Unsuitable

I wake early, my body still set to the prison clock. It takes me a moment to remember that I’m no longer there, trapped in that prison cell. I’m safe in my own room, in my new home.

I’m free.

For a few moments, I let that soak in.

I can eat breakfast when I want. Shower when I want. Shower alone, without twenty other women there.

Relief fills me.

I turn over in bed, and something digs in my side.

I realize it’s the picture of Jesse and me. I fell asleep holding it.

Picking it up, I look at it one last time before putting it up on my nightstand.

I push the covers back and get out of bed, loving the feel of the carpet beneath my feet instead of the cold concrete that used to be waiting for me every morning while in prison.

Closing my eyes, I dig my toes into the fibers.

Heaven.

I might be feeling good right now, but a restless energy is starting to burn inside me.

I need to exercise. My body is used to it now from all the hours spent in the prison gym.

I could go for a run. It’s hours before I have to be at my new job.

Decision made, I push to my feet and grab my old running shorts, tank top, and trainers from the wardrobe. I get my old iPod and earphones. Putting the earphones in, I put the iPod in the pocket of the shorts.

I let myself out of my silent apartment and out of the building. The air is cool and crisp. The street is quiet.

I push my key into my pocket and get my music going. The sound of Christina Aguilera’s “Fighter” fills my ears.

Ready to burn off this unspent energy, I take off, starting in a slow jog, onto the main street. Then, I quickly pick up pace. I make note of where I’m going and the street names, not knowing this area very well. I don’t want to get lost and be late to work on my first day.

The freedom to run outside doesn’t go unnoticed by me. I relish the feel of the cold breeze whipping on my face and at my legs. I take in the sight of people setting off for work early.

I’m back in the real world. And it feels good. Damn good.

I run for an hour, feeling like I could run for another, but I need to get back to have breakfast and get ready for work.

When I let myself in the apartment, I hear the TV on in the kitchen.

Cece must be up.

“Hey.” I smile, seeing her sitting at the table, nursing a cup of coffee.

She smiles. “Coffee’s in the pot,” she tells me.

I grab a glass first and fill it with cold water from the tap before downing it.

“You go for a run?” Cece asks, eyeing my trainers.

Nodding, I lean back against the counter.

“The Daisy I knew would have broken out in a rash at the thought of going for a run.” She gives a cheeky grin.

“The old Daisy is gone,” I tell her, putting down the glass. I turn and get a cup from the cupboard. I pour myself a coffee before adding milk to it that I got from the fridge.

“I kinda liked the old Daisy,” Cece says softly.

I take a seat across from her. “The old Daisy was weak and gullible.” My tone is harsher than I meant it to be.

Cece’s eyes darken. “You were never weak or gullible. You’re the smartest, strongest, bravest person I’ve ever known.”

I let out a sharp laugh before I take a sip of my coffee. “I was never smart, Ce. If I had been, then I wouldn’t have fallen for Jason’s bullshit.”

“I hate what that bastard has done to you.”

“Did. And it’ll never happen again.”

“’Cause you’re Lara Croft now?”

Cece grins, and I can’t help but smile.

“No,” I say, forcing the smile from my face. “Because I learned my lesson. I won’t make the same mistake twice.”

“And the running?”

“It makes me feel better. Exercise isn’t a bad thing; it’s actually a good thing, you know.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” She grimaces.

Laughing, I shake my head at her.

After having some breakfast, I head off to take a shower and get ready for my new job.

After I’m finished showering, Ce jumps in after me.

I go back to my room where I blow-dry my long hair and fasten it up into a makeshift bun. I grab the makeup that Cece bought for me. I apply eyeliner and mascara on my eyes and a little gloss on my lips.

I put on my old white bra and knickers along with the black trousers and white shirt that I used to wear for work at the jewelry store. The trousers hang off me, and the shirt is loose.

Even though Cece washed all my clothes for me after getting them out of storage, wearing them now feels wrong. They’re from my old life. A life I no longer have.

As soon as I can afford it, I’ll buy some new clothes.

I stand and look at myself in the mirror.

I look exactly like I used to before all of this happened, except thinner and older.

I definitely look older.

Sadness overwhelms me, and I want to cry, but I refuse to.

I’ve cried enough to last me a lifetime. No more.

I focus on the now. New job. Get Jesse back.

Sucking it up, I grab my bag and put my iPod in it. Then, I let myself out of my room.

I pop my head round Cece’s half-opened door. “I’m off to work.”

God, it feels good to say that.

Even if I am only a glorified cleaner, I don’t care.

I have a job.

Cece is sitting at her dressing table, applying makeup, with a bath towel wrapped around her. “You look nice.” She smiles at me in the mirror before turning to face me.

“I look like crap,” I tell her, grinning.

“Shut up,” she chastises. “You’re gonna knock ’em dead at your new job.”

“I don’t want to kill them. I just got out of prison. I’m not looking to go back.”

“Funny.” She rolls her eyes at me. “Isn’t it early to be setting off? I thought you started at half past eight.”

“I do, but it’s a fifteen-minute walk to the train station, forty-five minutes on the train, and according to Toby’s instructions, a twenty-minute walk from the station to the Matis Estate.”

“I can drop you at the train station, if you want? I don’t have to be at work until ten.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” I wave her off. “You’re not dressed, and I fancy the walk.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” I smile at her. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Takeaway and a bottle of wine to celebrate your first day?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Giving her a wave, I head off. I stop off in the kitchen to grab a banana, a Dairylea Snack Box, and a bottle of water from the fridge for my lunch. I put them in my bag and leave the apartment.