The Unwanted Wolf

ADIRA

I washed my face over the bathroom sink, trying to wash away the fear I felt lingering beneath my skin. I thought I was stronger and could face my parents, but the idea of seeing them made me feel sick to the stomach. I didn’t want to see them interact, because it was clear they still loved each other after all of these years, and I knew deep down they never loved me as much as they loved each other.

The more I thought about it, the sicker I felt, and the vomit hovered just below my throat. I kept washing my face, trying to wash away those thoughts, but they were stuck on repeat. Eventually, my body couldn’t handle it anymore, and I found myself leaning over the toilet, throwing up the contents of my stomach. I heaved over and over again, feeling sick in every way possible.

When I was finally done, I rinsed out my mouth and sank to the floor, wondering how much of that was nerves versus pregnancy. For the first time in days, I found myself completely relaxing, and I noticed just how much my body was protesting. I was exhausted in every way possible. I closed my eyes and just focused on breathing.

It was clear I had been pushing myself too hard, and everyone around me was right. I needed to take more breaks than I had, especially because my body was already strained from growing a life inside. I had just felt so pressured to protect everyone around me, especially my family. I was tired of dealing with threat after threat, and so I pushed myself harder and harder, putting all of the responsibility on my shoulders.

I knew I couldn’t do that anymore. I had to rely on others to help where they could. Mark and Reyland were building an army, so I didn’t need to push myself to build my full potential this very moment. Plus, the council only had to think I was stronger than them. As long as the bluff worked, I didn’t need to actually be stronger than them. Since they were already afraid of me, it wouldn’t take much to convince them, maybe just some flashy moves.

“Adira?”

I opened my eyes and saw Mark standing in the bathroom door. I hadn’t heard him enter our room. I gave him a lazy smile.

“Hey. How did it go?”

Mark walked over to me and squatted in front of me. “It went just fine. Freya is satisfied and will be leaving in the morning.”

I closed my eyes again. “Good.”

Mark pressed the back of his hand against my head. “You’re warm. Are you feeling sick?”

I gave a small nod. “I think it’s just morning sickness.”

“Let’s get you to bed.”

Mark scooped me up and carried me to our bed. He lay me down gently, and then he went back to the bathroom. He grabbed a damp cloth and sat next to me. He dabbed my forehead gently, and with every touch, I knew worry was burning inside of him.

I grabbed his hand and gave it a k**s. “I’m okay. I think I just overdid it today. Don’t worry. I realized I needed to take it easier. I will take a break tomorrow, and then I will go much easier.”

Mark kissed my forehead. “Good. Should I take you to see Zay? If you’re sick…”

I opened my eyes and smiled. “I’m okay. Promise. I’m just worn out, and my body is fighting me a little. Just stay here with me, okay?”

With a nod, Mark climbed into bed with me, moving behind me so he was the big spoon. With his touch, my body instantly started to relax. I knew everything was going to be okay. Freya would be gone tomorrow, I would finally be the official luna of the pack, and I was feeling a little more confident as I realized how much the Council of Magic actually feared me.

Mark placed his hand over my belly, and my stomach started to calm down at his touch. I knew it was too early in the pregnancy to feel the baby move, but I knew it was responding to Mark’s touch, as if it knew he was its daddy. I smiled at the thought.

“What are you smiling at?” Mark asked.

My fingers lightly stroked his hand over my belly. “I think the baby feels you.”

Mark shifted, suddenly much more alert. He leaned over so he was looking at me. “You can feel the baby already?”

I chuckled at the excitement on Mark’s face, suddenly wondering why I was ever scared to tell him I was pregnant. “Not exactly. I just feel better with you touching my stomach. I think the baby can feel you and is calming you down.”

Mark beamed. He leaned down to my stomach and whispered, “It’s going to be a little while until we meet, but I’m your daddy. I can’t wait to see you and show you all of the wonderful things in this life. And don’t worry. I will protect you and your mommy.” He placed butterfly k****s all over my stomach, making me giggle at the ticklish feeling it caused.

There was the slightest bump on my stomach to show the pregnancy, but unless you were looking for it, it was hard to notice. Even to me, it looked like I was just a little bloated, but seeing Mark k**s my belly like that, made it feel much more real.

When he was finally done, he pulled me back into his arms and gave me a gentle k**s. “Feel better?”

I nodded, giving him another quick k**s. Tonight, I was perfectly content just falling asleep in my mate’s arms, knowing tomorrow was a big day.

–

Knock! Knock! Knock! The sound echoed through my head, making me g***n. I just wanted to keep sleeping, but the knocking wouldn’t stop. I turned to Mark to ask him to get the door, but when I opened my eyes, I realized I wasn’t in my bed. Instead, I was in the white room of my subconscious, and Moon and Shadow were staring at me.

“You snore,” Moon said, licking her paw. “I hope you know that.”

“I don’t snore!” I said, instantly feeling defensive.

Moon rolled her eyes. “Just ask Mark.”

The knocking started again, and I looked over to the direction the sound was coming from. “What is that?”

“Someone is trying to get in,” Shadow said.

I stood up and looked down at the two of them. “Should we see who it is?”

“That’s up to you,” Moon said. “It would be nice if that knocking stopped. It’s pretty annoying.”

I walked in the direction of the noise, and it wasn’t long before I came across a door. The door itself was also white and blended into the walls. The distinct knocking echoed from the metal on the door. I reached for the handle, but I hesitated before actually opening it. I didn’t want to just let anyone into my mind.

“Who is it?” It felt strange asking this in my own head.

“It’s Cain. Adira, please give me just five minutes to talk to you.”

My hand stayed frozen in the air. I would have expected my first instinct to be ignoring Cain, but it was actually the opposite. Something in Cain’s voice told me he was being sincere, and I followed my gut feeling. I twisted the handle and cracked the door open. Cain was standing in front of the door, and he looked younger than I remembered. There was more life in his eyes before, and the craze that was there before was now faded.

“What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

I looked back at Moon and Shadow who were a few steps behind me. I wanted them to give me their advice, but instead they looked to me for the answer. I took a step back and opened the door, hoping I wasn’t making a huge mistake.

“What do you want?” My voice was strained as I spoke. I was afraid Cain was going to try his same spiel on me about running away from the council and what not.

Cain looked at the ground, almost shrinking as he entered my subconscious. He stopped moving and turned to me. “I have come to the realization that I will never be a father to you. I didn’t want to listen to you when you said it, but I understand it now. Your mother and I were not good parents to you.”

He looked at me, waiting for a response, but I didn’t say anything. He was right. Neither of them were good parents, but him saying it to me didn’t change it or the fact that I would never see him that way.

“I decided it would be best for me to get out of your life,” Cain continued. “I have caused you more harm than good, and it’s time for me to make it up to you.”

I knitted my eyebrows together. “What are you talking about? You’re locked up right now. You should even be able to use magic right now. How are you here?”

Cain chuckled, but it seemed like it was more from nerves than anything else. “You never really had me under restraint. Your werewolf friends did a great job, and any normal sorcerer would be restrained in a cell like that. But I’m not a normal sorcerer, and neither are you. When I realized I couldn’t restrain you, I figured it was best to go along with you so I could keep an eye on you.”

I didn’t know what to say. Knowing Cain could have been a threat, waiting around the corner this entire time sent a shiver down my spine. Once again, it showed me how naive I was when it came to magic.

“Anyway, I won’t bother you for much longer. I just wanted to come say goodbye. Freya and I are leaving together. We’re going to get out of your life and get our second chance. I hope you can understand our actions, and please don’t look for us. You won’t find us, and it’ll just be a waste of your resources. I promise I will leave you to live your own life and won’t try to interfere anymore.”

I stared at Cain and knew what he was saying was true. He was no longer going to be a threat to me, but I didn’t know how I felt about it. I knew I didn’t want anything to do with him, but hearing he was going to just give up on me, hurt in a way I didn’t expect it to.

“You’re leaving? Just like that?”

Cain stepped forward, and I flinched as he approached. “I know I can change the things that I’ve done to you, but I’m hoping this helps.” He pressed a small glass bottle into my hand.

I looked down at it, feeling the cool, smooth glass against my skin. I looked back at Cain. “What is this?”

“It’s most of my magic. I don’t need it where I’m going, but you’ll need it to fight the council. Just open the bottle and breathe in the magic, and your body will absorb it.”

I stood there, slack- jawed, unsure of what to say to this. This couldn’t be real. Cain was trying to tear my life apart. Why would he just give me his magic?

“Good bye, Adira. I wish you luck with your ventures.” Cain turned out of my head, leaving me completely speechless.