hoping for more than a quick dismissal. I couldn’t be upset, though, not after everything Noah had done for me today.

Stepping out of the shower, I dried off and wrapped the towel around me as I wandered back into my connected bedroom. After putting on a clean bra and underwear, I flicked open my suitcase, rummaging through it to find my toiletry bag. But instead, I found a powder blue T-shirt that had a small outline of the state of Minnesota on the front with a note attached.

Thought you might like a souvenir from your time in the North Star State.

Noah will recognize this one if you put it on.

Call it an…experiment.

-Sully

A laugh flew from my lips. He must have snuck the shirt into my luggage while I was eating breakfast.

Just for the hell of it, I threw it on. It fell past my ass, hitting me mid-thigh, and I laughed again. I wasn’t sure what Sully meant when he said Noah would recognize it, but I suspected that this was one of Noah’s old shirts, and Sully wanted me to tease his brother some more. Although it was definitely a size bigger than the other shirt of his that I wore over the weekend.

When I heard Noah rummaging in the kitchen a moment later, I decided to test the theory. If I needed to tease Noah to get him to loosen up again, I would.

After running my fingers through my damp hair to tame it, I left my room to find my roommate. He stood with his hip leaning against the counter, his eyes on his phone and a glass of water in one hand.

“Something must be pretty fucking funny in…”

His words vanished as soon as he looked up, his eyes landing on me. They immediately turned sharp as they trailed lower over the shirt.

All that shyness from earlier when we got home?

Gone.

He forcefully sat the glass of water down on the counter, and it echoed loudly. But not louder than my heart was beating as Noah said the three words I hadn’t expected but was happy to hear, each syllable separated like he had to regain control after uttering even one sound.

“Take. It. Off.”