The way I used to live

Flashback continues:

Daksha came back to consciousness after a while and opened her eyes to observe the surroundings. When she noticed that she was in the hospital, all the previous happenings flooded into her mind and she sat up with a jerk who;e thinking about Teju. She hissed in pain because of the wound on her arm.

She removed the IV needle from her hand and slowly walked outside. When she went outside, she saw her Mom was sitting there on a chair silently. She slowly went to her and nudged her a little.

"Maa? Where is Teju? She is okay, right?" She asked her mom in a low voice and her mom shook her head a little.

"Doctors aren't saying anything. She is still in the operation theatre." Her mom sighed sadly.

"Maa, please take me there.. Let's go." Saying this, Daksha grabbed her mom's hand weakly, urging her Mom to take her there.

"You are so weak. You can see her but rest for a while." Her mom suggested after seeing her daughter's weak countenance.

"No, Maa. She is more important to me now. I can't calm down until I assure myself that she is well and safe. Please take me there. I beg you." Daksha said agitatedly and her mom took her to that floor after thinking for a while.

When they reached there, she saw that her brother was standing at the corner of the hall and was looking outside the window calmly. But his tensed shoulders clearly indicated that he was anything but calm and her father sat on the chair silently while covering his face with his hands.

Daksha didn't know what to say or how to console them when she herself wasn't in any better condition. She took her seat silently and started looking at the operation theatre without blinking her eyes.

Suddenly the doors of OT opened and Adi was the first one to rush over to the doctor and started bombarding the questions in anguish.

"Doctor, everything is okay, right? Is she alright? Can I see her now? When will she regain consciousness? Please discharge her soon. She doesn't like hospitals. We will get her treated from home itself." Adi said hurriedly in a hopeful tone but all he got was silence as an answer from the doctor.

"Doctor, why are you not answering? Tell me. Nothing is serious, right?" He again asked him. This time his father intervened in between and let the doctor say his words.

"I am really sorry. By the time you guys brought her here, she had already lost so much blood and suffered from hemorrhage. And on top of that, her blood group is RH -ve which is very rare. Though we have her blood group in our blood bank, we couldn't save them." The doctor explained everything clearly.

Daksha's mind was stuck at the line 'we couldn't save them.'. After hearing it, she just sat there like a doll without paying any heed to what was happening around her.

"What did you just say? What do you mean by 'them'?" Adi asked in a pained voice, praying in his heart to not let it be what he was thinking.

"Don't you know? She was three months pregnant and the miscarriage is the main reason why we couldn't save her. She lost too much blood from the fall." Doctor asked in confusion and soon it turned into sympathy at the loss suffered by this family.

"I am really sorry. We tried our best to save them but still, we couldn't. Please excuse me. I'll look into the further procedures." Saying this, the doctor excused himself from there.

"God! What sin had we committed that you punished us so cruelly?" Mrs.Indraja started sobbing while holding her chest. Adi just rushed inside the room to see the love of his life lying on the bed lifelessly with a pale face.

He went to her. After kneeling down to the bed level, he took her cold hand into his hand and brought it to his lips.

The emotions which he was holding till now erupted like a volcano. He stretched his hand and placed it softly on her belly where there was a symbol of their love alive until the tragedy hit their family.

After that, he held her so tightly as if he wanted to immerse her into him as the tears left his eyes endlessly for the first time in his life after he became a grown man.

"You are a liar. A big liar. What a fool I was! I believed your words when you promised that you will be with me forever." He accused her while weeping badly. The staff around the hospital looked at the family with sympathy in their eyes.

All the rituals were done so quickly and they couldn't recover themselves from the loss they had suffered. What worried them the most was Daksha and Adi.

While Adi completely started living a secluded life, Daksha hadn't uttered a single word from the time they heard about Teju's death. She was just like a lifeless doll, always spending her time alone.

She didn't even allow the girls to help her. The glint in her eyes disappeared. Her cheerful persona changed into a muted one. Her nights turned into sleepless ones. Her dreams changed into nightmares.

Seeing her children become like that in front of their own eyes, the older couple's worries increased. So Daksha's father consulted his friend who was a psychologist, working in the U.S. They shifted her there for a change of environment and for her treatment too.

Flashback ends.

Arjun's POV:

My eyes misted after hearing the suffering she had endured in the past. I really didn't know what to do and whom to blame. I never expected that she was hiding so much pain behind her carefree smile.

My heart clenched at her sobs. I really wanted to take her in my arms and provide her with the comfort that she needed but I knew she had to let out all her pent up emotions. So, I let her cry her heart out, silently promising myself that this would be the last time where I let myself to witness her tears.

"It took me six months to recover from that incident. When I used to close my eyes, all I used to see was her body amidst a pool of blood. It was so frightening, Arjun. All it took was a night. It destroyed the dreams which we had in our hearts. It took away our smiles and our peace. But did you see? The culprit is roaming outside happily. What was our mistake? We didn't do anything wrong to anyone? Then why is God unfair?" She poured her heart out and I just accompanied her silently to vent out her aggravations.

"After I came back from the U.S., I started living separately like I have no one along with the girls because I couldn't stay in the same house that has so many of her memories. My parents were so supportive. They just wanted my well being, sothey let me do whatever I wanted. I am really grateful that I got them as my parents. As for Adi Anna, we didn't even know his whereabouts. After that incident, he visited us for the first time for our wedding. After I started living separately, I stopped visiting my family as I felt like I was the one who is responsible for all their miseries.

"I can't even look them directly in their eyes without feeling like a culprit and I can't bear that feeling. So, I lessened my visits even when I knew, they were missing me like hell. I am so selfish, right? I am really

a bad daughter, a bad sister, a bad friend. Many suffered just because of me. I don't deserve this happiness, Arjun." She said while crying so hard.

This time I couldn't stop myself. So, I scooped her in my arms and hugged her tightly in assurance. "Don't talk like that. You deserve everything in this world, Daksha," I told her softly and she gave out a sardonic laugh.

"How can you be so sweet? Does my

past not matter to you at all? Should

I feel happy that I got you in my life

or should I feel guilty for being selfish for wanting to have you all my life when I clearly don't deserve you? You may not know it, Arjun, but you are the one who brought hope in my life. A hope of happily ever after. The moment I got married to you, I felt like I am the luckiest girl in this whole universe and I even imagined a beautiful life together with you. But every time when I have this thought, I always become conscious of my past." I started caressing her hair while listening to her.

"It's like a barrier to my happiness. I

am feeling so guilty, Arjun. I am the reason why they lost their lives. Swathi and Teju both are innocent and the babies they were carrying were even more innocent. They don't know how cruel the outside world is, yet they suffered at the hands of it. I felt like if I didn't insist Swathi to file the case back then, she might have not led a happy life but at least she would have been alive somewhere, living her life with her baby. If I hadn't interfered in their argument, maybe all of this wouldn't have happened. Teju must still have been alive and we would all be still happy. Our house must have been filled with the innocent laughter of a baby. How good it would have been!" Saying this, she leaned into my embrace while sobbing to herself.

"I come with a lot of baggage, Arjun. I am not worthy of you. I am a culprit. Though I don't deserve punishment in the eyes of law, my conscience won't let me be happy until I serve that animal with the punishment he deserves. I can never live a guilt-free life. Just when I thought I could be happy with you, again my past came in front of me. Now I am feeling like I don't deserve you, Arjun. I don't deserve you." She said in a muffled tone while placing her head on my shoulder.

I immediately held her face and made her look into my eyes.

"Say it again now," I asked her sternly while looking into her eyes. She tried to maintain her gaze and started saying with her trembling lips.

"I don't deserve you. After everything gets settled, let's get a divo-" knowing very well what she was going to say, I cut her off by placing my lips on hers and started kissing her fiercely with the promise of togetherness.

I felt her wound her arms around my neck and she started responding with the same passion while the tears still rolled down her cheeks. Soon the kiss turned into a slow and soft one. I comforted her through the kiss in a way that words never could.

I left her when I felt that she was out of the breath. She immediately gasped for air and bent her head shyly but I held her face to look at me.

"Never. Never ever try to bring that word between us. When I tied this Holy thread around your neck, I swore in my heart that there would be togetherness, forever." I told her calmly while holding her nuptial chain and she quickly averted my eyes after nodding at me slowly with her reddened cheeks.

I chuckled a little at the way she was acting all shy. Her face was already red because of her crying and the blush adorning her face due to the kiss added more to it. Those teary eyes made her look damn adorable.

Seeing her like this, I again wanted to pull her into a kiss but reminding myself about the situation we were in, I put a hold to that thought.

So, without turning to her, I placed my hands on the floor at my back and told her.

"And talking about who deserves whom, I have to say this. If there is anyone between us who doesn't deserve the other, it is me who doesn't deserve you." When she was about to retort it, I placed my finger on her lips to shush her. She bit back her words and looked at me attentively.

"You know, you are the strongest girl that I have ever seen after my Mom. You faced a lot in the past yet you emerged out of it strongly. You fought with your own demons, nightmares, and insecurities so bravely. You became so successful at this young age without letting your past influence you. So how can I be worthy of this strong, courageous, kind, moreover a pretty and intelligent one, sometimes muddleheaded though?" I asked her with a smile.

She chuckled a little with her teary eyes at my last words and smacked my arm.

"You started it again. Girl, it took me so much effort to shut that tap. Please give me some face, yaar." I told her teasingly. She immediately hugged me while laughing a little.

"I am so lucky to have you in my life," he said in a low voice.

"No. I am the lucky one to g-" she cut me off in the middle.

"Geez. Stop it. I know what you are going to say. We both are lucky to have each other. Happy?" She said and I chuckled at her words. While nodding at her, I hugged her but the smile on my face disappeared when I remembered about that scumbag.

"Rahul, be ready for your doom. I swear I will make you pay for every drop of tear that you made her shed." I swore to myself while tightening my hold around her.

0000