Chapter Speaking Things Through
I follow him silently. "I have a question, Ruby." I nod at him, waiting for him to ask it. "From what I've heard, you never let Jake touch you when there was even the smallest amount of risk of someone seeing and knowing." "I'm not sure what the question is." That wasn't a question, more of a statement. We stop when we hear noise from the kitchen. His hand pushes me behind him. I watch as he unlocks a unit and takes out a gun. "Why do you have a gun?"
He points around us. "I've got money. It makes me a target. There's one in most rooms. Stay behind me." We step forward and hear something smash.
Then Jake's voice, Alaric, seems to relax slightly until we hear a woman laughing.
"Quiet before you wake them." Jake laughs, and I hear her moan. Alaric moves forward, and my hand grips his arm.
"Don't."
"That is damn disrespectful! He brought you here."
I nod and smile. "I don't care, Alaric. We're not together. He can do who he wishes when he wants to." His eyes glance towards the kitchen. "Plus, if you do this, he leaves, then I have to." He knows I'm right. I've got until tomorrow night and would rather not leave early.
"Fine." Sighing, he locks the gun away and pulls me back through the way we had come. I look at him, confused. "There's stairs from my room upstairs down here. If less you want to walk through the kitchen?" "No." I didn't think of that. We step into his bedroom, and he stops.
"Go to Jake's room. I will be a moment." Jake's room? "Look, if he comes up and sees you're not in there, it will raise questions. Go. I will be one minute." Walking out of his room, I go into Jake's.
Sitting on the bed I wait, and a minute later he walks in. I watch as he locks the door and places a chair under the handle. Well, Jake won't get in now. I doubt he will even try to come up tonight. He found a friend to fuck. "How do you feel?" He sits next to me.
"I'm fine, Alaric; I don't care what he does." He doesn't need to keep checking.
He chuckles and nods. "I meant about what happened with us downstairs." Oh, I bite my lip and smile.
"Fine, it was different."
"That doesn't explain how you felt during and after."
I think back to it: "During, I felt relaxed, safe in some ways, and protected. Then I felt high and like I was flying." It was all still amazing, though.
"For many, they would call that
subspace. It's the place your mind goes to when you give up control when your mind gives up its free will and accepts what happens will but knows you will be safe. For some, it's an intense feeling of safety and happiness; for others, if pleasure is mixed, it can make you feel like
you're high."
I remember reading about that.
"You got to that place quickly, which confirms that you were relaxed and felt safe. At that moment, if I had asked you to do something else, something you wanted to try but were worried about, you would have agreed because your fears were gone." "I can understand that." I forgot about the phone and video, which at first had me feeling anxious.
"Which makes me wonder, and it comes back to what I was trying to ask before. Do you feel safe with Jake? Did you feel safe with him?"
"Yes." I nod quickly, and he looks at me.
"Dig deeper. You wouldn't let him touch you in this room because I was at home. He makes it sound like you avoid anything intimate if there's even the smallest risk, like ensuring the curtains are closed."
"I don't get what you're hinting at." I felt safe with him; otherwise, I wouldn't have agreed to marry him.
"In the kitchen that day. You didn't
consider the fact we were in front of
the window. That was uncovered. On the sofà, you let me fuck you there fasing the stairs, knowing he could come out of his room. Then again, on the sofa, he was in the next room. You let me touch you."
"See, I think you never felt truly safe with him, or maybe you had, and that went? There must have been a reason you didn't feel safe letting him touch you in this room knowing I was in the house, a reason you felt uncomfortable."
Oh, I sit shocked.
Maybe he is right? Okay, he is right. Now that I think back to it, I was uncomfortable, and I didn't feel safe. Which is crazy, as I let Alaric fuck me right there on the sofa, which was far more risky. I think back to the start. Did I ever feel truly safe and comfortable with Jake?
"There must be a reason or a cause?" He looks at me.