Wildling

~~~Ember’s POV~~~

The room was so silent my human ears could practically hear the heartbeats of the wolves in the room. Everyone but Ashton had shocked looks. Their eyes wide at my revelation.

“Your cousin?” Inez breathed still overcome with the shock of my story. No doubt horrified her son has such a disgustingly retched person for a mate.

“What the hell are we doing just sitting here?! We know the pack let’s just go obliterate them!” Jaxson’s canines glinted dangerously as he snarled. I quickly turned and glared at him, placing my hand on his chest as if it could hold him back from running out of the room to war.

“So, you would just run off straight to war? Bring your whole pack; your friends, their mates, your family, you would bring them all into a battle that they have no purpose in being in? You have no idea who you are dealing with. What do you think made me the way I am? Hmm?” I grabbed Jaxson’s face in my hands, desperate to catch his eyes. He was agitated, wanting to run to Shadow Pack right now and deal pain. “Look at me. Jax please.” I pleaded; my voice desperate. Finally, his eyes flickered down to mine, a black abyss staring back at me. Ares was in control.

‘They hurt you. They killed my other half!’ Ares roared, his body trembling in restrained rage. His fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly. His gaze refused to focus on me. I glanced around at the others. The room was thick and musty with fear. Ares must not take control often. They seem to have no clue what to do.

“I know.” My voice breaking as I spoke. “Ares, I know what they did. I lived it. I felt her die and leave me. How do you think I feel?” Ares finally looked at me, his eyes lightening just a hint. “You know, when I met you, I was so happy, if only for a minute. I had a soulmate. Something I never thought possible once she died. But then realization dawned on me. My wolf is gone.” Tears were now slipping down my face. The others in the room faded as I focused solely on Ares and him, me.

“What kind of mate would I be for you? I’m damaged. Broken. I’m as far away from a typical girl you could get.” I looked away, unable to look him in the face. “I have monsters in my past. Ones that constantly haunt and taunt me, telling me I don’t deserve anything good in my life.”

“You. You are the good in my life, dangling in front of me. Like the most prized object that is to beneath me to have. And I’m selfish enough to want to take it.” Ares growled lightly grasping my face and swinging it to look at him. The despair in my eyes evident as his darkened again.

“How do you think I feel to know that I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve a life in a pack again. I don’t deserve to have friends and family in my life. I made my bed and was fully prepared to lay in it. But meeting you, gave me a reason to believe that something better could happen. But all it has done is wreak havoc. You’re all in danger because of me!”

′And I would know that how? You refuse to tell me.′ I looked away again trying to compose my thoughts. The only way he would ever know is by marking me. I could tell him verbally, but you still can’t grasp the amount of pain and devastation I was in with mere words.

“So that’s what you want? To mark me right here and now? To not wait until we both are ready. Fine. Do it then.” Ares gaze burned into mine, his canines already beginning to lengthen. “But just know. You do this now; I will resent you for it. Because you are doing it out of anger and the anguish of not having the knowledge of what happened. You wouldn’t be doing it out of love, out of wanting that other person to be by your side passing through life. And honestly, you would resent yourself.” I exhaled sharply. If he wanted it like this so be it.

The moment my words left my lips, brilliant, emerald eyes gazed back at me, glistening with tears. Neither of us made a move. Still oblivious to the others in the room as we stared at each other. My chest was heaving as if I had just run a marathon. Finally, Jaxson broke the silence. His cheeks tinted red at what Ares had just done.

“I’m so sorry Ember. I know this is never how you pictured a mating. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to go at your pace, and I don’t want to lose you but Ares is being relentless. He just wants to go kill them all for harming you. And so do I.” He looked distraught.

“That’s all good but you guys can’t go blazing in there without knowing what you are walking into first. That’s the stupidest plan ever!” I deadpanned, trying to pound it into Jaxson’s thick head that he was being completely ridiculous and will put lives at risk.

I heard chuckling behind me. I whipped around to see the dispirited faces of Ashton and Inez and the amused ones of Sean and Edward.

“I knew you would be good for him.” Edward laughed shaking his head in bewilderment. “I don’t know of many people who would confront Ares like that and tell him off. That wolf can never be talked down once his mind is made up. What you said is true. He is gambling with lives here. So, what is it that we need to know, that makes the Shadow Pack untouchable.”

I couldn’t help the groan that emitted from my throat. ” I didn’t say they were untouchable, just that you needed to be smart about this! My cousin is far more powerful than any wolf, even an Alpha. How do you think he killed my father?” Edward clenched his jaw at the reminder of my father’s demise.

I turned and stared each one of them in the eyes. Ashton gave me a slight head nod in encouragement. I implored them to not make light of my next words.

“Dimitri is a vampire warlock.” Silence followed. I took that as a sign to continue. ” He is far faster than anything else on this planet. He’s strong and has certain powers. I don’t know all that he can do. He doesn’t often use them but when he does, they are powerful.” My eyes glaze over remembering all the times I attempted to take my life. That desperation and panic settling in my bones as I thought of ways to accomplish it and then resentment and anguish when it didn’t work. I was brought back when Edward started speaking.

“Then we will take time to make a good plan. They won’t get away with all they’ve done.” He glared at Jaxson when he started to interrupt.

I raked my hand through my hair. Sean noticing my agitation. “Why don’t we all take a break and let Ember settle in. It’s been a long day and I’m sure everyone can use some rest.” Everyone agreed and began leaving the office.

“Ember I would like to talk with you. Alone if that’s possible.” Edward stopped me, glancing briefly at his son. I nodded while Jaxson tensed behind me. “I’ll bring her back to your room after Jax.” Jaxson looked at me hesitating at the door, clearly not wanting to leave me alone. I nodded to him and let him know I was ok.

The door closed and I turned to face Edward who had a small smile playing on his lips.

“I know you miss your family. And I know we can never replace them. But I’m going to act like a dad right now so forgive me.” I quirked my eyebrow.

“You told Ares you don’t deserve him and Jaxson.” I gulped and glanced away from his stern expression.

“You’re wrong. You deserve each other. My son deserves a strong woman who can knock him down a peg or two. One who can control his beast. He deserves someone who is so selfless that she’d make herself unhappy to right any wrong in the world. What you went through isn’t right. But it doesn’t take away from who you are or were. Despite everything you are still compassionate and caring. Yet you can also be hard and cold when needed. You have such a big spirit. Ember you deserve every bit of happiness Jaxson can give you. Never doubt that again. I never want to hear you say you don’t deserve something good in this life again, got it?” I nodded, tears once again threatening to fall.

“Come here sweetie.” He drew me into his arms giving me a hug. I sunk into his fatherly embrace and sobbed, knowing I would never have this from my own family. Edward strokes my hair as he held me.

“I know you miss them. It’s ok to break. You don’t always have to be strong. Your family loved you so much and you will always have those good memories to look back on. You know, I really meant it when I said I had wanted you and Jax to meet. I watched you grow from a toddling little baby to an amazing woman and warrior. Your dad tried so hard to keep you from fighting. He thought it would make you a target. But I told him it was better that you knew how to defend yourself if needed. Of course, you were so stubborn. You didn’t need your daddy’s permission.” I pulled back to peek up to him. He smiled down at me, eyes twinkling with a past memory. “I watched you sneak off one day. I saw you practicing what the warriors were. I knew then that you would be such a good mate to someone like my son. And here we are now. And I couldn’t be happier.” He smiled, warm and caring as he looked down at me.

“We will get them for everything they did Ember. I promise you that. Your family deserves justice, and so do you. Now, let’s get you back to Jaxson before he comes to steal you away.”

He walked me up the stairs to the third floor. Bringing me to a door at the very end of the hall and gave me one more hug. “Don’t give up on each other. You both love one another and that’s all that matters. The rest is irrelevant.” He knocked on the door and turned and walked away, leaving me feeling lighter than I had in years.