Chapter II: four
Tana refused to ride in Declan's car. So, she packed everything up into Mika's car and the four of them began the drive to the pack house.
Tana refused to talk to Bea the entire time. It felt like her entire being was in turmoil. She had tried her best to act like Declan didn't affect her, but he did. So, so much.
She had felt like she couldn't breathe. The need to go to him was so strong that if it weren't for Icarus keeping her grounded, she would have.
But she couldn't forget the lies. She needed to stand her ground.
"Bea, you drive me nuts sometimes. Stop telling people to settle for people who don't treat them right. Honestly, I don't know what goes through your head," Mika remarked. Declan and Blake were driving close behind them to make sure that they didn't try anything.
Icarus had fallen asleep in the car, thankfully, which gave Tana some time to process everything. Declan looked hurt when he saw her. However, he was the one who drove her away. She didn't understand him.
"Hush up, Mika. You don't know the whole story," Bea spat back.
"Watch how you talk to me, witch," Mika growled.
"Would the two of you just stop? I can handle myself. Tuk and Devon are there as well. I'll be fine. Plus, I've got you two," Tana said with a heavy sigh. She ran a hand over Icarus's soft curls and stared out the window.
Declan was only part of her worries. While she was in the neutral zone, she had been safe. Fang hadn't known where she was or even that Icarus existed. If she went back with the Dark Wolves, word would get to him, no matter where he was.
And if she knew that crooked family, he wasn't far. He was hiding in plain sight. Which, with a twisted mind like that, was probably even worse.
She couldn't worry about him too much. All she needed to do was make sure Icarus was safe.
***
Tana must have fallen asleep on the ride there. She was woken up by Bea smacking her in the shoulder and urging her to get up and get Icarus, who was already fussing from being in the car so long, out of the car.
Declan and Blake parked beside them and no matter how hard she tried, Tana couldn't fully break her gaze away from him. Despite the distrust she felt, the tingles that erupted in her chest whenever she was around him always took over. It was quite annoying, actually.
"Woof woof woof," Icarus babbled. He kept staring at Declan curiously, even cracking a huge grin when Declan smiled at him.
"It's ok, Icarus. They won't hurt you," Tana whispered, taking one of her duffel bags from Bea when the other girl held it out to her. Blake, surprisingly, walked over and took their bags for them. He seemed to be heading to the house that Declan showed her. Which, in turn, meant Sincere couldn't be far away.
And she was almost one hundred percent sure that the pup would not be happy to see her.
"We have a few empty rooms at the house about a kilometre away, so if you two are comfortable staying there you're welcome to," Declan explained. Bea dipped her head gratefully. Mika, on the other hand, just eyed him suspiciously.
"Tana! What the fu- I mean, uh, shit," Devon exclaimed, hurrying out of the packhouse and stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Declan.
"Has he known this whole time?" Declan growled. Devon took a few steps back as the anger morphed Declan's face into a hard scowl. Tana remained silent, rocking Icarus slowly when he began to whimper.
"I knew something was off when Tuk said he didn't know. It didn't make sense. But this," he huffed, gesturing at Devon, "this is just fucking ridiculous," he snarled. Icarus whimpered again and buried his face in Tana's shoulder.
"You're scaring him," was all Tana said in response, keeping her tone as neutral as she could. Devon gave her an apologetic look as he stood stiff as a board behind Declan.
"You didn't let me meet my son but some stranger got to be part of his life instead of me. How does that make any sense? How is that fair?" Declan hissed.
"He's not a stranger. He's as good as a brother to me," Tana retorted.
"So your brothers get to see him and not his own father?"
"I don't have to justify myself to you."
"I think you do. You just run off when things get too much and make everyone chase after you. You give them nothing in return. You're a coward, Tana Ingrid. No wonder Talon had such an easy time killing Alec in front of you," Declan finally snapped. As the last sentence left his mouth, instant regret crossed his face and his anger seemed to dissipate into guilt.
"You know nothing about that! How dare you say that to me? I tried to save him. I would have taken that dagger to the neck for him if I could. Don't you dare try to blame his death on me when you know perfectly well that if you hadn't rushed in without a plan, none of this would have happened," Tana yelled. Icarus instantly broke out into high-pitched wails, grabbing at Tana's clothes as he cried. She narrowed her tear-filled eyes at Declan once more before snapping her attention away from him and back to her pup.
"Come, doll. Let's get to that house. Mika, move your ass," Bea chided, guiding Tana and Icarus away from Declan, who seemed to be bolted to the spot. He just kept staring forward with the same defeated, guilty look on his face. Had Tana not been so angry, she would have felt bad.
Her wolf paced anxiously in her head, the tense connection to her mate making her even more upset than she already was.
Tana didn't turn back as she was urged towards the woods. She didn't need to, though.
She knew Declan was looking at her.
***
Sincere's scent was strong in the house but Tana could tell that she wasn't there.
Mika and Bea busied themselves by putting their bags away while Tana tried to calm Icarus down in the main living room. He was still crying, though it was quieter now.
"Icarus, please. It's okay," Tana chided, but whenever she handed him a toy he would hurl it back at her with a scream. Perhaps it was a part of that 'alpha temper' Mika was talking about.
"How are you feeling, doll? It's been a stressful day for you," Bea asked softly as she walked into the room, taking a seat on the couch near where Tana was sitting on the floor with Icarus.
"I don't think I've really...processed much, really. Especially Alec. I think a part of me still thinks he's out there somewhere because I never accepted that he was really gone," Tana replied, sighing at another failed attempt to get Icarus to quiet down.
"Goddess, Icarus, shut up!" Tana snarled, her eyes fixed on her son who now stood as stiff as a board. His little eyes were wide and filled with fear as he took a few steps back.
"Tana, your eyes..." Bea whispered, taking Icarus into her arms when the toddler ran over to her. Immediately, Tana pulled out the phone she had bought with her first pay check and stared at her reflection in disbelief.
Her once brown eyes were now a dark gold, shining as if they had their own light sources. Tana snapped her gaze up to Bea frantically.
"What the hell happened to me?" She breathed. Bea bit her lip and looked away for a moment.
"I think it's about time you know why Talon wanted you in the first place, Tana."