novelxo Tirone: Chapter 39
Frustration and despair dulled my senses when Furore called and told me to come straight to the compound after I finished work. We were supposed to go furniture shopping to get our new home set. Why the sudden change of plans? Why the delay? I needed to get out of here, away from Tirone, away from the filth he was staining me with.
Tirone, who escorted me back to the compound on his bike, winked at me as he dismounted it. My jaws clenched as I got out of the car. He walked with me to the patio. “Looks like I get to make another visit tonight.”
“Fuck you,” I mouthed.
“Bad Mommy,” he taunted while Candy darted out of nowhere and jumped into his arms. He cupped her ass—that was practically dangling from her shorts—while she hooked her arms and ankles around his body. Then he kissed her right in front of me. “Hey, babe. Missed me?”
“Yes,” she said playfully and then whispered something in his ear.
He laughed and let himself in with her clung to him like a leech. Then she smirked at me, her bitch face on.
Sick to my stomach, I just stepped in. Of all the people in the world, he chose that skank to rub in my face, as if his humiliation to me wasn’t enough. My mind tortured me with pictures of the things they would be doing together. Things that used to be only mine. I hated how that made me feel. The anger, the jealousy, I had no right to feel either. I’d married someone else. I was in love with someone else. Tirone was a motherfucking asshole that had been using my body without permission to hurt me. I should be relieved to see him move on.
But not while he was allowing himself to violate my body like he fucking owned it. If he was making me his bitch, and there was no way out of it, I had to be the only bitch for him.
I looked away toward the lounge. Molar was there, eyeing me. I cleared my throat. “Have you seen my husband?”
“Waiting for you upstairs,” he said warily.
Something was in the air, and my heart skipped the beat. “Is there something wrong?”
He just switched his gaze toward the TV.
I dragged my feet upstairs, with every step, the sense of impending doom intensifying. Did Laius know what had Rex been doing? Was my marriage fucking over before it started? That had to be it. Furore told me to come back here because a dirty wife like me didn’t deserve a new house. She deserved to be thrown out of it.
In our room, Laius stood still, his back to me, a trail of smoke dancing next to him. He never smoked in the room. “Close the door and sit.”
I did as he asked in defeat, ready for punishment. He could throw me in the Boiler naked for days or leave me outside where he threw rocks at me or even kill me. I wouldn’t object. I wouldn’t utter a single word in defense or beg.
He spun and sat across from me, the ash from the cigarette between his fingers a knuckle long. “I have bad news.”
In surrender, I nodded once, knowing what it was beforehand.
His eyes narrowed at me. “Did Molar tell you?”
I shook my head. “He was too kind not to. He just said you were waiting for me here.”
“Jo, you have to understand—”
“It’s okay. Whatever you decide, I’ll accept.”
“I’ll protect you till my last breath. I don’t care what I fucking lose. I’ll kill them all for you, baby. I promise.”
Frowning in confusion, I shook my head again. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s the fucking Larvins, Jo. Declan Larvin and his wife.” He drew in on the cigarette. “They’re here in Houston. It means the Lanzas are done talking. They don’t care if you were Jocasta Larvin or not. They don’t care if you’re my wife or not. War is coming.”
My body quaked with tremors as my heart thrashed. He stomped on the cigarette and squatted in front of me. Rubbing my ice cold hands, he kept saying my name. I could hear him but as if coming from under water. I tried to speak. Nothing came out but shallow breaths.
“Hey, take this.” He was prying open my mouth, trying to slip something inside. “Doc said it’d help if you had another attack.”
He hurried to bring some water. He forced the glass rim on my lips and wet coldness covered me. It nudged me back to awareness just enough to swallow the pill. “They came to finish the job.” I shook.
“I won’t let them anywhere near you. They will never touch you.”
Memories flooded my brain. “They put a gun in my hand and another in Mom’s. They told us they’d let one of us live if she killed the other.”
“It’ll never happen again. I’ll kill them all before they even think about hurting you.”
My body shuddered. “Blood. There was a lot of blood. On my hands, on my clothes, on my face. I could still taste it in my mouth.”
“Take it easy, Jo, please. Doc said you have PTSD, and it’s giving you anxiety attacks.”
“She told me to run, but I didn’t listen. I was stupid. I thought I was going to…save…her.” I hiccupped the last words, blubbering.
“Baby, listen to me. Whatever happened that night, it’s not your fault. It’s the Larvins’, and they’ll pay for it.”
“But I made them kill her. I thought I was protecting her. I thought I could kill them, and then Mom and I could run together.”
“What?”
I stared at his face with wide eyes, but all I could see was the blood in my mom’s skull. “That’s why she died. I shot them. I shot some of the men with the gun they put in my hand. I didn’t listen, and she died. I shouldn’t have pulled the trigger. I should have known they were too many and much faster. But I thought they’d have shot me instead. It didn’t happen. They shot her to stop me from shooting at the rest of them. I didn’t know. They should have shot me. They should have killed me, not her. I killed my mom. I killed my own mother.”
He shook me. “No, Jo! It’s not your fault. You were trying to save her. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.”
“No, no. I should have waited. If I hadn’t pulled that trigger, she’d have lived.”
“Listen to me, baby. They were sent to kill both of you. Both of you would have been dead that night, if it hadn’t been for what you did. What you did saved you, and it could have saved her, too.”
“But it didn’t. They should have shot me first. I should have waited.”
“Waited for what?”
I stared at him from a few moments, gaining back clarity. The pill must have been working because I was in our room now, and the memories were only in my head.
“Waited for what, baby?” he repeated.
Michele. He came to save us. I should have waited for him to arrive. If I hadn’t shot the men, she’d have been alive, and he could have saved us both. But it was only me.
I wished he’d never come. I wished they’d killed me, too.
“I should have died that night with her.”
“Don’t say this shit. Do you think she’d have wanted you to die? Her death wasn’t for nothing, Jo. You’re alive, and that’s all that matters.”
“I’m not worth saving, Laius.” That was something even I knew. That was why I never defended myself when someone I loved was involved. Let them hurt me. Let them kill me. I didn’t care as long as I was the one getting hurt. As long they remained safe.
Tirone thought I never defended myself against him, never used my gun with him when I should have because I loved to be punished. That wasn’t true. I never brought myself to do it because I cared about him. Because I was scared he’d end up like Mom. Because I loved him right from the very beginning. And no matter what happened, how far I distanced myself or how hard he hurt me, I didn’t seem to be able to ever stop loving him.
“Look, Jo, it ain’t gonna be easy, not with Bandidos refusing to help. They think they can take the mafia on their own, and they welcome the war, waiting for the mob to finish the Night Skulls first before they take over and keep the South under their turf. It’s horseshit, and they’ll pay for it later.
“But for now, I have two options. Either I rally the rest of the MCs and all our chapters and go to war to kill both the Lanzas and the Larvins, but for that to happen, I need to find a replacement, another mob to replace the Lanzas for the business in Europe. The cartel doesn’t like to change business partners, and it turned out Enzio Lanza has more ties to them than I thought. They’d favor him, too. The problem is, I don’t have a replacement yet or enough time to find it.”
“What’s the second option?”
He took a deep breath. He seemed to be struggling with whatever he was about to say. “I make a deal with the Lanzas.”
“What deal?”
“They’ll give me the Larvins.”
“In exchange for what?”
“What they’re getting in bed with them for.” His face darkened. “The South.”
“What? No. You can’t do that. You can’t side with the Lanzas. You can’t give up your MC, your business, your brothers, not for me. You can’t betray your people, Laius.”
“You’re my wife, Jo. You are my people.”
“Laius…” I cried. “If you’re ready to give up everything for me, then why do we not just leave? We can go anywhere and start over, away from all this. You leave the MC to someone you trust. The mob won’t have any leverage on the Skulls anymore, and you won’t have to let down your brothers or betray the MC.”
“The Larvins have to die, Jo. For you, and for Madeline. I won’t make you live on the run. It’s my job to protect you. I don’t deserve you if I make you live in fear even for another day.”
Tears blurred my eyes as I touched his face. “It’s I who don’t deserve you, Laius. I’m so sorry, but I can’t let you do this for me.”
“It’s not your decision.”
“Yes, it is. You have a third option, and that’s what you’re going choose.”
“What third option?”
What Michelle feared Laius would have done, except my husband showed me a kind of loyalty I’d never seen before. “You have to save the MC and kick the Lanzas out of Texas.” That was what mattered. That was worth saving. “You have to give me to the Larvins yourself, Laius.”