To Hate Adam Connor

Adam

“File it today. I don’t care what you have to do, I want you to get it done by the end of the day.”

On the other end of the line was my lawyer, Laura Corey. “Give me a second, Adam.”

I closed my eyes and waited.

“Okay. We’re filing for sole custody of Aiden, then. It’s not gonna be an easy process. Are you ready for it?”

“I want my son, Laura.” There was no question about it anymore; no reason to give Adeline time to come to her senses.

“Okay, Adam. Okay. We’ll start the process today. Do you want me to get in touch with your new PR team and discuss how we are going to move forward with this new development? I have to be honest with you, I’d recommend you to talk to a news outlet you trust or at least release a press statement. It’s better if you get ahead of everything and give a short explanation instead of letting them run wild with it.”

“I’m not looking to make a big production out of this, Laura.”

“And I’m not saying you should. Just think about it. In these situations, it’s better to offer an explanation instead of staying silent and letting the press run wild with it. And after last night’s photos, trust me, they will run wild with it.”

“Which reminds me,” I started, something heavy taking residence in my stomach. “I want Aiden’s photos off the Internet, and I need the names of those photographers. They knew what they were doing was illegal. It shouldn’t have happened.”

She sighed, the sound making me even more agitated. “You’re right, it is illegal, but it’s hard to implement the law. I’ll have my investigator try and get the names of the photographers, but you know they protect each other. It’ll be a long shot.”

“I still want you to try.”

“Of course I will. We’ll talk again.”

She ended the call. With the phone still in my hand, I walked out to the patio and called Adeline. Again. The night before when Dan had come back from Adeline’s place without Aiden and let me know that she had left the city with him, without giving me any notice even though she knew it was my day to take him, I’d called her repeatedly until she answered her phone. It hadn’t been a fun phone conversation. When she tried to explain to me why she’d had to take him with her, I was speechless.

She answered the call on the fifth ring. “Adam. Hello.”

“Adeline. Where are you?”

“We just landed at LAX.”

“Are you heading home? I’ll send Dan to get Aiden. Then you and me…we need to talk.”

“Adam.” She sighed. “I know I messed up. You have every right to be mad at me, but I’m perfectly capable of dropping Aiden off myself.”

“And I’m telling you, you don’t have to.”

“I want to, Adam. Please give me a chance to explain. I want to apologize to you face to face, and I think it’ll be good for Aiden to see us together.”

I didn’t want her apology, and I didn’t want to see her, especially after seeing the photos of Aiden crying as he stood in the middle of a paparazzi frenzy. As far as I was concerned, we were done. In every way.

After I ended my conversation with Adeline, I had another talk with my new PR team and set up everything that needed to be dealt with. As much as I wanted to keep everything private and didn’t agree with my lawyer, I knew it would spill out; at least this way I’d have control over how much and what had to spill.

An hour later, Adeline walked in holding Aiden’s hand. The night before when I’d called Adeline, she’d said he was tuckered out and sleeping, so I couldn’t talk to him about what had happened and how he was doing.

Every time I dropped him off at Adeline’s place, he’d get quiet and look at me as if I was betraying him. The look he was giving me when he walked in was the exact same look and it pierced something in my chest.

Not knowing what I was dealing with, I knelt in front of him to get a hug. He was having none of it. He stood completely immobile against me as I rounded my arms around him.

With my arms still around Aiden, I glanced up at Adeline. She pursed her lips and mouthed a quick sorry.

I sighed and let go of my son.

“Hey, buddy. I missed you.”

He muttered a low hi under his breath.

“Did you have fun in New York with your mom?”

Another non-answer in the form of a mumble.

“Aiden,” Adeline murmured gently as she let go of his hand and fixed his hair. “Can you give your dad and me a few minutes?”

“Okay.”

Without meeting my eyes, he skirted around me and headed toward his room, only to stop midway.

His eyes met mine fleetingly as I slowly rose up. “I’ve been good, so can I ask for something?”

“Of course,” I answered. He’d get pretty much whatever he wanted from me at that moment if it meant he’d look me in the eye.

“Can I ask for Lucy?”

“He’s been asking for her ever since we landed,” Adeline added.

Of course he’d ask for Lucy. I’d want her too if I were him. Matter of fact, I wanted her too. That was another matter I hadn’t had time to handle…not that you could ever make the mistake of trying to ‘handle’ Lucy, but we needed to talk about that kiss. As much as it made me sound like a pussy, after the night before…we needed to talk, and after that, I needed to kiss her again—most likely to shut her up.

“We can call her, buddy, but I don’t know if she’s busy.”

“Can we call her now? If we call her now, we can ask her if she missed me. ’Cause if she did, she’ll come for me, I know it.”

I faced Adeline. “Can you wait while I call her?”

“Of course, Adam,” she replied with a gentle smile, touching my arm for a brief moment before heading toward the living room as I reached for my phone.

Aiden took a few small steps toward me, but he was still being distant. I hoped seeing Lucy would help. I dialed her number, and she answered on the third ring.

Her opening line was, “Are you calling to get a few pointers?”

Who knew what she was talking about. “Pointers on what?”

“Kissing, of course. I mean, you weren’t the worst, I guess, but…I don’t know, I think you could use a few pointers, and if I think that, that means you can really use a few pointers.”

Even though Adeline was sitting just a few feet away and Aiden was looking at me with hopeful eyes, my lips twitched.

“Because you’ve done such a good job of it yourself?”

There was a short moment of silence. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just saying, I happen to think you could use a few pointers yourself. I don’t want to break your heart, but…”

When she spoke her voice was high-pitched. “But…? But what?”

“I’m afraid this is not a good time. We’ll have to discuss it some other time.”

She growled. “I’m the best kisser you could’ve ever had, you asshole.”

“If you say so, Lucy.”

“If I say so? If I say so? Who do you even think you are?”

The small twitch turned into a full smile. If she had been standing next to me, I would have loved to show her who I was, but unfortunately for us, she wasn’t. Instead, my son was pulling on my shirt, trying to get my attention.

“Can I talk to her? I think she missed me. I think I should be the one to talk to her.”

I nodded at Aiden and held up my finger.

“There is someone here who wants to talk to you, Lucy. Do you have a moment?”

“Now you ask me if I have a moment? After you ruined my afternoon? And who wants to talk? Is it Dan? I just talked to him this morning.”

She was talking to Dan? The question came to the tip of my tongue, but I held it back.

“No, not Dan,” I said curtly. Without any further explanation, I handed the phone to Aiden.

“Don’t push her, okay?” I said gently. “If she is busy, you can always see her some other time.”

“Hello? Lucy? Is it you?” He held the phone with both hands and focused his gaze on his shoes. “I’m Aiden. Do you remember me?”

I glanced at Adeline to see what she was doing and found her eyes on us. She gave a small nod and looked away. Having her in my house felt strange, like she didn’t belong in my life. So much had changed in so little time.

“Did you miss me? If you miss me you can come see me now.”

“Aiden, don’t push her,” I reminded him quietly, giving him my attention. He didn’t even spare me a glance.

“Okay. Can you bring Olive, too? She must have missed me too. Uh-huh. When will she come then? Okay. I’m waiting for you, so you can’t be late.”

Whatever she said on the other end of the line, Aiden smiled and nodded to himself. “Five minutes, Lucy. Don’t be late, okay?”

Quickly, he handed the phone back to me and ran to his room.

“Aiden, be careful,” I yelled after him, but I was still being ignored.

After making sure Lucy wasn’t still on the line, I put away my phone and made my way back to Adeline. Halfway over there, I remembered Lucy’s fondness for that wall and instead decided to stay close to the glass doors so I could unlock the door for her when she came over with murder on her mind. I leaned against the glass and met Adeline’s eyes.

For a beat we both watched each other in silence and just took each other in.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

“Up until yesterday, I was doing fine, Adeline.”

“You can’t possibly be blaming me, Adam.”

“And who am I supposed to blame, Adeline? Should I blame Aiden for wandering out of the car on his own?”

Adeline sighed and pushed her long blond hair behind her ear. “He shouldn’t have gotten out of the car until someone came to take him, but you’re right, he is not the one to blame.”

“How nice of you to agree with me on something.”

Hurt flashed across her eyes, but she covered it up pretty quickly.

She got up from the couch. Her white jeans were hugging her long legs while the gray shirt she was wearing was relatively loose on her breasts. Still, I could see that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Whether it was a tactic or not, I had no idea, but I wasn’t falling for anything—especially not into bed with her.

As she started to make her way toward me, her phone started ringing in her purse, and she looked back at it. Then she moved back to the couch to take the call.

“I’m waiting on a call from the director in New York, Adam. Do you mind if I take it?”

She didn’t wait for my answer.

At that exact moment, someone banged on the glass doors, and I jolted out of my thoughts about how much I should tell Adeline of my plans. I turned my head and was met with Lucy’s angry eyes. I smiled. I was starting to acknowledge the fact that I loved seeing her all worked up and ready to spit fire at me.

My little warrior.

She lifted her hand, and before she could break the glass with her pounding, I unlocked the door so she could get in.

“Asshole,” she muttered as she was passing behind me.

“Excuse me?” I asked as I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Ass-hole,” she repeated, louder this time. “When was the last time you kissed someone anyway?” she asked, looking up at me. “That was awful. Such a big disappointment.”

I leaned in and held back a smile when I saw her body do a little sway toward me. My lips grazed her ear, and I whispered, “Are you trying to make me kiss you again, Lucy? Is this your way of asking me without having to ask me? You think I’ll fall for it?”

She made a low growl in her throat and this time I did nothing to hide my smile. “Because if it is, it’s working. I’d love nothing more than to kiss you senseless again and watch you cling to me for dear life.”

I caught the shiver that ran through her body, the slight bend of her neck that brought my lips closer to her skin. It was sexy as hell and just as tempting. Catching the reflection of Adeline on her phone with her back to us, I made sure my nose gently bumped her skin and took a deep breath. “But this time…this time I’d like to finish what you started. I’d like to peel off your clothes. Touch you.” I pressed a quick, small kiss on her neck. “Kiss you…and kiss you…and kiss you…I’ll kiss you as long as you want, sweetheart. And I’ll still be kissing you while you’re coming on my fingers.” I leaned in a little farther, making sure my lips were right next to her ear. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her tongue darting out of her mouth as she secretly tried to lick her lower lip. “And on my cock,” I added, my voice coming out raspier than I wanted. “I’ll look into your eyes and kiss you until your lips are all red and swollen. I bet you’d love that.”

When I leaned back, her body had gone completely still, but her eyes…ah, those gray eyes were melting. They were melting for me in a way I would’ve loved to watch were she under me, over me, or wrapped up around me.

“I…I…”

“Yes, Lucy?” I prompted.

Her eyes slowly narrowed into slits. When she crooked her finger for me to get closer and opened her mouth to speak again, she was trying her best to cover her reaction to me with her sharp words.

“I wouldn’t touch your lips with a ten-foot pole, Adam Connor,” she whispered as her chest rose and fell rapidly. “And I seriously doubt you can fuck me like I like to be fucked with a four-inch dick.”

I leaned back and smiled down at her. “You think I’m four inches?”

“Adam?” Adeline called; I saw Lucy’s body tense further.

I took a step back from her and turned my body toward Adeline.

“This is our famous Lucy.” I let her know.

Her eyes found Lucy and a smile spread across her lips as she came forward to greet my firecracker.

She was our Lucy, Aiden’s and mine.

I caught Lucy’s eyes as she glanced between me and Adeline, but she didn’t say anything. When Adeline reached her, I backed up and watched her kiss Lucy on the cheek.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Adeline said genuinely.

“Ah.” Lucy glanced at me, her eyes probing, but when she couldn’t get a read on me, she focused on Adeline instead. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you too.”

“You should see how Aiden’s eyes light up whenever he talks about you.”

“He mentioned me?” Lucy asked as a sweet smile formed on those lips I was starting to become very interested in.

Adeline shook her head and touched her arm. “He talks about you nonstop. You’re his new favorite thing. I’m so glad I caught you today. I’ve been meaning to tell Adam to bring you around one day so we could meet.”

His new favorite thing…Adeline and her words. And why in the world would she want me to bring Lucy around?

“Oh?” Lucy asked, just as confused as me.

Adeline glanced at me over her shoulder. “Adam mentioned that he had to let go of Anne, the nanny before you.” She faced Lucy before I could interrupt. “He didn’t explain why, of course, but Anne was a little too interested in what was going on around here if you ask me, so I’m happy he found a new nanny instead.”

“Huh? That’s weird,” Lucy said, eyeing me over Adeline’s shoulder. I shook my head and kept silent.

“Lucy is not a nanny,” I corrected her.

Adeline turned back to me again. “But Aiden said she is looking after him.”

“She is, but she isn’t his nanny. She was kind enough to spend time with him last week because I couldn’t find anyone.”

Adeline kept glancing between Lucy and me.

“I live next door,” Lucy piped in. “Temporarily,” she added. “I’m Olive’s friend. Olive Thorn? Jason Thorn’s wife? I’m sure you’ve heard of her.” Lucy’s eyes slid to me.

You’re on your own, sweetheart.

Adeline’s face lit up as I watched the awkward interaction between them. I could’ve helped, I suppose, but where was the fun in that?

“The writer? That’s the Olive Aiden keeps mentioning?” Adeline turned to me. “I knew they were your neighbors, but I didn’t think they were your next-door neighbors.”

“What difference does it make?”

Adeline rolled her eyes and pulled Lucy farther into the living room. “Come on, we need to sit down for this.”

Lucy’s confused eyes met mine as they passed me, and I smiled down at her.

“I adored her book, and I heard the opening numbers for the movie were huge. I’d love to meet her too,” Adeline continued as soon as they were sitting down.

“She’ll be happy to hear that,” Lucy replied.

“I hope you don’t think this is awkward, Lucy. Since you’re spending time with Aiden, I’d like to get to know you a little more. I know he loves you, but…”

I shook my head. So that’s where she is going.

“Aiden,” I yelled, and a few seconds later we all heard his running feet coming toward us. When he saw Lucy, he changed course and ran toward her. Lucy got up, and Aiden threw himself to her and hugged her legs. She grunted with the force, and the laugh that came after the grunt was beautiful.

“Hey, little human,” she said affectionately.

Aiden tilted his head back and looked up at her with such pleasure.

“You came!”

“Of course I did. How could I miss seeing you?”

“You were almost late, though, so you’ll have to stay longer.”

Aiden dropped his arms down and waited for her answer, his eyes scheming.

Seeing him so happy eased the worry in my chest. Maybe he wasn’t that scared anymore, now that he had his Lucy. For a brief second I wondered what Lucy would’ve done if she had been in that car with him. Would she have left him behind and trusted the assistants to take care of him? Or would she have even forgotten about him in the first place?

I seriously doubted it.

Lucy made a show of checking her nonexistent watch. “Ah, I can’t tell, how late was I?”

Aiden grabbed her wrist and stared at it for a while. “You were an hour late, Lucy! Now you’ll have to stay for an hour.”

“Huh, look at that. And here I thought it was only five minutes. I guess I’m staying for an hour then.”

Aiden jumped up and raised his fist. “Yes!”

“Aiden,” I called to get his attention, and he looked at me. He had that sweet smile only a child can have when they’ve tricked their favorite person into spending time with them. “I still have to talk to your mom, so maybe you can take Lucy into the backyard and tell her what you were up to in New York?”

“Okay,” he answered readily, his eyes still shining with excitement. Grabbing Lucy’s hand, he dragged her out to the backyard.

“Ah, Adam,” Lucy mumbled before I could slide the door closed. Aiden let go of her hand and raced toward the pool.

“Aiden, slow down,” I yelled after him.

After shooting a quick glance at Adeline, Lucy smiled and quietly whispered, “She doesn’t know why you fired the nanny?”

“She does.”

“Then she doesn’t know you had me arrested?”

“She knows that, too.”

Her brows drew together, and she gave me a long look before walking away to join Aiden as she muttered under her breath, her voice too low for me to hear.

Adeline’s eyes were following them as Aiden ran back to meet Lucy so he could drag her again.

“She is babysitting him?”

“If she isn’t busy, she comes over for a few hours until I come back. Or Dan watches him.”

“You trust her after the Anne incident?”

“You mean the incident where our son almost drowned?”

Adeline knew about the ‘pool’ incident, but not so surprisingly she showed no signs of worry for Aiden.

She rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to say it like that. We wouldn’t want anyone to hear what happened.”

Of course she wouldn’t. I shook my head and tried to let it go.

“So you trust her? How about Jason and Olive?”

I didn’t even need to think about the answer to that question. “I wouldn’t leave him with her if I didn’t. Plus, he enjoys spending time with Jason and Olive, too.” I glanced outside and saw the duo sitting on the lounge chairs as Aiden chatted animatedly. “From what I can see and hear from Jason, so do they.” She wasn’t asking about Jason and Olive for Aiden’s sake.

I didn’t feel the need to mention to her that we had put a listening device on Aiden’s toy to make sure everything was okay. Come to think of it, I didn’t feel the need to explain anything to Adeline anymore.

Sitting across from her, I let go of her a bit more. A bit more of what she was to me. What she’d been to me.

“How are you doing?” she asked when I stayed silent.

“Good, Adeline.”

“Are you sure? I know you took a break with Michel, too. I’m here if you want to talk, Adam.”

I raised my brows, and she had the decency to look away from me.

“I never meant to mess up your life, Adam.”

“My life is not messed up, Adeline. In fact, I’m very happy with how things turned out, and I didn’t take a break with Michel, I fired him. You and me…we are not heading in the same direction anymore. It didn’t make sense to keep him on.”

“It doesn’t have to be that way, you know that.”

I shook my head and relaxed into my seat. “I don’t have a problem with how things are with you and me, Adeline. You made your choice, and I’m okay with that. I moved on. You moved on. Our problem right now, and what I would like to talk about, is Aiden.”

“I don’t see him as a problem, Adam.”

“Oh, but you do, Adeline. He was the reason you wanted a divorce, remember?”

She sighed and got up from her seat to stare outside into the yard where Lucy and Aiden were in sight. “Do you think we made a mistake?”

“A mistake?” I asked, not following her.

She turned to face me, clutched her hands at her back, and leaned against the window. Looking at her, I searched for the feelings I’d had for a girl who was nothing but pure sweetness, but I couldn’t find what I was looking for. It was truly over for us. And not only that Adeline, the Adeline I’d known, was nowhere to be found either. Sure, she was still sweet and considerate when she wanted to be, but she wasn’t the same girl I’d met on set and fallen for.

Maybe she had adapted to Hollywood, and I was the one who had changed—drastically.

“With Aiden. Do you think it was a mistake?”

Shocked at the question, I just stared at her. “How can you say that, Adeline?” I managed to force out after some time. Thinking back on it, I thought that was the moment that solidified my decision about taking Aiden away from her.

“I’m not saying having him was a mistake, Adam. Don’t take it like that. I love him.”

I could sense a but coming, and she didn’t disappoint.

“But do you think our decision was a mistake?”

To me it sounded like she was asking the same damn question.

“After you learned about the pregnancy, you made all the plans, Adeline. It was your decision.”

“But then it wasn’t.”

“Yes.” I nodded, giving her that much. “After I saw him, it became our decision.”

She left her spot next to the window and sat down next to me. Close.

“Would things be different for us, do you think? If Aiden hadn’t happened. Do you think we would’ve still ended up here or made different decisions along the way?”

I looked into her eyes and saw that she was being genuine. I exhaled. “I don’t know, Adeline. I can’t know. If you’re asking if we would’ve ended up getting married either way…I think we would have. I loved you. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened so fast, but yes, I think we would have still ended up together.”

“I loved you, too, Adam,” she whispered. “So much that I couldn’t imagine waking up without you sleeping next to me…”

“But now you can,” I finished for her.

She looked away.

“I think I did make a mistake by forcing Aiden and me on you. And he changed you. He changed us.”

“Of course he changed me. The problem is he couldn’t change you and that is what ended up changing us. I don’t see why we’re having this conversation again, Adeline. We went over all this when you gave me your ‘I want a divorce’ speech. I have other things to talk to you about. I don’t have time to listen to you talk about how our son was a mistake for you.”

“Our son,” she repeated, meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry. Things have been hard for me lately.”

“What? You didn’t get the green light from the director?”

“Actually, no, I didn’t get the green light. I already told you I had to take Aiden with me because the director wanted to see me around Aiden. The role is a mother who tries to protect her son from an abusive husband, so when the tabloids ran with the story that I forgot Aiden in the car…it must’ve affected his decision.”

“Must have…” I shook my head. “He is not a purse you can take wherever you want to show him off, Adeline. Just because you’re spending time with my mother doesn’t mean you have to act like her, too.” She pursed her lips. “I wanted us to talk so I could tell you that I’m filing for sole custody of Aiden. I didn’t want you to hear it from a press release or see it in the tabloids.”

She put her hand on my arm and leaned into me.

“You knew it was coming, and I think after what happened yesterday, it’s high time we do it,” I said before she could have a chance to protest.

“Adam, you can’t do that to me. Not now, not after what happened. And you have to think about Aiden, too. We talked about this before. Forget about me, do you know what he’ll think? What everyone else will think?”

I twisted my body so I could see her face. Her hand gently squeezed my arm.

“What will he think, Adeline?”

She released a long breath. “He’ll think I don’t want him, and so will everyone else.”

“Do you want him?”

“Yes, Adam. Of course. This is working out great for him. One week with me, one week with you. And this way, I have time to focus on my career. I’m finally going back to doing what I love.”

“I never stopped you from doing what you love, Adeline. Like everything else, taking a break was your decision, too. You thought if you left him with nannies and went back to shooting people would judge. In the end, you always did what you wanted to do, so don’t even try to dump this on me.”

“Adam,” she started again and my temper flared up. I stood up and looked down at her sad face.

“What happened yesterday, Adeline? Did you forget he was in the car with you?”

She scowled at me. “Of course not.”

“Then what happened?” I repeated my question through gritted teeth.

“Rita was supposed to have him. It was her fault.”

“Rita, your assistant. You’re gonna sit there and blame an assistant for not taking care of your son?”

She remained silent.

Her phone buzzed on the couch across from her and her eyes slid that way. To my surprise, she didn’t go for it.

“I saw the photos,” I explained. “I saw the photos, and I never saw you come back to rescue him. He stood there, Adeline. He stood there and cried until another one of your assistants came out to take him in.”

She stood up and met my eyes, her voice rising. “He should’ve waited in the car, Adam.”

“He is five years old, Adeline. He was going after his mom.”

Her phone stopped buzzing then started to go off again.

“Take it,” I said. “I’ll send Aiden in so he can say goodbye—if you have time for that, of course. If not, I’m going out to spend time with him so he can start looking into my face again instead of at my feet and then I’m meeting with my lawyer. I suggest you do the same. You’ll still have your weeks with him until the judge makes a decision.”

I walked away from her, but her voice stopped me before I could step outside.

“I won’t give up on him that easily, Adam,” she said, her voice harder than it had been seconds before. “I won’t let everyone think I’m okay with you taking him away from his mother.”

“Of course you can’t, Adeline,” I agreed with her. “How would that make you look in the public eye? A woman who doesn’t care about her kid…” I shook my head. “You’ll have a much harder time getting auditions that way, I imagine, with the bad press and everything. You’ll fight for it, I know. Me, on the other hand…I don’t care what they think at all. All I care about right now is what that kid”—I gestured with my thumb over my shoulder—“thinks of me. And if I never hear him beg me not to send him away again, I think that will be enough to make me happy.”