: Chapter 17
Dressed in jodhpurs, a white Matis Estate polo shirt, and riding boots, I walk toward the stables.
Outside the stables, I see Kas with Butterscotch. He’s putting her saddle on.
He’s wearing a white polo shirt, similar to mine but without the logo, and these dark brown fitted trousers, not quite jodhpurs. They’re tucked into black riding boots.
The guy even looks hot in riding gear. It’s seriously annoying.
“Hey,” I say as I approach. “Where’s everyone?”
I was worried about bumping into Cooper and him seeing me getting a lesson from Kas after he already offered.
“They’re on lunch,” he says as he fastens the straps on Butterscotch’s saddle.
I’m a little relieved to hear that.
“Am I riding Butterscotch?” I ask him.
“Yeah. She’s an easy ride. Good for a first-timer.”
“Hey, girl.” I stroke her face. “No apples today, I’m afraid. But I’ll bring you some tomorrow. The good ones since you’re letting me ride you.”
Kas finishes up with the saddle and looks at me. “I need to fit you up with a riding helmet.”
“Okay.” I follow him into the empty stable at the end where they keep all of their tack.
Look at me, getting down with the horsey lingo.
Kas pulls a helmet down from the shelf. I expect him to pass it to me to put on, but instead, he steps directly in front of me and places the helmet on my head. He’s so close that I can smell the mint on his breath and the aftershave on his skin. It’s distinctly spicy with a hint of cedarwood in it.
Not gonna lie. His close proximity is making my heart beat a little faster and my insides tighten up.
“It’s a little big,” he murmurs. He lifts the helmet from my head and reaches forward to put it back on the shelf, putting him even closer to me.
I shut my eyes as I breathe in. All I manage to do is take in a lungful of his scent.
My heart starts to beat faster.
It’s been so long since I’ve been this close to a man. Of course my body is going into overdrive. He’s hot.
But it’s nothing to do with him.
Right?
I open my eyes, and my breath catches.
He’s still close, and he’s staring down at me. His eyes are fixed on mine, and they’re darker than normal. And there’s a flicker of something.
Interest?
Yes, definitely interest.
I know he thinks I’m hot. I heard him tell Jude.
But he has no interest in doing anything about it.
And neither do I.
In an unconscious move, I lick my dry lips.
Yeah, right, Daisy. Sure, it was unconscious.
His eyes flare, going to my mouth.
I’m not sure what to do.
Do I want him to kiss me?
Well, my body sure does.
My mind? Not so much.
I need this job too much.
Sense has me clearing my throat and taking a small step back.
Kas blinks, as if awakening.
He grabs a helmet off the shelf and thrusts it into my hands. “This one will fit you.” He pivots on his heel and walks out of the stable.
Okay then…
I put the helmet on and fasten the strap under my chin.
When I make my way back outside, I see Kas bringing Danger out of another one of the stables. Danger’s already tacked up.
“You ready?” he asks me, his tone even.
“As I’ll ever be.” I smile.
“Do you know how to get on a horse?”
I shake my head.
Leaving Danger, he comes over to Butterscotch and beckons me over. “Okay, so put your left foot in the stirrup.”
I do that.
“Now, grab ahold of the saddle with both hands.”
I do as told and grip ahold of either side of the saddle.
“Now, push yourself up, and swing your other leg over as you go. Try not to kick the horse.”
Okay, sounds easy.
I try to push myself up, but I get nowhere.
I try again. I only make it halfway up.
Okay, so, clearly, it’s not as easy as it sounds.
I consider myself to be a pretty fit person, but bloody hell, getting on a horse is hard.
I let out a sound of frustration. I hear a low chuckle from behind me.
I glance back over my shoulder at Kas and shoot him daggers.
The bastard just smiles at me.
I narrow my eyes.
He laughs again. “I’ll help you up.”
He comes up behind me, and the next thing I feel are Kas’s hands on my arse.
What the hell?
My eyes whip back to his. “What are you doing?”
“I’m giving you a boost up,” he says.
I can hear a change in his voice; it sounds thicker.
“And you need your hands on my bum to do that?”
I’m feigning mild anger because I don’t like the fact that I like the feel of his hands on my arse.
His head tips slightly to the side. “And where would you prefer me to put my hands?”
Is that a trick question?
“Um…not on my arse.”
“So, how would you propose I get you on the horse?”
All the time we’re talking, I’m still very aware of the fact that his hands are still on my bum. And that I’m also getting decidedly hotter and hotter and very flustered.
“I don’t know.” I frown. “But did you really need to grab my arse to do it?”
His eyes darken to coal. “Trust me, Daisy, if I wanted to grab your arse, I wouldn’t use this as an excuse to do so. I’d just fucking do it.”
Everything inside me halts.
Then, suddenly, it sparks back to life, setting my nerve endings on fire.
There’s something so darkly sexual about his words. And it thrills me.
Though I’m not willing to admit that to him.
Somehow, I find my voice. “Th-that’d be sexual harassment.” I curse the stammer in my words.
His eyes stay fixed on mine, and if possible, they get darker. “You’re right; it would be.”
He leans in closer, so there’s nothing left but air between us. My belly flutters and clenches in anticipation.
“And I would never do something like that. Unless you asked me to, of course.”
Holy…
What. The. Freaking. Hell?
I’m riveted. And a little wet.
Okay, a lot wet.
His eyes yank from mine. “Now, do you want me to help you get on this horse or not? Because, aside from me going to get you a stepladder, this is the only way to get you on.” His voice is back to normal, like nothing just happened.
I’m still gasping for air.
Trying to find my balance, I look away from him. “It’s fine. Just give me the boost up.”
I feel him give a firm shove against my bum, so I push my foot off the floor. Then, I’m up and swinging my leg over, finally seated on Butterscotch.
Bloody hell, it’s high up here.
I feel a little dizzy. Or maybe that’s just from my little interaction with Kas—which I’ve decided to pretend never happened.
“You hold the reins like this.” He hands them to me, showing me how to hold them. He doesn’t look me in the face once.
And I’m trying to ignore that I can still feel the heat from his hands on my bum.
Leaving me, he goes over to Danger. He picks up a helmet from the floor and pulls it on. Then, gathering up the reins of his horse, he gets on Danger with ease.
“I’ll go up front,” he tells me. “She’ll follow on. But, if she stops for any reason, squeeze your heels into her sides.”
“Won’t that hurt her?”
“No.” He smiles, shaking his head. “And, if you want her to stop, just pull gently on the reins.”
“Okay.”
He gives me a nod. Then, he says to his horse, “Move on, Danger.”
The horse obeys, and as Danger moves past us, Butterscotch starts to walk, following behind them.
It’s a weird feeling at first, riding on a horse, but I get used to it soon enough.
We ride in silence. The only sounds are the occasional cars driving past and the birds chirping.
Kas leads us along a path around the side of the paddocks, heading in the direction of the forest.
“You doing okay back there?” Kas asks.
I nod my head and then realize he can’t see me. “Yeah, I’m doing good. Thanks.”
“We can try trotting in a bit if you want?”
“Maybe,” I say, not feeling wholly sure about that.
He must hear the uncertainty in my voice because I hear him chuckle.
His laugh makes my insides light up. I equally love and hate how easily his laugh so quickly affects me.
“Is Danger your horse?” I ask him, trying to distract myself from my inner turmoil.
Kas slows Danger down until we’re side by side.
“He is. I got him three years ago.”
“He’s beautiful.”
Kas nods. “He was a rescue horse. He’d been badly treated by his previous owner. It took a long time for him to trust me.”
“Understandably. God, people can be complete wankers. Honestly, I just don’t get people like that. I mean, who the hell could hurt a beautiful creature like him?”
“There are people who get a kick from hurting others, Daisy.”
“Yeah, well, they’re sick bastards, and there’s clearly something missing inside them—like emotions.”
“Emotions can be what drives people to hurt and maim…even kill.”
“Maybe…but I don’t understand those kinds of people, and I’m glad I don’t.”
“Wouldn’t you like to hurt your ex-boyfriend for what he did to you?”
“That’s different. That’d be revenge. It wasn’t revenge, what Danger’s owner did to him.”
“No, you’re right; it wasn’t. But wouldn’t you like to get revenge on your ex-boyfriend?”
Exhaling, I shake my head. “No. Don’t get me wrong; when it all first happened, I spent many hours thinking up all the different ways I would cause him pain. But I quickly got past that when I realized it wouldn’t change anything. Hurting Jason wouldn’t alter what happened. Yeah, I’d probably feel better for a minute or two. But then that minute would be over, and I’d still be here, in the same situation. Revenge isn’t for me. All I care about is the future, getting back what I lost.”
“Jesse.”
“Yeah. He’s all that matters now. And I won’t do anything to jeopardize getting him back.”
“You’re a better person than most.”
“I don’t think I am. I’m just a person dealing with the hand that life dealt me. It’s all any of us can do.”
Kas is silent for a long time. Instead of heading into the forest, he veers us along the back of the paddocks and around, heading in the direction of the stables.
“Was Butterscotch a rescue horse?” I run my fingers through her mane.
“No. My mother got her as a foal when we first moved here. She trained her.”
“So, she’s your mother’s horse?”
“Yes.”
“And she wouldn’t mind me riding her?”
“No. She’d be happy that Butterscotch was getting exercise.”
“When do your parents get back from Greece?” I throw out there.
He gives me a surprised look, and I know it’s because he knows he never told me where they were.
“Cooper mentioned they were in Greece,” I tell him.
He looks away from me. “They’ll be there for another couple of months.”
“I bet you miss them when they’re away.”
He lifts a shoulder in answer. “I’m used to them being away.”
“Whereabouts are your parents from in Greece?”
His eyes slice back to mine. For a moment, I think that he’s going to turn into Kas-hole and tell me to stop asking questions, but he surprises me by answering, “My mother’s English. She was born in London. It’s my father who is from Greece—Thessaloníki,” he says the name of the city with an accent to his voice.
The sound ripples down my spine in the most delicious way.
“I’ve never heard of Thessa—I’m sorry.” I laugh. “I have no clue how to pronounce it.”
Kas chuckles. “Thes-sa-lo-ní-ki,” he elongates the word for me.
“Thess-a-loníki,” I echo badly.
“Close.” He smiles kindly.
“Well, I’ve never heard of it before. I’m afraid my geographic knowledge of Greece is limited to Athens and Rhodes.”
He laughs softly. “Most people’s is. Thessaloníki is actually the second largest city in Greece, believe it or not. It’s a beautiful place.”
“Then, it’s a shame more people don’t know about it.”
He nods, agreeing.
“Have you spent much time there?”
“A lot when I was a kid. Not so much as I got older.”
“Why not?”
His response is a slight shrug.
“Well, if I were you, I’d be there all the time and away from rainy England.”
“The weather’s nice today,” he comments.
I glance up at the cloud-free sky. “True. Are you fluent in Greek?” I ask, looking back to him.
His eyes meet mine. “Yes.”
I’m tempted to ask him to say something in Greek to me. But I somehow think that Kas isn’t really the type to perform, so I hold my tongue.
We’ve reached the other side of the paddock now, close to the stables.
Danger picks up pace, heading for the stables, with Butterscotch trailing behind.
I hide the disappointment I feel from our ride being over. I was enjoying it. And I was actually enjoying talking with Kas. More than I ever thought I would.
We didn’t get around to trotting either, but I don’t comment on it.
Kas brings Danger to a stop in front of the stables and hops down from him.
I sit on Butterscotch, unsure of how to get down.
I watch as Kas takes off Danger’s saddle, opens the stable door, and then removes his bridle. Danger wanders into the stable. Kas shuts the lower door behind him and slides the bolt across.
He turns and looks up at me. “You staying up there all day?” There’s a definite smile on his mouth.
I bite my lip. “I don’t know how to get down.”
Still smiling, he walks over to me. “Take your feet out of the stirrups.”
My right foot slides out fine, but my left foot is a little stuck. I give it a wiggle, but it doesn’t come free.
“Here.” Kas takes ahold of my leg and pulls the stirrup from my foot.
There’s a layer of rubber and cloth between his hand and my leg, but I still feel his touch, like it’s on my bare skin.
I start to flush hot.
“Hold on to the saddle, and slide your right leg over.”
His hand leaves my foot. I look at him, unsure.
“I’ll catch you,” he tells me softly.
Hands gripping the top of the saddle, I slightly lean forward and bring my right leg back over Butterscotch, taking care not to kick her in the rear.
I feel Kas’s hands come around my waist, guiding my feet down to the ground.
“Thank you,” I whisper. A whisper is all I can manage at the feel of his hands on me.
He doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t move his hands away either.
I feel him move closer. His chest brushes my back.
My heart takes off in a race against my pulse.
I can feel his soft breath blowing on my neck.
Involuntarily, I lean back into his touch, pressing my back to his chest. His grip tightens on my waist. And I shiver.
I want to kiss him.
I might not like him so much, but God, my body does right now, and my body is seemingly in charge.
I know that, if I turn around right now, I will kiss him.
Or he’ll kiss me.
I won’t be able to take back what happens.
But I’m not sure that I really care at this moment in time.
His hands on me, the feel of him against my back, just feels too good.
He feels like nothing I’ve ever had before and everything I didn’t even know I wanted.
“Daisy,” he softly says my name, sounding like a plea on his lips.
It’s a plea I can’t ignore.
I turn slowly. His hands stay on me—one moving over my back, the other grazing over my stomach, both coming to rest on my waist.
My whole body is awake.
Like I’ve been in a deep sleep, and he’s just touched me to life.
My eyes are on his chest. I’m afraid to lift my eyes to his. I know that, if I do, then this will all be over.
I can feel the heat of his stare on me.
He says my name again.
Inwardly, I’m panting and needy.
Outside, I’m…panting and needy.
Could I be more obvious?
His hand moves from my waist, leaving me cold. Then, his fingers slide under my chin. He unclips the helmet, removing it, and drops it to the floor beside us. Not once do his eyes leave mine.
His fingers brush back the loose strands of my hair. Finally, I lift my eyes to his.
And his are blazing. On fire. For me.
My whole body trembles from the inside out.
He infinitesimally moves in.
He’s going to kiss me. Holy shit, he’s going to kiss me.
And I’m going to let him.
I close my eyes in anticipation.
Then…
Ariana Grande’s “Into You” blares loudly from my phone. It’s set as my ringtone.
My phone is ringing.
My eyes snap open to meet Kas’s, which are wide with surprise. I watch in those brief seconds as a multitude of emotions flash through his eyes. Shock, horror, regret…but the one that hits me the hardest is disgust. And the way his hands drop from me, like I just infected him with a deadly disease…it makes me feel sick.
Why is he so repulsed by the thought of touching me? Kissing me?
Because I’m the staff? Or is it because I’m just a maid? Because I’m poor? Because I’ve been in prison?
He thinks I’m not good enough for him…
Pain lances across my chest, and in this moment, I’ve never felt more worthless.
He steps back from me. One step. Two.
His hands go to his head, dragging through his hair. “Fuck,” he growls. Then, his eyes are back on me. Cold and hard. “For fuck’s sake, Daisy!” he snaps. “Answer your goddamn phone!”
I jump at the harshness in his voice, and I’m surprised that I actually forgot my phone was still even ringing.
I grapple to unzip the pocket on the back of the jodhpurs where I stashed my phone. As I pull it out, it stops ringing. I stare down at the screen, seeing the missed call. I don’t recognize the number, but I do know it’s a London area code.
I keep my eyes glued to my phone. I daren’t look up at Kas.
I’m afraid of what I’ll see if I do.
More disgust. Maybe some repulsion.
The memory makes my eyes sting.
My phone rings again in my hand, startling me. It’s the same number.
I hesitate and then answer it. “Hello?”
“Daisy?”
“Jesse?” His name rushes out of me on a breath.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Is everything…are you okay?” My heart is hammering in my chest.
“I’m…” He hesitates. There’s something in his voice. He sounds worried. “I’m in a bit of trouble.”
And my heart drops to the floor. All thoughts and hurt over Kas are erased.
“I need your help, Mayday. Can you come get me?”
He needs me. He called me Mayday.
“Tell me where you are. I’m coming now.”