Vespertine

Quinn stood numbly before the abandoned gym. She knew that beyond the door lay the V’s, but more than that, beyond the door was Riana. And here she was, on the other side of it, without Salvatore.

She had to go in sometime. She knew that, too. But maybe she didn’t. Maybe she could run away, hop back on her bike and never look back. Or she could lay here and cry, cry until somebody found her, and that would be an explanation within itself.

She pulled open the garage door.

“—lucky we didn’t have more casualties,” Riana was saying to the bedraggled group in front of her. Quinn winced. “We only lost one member.”

“Actually,” Quinn said hoarsely. “We lost three.”

Riana turned abruptly and her eyes lit up as she saw Quinn, and then widened in concern at the sight of all the blood on her clothes. She drew Quinn into a tight embrace.

“Where are Salvatore and Marissa?” She asked, pulling back to look Quinn in the eye, gently brushing stray locks from her face.

Quinn’s hollow, vacant expression stared back at her.

“No,” Riana said, uncertainly. The word fell like a stone from her tongue, as if it was too heavy to be kept in. “No.”

“Salvatore is dead,” Quinn heard herself say, almost automatically.

Riana swallowed. “And Marissa?”

“Marissa… doesn’t exist. She’s a sorcerer, by the name of Scarlett, and she—“ Quinn’s voice caught in her throat. “She led us into a trap. Sal is dead because of her.”

“Are you sure?” Riana asked, numbly. Her voice seemed to echo in Quinn’s mind.

She nodded.

“How did you get out alive?” Someone asked, from the back of the group, but Quinn didn’t respond, because at that moment Riana collapsed into Quinn’s shoulder, sobbing.

Quinn wrapped her arms around Riana, and a second later they sank to the floor, and Quinn could feel Riana’s hot tears soaking through her shirt, and her own vision became blurry as her throat constricted and she thought she might choke if she cried again.

Riana was gripping her shoulders so tightly Quinn could feel her nails digging into her skin through her shirt, and she could feel Riana’s heavy weight as her dead brother’s girlfriend wept.

A minute passed, and Riana composed herself, shaking as she stood, her eyes red and glistening. “Is his body at their compound?”

“Yes,” Quinn replied.

Riana remained silent for a second, and then nodded shakily. “Okay. We need to treat all wounds and rest for tonight. We can figure out where to go from here tomorrow.” The last part was directed more to Quinn than everybody else, but Quinn noticed an uneasy shuffling amongst the V’s.

“What will we do tomorrow?” Somebody asked—the same person that had asked how Quinn had gotten out alive.

“I don’t know,” Riana snapped. “That’s why I said tomorrow.”

The person pushed their way to the front, and Quinn recognized him as Jakob, one of the boys that had been inducted on the same day as her. They had spoken a couple times before, but they weren’t close. His eyes were red, too.

“I don’t think that’s an acceptable answer,” he said, his voice tight with grief and anger. “Phoebe’s dead. Salvatore’s dead. And all of us have injuries. And for what? Did we make our statement?”

Both Riana and Quinn were silent.

“Jakob,” Josephine muttered gently. “You’re grieving. You should sleep on this, and maybe things will be clearer in the morning.”

“Things are clear now,” he shot back. “It’s clear to me that we don’t have a leader anymore. It’s obvious that everything we do is futile. People have died. How many more have to? Is it going to be you next? Me? Them?” He swept an arm out, indicating the rest of the V’s. Some of them were glancing at him uncomfortably, and a couple were even nodding.

Quinn felt her heart sinking. It was as if she could see the V’s falling apart right before her eyes, like Salvatore had been the last thread pulled and now the whole thing was unraveling.

“There are things you don’t understand,” Tanner said firmly, even though his voice was gravelly with sorrow, too. “There is a reason that we do this.”

“What reason?” Alice, a timid medic that spent most of her time at her day job, spoke up from where she was tending to an unconscious Raquel. She looked grim and tired.

Quinn’s head spun. She opened her mouth to answer, but found that she couldn’t quite articulate what she needed to say.

Apparently, Tanner and Josephine couldn’t, either. They both had been with the V’s since Quinn and Sal’s parents were the leaders, and they were experienced enough to understand that death was an unfortunate byproduct of war. People like Jakob, on the other hand, were too young to understand sacrifice and too old to underestimate the severity of death.

Jakob threw his hands up. “This isn’t about the bigger things anymore. It’s not about equality. We don’t know what we’re doing—we’re just rushing into battle and dying, and for what? When does this end?”

“Stop,” Riana said, sharply, rubbing her head. “We can’t argue like this. Please, just go to sleep, everybody. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow Phoebe will still be dead!” Jakob shouted. A stunned, tense quiet settled into the room as his words reverberated around the empty gym. He took a deep breath. “I know there are things bigger than one person. I know that. I just…I don’t know if it’s worth it. Salvatore is gone, isn’t he? How are we supposed to know what to do without him?”

“You knew the risks when you joined,” Riana said quietly. “We all did.”

“I don’t know if I want to take that risk anymore,” Jakob replied softly. His shoulders were heaving.

“You can leave,” Yuki, an older girl that had joined around the same time as Josephine and Tanner, set a hand on his shoulder. “If this is no longer what you believe in, then we won’t force you to fight for us.”

Behind them, many of the V’s were stirring. They were looking at the door, looking at each other, and Quinn could see the doubt brewing in their minds, and their feet were turning towards the exit, and—

“No,” Quinn blurted out.

All eyes turned on her. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks, but the words were building up in her chest. She had to get them out.

“Maybe it won’t be your problem anymore,” she said, “but even if you walk through that door and never come back, it will always be your fight. Because you’re a mortal. Because we live in the world that we do, because sorcerers will look down on you no matter what, because they will rob you and hurt you and kill you just for being mortal. You know they will. And you’ll spend your whole life running, running away from something you can’t help.”

Her voice was rising now, both in intensity and volume.

“You’re right. This isn’t about some bigger ideal anymore. But that’s exactly it. This is personal now. This is for every injustice you have ever suffered at the hands of sorcerers, the inequality your parents, your grandparents have experienced, the disadvantage your kids will be at. This is for them. And this is for you. And you can choose to leave it up to us, or you can choose to be a part of it. We’re not dying for no reason. We are fighting because nobody else is going to for us. Do you get that? Or do you forget why you became a V in the first place?”

She lifted her chin and challenged Jakob silently, her gaze boring into his. “I’ll understand if you feel like this is too much for you. I’ll understand if you decide to walk out that door. But I also hope you’ll understand when I say you’re a goddamn coward.”

“V for verity. For the truth. V for valiance. For the things nobody else is brave enough to do. And V for vengeance. This is for Salvatore. For Phoebe. For Leo. For anybody who has ever suffered at the hands of sorcerers. To quit now would be to disrespect their deaths.”

She was trembling. “You wanted to know why we do this. This is why.”

Quinn realized that everybody was staring at her, but their expressions were different than they had been a minute ago, vacant and fearful. Now, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope in their tired, worn faces.

And all around her, the V’s began to applaud.

Riana rested a hand on Quinn’s shoulder. “Well, I guess this moment came a little earlier than we expected, but… Quinn Vespertine, you are the new leader of the V’s. Do you accept?”

Quinn looked at her, suddenly realizing what that meant. She was the new Salvatore. She was going to have to make the decisions, and she was now responsible for every member. She remembered how unprepared she had felt for this just a little while ago, the night of her induction. Her heart wrenched when she remembered how Salvatore had told her she wouldn’t have to worry about it.

But he was gone, and all that remained was Quinn.

“I do.”