The Rules of Dating

It was my favorite part of the day—the quiet time in the morning at the shop before any of my staff arrived. I’d come in early to organize some of my equipment and straighten up the place. The only problem was now I had way too much time to think without people here. And all I could seem to think about lately was Colby Lennon.

After our trip to the Ward’s Island Bridge the other night, I’d thought he might’ve called or texted. But it had been three days, and nothing. Not a word. The question was, why the hell was I expecting a call or visit when I’d made it clear I only wanted to be friends? He was giving me what I supposedly wanted: space. Friends shouldn’t be expected to call so soon.

The trip to the bridge had been pretty chill. It was cute how into the whole thing he was, explaining the architecture and history. And Saylor seemed to eat up every word her dad said, even if she probably couldn’t understand half of it. As if a four-year-old cared about a sixteen-million-dollar renovation project. Or the fact that the bridge had been covered in yellow and featured in The Wiz back in 1978, in the scene where Diana Ross and Michael Jackson sang “Ease on Down the Road.”

You’d think Saylor did understand and appreciate it all, though. She’d smiled at everything. I hadn’t wanted to crush Colby and tell him I didn’t care all that much about bridge history. But I did enjoy the passion in his eyes when he spoke. That I could’ve watched all day. And honestly, I enjoyed spending time with him and Saylor, regardless of what we were doing.

I was apparently smitten with him, whether I was willing to admit it or not. Thus, my current situation: checking my phone and looking out the shop window for any sign of Colby.

With only ten minutes until I had to open, I decided to visit the truck outside and grab a coffee. It was one of those rare dry, breezy mornings in the city when the humidity had taken the day off. I waited in line and ordered my usual, a small coffee with one cream and one sugar. When I turned around with the little blue cup in hand, I spotted him walking toward me.

Colby was headed to work, dressed in a three-piece navy suit and looking all…rich and shit. Damn, he could rock a suit. Seeing him dressed to the nines made me want to jump him.

Instead, I lifted my cup in a salute. “Hey, you.”

“Hi.” He smiled. “Long time no see.”

“Yeah. I should be saying that to you.” What does that even mean? That I’ve been waiting for him to call? Ugh.

“The past couple of days have been a literal shitshow.”

“Uh-oh.” I frowned. “Why?”

“Stomach bug. Not me. Saylor. We’ve never been through anything like it. And on her actual birthday, no less.”

“Oh no. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. She might have gotten it from someone at the party. I got lucky. It’s so far evaded me.” He sighed. “You’re not sick, are you?”

“No.”

“Good. I would’ve felt crappy if you’d gotten it.”

“Is she okay now?”

“Yeah. We waited a full twenty-four hours on day three to make sure she was over it. But she went back to preschool today.”

“Thank goodness. I can’t imagine how horrible that must’ve been.”

“Yeah. Real sexy to be covered in vomit for two days straight, right? That’ll make you change your mind about dating me.”

“Actually, the fact that you’re such a good, hands-on dad is one of the sexiest things about you.” Agh. Speaking without thinking again. Given that I had no desire to date someone with a kid, I didn’t quite understand why him being a good father was such a turn-on. But it was. Still didn’t need to share it, Billie.

“Well, that’s a great note to head to work on. I’ll take that compliment and run with it. Unfortunately, I’m running a bit late, so…”

I waved him off. “Go! Go.”

Colby looked over my shoulder, and I turned to find his friend Holden had suddenly appeared. I’d almost forgotten he’d booked the first appointment of the day.

“Whaddup?” Holden said.

“What are you doing?” Colby asked.

“I’m actually headed over to Billie’s.”

Colby’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing there?”

“You know that tat I have of Hailey’s name?”

Colby’s brow lifted. “Yeah?”

“I’m finally getting rid of it. Billie is going to cover it up for me.”

When Holden booked the appointment, he’d mentioned he wanted to remove an ex-girlfriend’s name from his lower abdomen. We’d decided to have him look through some of my designs first since he didn’t have a clue what he wanted.

“Isn’t that practically down by your dick?” Colby groaned. “The one you said you got so she’d see her name when she was going down on you?”

“That’s the one. Down by the V…not the dick, though.” Holden laughed.

“Trust me,” I said. “There’s a big difference between ‘practically down’ by someone’s dick and actually on someone’s dick. I’ve tattooed both, so I should know.”

Colby’s eyes widened. “You’ve tattooed someone’s dick before?”

“I have.”

“That’s awesome.” Holden laughed. “I wanna see pics, if you have them.”

I’d expected Colby to laugh, too, but his face was stone cold. He didn’t look happy about any of this. Not the V nor the dick.

Colby cleared his throat. “Well, you two have fun. I’ve got to get to work.”

Holden and I watched him walk away for a few seconds before he followed me into the shop. Once the door closed behind us, he turned to me. “What the hell was that all about?”

I played dumb. “What do you mean?”

“Colby looking like he wanted to murder me.”

“Really?”

“You didn’t notice?”

“Notice what?” I blinked.

“The look on his face when he found out what you were helping me with!”

“I wasn’t paying attention to his face,” I lied.

“Well, I was. I know my friend. He did not like the fact that you’d be touching me. He must like you, Billie. Colby hasn’t been into anyone in a long while.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It must be your imagination.”

“He likes you,” he repeated. “He mentioned that you guys hung out the other night, too, right? So don’t tell me I’m imagining things.”

Feeling my face heat, I pointed. “Mind your beeswax, and get in the chair. We got work to do. I have a fully booked day.”

Holden dropped the subject of Colby as we looked through the drawings I’d put together based on our last consultation. He settled on a series of musical notes intertwined together as they flowed from the mouth of a bird and wrapped around two drumsticks. It would be a little challenging to fully cover the name with the art he wanted, but I knew I could figure it out. I hadn’t screwed up a tattoo yet and wasn’t planning on starting today.

Holden settled into the seat, and I got going on his ink. I usually didn’t like to talk while I was working, but Holden was chatty. I’d been sort of half-listening to the stuff he said about the music scene. But when he changed the subject to Colby, my ears perked up.

“You know, Colby used to be the biggest player of all of us,” he noted.

I pretended like I wasn’t fully invested in this particular topic of conversation, careful not to look up from what I was doing. “Is that right?”

“Yeah. Well, not in high school. But pretty much the second half of college until…well, until Saylor.”

“What was the deal in high school?” I asked.

“Colby was in love with his high-school girlfriend, Bethany. But she decided it would be better if they went their separate ways after graduation since they were going to different schools. It wasn’t exactly his choice, so that first year, he was obsessed with finding out what she was doing—and with whom—while she was away.”

I struggled to gobble up every word through the sound of my needle.

“When he discovered through the grapevine that she’d fucked a couple of guys, he decided he wanted to get back at her. He went balls-to-the-wall wild his sophomore year—screwed everyone in sight. It started out to spite Bethany, but I think he decided he liked it. Bethany and he never got together again after that. But I’m pretty sure he still cared about her and was holding out hope.”

“Well, that sucks. You saw all this firsthand? Did you go to the same college as Colby?”

His body shifted as he shook his head. “No. I went to a different school. But I’d visit him all the time because we were only an hour away from each other.” He sighed. “Anyway…there’s more to the story as far as Bethany goes.”

I finally looked up. “Why? What happened?”

“She moved to New York after grad school and went to find him at his parents’ house one Christmas. She told him she was still in love with him, after all those years apart, and wanted to know if he was interested in dating her again. She said they could have a fresh start.”

“What did he say?”

“Well, you see, this was like four years ago—right after he found out about Saylor.”

“Oh…” My heart sank a little for Colby, even if I didn’t like this Bethany. And I could see where this was headed. “What was her reaction?”

“She was totally shocked. Couldn’t handle it. That was the last thing she ever expected. Heck, it was the last thing any of us expected. She bolted after that. So he never got a second chance with her.”

For the first time since this conversation started, I stopped working on him altogether to concentrate. “Was he devastated?”

“At that time, his focus was solely on Saylor. Everything was still so new. So while Bethany coming back was a bit of a mind fuck, nothing really fazed him at that point. It wasn’t the same as if she’d come back a year earlier.” Holden stared off. “But you know…I can’t imagine what his life would be like if he’d settled down with Bethany and never had Saylor. I can’t picture him without that little girl now.”

“I totally agree.”

He sighed. “But yeah, Bethany is definitely the one who got away.”

I gulped. “Do you think he still loves her?”

“I can’t be sure he doesn’t still harbor feelings for her, but I do recall him saying she couldn’t have loved him that much if she wouldn’t even consider accepting his daughter. He understood her reaction to a point, but I think the fact that she left so fast really turned him off. I do think if she’d accepted it from the get-go they’d be married right now. Instead, she’s married to someone else.”

“Oh yeah?” I licked my lips. Bethany is married. Why does that make me incredibly relieved?

“Yup.”

The fact that Colby was in love with this girl who apparently didn’t even deserve him irked me and made me jealous at the same time. If she knew what a great father he’d turned out to be, I bet she’d regret her decision.

“Anyway…” Holden said, “I guess the point of me telling you all my boy’s business is that it was nice to see him riled up out there. He’s been so out of it the past few years—and with good reason—but he needs to get back in the game. I might have to fuck with him a bit more, light more fires under his ass. Maybe I’ll tell him I had a little fun with you today, see how he reacts. Then call him out when he freaks out on me again.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because I’m a dick, and he and I love to mess with each other. I’m also pissed at him for not telling me sooner that he had it bad for you.”

“That’s your theory. He’s never said that to you, right?”

“Believe me, he doesn’t have to say it. Looks like the one he gave me out there this morning don’t lie. It was actually more of a warning. And it told me everything I need to know.”

I went back to work, my thoughts no clearer than when I’d arrived this morning, and a little while later Holden’s design was finished. I bandaged him up and sent him on his merry way. If only everything he’d told me had gone out the door with him. Instead, Colby, Bethany, and where things stood with him and me ran through my head all afternoon.

***

At the end of the day, I was closing up the shop when Colby surprised me with a visit on his way home from work. He looked just as hot as he had this morning, only now his tie was loosened and his hair a bit disheveled. The only thing sexier than put-together Colby Lennon in a suit was mussed-up Colby Lennon in a suit. Any version of him suited me just fine.

“Hey, Billie.” He smiled. “How’s it goin’?”

“Hey! How was your day?” I asked.

“Good.” He nodded. “How was yours? Did that ass Holden get what he wanted on his V?”

“He did. It came out awesome, actually.”

“I have to confess…I know it did. He sent me a text of it to fuck with me.”

“He seemed to think you were…” I cleared my throat. “Jealous.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” His eyes bore into mine.

“Because I don’t fraternize with my clients, so there’s nothing to be jealous about.”

He let out a long breath. “It’s not that I thought you had a thing for Holden. It just irked me that he got to spend time with you when I didn’t. And he’s a good-looking motherfucker, so I suppose you touching him down there made me a bit uneasy.” He shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a jealous bastard and am apparently terrible at hiding it.”

For the third time today, I let my inner thoughts slip with Colby. “I actually think you’re hotter.”

His eyes lifted to meet mine. “Well, that’s interesting information.”

“Yes.”

Holden’s type used to be more my speed—until Colby. Who would’ve thought I’d choose the straightlaced suit? Now, all I seemed to want to do was pull on this dude’s tie and bring him to my mouth.

“So what do we do about this?” he asked. “Your attraction to me.”

I swallowed. “Nothing. We do nothing. You know you’re an attractive man. That’s not news. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m not interested in starting anything right now.”

He nodded slowly. “I think I have a solution for that, actually.”

“What solution?”

“Hear me out.” He moved in closer. “We don’t have to date, Billie. We can…undate.”

“Undate? What exactly is that?” I asked, all too aware of his proximity—just a few inches from me now.

“It’s more of what we did the other night, when we went to see the bridge. It wasn’t a date, right? It was like just the opposite. An undate. So that’s what I propose we do.”

I crossed my arms. “What would this entail?”

“We’d spend time together, but only under the most unromantic and mundane of circumstances.” He scratched his chin. “I’ll give you an example. Say I’m working on something around the apartment and realize I need to run to Home Depot. There’s nothing remotely sexy or suggestive about that. Boom. You’ll be the first person I think of. I’ll call and ask if you want to tag along, if you’re available. No pressure. No temptation. Undate.”

“What’s the point of that?” I chuckled.

“The point is, we can be friends and hang out without any of the other pressures. The point is, I’ll still get to see you, which makes me happy.”

Our eyes locked, and I wondered how obvious it was: that just being around him made me happy, too. “I guess this sounds harmless enough,” I conceded. I was sure those would be famous last words, though. Because as harmless as he made this undate thing sound, I could hear virtual alarm bells going off.

“Yeah?” He beamed.

“If this is what you really want, I can play along.”

An intensity filled his eyes. “What I really want?” He shook his head slowly and laughed. “This is not what I really want.”

A chill ran down my spine. “Tell me what you really want, then.” I was a glutton for punishment, apparently.

“I don’t think you want to know,” he said.

“I do, actually. It’s like morbid curiosity.”

After a long pause he said, “Okay then. What I really want to do is untie that fucking corset one lace at a time and bury my face in your beautiful tits while you straddle me on that chair over there. Right now. So maybe phrase your questions more carefully. Because the truthful answer to what I want is never gonna be PG or gentlemanlike when it comes to you.” He smiled and turned toward the door. “I’ll call you soon,” he said before disappearing.

Dazed and horny, I stood staring out the window for an indeterminate amount of time. I then locked the door to the shop and retreated to the bathroom where I promptly leaned against the door, pulled my panties down, and replayed his words while massaging my clit.