Chapter 21
~~~Ashton’s POV~~~
I ran blindly, my claws digging into the dirt as I pounded up the mountain. Ember’s memories flashing through my mind as I tried to outrun them.
Now I understood why she tried to let Jaxson go. I can barely stand the thought of what she went through and I’m not her mate. I watched and felt everything she was subjected to. I felt her emotions, heard her thoughts. I knew it all.
Part of me hated this gift I was “blessed” with. Growing up I could never control it, slipping into someone’s mind without any warning. I never knew what was happening until I was older. I had always thought that I was just seeing things happen at the present time. I was hated for it. When I would accidentally slip out someone’s private moments because I thought they just happened in front of everyone.
Jaxson thought I could help her not just because of my gift but because of my past. I could relate to her. I am now realizing how my past pales in comparison to hers. I wracked my brain to think of ways I could possibly connect with her.
Her strength and bravery in face of what she experienced is amazing. Her will power to keep going. If I had gone through what she did, I don’t think I could ever recover from that. She not only went through rape and torture. But she suffered astonishing losses too. How could I relate to that?
I know I hurt Sean when I ran from him. He looked lost and heartbroken when he saw how this was affecting me. I couldn’t process her feelings let alone my own. I was drowning in emotions and pain that were not mine. When I came out from her mind, I felt lost and overwhelmed.
I knew this would be difficult for me, but I guess I never really thought of how much she could have possibly gone through. I figure abuse, but it was so, so much worse.
I’m hopeful that Jaxson can help her heal. I can at least connect with her to try and get the ball rolling but ultimately, it’s up to them. But I know how much a mate love and devotion can help.
Sean helped me. Before him, I didn’t think I would ever find someone who could complete me. I thought I would die in my old pack.
I was hated not only for my powers but also because I was gay. My old pack was very discriminating. If you couldn’t reproduce then what was the point of you.
I had made the mistake of telling someone who I thought was a friend, my truth. He told everyone. After that, the tormenting got worse.
Instead of insults, name calling, and being excluded from things; it turned to physical and emotion abuse. Even my own father got in on it. It got worse as I got older. I would be beaten so badly I would have welcomed death, several times.
My breaking point was when I was sodomized with a metal rod. Three men held me down while another held the rod screaming “isn’t this how you like it”. I had just turned 18 and was still mate less, so I fled. I never looked back.
I was rogue for 2 years. I hid in human towns and held menial jobs to survive. Sean found me when I entered his territory on a run to hunt. I was absolutely petrified at first and made the stupid mistake of running which hurt him. He followed me and wouldn’t leave until he got an answer on why I ran. I thought he would reject me, that his pack would be like mine. I didn’t even know he was in the running to be Alpha king.
He was very understanding once he heard my past and we worked through it together. When he marked me, he couldn’t stop his tears after seeing what had happened. I had never seen him cry before that. Maybe he could help Ember too since he would be able to sympathize with how Jaxson will feel.
With these thoughts on my mind, I ran back to the cabin to make a plan. Ember is not alone anymore.