To Hate Adam Connor

Lucy

Sometimes it takes years for your life to change. In some cases, a lifetime. You wake up one morning, look around, and suddenly realize that everything has changed. The people you thought were your friends, loved ones…they are long gone. Your life isn’t the same. Time has slipped away and you didn’t even notice a thing.

However, sometimes…sometimes it can change right in front of your eyes.

All it takes is the blink of an eye.

One moment you think you can handle anything life throws at you…and the next moment…well, to put it nicely…you’re screwed.

While I was sitting all by my lonesome in Olive’s backyard, those were the thoughts that were crossing my mind. That I was screwed. That I had fucked up.

Royally.

I had left Olive and Jason inside after telling them the news and had come out because ‘it was such a beautiful night and I had to do some stargazing’…which actually meant I needed to get some fresh air and try my best to assure myself that everything would be okay and that I should just breathe. Just close my eyes and breathe. When Olive got up to join me, from the corner of my eye I saw Jason gently grabbing her hand and shaking his head.

I didn’t think he’d be able to keep her inside for long, but I appreciated him trying all the same.

Having successfully breathed for at least a few minutes without having a sudden heart attack, I looked over my shoulder to see if Olive and Jason were still up.

They were. And they were dancing.

With no music.

I still don’t know what about that scene struck my heart so strongly, but I remember the raw pain I felt in my chest.

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t jealousy. I wanted nothing but happiness for them, but maybe it was the first time I’d wanted someone to hold me that closely, to look at me just like Jason was looking at Olive. His fingers were playing with her hair as Olive’s head rested against his chest. Eyes closed.

There was no music.

Nothing but the two of them in the world.

So, for a brief moment, I wanted the same for myself.

The feeling of security that someone was there to hold you up when gravity was too much to handle on your own, that you had someone you could trust enough to let go.

Just for a moment, I wanted someone to hold me up and tell me everything would be okay, that my fears were uncalled for.

When I heard music drifting over from nearby, I hesitated only for a moment before I hauled my ass up from the ground and carefully climbed over the wall that stood between Adam Connor and me.

As I followed the stone pathway, I stopped moving when I saw him standing in front of the glass windows watching me. It was a slightly different version of the Adam Connor I’d seen that first night with Olive: button-up shirt, rolled up sleeves, black slacks…the only difference was that he didn’t look like he was trying to figure something out. The opposite, actually. As we stared at each other, he looked like he’d figured everything out.

He was everything a girl could ever want.

Not to mention the hottest DILF.

Feeling a sudden chill in my bones, I hugged my arms and kept walking toward him.

He never looked away from my eyes as he opened the door for me.

Before he could say anything, I took a step forward, leaned up, and kissed him. It wasn’t an ‘I want to fuck your brains out’ type of kiss, even though I wouldn’t have minded doing just that. It was…a different kind. A kind I didn’t want to name.

Oh, hell. Fine. It was a sweet kiss. The kind of kiss I avoided.

He didn’t stop me. He stood there, his lips moving so softly against mine as I did my best to quiet my screaming heart.

When his arm gently touched my waist, either to push me away or pull me in—I couldn’t take the chance—I pulled back from his lips and started hearing the music again.

“Lucy…” Adam murmured, his hot breath against my wet lips.

“I don’t know this song,” I murmured back and finally looked into his eyes. “I know it’s George Michael, but I don’t know the song.”

He was silent for a moment as he searched for something in my eyes.

“It’s called ‘Jesus to A Child’,” he said after an awkward silence.

I nodded, but said nothing more.

“You came over to ask about the song?”

“I’ve never heard of it. It’s a beautiful song.”

“It’s old and it is a beautiful song.”

Those vivid green eyes that were looking at me with such intensity were also gentle. Could he see what I needed even though I had no idea what that was anymore? I forced a smile on my lips, trying my hardest not to show how much I was shaking inside as I stood in front of him.

You shouldn’t have climbed over that wall to get to him, my brain screamed at me. You shouldn’t have listened to your stupid heart.

“Do you like dancing?” I asked, ignoring common sense.

“No.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised. “Okay.”

“Ask me anyway,” he countered.

I hesitated.

“Will you dance with me?”

“Yes.”

He took my hand in his warm, big one and pulled me inside. As soon as he closed the door and turned to me, I walked up to him, put my hand on his heart, and rested my head next to it. His body froze for a moment, but then he circled one of his arms around my waist and pulled my body closer to his.

I released the breath I was holding and something eased in my heart.

Something eased in my stupid heart, I should say.

He didn’t ask me what was wrong, though I knew he would eventually. All he did was gently push my hair behind my ear and rest his chin on the top of my head.

My fucking stupid heart shivered.

Then he lifted his left hand and pulled my hand away from his heart. That was a little disappointing, but I knew I was taking it too far.

As I dropped my hand, he caught it midway and started linking our fingers together. My eyes opened, and I watched the pad of his thumb lightly caress the sensitive skin between my thumb and index finger as my fingers fit perfectly in between his.

I curled my fingers around his hand and held on.

Never lifting my head up from his chest, I glanced at him through my lashes, only to see his sole focus was on our hands. He looked…he looked different. Thoughtful. Worried? Then he blinked and brought my hand back to rest against his chest, his own hand covering mine.

The nerve…I know.

I was the one who was trying to seduce him out of his pants; he had no right, no right whatsoever to try and seduce my heart.

But…I let him hold my hand anyway. It was comfortable.

Standing like that with him was comfortable. Hearing his steady heartbeat. His warmth against my body.

The hand splayed on my back was just as comforting as his hand holding mine. It tethered me to the world.

Or maybe just to him.

It was all so easy on my heart.

And it was all so scary.

I still let him. Don’t judge me. If you were me, by now you would’ve melted away; at least I was still standing upright. I win, you lose.

So I let him hold my heart in his hands. It was only for a moment anyway.

Suddenly the song ended and the silence that filled the room was somehow louder than George Michael had been. It only lasted for a few seconds as the same song started back again.

But…for those few seconds, Adam had kept us moving in a gentle sway and I’d gotten my wish. I’d danced with no music. Even if it was for a fleeting moment, I’d had what Olive and Jason had.

And that should’ve scared me shitless…but it didn’t.

Did I mention what a stupid heart I possessed?

I closed my eyes again and let Adam dictate our moves as I absorbed the painful words. It wasn’t just the words either. You could tell he was in pain too—George Michael, I mean.

He was in pain for the love he had lost, and I was lost searching for the love I knew I could never have.

“Is it true? What he is saying?” I asked, my voice low.

“Which part?”

“Does love really hold bliss?”

“You tell me. You were the one with the boyfriend.”

“And you were the one with the wife. With Jameson…I loved him…but it wasn’t like that. I never had that.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was…we were…we were great in bed, I’ll tell you that much, but out of it…I don’t know, I never trusted him like Olive trusts Jason. He was a flirt. He wasn’t serious about it, but it still hurt to see that he wasn’t all that different with other people than he was with me. When I catch Jason looking at Olive, even when she is doing something mundane like drinking water or generally acting like a crazy person, I see his lips tipping up. If I’m feeling extra mushy and look hard enough, I can actually see his love for her. Again, mushy, I know, but it looks beautiful on them. Love looks beautiful on them. It looks right. Before I came here…” I hesitated, not sure if I should share or not. “They were dancing with no music. In the middle of their living room, they danced with no music.”

“Ah,” he muttered, his hand moving a few inches up and down on my back—a gentle, soothing caress I wasn’t expecting. “That’s where the dance invitation came from.”

“No,” I denied quickly…a little too quickly, maybe. “No. I wasn’t jealous of them or anything like that,” I repeated. “The song. I liked the song. I came for…the song.”

“I like the song too, Lucy,” he murmured so softly I almost didn’t catch it.

Were we even talking about the song anymore? It didn’t sound like he was talking about the song.

When he didn’t continue, I closed my eyes and focused on the damn song and the lyrics again. I liked the song. Heck, I think I loved the song. I didn’t like Adam Connor, though. He wasn’t the reason I had come over. I certainly wasn’t falling for him or anything stupid like that. It didn’t matter what my heart was saying, it didn’t matter how my body lit up every time his skin was on mine. It didn’t.

Maybe.

“Relax, Lucy,” Adam muttered, and I noticed we had stopped moving. I took a deep breath and let everything out.

The song ended and started up again.

It was a really good song.

A few minutes into the song…or maybe it was only a few seconds in, I took a deep breath. In Adam’s arms, feeling unattached yet connected to something I couldn’t name, I had lost track of time, the world, and the situation I had put myself in. Suddenly, Adam let go of my arm, and I thought about fighting him for his hand, to have him hold it just for a few more seconds, just until the song ended, just until…but I didn’t want to be that girl who asked for something she knew she wouldn’t get.

Snap out of it, Lucy!

His fingertips touched my chin, and he tilted my head back and away from his chest.

I looked deep into his green eyes and found out that I didn’t want to look away. I didn’t want to interrupt whatever he was doing to my heart.

Witchcraft maybe?

His lips parted as his brows furrowed. Was that anger I saw in his eyes?

“Why are you crying?” he asked in a hard voice. “What happened?”

I frowned at him and touched my face. When I looked down, I could see wetness on my fingers. I was crying? When? How?

“I…” I started, but couldn’t find the words, didn’t know how to finish the thought as the tears kept coming. This must be what they call hormones. I already didn’t like it.

“Lucy…”

He tilted my head up again and his thumb wiped away my tears.

The tears didn’t stop coming. His hand on my back tightened, and I lost myself a little more, felt myself falling a little further. Despite having his hard body pressed against mine, his hand holding me in place, I could feel my body start to shake, the hopelessness of the day finally catching up to me.

I put my hands on his chest and tried to push him away, but it was like trying to push away a lion that didn’t want to move. He somehow managed to pull me closer, and I let him.

“Lucy,” he warned, his voice gravelly. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

We stared into each other’s eyes for so long.

“I’m pregnant,” I admitted in a broken voice. Adam let go of me.

It was the lowest moment of my life. Not that being pregnant was anything bad because for someone else, someone who wanted to have a baby, someone who was looking forward to having a baby…it was everything. For me…being pregnant was the confirmation I’d never wanted to receive.

I really was cursed.

“I did it,” I said, curling my arms around my stomach. “I’m just like them. I’ll be just like them. Bitter. Unhappy. Angry.” I lifted my eyes up to meet his. “Not at the baby. Never at the baby. I’ll always be angry at myself, and I’ll end up being angry at the world. I should’ve never said ‘I love you’ to Jameson. He was a flirt, yet I still said I loved him. I knew it would never work, but I still said those stupid words. And now I’m being punished. I should’ve…I shouldn’t—”

Why the hell was I still crying?

“I’m not crying because I’m sad,” I tried to explain, my voice rising. I was such a disgrace to womankind. “I’m angry. These are stupid angry tears. Or hormone tears, I don’t know! I don’t wanna cry!”

Then his lips were on mine and my words got lost between us with my gasp. His fingers tangled in my hair as I pushed myself up on my tiptoes to put my arms around his neck and pull him down to me. This one wasn’t a sweet kiss or a lazy one. This one was full of life, full of pain, pleasure, hate, anger, even a little bit of hope and love.

I took a deep breath through my nose.

Shit! The smell. The smell of his skin.

Don’t breathe, Lucy. Don’t breathe. He’s toxic. Don’t do it.

The hell with it! I moaned and breathed in his scent. His fingers tightened in my hair, and I let his tongue surround mine, licking, sucking, pulling, pushing as he slanted his head in every possible angle.

I was done for.

This was the end of me.

With a guttural groan, he tilted my head with his hands and went in deeper, took more from me. I grabbed at his collar, clawed at his neck, pushed my fingers into his hair, pulling on it. Hard. The hiss of pain he whispered into my mouth was beyond satisfying to hear, to feel vibrate through my body.

He tilted his head the other way and kissed me into oblivion. His body was towering over me, forcing me to move a couple steps back. It was perfect. It might have been the best moment of my life. At the very least, top five.

Hell, it was the only kiss that actually deserved to be called a kiss. The way his hand moved, his fingers threading into my hair, his palm cupping the back of my head with the perfect amount of gentleness and roughness, holding me just where he wanted me…the way I could almost hear his wild heartbeat…the way I pulled at his hair, clawed at his neck to get him closer so I could drown myself in him…

The way my entire body was begging for him, trembling to feel his hot skin on mine, every one of our movements jerky and frantic.

It was a beautiful mess.

It was the perfect mess.

My heart…my own frantic heartbeat drowned out every other noise but him.

Everything but him was just white noise.

Holy hell!

My body burning brighter and trembling harder in his arms, I let out a soundless protest when he took his lips away from mine. With my eyes still closed, I leaned forward to take them back, but his whispered words forced me to come back down to earth.

“Stop, Lucy. Stop.”

Wasn’t he aching just as much as I was? Didn’t he want me?

I wanted him. I wanted him inside me.

Oh God, I wanted to have his cock inside me. I wanted him to never stop kissing me. I never wanted that connection I’d just felt to break. That warmth. That tremble he gave me. That high I felt when his lips stopped my world.

“Look at me,” he whispered in a low voice, and I had to force my eyes to blink open so I could actually see him.

God, he looked so good. Those fucking eyes of his were killing me. I’d never look at that shade of green the same way again. Still breathless and unsettled, I let go of his hair and rested my hands on top of his shoulders. Jesus, his hair looked like he’d just had the best fuck of his life. I lived for kisses like that; the ones that made you feel like you’d been fucked good and well without even having a cock in your vagina.

“That was…holy hell, that was a good kiss, Adam Connor.” I cleared my throat and patted his shoulder. “You’re learning. Glad to help.”

“It was the only way to stop you from spewing bullshit and crying.”

I stopped breathing and my body turned rigid in his arms.

“What? You kissed me so I’d stop crying on you? You…you jerk!” I pulled away from him, but he caught my wrist in midair and roughly pulled me against his chest.

“Let me go,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Shut up,” he said hoarsely, his fingers loosening around my wrist. “Please, just shut up for a second.”

I didn’t move.

“How?” he asked after almost a full minute of looking into each other’s eyes, breathing in each other’s air. “Lucy, how are you pregnant?”

Oh, right…

I did my best to get my breathing under control and pushed my hair away from my face with my free hand. It was unsettling to have all of his attention on me, those eyes piercing my well-constructed walls as fast as I tried to build them up. Also I could still smell his goddamned cologne, which did stupid things to my poor, neglected vagina…and maybe my heart.

“When a penis enters a vagina and then—”

His eyes still open, he slanted his lips over mine and kissed me until my shoulders relaxed, and I melted in his arms again. Then he took them away from me.

How many times have I already told you that he was a bastard?

“For a second, just be honest with me, Lucy. Be yourself and tell me what’s going on.”

“What the hell do you think I’m doing?”

He started to lower his head again.

“Fine. Stop. Stop. Enough. Okay? Enough.”

“Tell me what’s going on without all the bullshit. You told me Callum hadn’t—”

Callum? As in Jake Callum? What the hell was he talking about?

“Jake Callum? What does he have to do with anything?”

He visibly relaxed in front of my eyes. “So it isn’t him?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I shook my head. “The baby is…” I touched my stomach again, looking down at it as if I could actually see the life growing inside me. “Jameson. My ex.”

“You’re sure? You’re sure you are pregnant then? You went to a doctor?”

“I took a pregnancy test today. Those are pretty accurate from what I hear.”

Now he was the one shaking his head. “You have to go to a doctor. Have you told him yet? Your ex?”

“Not yet. And I know. Of course I have to go to a doctor, but I missed my period and have been feeling off lately, so I took the test and…” I opened my arms. “Tada…a baby.” My throat was dry, and I didn’t think I sounded cheerful at all. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, right? And you were making fun of me when I said my family was cursed.” I gave him a dry laugh and it died out as quickly as it had started. “Who’s laughing now?”

He didn’t laugh. Not even a smile. I was losing my edge.

I took a deep breath and backed away from him. Dropping my head in my hands, I massaged my temple.

Why had I come over here again? Oh! Yes. I thought I could seduce Adam Connor because he owed me that much after teasing me the night before.

Nice job, Lucy. Awesome job…

“Are you going to call him…your ex? Will he come back here?” Adam’s voice was gentle, as if he were talking to a skittish horse.

I looked up at him and sighed. “I just found out a few hours ago. I didn’t really think about what I want to do.”

His eyebrows rose. “You’re not going to tell him.”

Was that a question?

Bristling, I grumbled, “What do you take me for?” I looked behind me to make sure the couch was there and sat my ass down before my legs decided it was time to play the damsel in distress. “This isn’t a book or a movie. There is no romantic story here, no arc in the plot, no happy ending. I’m not gonna hide the pregnancy from him and then pop back into his life when I can’t take the guilt and say ‘surprise’ after the kid is a few years old. Of course I’m going to call him; he won’t get off that easily, and he better help me through this.”

The couch dipped, and Adam sat down next to me, our arms touching. Did he have to sit that close? Really?

And was I still interested in seducing him?

After that kiss? Hell yes, I was.

“I’ve decided you’re going to make love to me,” I announced, looking straight ahead.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“No, I don’t think I did. Could you repeat that?”

“You’re going to make love to me.”

“Is that an order?”

“No, just a…fact. You’ve been married, so you must know how to make love. And if not, you’re a sort of, kind of good actor. Act.”

“And you don’t?”

“As you can imagine, I know how to do the grand slam, bumping uglies, and all that stuff. I…” I turned my head and glanced at him. “I don’t think I’ve ever made love to anyone.”

“Your ex?” he asked, his disbelieving eyes on me. “I thought you said you loved him.”

“I thought I did. I mean, I did. But he had a giant thing in between his legs and as I already told you, I have a thing for those, as in I like my fucks to be good and hard.” I shrugged and looked away. Was that heat I was feeling on my face?

What the hell, Lucy?

“And how do you think making love works exactly?”

I gave him a quick glance and saw that his lips were twitching. I could deal with amusement. I twisted my body, pulled my leg up on the couch, and faced him.

“I believe it requires looking into each other’s eyes at all times. A slow entry. A little gasp and a little moan here and there. We’ll skip whispering I love yous to each other, of course. Other than that, I believe it’s a slow thing. Maybe an orgasm? If you can manage, but no pressure, of course. Just because your kiss improved, I’m not gonna assume—”

“And you want me to make love to you why? You don’t think I can fuck you?”

“Who knows. I’m sure you have your moves, but I want you to make love to me because I assumed, being an actor and all, you could give a good performance, so I could have that at least once in my life.”

He tilted his head, looking all confused and sexy. “Once in your life?”

“The curse?” I prompted. “I’m having a baby. I did exactly what my mom did. I’m not saying I love you to anyone ever again, hence not making love to anyone again.”

His eyes roamed my face, and he shook his head like I was being ridiculous and he didn’t know what to do with me. “Lucy…I…”

I held my breath and waited for his words. If nothing else, I wanted his lips on mine again. I’d settle for that, too, if this offer didn’t work out.

He touched my cheek with the back of his hand, then my still swollen lips with his fingertips. “Do you remember what I asked you last night? Nothing changed. Admit that you like me and I’ll show you how to make love.”

“I’m reduced to bargaining for a ‘maybe’ orgasm.”

“I don’t think I’m asking for too much, do you?”

“Okay. I’ll give you a thirty-two.”

“And that means…?”

“Out of a hundred, I’m giving you a thirty-two. That’s how much I like you.”

He seemed to think on it for a few beats then smiled at me.

“I can live with that. You are forty-nine for me.”

Dumbfounded, I widened my eyes and, without even realizing what I was doing, scooted back from him. “No.”

He raised an eyebrow. “No?”

My heart pounding in my chest, I said, “Fifty is like edging toward love. Take it back. Give me a thirty-five or something.” His fingertips reached for me again, and I scrambled back as far as I could go. “Take it back.”

There could be no talk of love between us; I wouldn’t fall for that again, like I had with Jameson.

After studying me for what seemed like an hour, he rose up from his seat and leaned down to rest his lips against my ear. “I will always be honest with you, Lucy. My son is in love with you. Who knows, maybe I’m falling for you too? Is it too hard to believe that I like what I see when I look at you? That I like talking to you, arguing with you, watching you laugh with my son, watching you smile. Maybe after I make love to you, I’ll fall a little more. So, I think forty-nine is a good number. Ask me again in the morning, I’ll let you know how you did.”

I leaned away, my back arching against the arm of the couch. He was becoming dangerous. His mouth, his eyes, his body…everything about him was getting too dangerous to stay close to him. Was it enough to deter me from having him inside me? Well, not really. Not yet.

Like I’d said before, for once and for all, I was ready to make love, and my vagina seemed to have chosen him as its victim. I was okay with that choice.

“No answer? No objection?”

I shrugged and tried to relax into the couch. “I don’t believe you, so it’s okay. You are free to say whatever you wish to say. I’m not someone who falls for flowery words.”

His eyes bored into mine, and I swallowed the thick lump in my throat. Even though I didn’t believe him, that didn’t mean it wasn’t affecting me.

He straightened and fixed the cuffs of his shirt, drawing my eyes to his hands.

“Stay right where you are,” he ordered and started to walk away.

For a brief second, the fog in my brain cleared up enough that I remembered Aiden. Jolting up from the couch, I blurted, “Aiden? Where is Aiden?”

Adam stopped in his tracks toward the hallway. “We are leaving for Paris tomorrow, Dan, Aiden, and I. He is spending the night with his best friend.” He paused, his lips stretching into an unexpected smile. “One of his best friends, I suspect. He is at a sleepover, Lucy. You’re all mine.”

“He is with Henry? That British actress’ kid?”

“You know his best friend’s name?”

“Of course I know his name.”

“Don’t be so surprised, Lucy. Not everyone cares about those things.”

With that, he walked away.

Now what did that mean? And what about making love?

“What about the sex?” I shouted after him since there was no one else but us in the house. Plopping back down, I pulled my legs up, laid my head on the arm of the couch, and muttered to myself, “What about my lovemaking?”

Hesitantly, I raised my hand and rested it on my stomach. Why didn’t I feel different? Wasn’t I supposed to feel different? Shutting my eyes, I took a deep breath and just let myself be still.

Before I could let my thoughts pull me to a place I didn’t want to go, I heard Adam’s footsteps. A second later, his fingertips trailed over my lips, and I parted my mouth.

I opened my eyes to see him standing over me. He looked just as hot when he was upside down.

“Are we doing it or not?” I asked, keeping my tone neutral. My eyes took notice of how his shirt wasn’t tucked into his pants anymore, and I almost, almost squirmed on the couch. I was about to have sex with Adam Connor. I couldn’t show him how much I was ready to get rid of my stupid pants. “If not, I have a—”

“Always the romantic,” he murmured, almost to himself. When I saw him lowering his head, I shut my mouth and let him kiss me upside down. As much as I adored that scene in Spider Man, it was weird being kissed upside down. Our teeth crashed, he bit down on my lower lip then slid his tongue in my mouth, and fuck me if the way he was kissing me didn’t make my toes curl. When he was about to pull back, I groaned softly, put my hands on his cheeks, and arched into the kiss.

Just a little more.

Surprisingly, he didn’t stop the kiss, but slowed it down. I guessed we were getting into the making love part. Nice and easy was practically the slogan for it, wasn’t it? I felt his hand on my stomach and my eyes opened. He must have sensed it, or my body had made it apparent I was surprised to have his hands on me, because his lips stopped moving, and he pulled back to meet my eyes. Breathless, I waited to see what he was going to do.

His hand slid down farther. Intrigued, I raised an eyebrow at him before I looked down to watch his big, beautiful hand. And that forearm…it was right in front of me, begging to be stroked.

Shit!

Why do you even have a thing for forearms, Lucy?

Thanks to the way I was lounging on his couch, I had a perfect view of his hand. I clutched at the cushion under me and watched his fingertips lift my shirt and go straight under my leggings.

This…this territory was what I knew.

I squirmed in place and felt Adam’s breath right next to my ear. Then his hand cupped my pussy, and he pushed two of his thick fingers inside me without even hesitating.

“So wet and ready for me, Lucy,” he muttered, his tongue coming out to leave a wet trail on my neck.

I let out a soft moan as I arched my neck. Almost shaking with excitement, I circled my hips, managing to draw those skillful fingers deeper inside me.

“You’re soaked, Lucy. My cock will slide right into you.”

“That’s exactly what I want,” I said dreamily.

He pulled his fingers out, and I let go of the cushions to clutch his arm.

He froze over me, and I waited to see what he’d do. Sure, I wanted his cock, but just in case he couldn’t manage to make me come, I wanted his fingers to do the job. He started stroking me. At first, softly, barely touching, his slick fingers ghosting over and around my clit. Them he dipped his fingers down and inside me, giving me a few deep thrusts as I practically hugged his arm like a koala. Then he took them out and repeated the torture.

“You’re playing with me,” I gasped out when he withdrew his fingers for the fifth time. “I don’t like it.”

I felt his teeth against my neck, my earlobe. “Oh? I thought you wanted me to play with you.” Another swirl around my clit and then three fingers entered me.

I groaned and let my legs fall open. “Is torture a part of making love? Either make me come or let’s skip to the good stuff.”

“You don’t get to make all the rules, Lucy. Either we do this my way or we don’t do it at all.”

“And you say this after you make me burn?”

“Your choice.”

He was crazy; it was the only explanation, and that was why I didn’t like him. I wanted him though, and it felt like I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. Hell, even my vagina had readied itself as if it were going to have sex with Henry Cavill.

“Fine.” I huffed and moaned loudly when he pressed hard on my clit and made my eyes roll back in my head.

That unbelievably sexy arm of his? It was still in my hands, and I was stroking it up and down, trying to rile him up just as much as he was riling me up, ghosting my fingers over the hairs on his arms, clawing at him when he got me a little too close to the edge.

“Please, make me come,” I begged, beyond crazy for the hot and heavy release that was dancing right at the tip of his fingers.

Despite all my objections, he pulled his fingers out of me and trailed my wetness on my stomach, dragging my shirt with it until it rested under my boobs. Then he pulled his arm out of my grasp and moved to my side.

My eyes followed his every move, and I did my best to keep my eyes away from his crotch area.

Wordlessly, he pulled me up from the couch and took off my shirt. My heart beating wildly, I let him take off every piece of clothing on me. When I was completely naked, his gaze moved over me and my entire body trembled from the inside just from the expression on his face alone.

“You have one minute.”

Without waiting for another offer, I walked the two steps that separated us and started to unbutton his shirt. It was the very thing I’d wanted to do when I was spying on him over the wall that first time. He lifted his arms up for me, and I unrolled the cuffs layer by layer. Before I pushed the shirt off him, our eyes met and a chill moved down my spine.

So annoyingly handsome. Hungry. Powerful.

Then I moved my hands over his broad chest and those strong shoulders. “You should work out more. You’re not quite there yet,” I said, the edge of my lip tipping up. He didn’t need to work out at all. He was perfect just the way he was, and it was annoying as hell.

“Every word out of your mouth…” He shook his head.

He reached out and twisted my nipple as an answer, making me groan. When those amazing lips went for my neck, sucking and biting as he played with my boobs, I finally went for his pants and undid the button. My hands were already shaking, too excited about what I’d find in there.

I trailed a fingertip down the zipper and felt something hard. That was all the time I had to feel though because he was lifting me up and dumping me on the couch.

“Time’s up,” he said through clenched teeth.

I didn’t have it in me to pout; I was more interested in getting him inside me.

I made a point of closing my eyes and not looking at his body when he took off his pants and climbed onto the couch. His big hands pushed my knees open.

“Can you make love on a couch?” I asked, a little breathless already. “Isn’t that against the rules?”

I’d probably die before the whole thing was over. Now that we were actually naked, just like I’d wanted for quite some time, I was starting to freak out for no apparent reason.

“Where would you want to make love?” he asked, his hands moving down from my thighs toward my very excited vagina.

“I don’t know.” I squirmed in place when he pulled my pussy lips open with his thumbs. “Isn’t it supposed to be in bed?”

“I had a few fantasies of fucking you right here; couch will do.”

Then I was suddenly pulled down, and I squealed, goose bumps rising on my entire body. I was scared shitless to open my eyes and look down.

“You’re not going to open your eyes?” He took my breast in his mouth, his tongue swirling around my hard nipple, then sucking and biting.

“Shit!”

I arched my neck, practically melting under his mouth’s assault on my poor boob. His other hand cupped the lonely one and tweaked my nipple.

“Answer me.”

“I don’t want to be disappointed just yet.”

“The four-inch thing again?” A not-so-gentle bite had me hissing and pretty much dripping under him.

“Yeah.”

“Open your eyes, Lucy.”

I didn’t hesitate.

Wow.

My eyes met his and he was all I could see. That determined face. Those round shoulders.

I was lying right under Adam Connor, and I didn’t mind one bit that I was giving the control over to him.

“I told you I don’t play games, Lucy. Are you sure this is okay?”

Whatever the hell did that mean?

“Does it look like I’m not okay with anything? Come on.” I arched up and reached up, moaning when he attacked my lips with the same amount of greed. I lowered my voice. “I want your cock in me, Adam.”

“You want it?”

“Yes.” I smiled. “All four inches of it.”

He laughed, a low, throaty sound that vibrated through my body. I smiled back.

“Okay, Lucy. Close your eyes.”

I closed them and then curved my arms around the arm of the couch. I was nothing but a trembling wreck when I felt his lips next to my ear.

“I’m going to un-break your heart, Lucy,” he promised in a low voice.

I couldn’t stop my body from shivering.

“My heart isn’t broken, Adam,” I whispered back just as quietly.

His hand moved down from my breast.

Lower.

Lower.

Leaving a burning path in its wake.

A finger teased my opening.

“It is,” he whispered, leaving open-mouthed kisses along my neck.

Was this making love? Torturing each other until one of you lost your mind?

“It is,” he repeated right before he took my nipple between his teeth and pulled. I wanted to close my legs, or touch myself, or hell, hump the couch. “And I’m going to make it whole again. I’m going to heal it so you can feel what you do to me.”

I’d never been so ready, so slick, so scared.

Then I felt him move away from me and heard the sound of foil ripping open.

I counted. It took him around seven seconds to put it on. Was that good news? Had I counted right?

I was breathing hard and still holding on to the cushion under me as if my life depended on it.

“Is it in?”

I mean, I thought I was feeling fingers moving in and out of me, but maybe it was his cock? Maybe life was that cruel?

“Lucy…if nothing else, just because of that comment I’m about to ruin you for any other man.”

My lips quirked up. “Oh? You wanted me to lie and say your dick is the biggest gift to humanity?”

“Let’s see if your smart mouth will be able to do anything but scream and moan in a few seconds.”

It didn’t even take a few seconds for me to release my first groan. He pushed his cock into me, stretching me wide open. When my hips started sliding up, his hands grabbed my legs and adjusted them around his back.

“Oh, shit,” I cursed when the move only pushed him deeper into me. “Oh, shit.”

I opened my eyes and found him looking straight into mine. I swallowed and held his gaze. He pulled his hips back, hands still holding my thighs, and gave a little more of himself.

I bit back my groan.

“More?”

I nodded.

Fuck, yes!

He looked down at where we were connected and watched his cock pull out of me, which made my brain go all mushy. Then his thumb found my clit, pushing, circling, stroking, and yet he still pushed in deeper.

“You’re creaming all around me, Lucy. Dare I say you like my cock?”

I might have whimpered. He might have groaned. I can’t remember a few seconds of it.

I let one of my legs fall down from his back and lifted the other one so I could throw it over the couch.

“Is that your way of saying you want more?”

I couldn’t laugh; something was lodged in my heart, making it hard to do much of anything.

“I doubt you have more to give.”

My answer was a deep fucking thrust that had my toes curling with the exquisiteness of it.

I gasped and smiled. I let go of the cushion so I could run my hand all over his chest and scratch his burning skin, leave a mark, my mark.

“Oh, Lucy,” he rasped. “Oh, what am I gonna do with you?”

He put one of his hands next to my waist, the other one on the arm of the couch.

He drew out that monster cock of his then pushed it back in farther as he settled over me.

I was lost. Gone. Completely and utterly shattered.

He was so deep in me, filling me to the brim. I was trying my best to stay still so I could get used to his size and not lose it in two seconds flat. I wanted to watch him work. I wanted to see how he made love.

“Ready?” he asked, his body as tight as a rubber band.

“Do your worst,” I replied.

And he did. Oh, he did. The thrust…that delicious thrust deep into me.

“Holy fuck,” I muttered, my eyes rolling back in my head.

His next thrust had me scrambling to hold on to him. Every time he pushed harder into me, jarring my bones with pleasure, I clawed at his body. To push him away or pull him in deeper, I had no idea.

I had to admit, he was kind of huge. Okay, fine, he was absolutely huge. But, hell, the thickness, that was what was killing me in the most perfect way.

“Jesus, Lucy,” he rasped out, going back to more shallow thrusts. His body still covering mine, moving against mine like hot liquid, he looked at me. There was something happening behind his eyes, but before I could put my finger on it, he pressed his mouth against mine and kissed me.

I ran my hands up his back and threaded my fingers through his hair, groaning my pleasure into his mouth.

“Big enough for you?” he asked when we broke apart so we could breathe.

“Just,” I answered, my body a shivering mess under him.

His lips latched onto my nipple and it pulled at something right between my legs. My muscles clenched around Adam, and he cursed.

“Do you feel my cock?” he murmured, his eyes as dark as the night outside.

“Yes,” I moaned, trying to open my legs wider so I could take him deeper into me.

He pushed his hand between the couch cushion and my waist and lifted his body up from mine.

“Does it feel good?”

I bit my lip and nodded. He was thrusting into me so slow, dragging my nerves all over the place.

His lips parted, and he whispered, “Good. Now you’ll never forget how it feels to have all of me inside you.”

I wasn’t ready for the way he started driving into me, his hand holding my waist in place as he pushed his cock all the way in only to pull it back and work it into me again.

He was hitting me so deep, so hard, there was no way I could hold back my screams and groans, nor did I want to.

I started to feel myself tighten around him, his own moans and groans a distant sound to my ears. My toes curled and something started to grow inside me, building right in my core. Adam kept fucking me at a relentless pace, his hips grinding into me every time he went in too deep. The sound…oh, the sound of our thighs slapping together, my wetness…

“That’s it, Lucy. That’s it.”

I grabbed on to Adam’s hard-as-stone biceps and started to shake with my orgasm. Oh, when this was over, I was going to kill him.

“Come on, Lucy,” he murmured through clenched teeth. “That’s the best you’ve got? Give me more. Give me everything you have.”

Just when I thought the pleasure rippling through my body was about to stop, he changed his angle and hit a different spot in me and it all started again.

“Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!” I kept chanting and threw my hand back in the hopes of grabbing on to the arm of the couch. What my hand connected with wasn’t the couch; it was the lamp shade on the side table just next to the couch.

My body burning up with my release from the inside out, I ignored the crashing sound and tried to calm my body down instead. He was not going to give me a heart attack! My body still shaking, I pulled at Adam’s hair.

“You have to stop,” I gasped, my words barely making any sense. “Something’s wrong. Adam, stop.”

He slowed down his thrusts, but they were still too deep, making my boobs bounce at every thrust. The tip of his cock was still touching that perfect spot. I was feeling too damn much.

My legs were still shaking, my body still on fire. “You bastard,” I managed to say. “You said you’d make love to me, not fuck me out of my mind.”

His eyes followed mine and saw that I was trying to keep my legs steady with my hand. Leaning back, he pushed his arm under one of my legs, holding it up and straight against his chest.

“There are no rules, Lucy. This is how I make love to you.”

“Oh, you stupid, handsome asshole. You broke my vagina.”

He pulled out until only the head was in, curved my leg behind his back, and then slowly slid all the way back inside. He had me moaning under him in seconds.

“Your pussy feels perfectly fine to me,” he murmured and took my lips again.

He was pushing into me so slowly, playing with my nerves.

Since it was all shot to hell, I held his face in my hands and stared at him. “Make me come again, Adam. I want to come on your cock again.” If this was my one night with him, I wanted to come around him and on him as many times as possible.

“Fuck, Lucy, you’re still pulsing around me. Don’t worry, I’ll make you come around me all night.”

I let go of his face and arched my back, pulling him inside me again. He licked my nipple and the wetness, the warmth of his tongue made my entire body shudder under him.

“I love seeing you tremble under me.”

I arched an eyebrow and stayed quiet. My entire focus was on arching my back and moving my hips so I could meet his thrusts and take his cock deeper into me, where it needed to be. “And this pussy…” He pulled out completely, giving me my first look at his hard, thick cock as he held it in his hand.

God! I really liked his cock. I really, really liked his cock.

Then two of his fingers were pushing into me, and he was swirling my wetness all over my stomach. “Look how wet it is for me. Look how much it loves my cock.”

Oh, he had no idea.

While his eyes were taking in every inch of my body and how I glistened with my own juices spread out all over me, my eyes were on his cock and that thick vein I could see through the condom.

I promised myself I would take him into my mouth before the night ended, with the sole purpose of making him just as crazy as he was making me.