novelxo Chapter 32
Chapter 32
BLAIRE
Despite my feeling of isolation, I still force myself to join them for dinner. Though Sebastian and I had a little chat a while ago, I can’t wait to have him in our private room so we can talk about this more thoroughly. When I went down to the dining area, I found Sebastian sitting in the power seat like usual. But this time, it was Catherine who was sitting on his right side while my father took the seat on his left. Stacey was sitting beside my father, so I had no choice but to take the empty seat beside Catherine.
“I'm sorry:
if I take your seat. Do you want us to switch places?” Catherine asked, acting innocently. But I can see right through her facade. She's obviously trying to rub it in my face that she’s taking my position. “There's no need for that, Catherine. It's just a seat. I'm still his wife, both in papers and in Go d's eyes.” It may sound petty, but I wanted to put her in her place. She may be sick, but she doesn’t have the right to act as if the whole world needs to revolve around her.
“Of course, no one is taking that away from you.” She leaned a little closer before whispering, “Yet.”
I knew it! I'm not sure why it seems like nob*dy sees what she’s planning, especially Sebastian. It's probably my fault for not telling him what Catherine did a year ago. If I did, I'm sure he would see it right through her lies.
As we proceeded with dinner, they all seemed so happy. Sometimes, I would look at Sebastian. But he would quickly look away whenever our eyes met, as if he were guilty of something.
I'm starting to regret my decision to come back here. I shouldn't have let myself be swayed by Sebastian's sweet words and promises. But, come to think of it, aside from our vows, he didn't promise me anything. Is he having second thoughts about our relationship? Is he considering taking Catherine back after he knows the truth about her leaving? So many questions are going through my head right now, and it's only Sebastian who can give me all the answers I need.
After dinner, I headed back to my room. They all wanted to have some tea in the garden, but I refused. I was expecting Sebastian to follow me right after. I waited in the room for hours, but there's no sign of Sebastian. It seems like he joined them for some
tea.
I decided to wash myself and get ready for bed. Though my b*dy is tired, my mind is restless. I couldn't sleep, even if I tried. I wanted to end all the questions lingering inside
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my head. I decided to read a book while waiting for Sebastian. Somehow, the book helped me forget what's troubling me for a while. But once I finished the whole book, my misery came back all at once. I glance at the clock and discover that it's already past midnight. It's later, yet there's still no sign of Sebastian. I grabbed my robe and decided to look for him. He's probably in his office, buried under his work. I couldn't wait for another day. I needed to talk to him.
I walked out of the room, and the cool breeze coming from the terrace immediately welcomed me. I continue to walk towards the open door. My heart was racing as I walked closer to the door. I'm afraid of what I might see there, but my curiosity gets the best of me. My throat suddenly feels dry, and I become closer and closer to the terrace.
I heard two voices coming from outside.
“I'm sorry, Sebastian. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about this sooner. I thought I was doing you a favor when I left. I couldn't bear seeing you in pain. I thought you'd be better off knowing I left you for another man. I tried my best to move on, but I couldn't. I still love you,” Catherine said.
I was completely frozen as I watched the two of them from the terrace. I feel like having dejavi. We were exactly in the same position as we were a few nights ago. But the only difference was that Sebastian was looking at Catherine with eyes filled with longing. Something has changed about Sebastian. He was completely different from before he learned about the truth.
I suddenly felt a lump in my throat when I saw Sebastian slowly lifting his hand before eventually caressing Catherine's cheek. My heart was shattered when I heard what he said next.
“I should have followed you. I shouldn't have just believed your words. I know that you wouldn't do that to me. It's my fault,” he said.
He may not have directly said it, but his message was clear. He still loves Catherine, and he regrets marrying me. I wanted to confront them, shout at them, and be mad at them. But I remain frozen. I couldn't even force myself to move. Probably because deep inside my heart, I know that I'm the villain in their story. They would definitely get back together if it wasn't for me. Or maybe they are just looking for the right timing.
I quickly covered my mouth as I gasped for air upon witnessing what Sebastian did. next. He cupped his face as he slowly lowered his head until they touched. Watching them k*ss felt like torture. I took a step back but didn’t notice the large vase placed on the corner near the door. The vase created a screeching sound against the floor that managed to capture their attention. They both turned in my direction at once.
“Is someone there?” Sebastian's voice pierced the darkness, questioning if someone was
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present.
I felt a strange mix of guilt and fear, as though I were a culprit avoiding detection. Grateful for the dimly lit hallway, I stayed hidden, hoping Sebastian wouldn't recognize me. An irrational fear gripped me, urging a swift retreat to our room before he could. approach. It was as if I were fleeing from an inevitable confrontation, scared to confront the truth. Back in the safety of our room, I allowed the tears I had held back to flow freely. The weight of suppressed emotions finally found release, with each tear carrying the burden. of uncertainty and self-doubt.
In the solitude of that moment, I questioned my decision to return. Who was I fooling? It seemed clear that I didn’t belong here, and the harsh reality of that truth hit me with cach passing tear.
As time passed, a growing unease settled within me. Sebastian's absence felt heavy, like a cloud of doubt hanging in the air. I couldn't help but wonder if he had spent the night. with Catherine, offering her comfort. I wouldn't be surprised if he did. I feel like we're only a few steps away from finally putting an end to this marriage.
Lost in my thoughts, my phone suddenly rang, and a sense of comfort washed over me when I saw Ethan's name on the screen.
“Hi, did I wake you up?” he greeted.
“No, you didn’t,” I replied, providing minimal context. Despite Ethan being a source of comfort since I left home, I couldn't find the courage to tell him that I was back at
square one.
“I'm sorry, I haven't checked on you much. I've been busy with the farm and managing your shop. I heard you're planning to close it.” Ethan inquired.
Indeed, closing the shop was the initial plan when Sebastian and I started working on our relationship. But now, with everything on the verge of falling apart, I hesitated. Maybe it would be better for me to stay in Hawaii and continue my life there. However, I knew it wasn't a decision I could make hastily. Despite what I witnessed earlier, my heart still longed for Sebastian. I wanted to fight for my marriage. I wouldn't leave until I heard the truth directly from him. I didn't want to repeat the same mistake twice. I needed to talk to him, to hear it from his own mouth.
“Thank you for all your help, Ethan,” I replied, genuinely grateful for his patience and consideration.
He continued, “You've been through a lot, Blaire. Take all the time you need. If there's anything I can do for you, just let me know. I'm here to support you.”
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“Thank you, Ethan. You've been a true friend,” I acknowledged, touched by his sincerity.
As our conversation continued, Ethan shared updates about the farm and my shop, attempting to lighten the mood. Yet, beneath the surface, I grappled with the tumult of emotions stirred by recent events.
“I've been thinking about the shop,” he mentioned cautiously, circling back to the initial topic. “If you decide to keep it open, I'll do my best to manage things here. Your passion for the business is evident, and I don’t want to see it suffer.”
“Ethan, I haven't made a final decision yet, but your offer means a lot to me. I'll let you know once I've sorted things out,” I assured him.
He responded, “Take all the time you need, Blaire. I'll be here whenever you're ready.”
As we wrapped up our conversation, I couldn't escape the reality that awaited me. The uncertainty of my relationship with Sebastian and the looming decisions about my shop intertwined, creating a landscape of choices that demanded careful consideration.
Alone in the quiet of my room, I reflected on the support I had for Ethan. His understanding and willingness to stand by me brought a sense of comfort, yet the challenges ahead loomed large. The night stretched on, a canvas where the contours of my future remained undefined, waiting for dawn to shed light on the path forward.
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