novelxo Chapter 37 - the Realization
Valeria took me inside, and gave me some dry clothes to change into. Then she took me up those creaky, wooden stairs I used to frequent. My broken heart ached as I looked at the place Tophyn’s bed once had been. It now housed two small, wooden cots, with bright-eyed children in them.
“Hello, my loves,” Valeria said, as she took the seat that stood between the two beds. “I’ve brought your auntie with me, say hello to Serin.”
The children each said their hello’s, and then crowded their mother. The stairs creaked behind me, and I looked over my shoulder to see Nysander quietly approaching.
He joined me on the floor between the beds, still a few steps away, as we watched Valeria tuck the children into bed.
“Tell us a story, mama,” Elora begged. “How about we do a song instead, would that be okay?” Valeria asked, gently caressing the side of her daughter’s face.
The little girl nodded.
“Maybe auntie Serin could sing you one,” Valeria suggested, glancing at me.
I hesitated. “If that’s alright with you?” I said eventually, looking at the children.
“Oh yes, please,” Elora and Tophyn gushed, each sitting up excitedly.
Valeria tucked them back into bed as I began singing.
“Close your eyes, my little love
Listen to the rain above
In moonlit nights, you softly sleep,
sinking into dreams so deep.
Clouds above, a steady stream
they whisper secrets down the beams.
Hear the pitter-patter tune,
lulled beneath the silver moon.”
Nysander joined me for the last verse of the song, filling my heart with a mixture of happiness and sadness.
“Rain upon the roof, a song,
in night’s embrace, where you belong.
Slumber deep, my precious dear,
raindrops hum, no need to fear.”
By the time we finished, three pairs of eyes were wet with tears, and two pairs had shut. We all quietly made our way down the stairs, and sat back down at the table.
It was Nysander who first began speaking. “I don’t know what happened here, Serin,” he said, “be it witchcraft, or deception, but you’re not my sister. My parents truly only had two children.”
I slumped in defeat.
“I see that clearly, you know your way around the house. You seem to share my memories too — so I am inclined to believe you. I believe you feel you have been a part of my childhood with Tophyn. I cannot explain how this may have occurred, but the fact is, you are a young woman who just wandered into our lives. We cannot keep you here. You can stay the night, as I would not feel good sending you off into the night with nowhere to go, but you must leave tomorrow.”
I nodded. “I understand,” I said, “I’ll leave first thing in the morning. I am very grateful you’re letting me stay here.”
Valeria looked at Nysander with a heaviness in her eyes, as if she was begging him to change his mind. But I had made up mine, too. This was no longer my home — I had nothing left here. Now that Tophyn was no longer here, and Nysander had moved on — there was nothing left, tying me to this place. I truly was glad I had come back though, and although I had hoped to find them the way I had left them, seeing Nysander in his new life was healing too.
And Tophyn… I didn’t think I would ever recover from that loss. But I knew in my heart of hearts, it might have played out this way eventually. Although I still believed I could have healed him — a small part of me had always been prepared to return home and find him no longer alive. I just wished I’d have gotten a chance to say a proper goodbye.
Valeria made a bed for me on the kitchen floor —a hay mattress and some thin blankets— and then she and Nysander went into their own room — the room that had once been mine. As I lay there on the kitchen floor, studying the ceiling of the house that used to feel so familiar, but now couldn’t feel more estranged, I thought about everything that had happened that day.
I thought about Myrtha perishing on the battlefield, about Phaedra opening the gateway, about saying my goodbyes to Warrian, about my moments with Thoridor.
Thoridor. I thought about how his voice had echoed through my head.
“You did so well,” he had said, “You figured it out.”
I sighed.
“Go now, Serin,” he had urged me, “don’t spill your chance. Get out of here, blood wielder, free yourself.”
I turned to my side, unable to get comfortable. Blood wielder — what an odd thing to say. I tossed and turned again. “Free yourself.” I mulled the words over in my head. Free myself. I hadn’t, had I? Phaedra had freed me.
I turned to my other side. Blood wielder. I thought about the battle field. There had been blood, yes. Wielder. I had wielded my dagger? But I had drawn no blood. I rolled onto my back again. Wielding blood. What might that look like?
I shot up, my heart pounding in my chest. The Ardanians had stopped their attack on me — freezing, right in front of me. After I had willed them to. My breathing picked up speed. What if I had made them? What if they had stopped because I had willed them to do so?!
A wave of dizziness washed over me as I thought of the time I had taken the Altenite. I had willed my blood to stop running — had willed the wound to heal. Maista had shaken her head when I had told her about it. “It couldn’t have,” she had said, “Altenite doesn’t do anything. It’s quite calming, when brewed into a tea, but it doesn’t heal wounds or even stop any bleeding.”
I shakily got up and walked to the kitchen drawer, pulling a knife out. Before I could change my mind, I ran it along my forearm, leaving a deep gash in its wake. Crimson liquid began pooling in the wound, and soon began dripping down the side.
I looked at the droplets, and willed them to stop.
They did. The blood stopped trickling. I willed it to begin coagulating — to slowly dry. I willed my wound to heal. I helped it along, pressing the two sides of the gash together. When I let go, they stuck. I wet a finger, and ran it over the bloody streaks along my forearm, wiping the blood away. The skin below had healed — just like it had before.
Blood wielder. My heart pounded painfully against my ribs. I feverishly went over the rest of the events that had taken place over the last days. What else had I missed?!