Thief's Theme: A Love Story

“Breaking news! All of China, gone!” That is the headline on every channel in the country right now, detailing what is likely Ji’s latest escapade, making China disappear, or as he’d call it ‘stealing China.’ But unlike his other escapades, his other triumphs, this one was on its way to causing something much worse. Something akin to World War III. See, the other conquests, the other victims of Ji’s stealing were either allies of the United States, too small to be a real threat to the United States, or in awe of their national treasure being taken so suddenly. This was not the case with the likes of China, or at least it’s assumed that it wouldn’t be the case, whenever they were returned and were actually able to retaliate. There was a chance that they wouldn’t, but now with all the gas lighting from American television and eyes on them from all around the world, their hand will be forced. And then there’s the Russia factor.

Somehow, some way, Russia managed to insert themselves into this situation, despite not being affected at all. Their leaders took to the press and claimed that America needed to be stopped and that if they could do it to China, a rival super power, they could and would do it to anyone. Of course they don’t take into account the fact that Ji’s working on his own and not in the interests of the United States, AND that Ji is currently a criminal of said country. Also, at the moment Ji is literally being hunted down for the exact crime of taking China despite such the crime not technically landing within United States jurisdiction. America is actually doing everything it can to try to help the situation, more than it should logically, and still they’re getting blamed. We’re getting blamed.

Sharia cuts off her thoughts as she looks back at the television where a pretty heated debate is going on at the moment, about the very same topic her thoughts wandered to.

“The question is,” begins one of the debaters, an older brown-skinned male with a bushy mustache and balding head “who did this? Once we find that out, we can figure out his nationality and exactly who should be held responsible for the crime.” He explains. The other debater, a younger woman with pale skin and dark brown hair rebuttals immediately.

“There is no question of who did this, Jerry. It’s obviously ‘Merc’ AKA ‘Mercury’ the thief that was responsible for the Seven Wonders Heist, and the only one even capable of doing this. And with that obvious piece of knowledge, what we really have to question is…how responsible is the United States for what’s happened? This Merc is an American citizen after all and his actions reflect on the country whether they like it or not.” She counters. The first debater, Jerry, responds immediately.

“OK, Anne. Let’s assume that this is ‘Merc’, not that we have any proof, but let’s assume it is him. How does the United States take any responsibility for his actions? Merc is a wanted criminal in the United States and has been for nearly half a decade. It’s clear the country doesn’t condone and certainly doesn’t endorse his actions, so why? Why would they take the blame for one criminal’s misdeeds; one that they’re trying to catch and are actively working against at that?” This statement causes Anne to roll her eyes as she responds in an incredulous tone.

“Are you serious Jerry? Has the United States never used a criminal to its own advantage? Do those countless South American dictators ring a bell? And are you telling me that out of all the countries in the world, that this Merc just happened to pick China? America’s biggest rivals? You can’t tell me that’s a coincidence. It’s clear that the United States is doing a test run with this Merc, working with him in a plan to take down their competition. Anyone who denies it is full of it!” Jerry rubs his temples and closes his eyes before responding in a calmer tone.

“Or, maybe Merc simply wanted a country that would cause a lot of ruckus, is well known, AND has an obscene amount of people living within its borders. China fits the bill on all of these Anne. To automatically point to this Merc being a weapon, and to say without a doubt that he’s working with the United States is disingenuous at best.” Sharia now rolls her eyes, not willing to listen to the news debate things they couldn’t possibly know for another second, and turns off the television.

“Damn Ji, this time you really did go too far.” She says out loud. “This could start a war and affect us all.” Suddenly her television seems to turn itself on somehow, causing her to eye the remote with a weary eye. Hesitantly she looks up at the television and sees something she thought she’d never see in…well ever. It’s Ji on the screen, addressing the people, somehow making himself appear on an extra split screen alongside the other debaters and newscasters. He’s wearing a black trench coat, a black button up shirt, black pants, and black construction boots and appears to be on some stage, in front of a microphone and in front of a large crowd. Wait, from the looks of it that’s…no he wouldn’t. Would he?

“Hello world, this is Merc, the world’s greatest thief speaking to you from China. Yes, I said China. First and foremost, I want to announce that I’ve returned China now and you can all stop your whining and complaining and blaming of whoever. I act on my own and to try to attribute my actions to anyone else, is insulting to me. Because of your foolishness, and readiness to start a war over literally nothing, I’ve taken your weapons. All of them. Guns, bullets, missiles, tanks, nukes, you name it. Call it the Mass Disarmament Heist.” He says, pausing for a moment. “Now I got work to do. With a country under my belt, a continent is calling my name.” He informs them as he drops the mic and disappears without a trace. Immediately everyone starts talking, yelling even on what just transpired and what continent he would steal.

“Will it be Asia?” Starts one man, a middle-aged fat male with tan skin and white hair. “I think it will be. Merc will finish what he started and take the largest continent on the Earth, population-wise.”

“No it can’t be Asia.” Rebuts Anne from the last argument. “It’d be redundant and we all know that Merc doesn’t do redundancy. It’d encompass both of his former heists and that would be too plain for him.” She explains.

“Then North America?” Counters the same man. She waves this answer off as well.

“No, of course not. It’s where Merc lives. One doesn’t steal their own home.” She reasons. “I for one, think it’ll be Europe. It’s small, so I assume it’ll be easier to steal, yet impactful enough that the results will be felt around the world.”

“Of course, that makes so much sense. It’s definitely Europe after hearing that.” Says the middle-aged fat man in agreement.

“I’d have to agree with Anne on that. Europe is too good to pass up and has many iconic countries within its borders.” Says another man, this one younger looking with a sleek face, slick black hair, and thin glasses.

“What about Australia?” Asks an old yet thin Hispanic man, another of the debaters.

“Too poisonous. No one would want to mess with that continent.” Says Anne, dismissing the choice with a haughty laugh.

“But wouldn’t the danger be part of the thrill? Part of the fun for him?” Argues the Hispanic man.

“Maybe, but it doesn’t seem like his style.” Interjects the middle-aged fat man.

“What about Africa? It is the richest continent by far, especially if we consider its natural resources.” Points out a young black woman with straight black hair. Anne and the Hispanic man nod in agreement.

“That is true.” Says Anne.

“A good point.” Concedes the middle-aged fat man.

“That’s my personal choice.” Chimes in Jerry from before. Again, not willing to listen to them continue to argue about nothing, Sharia shuts off the television, hoping it stays off this time.

Truthfully Sharia is utterly shocked and still in awe that Ji would ever do such a thing. It wasn’t just him interrupting news casts, and appearing on national and possibly global television, but it was also him giving up his heist AND announcing his next one. Or at least parts of his next one. And stealing the weapons? It seems that Ji understood exactly what his heist did and made sure to do everything in his power to fix it. And that made her very proud of him and his maturity and how much he’s grown. As she always said, there’s a good person underneath he thief that is Ohiji Olezuo. And it’s not that hard to find if one just looks. The situation brightened her mood for the entire rest of the day. It made her feel so positive, that she didn’t even mind when Antarctica went missing an hour later when Ji made his decision on which continent to steal.

Much like China before it, Antarctica drops completely off of every map in the world, any search engine, and any navigation system. It appears that when Ji steals something, he really does take it from any and every one. With a sigh, Sharia gets dressed in her keeper robes and wears her hair in braided plaits and starts on her journey to find Ji and bring him in, just like old times she supposed. But it wasn’t like old times, and she knew it. She saw what the Keepers, her new organization, tried to do to him. Normal prison could never replicate that or begin to even try. He might’ve broken free and escaped, but it didn’t change the fact that the stakes are much higher now as he’s dealing with people who are far more dangerous than he’s used to. And for some reason, she was helping them and not him.

That bugged her to no end and she couldn’t really find a good answer as to why. Sure, she wants Ji to be brought to justice and to stop his thievery, but not at the cost of his facilities like the Keepers seem to want. Ji is her friend and she knows that deep down she should be helping him instead of hindering, but her hate for stealing won’t allow it. So here they are, best friends on the opposite side of the law; thief who constantly escapes and the officer, now Keeper, who brings him in. It was a strange relationship to say the least. Shaking the thoughts from her head, she focuses on finding Ji.

With her knowledge of Ji and her new Keeper status, it doesn’t take her long to find him. He seems to be expecting her as he turns and waves to her as she walks onto the scene. And of course, he’s still grinning like an idiot. As Sharia reaches him, she instantly blurts out the question that’s been on her mind since she heard about the China heist.

“Why?” Is all she says, though it says enough. Why did he steal China? Why did he steal Antarctica? Why did he steal at all and keep escalating the objects he stole until they reached insane heights as they had now?

“To test myself.” He answers. “As the world’s greatest thief, it’s hard to inherently know my limits. So I got to keep trying more and more, climbing higher and higher until I finally find something I can’t steal.” He explains. “Though I’m not sure something like that exists.” He adds with clear subtext. If it does, he will find out, even if he has to keep escalating his heists into unseen territories. Sharia nods in understanding, as testing one’s limits is a common motive. It just usually is tested in things like weight lifting, or running fast, or video games, and a limit tends to be reached. She’s not sure Ji will ever reach a limit and he might just keep stealing forever and ever, for all of eternity, continuing their friendly game of cop and robber.

“When are your friends coming?” He asks, breaking her out of her thoughts, referring to the Keepers.

“I…I don’t know.” She responds truthfully. Her job is to find him, restrain him, and bring him in. She’s never received any word on exactly how long it takes Keepers to respond to her signal, though they do seem to appear pretty quickly.

“Want to chill while we wait for them?” He asks sincerely.

“Sure.” She says with a smile as she walks next to him and sits down. He does the same and both of them sit in relative silence, enjoying each other’s company for a solid minute until the Keepers show up, twenty deep. With a sigh, Sharia knows they have to end their ‘chill’ time as she stands up and pulls out her chains. Ji stands up with her and patiently waits for her to chain him up as she did before, and lead him to the Keepers. This time she doesn’t go with him, declining her colleagues’ offer to ride with her thieving friend, and watches him leave with a strange feeling in her stomach. For some reason, she feels like this will be the last they see of each other in a long time and internally she’s choking up a bit. Her rational side tells her to go with him, spend as much time as she can before whatever happens, happens, but she can’t bring herself to do it, as it’d just make it that much harder. Instead she gives him a small smile and waves goodbye until the Keeper vehicle disappears from her sight, on its way to the Keeper’s Crypt no doubt.

With a deep breath, Sharia turns tail and heads back home, feeling empty and spineless for not following her rational side and taking the trip with ji. What if he needed her? What if the Keepers were too rough on him and he got hurt? What if…? She stops the train of thought before she goes crazy with worry. It doesn’t do good to come up with hypothetical bad situations and she knows it. Instead she occupies her mind with wondering what it is exactly that will cause this to be the last time she sees Ji in a long time.

Death. Imprisonment. Exile. All three ideas permeate her thoughts immediately before she can stop herself. Her breath becomes shaky as she tries to move past those into more positive things. Like…maybe Ji will simply be too busy making an honest living so she won’t interact with him much anymore (Due to her being a Keeper now)? Or maybe she’ll get real into her Keeper job and move up the ranks, thus having less time to see him? Or maybe…maybe she’s just being silly about the feeling and nothing was going to happen? That one is easily her favorite of the situations, but one she doubts is true.

As she finally reaches home and removes her Keeper robe and technology, she notices a note on her door from Ji. It looks like Ji has already escaped from the Keepers (he did so in less than five minutes) and has thus left her something for her troubles. She smiles at the thought and picks up the note, reading it over.

Dear Sharia,

I escaped from your friends as I got bored without you there to hold things down. I would’ve escaped even if you were there, but I’d at least wait until we had some ‘fun’ in interrogation. That’s always the best part. Anyways, I’m going away for a while to explore new heights in my thievery as I’ve done everything I can here, what with stealing an entire continent. Oh, and speaking of continents, I did you a solid and returned Antarctica for you, not that anyone was missing it, so you can claim that on your Keeper resume or record or whatever it is you keep. Hope your Keeper job continues going well without me there, and I’ll miss you. A lot.

P.S. I also stole all things money (or is it monetary?) in the world as I left. I figured I might as well complete the one-two punch, along with the weapons I stole earlier, to make the world a better place.

Ash she gets to the end of the letter, Sharia smiles once more, happy again at Ji’s growth that he’s actually thinking of the betterment of the world. She does wonder exactly how no money and no guns will change things, but quickly wipes that from her mind. More important things have happened, are happening. For the first time in a long time, she wouldn’t be able to see her dearest friend Ji and would have to live life completely without him. It looks like her feeling came true and…it didn’t feel good. She’d rather have been wrong than to feel how she felt right now if she was honest with herself. Like he said, she’d miss him. A lot. And she’d await his return.