: Chapter 18
Brayden’s eyes jumped back and forth. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“I want you, Brayden. It won’t change my mind about our future, but I need you. I need you so much, it physically hurts. And I’m well aware it’s incredibly selfish of me to show up like this and ask you to be with me the way I want when I won’t be with you the way you want, but I don’t care. My desire for you is stronger than my ability to do the right thing tonight.”
His gaze stayed locked with mine as he shook his head. “I’m so fucking mad at you right now, for not giving what’s between us a chance. Even if on some level I understand why you’re doing it, the anger is still there. I’m afraid if we were together right now, I wouldn’t be able to set that aside.”
My heart pounded. “So don’t. Don’t even try. Be mad at me. Hate me for doing this. But take that anger out on me tonight. I want you, Brayden.”
His jaw clenched, and his green eyes darkened to almost gray with anger. For a second, I thought he was going to throw me out. But then he swallowed. “Turn around,” he growled.
My body felt like it had been plugged into an outlet; an electric current raced through me. I would’ve done anything he said. I’d take him however he would give himself to me. So I turned and faced the wall.
Brayden came up behind me and pressed his body to mine. “No condom,” he said. “I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone since you turned my fucking life upside down. If I’m only getting one night, I want to feel you. Want you to feel me. I’m going to bury my cum so deep inside you, it’ll take days for it to seep out.”
Oh, God. Was it possible to have an orgasm without someone even touching you? I nodded. “I’m okay with that. I’ve had an IUD for years.”
Brayden pushed against me harder. He wrapped my hair around his hand and made a fist, giving a good, firm tug. My neck jerked back, and he leaned in and sucked along my pulse line. “Is this what you want?” he growled. “I’m going to leave bite marks the way I’m feeling.”
My eyes rolled to the back of my head as he nipped his way up to my ear. “Go ahead,” I breathed. “I want you to.”
Brayden’s big hand wrapped around me, slipping inside my blouse. When he felt my skin, he stilled. “No bra. You knew I wouldn’t be able to resist you.”
That wasn’t actually true, but I didn’t think this was the right time to debate it. Instead, I pushed my ass against him. “I don’t have any underwear either.”
He groped my chest, pinching one nipple then the other—hard. A jolt of pain shot through me, but it only heightened my desire. “More,” I gasped.
He reached between my legs. “Are you wet for me, Alex?”
I opened my mouth to respond, but the words fell away as his hand slid inside my pants. Brayden’s long fingers stroked up and down over my center and then plunged inside. “Spread wider,” he commanded.
Whatever shame I had about coming here to make this man have sex with me was long gone—left outside his hotel room door. I spread my legs as wide as they could go, feeling desperate.
“So fucking wet,” he growled next to my ear. “So fucking needy. I’m going to finger you until you’re about to come, and then I’m going to stop, show you what it feels like to have something you want so badly taken away from you. That’s how you make me feel by taking you away from me.” He pumped in and out once, twice, then added another finger. “I want you to beg tonight.”
I moaned and shut my eyes. “Yes. Please. I’ll beg. I’ll do anything.”
The sound of his hand slapping against my wetness grew louder as he glided in and out. It was sensory overload—feeling him inside me, the smell of sex, the echo of my arousal bouncing around the room. I was so on edge, I didn’t think I’d last longer than a few more pumps. My breathing hitched, and I felt the ebb before the wave and then…he stopped.
I was mid breath and almost choked on air. Brayden withdrew his fingers. I was still facing the wall, my head turned to the side. My eyes fluttered open just in time to watch Brayden lift his fingers to his mouth and suck my wetness off.
I whimpered.
A wicked smile spread across his face. “Take off your pants so I can finish eating.”
I shimmied out of my joggers and waited for what would come next. But it wasn’t an instruction this time. Brayden dropped to his knees, dipped down, and came up with his mouth directly between my spread legs. As it had been from the start, there was no easing in, no gentle licks and sucks—no, he buried his entire face in my pussy. It was rough and angry, desperate and unapologetic. Brayden moved his face back and forth, lapping at my arousal like he was starving and I was his last meal. The scruff on his cheeks caused a sweet ache in my tender flesh.
“Brayden…”
“So sweet. So fucking sweet, just like you are. But you’re cruel, too.” He sucked hard on my clit and pushed two fingers back inside me.
My cries grew louder, more desperate. “Brayden…” I gyrated my hips, riding his face. “Brayden, please…please don’t stop.”
He answered by once again pulling away, just seconds before I was about to come. Tears welled in my eyes, and I panted as the bastard’s eyes gleamed. He stood and pushed down his sweatpants in one swoop, stepping out. Brayden grabbed my wrist, pulled my arm back, and wrapped my fingers around his cock.
Oh, Jesus. He was so gloriously hard, his skin so smooth and hot. Not to mention, my fingers could barely fit around his girth. I licked my lips, salivating at the thought of taking my turn. But I was not the one in control right now. Brayden’s face still glistened with the evidence of that.
“Bend at the waist.” He placed his palm on my back and pressed, guiding me down. “Two hands on the wall. Eyes forward.”
Once I was folded in half, he wrapped an arm around my stomach and hoisted me up to my toes. I held my breath, waiting for him to enter me from behind. But like everything that had happened since I walked into this room, he caught me by surprise once again.
This time, it was a loud crack, the palm of his hand connecting with the bare skin of my ass. It stung like hell, but before I could complain, Brayden thrust inside me, knocking the wind out of my lungs. He buried himself so deep that his hips were flush against my ass. A vibration spread between us, and I wasn’t even sure which one of us was shaking.
Brayden’s fingers pressed into my hip, and he thrust harder against my ass. “Is this what you want? Me to angry-fuck you?”
“Yes,” I breathed. “Yes.”
“You might not want anything to do with me tomorrow, but I’m going to make you so sore you’ll feel me for days.” He grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged as he pulled almost all the way out, then slammed back in. Again and again. Over and over. It was harsh and punishing, but I couldn’t remember anything ever feeling so good. Once I found my bearings, I moved with him, pushing back when he burrowed in, gripping him tight as he slid almost fully out. My orgasm hadn’t gone very far, so it came barreling back with a vengeance. If he didn’t let me finish this time, I thought I might lose my mind.
“Fuck,” Brayden said, his voice hoarse. “You’re squeezing me so tight, I’m going to explode.” He pumped with a roar—once, twice—and before he could get to three, my body flew over the edge, pulsing with an intensity I’d never felt before.
“Brayden!”
He kept pumping, mumbling a string of curses. My knees weakened, and I worried how much longer I’d be able to keep myself upright. Then, with a roar, Brayden sank deep and stilled, unloading inside of me. I could feel heat seeping through my body.
After, our panting was the only sound in the room. Brayden pulled out and wrapped me in his arms from behind. We stayed that way, in silence, for a long time. Tears prickled at the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let him see them since I’d gotten what I asked for.
“I’m sorry,” he eventually whispered.
I tried to make light of it. “For what? We both finished, didn’t we?”
Brayden turned me around in his arms. It hit me like a punch in the gut when I saw tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Oh God, no. Don’t apologize. I asked you to.”
He shook his head, looking down. “It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out with sex. You mean more to me than that.”
I cupped his cheek. “You mean a lot to me, too, Brayden. That might be hard to believe, but you brought me back to life.”
“I can’t let you go like this. I’ll never forgive myself if the last moments we spend together are filled with anger. Will you stay with me tonight?”
I was so far gone for this man, a couple of hours couldn’t possibly make it harder to walk away. I didn’t want to leave him feeling guilt for something I’d caused. So I nodded. “I’d like that.”
He half smiled. “Maybe we should move away from the door then?”
Until now, I hadn’t noticed that we were still standing in the hall and hadn’t made it into the actual room. I smiled. “That might be a good idea.”
“How about I give you one of my shirts to change into, and we order some room service?”
“That sounds perfect.”
***
I was wrong.
I hadn’t thought it could get any harder to walk away, but after a night like this one—it was going to be hell. Brayden and I had stayed up until all hours—eating, talking, sharing a bottle of wine. We laughed, we held each other, somehow we pretended it wasn’t the end.
But now the sun was coming up, and it was getting harder to breathe. My head lay on his bare chest while he stroked my hair. Neither of us had said a word for the last half hour. I’d forced us to where we were now, so it was going to have to be me to end it—even if it was the absolute last thing I wanted to do.
“I should probably get going,” I whispered.
Brayden’s hand stilled. “No, not yet. I need to do something first.”
I turned, propping my chin on top of my fist. “What?”
He sat up, gently turning us so I was on my back, and kissed my lips gently. “I want to make love to you, Alex.”
I swallowed, tasting salt in my throat, and nodded.
Brayden reached for my hand, brought it to his mouth, and kissed it. “I will never regret the time we’ve had together. You’ve taught me what love is—it means someone else’s happiness is more important than your own. And because of that, I’m not going to bother you or make things harder. I will let you go. Because it’s what you need. But I want you to know, there won’t be a day that goes by that I won’t be thinking of you.”
Tears welled in my eyes again. When he pressed his lips to mine, it was unlike any of the other times we’d kissed. It was filled with more emotion, more passion, and…love. I made a conscious decision to let go of all of my worries, of all my concerns about protecting myself and everyone else, and let myself get lost in this man. Even if it was only this once.
Brayden climbed on top of me as our kiss heated up, and I spread my legs wide, inviting him in. He rocked back and forth, working his bare cock against my clit, and spreading my arousal between us. When things built to a frenzy, he pulled back, never taking his eyes from mine as he pushed inside.
“I swear, Alex.” His eyes closed briefly. “Nothing has ever felt so good.”
We moved in unison, our bodies growing slick with sweat, kissing each other like we were the air we needed to breathe. Never in my life had I experienced such a connection—we were one in mind, body, and soul.
But too soon, the tension built. It might’ve been the first time I didn’t want to have an orgasm, because I knew at the end, it would be over. I wanted this moment to last forever. But of course, it couldn’t. Brayden’s jaw clenched, the speed of his thrusts increasing, and I knew he was trying to prolong it just like I was.
“Fuck,” he gritted. “I can’t hold back much more. You feel too good.”
Those words were all it took for my body to fly over the edge. My muscles began pulsing on their own, squeezing his cock tight as I let out a loud moan.
“I can feel you,” he groaned. “Feel you coming all around me.”
He bucked a few more times before he finally let himself go, gazing into my eyes. It was a moment I would remember forever.
Long after, Brayden continued to glide in and out, still semi erect, even after such a powerful orgasm. He kissed my lips gently and pushed my hair from my face. “I need you to know something, Alex.”
My voice was barely a whisper. “What?”
He looked back and forth between my eyes. “I am totally and helplessly in love with you.”
My heart clenched, and I cupped his face. “Oh, Brayden.”
He smiled sadly. “I might’ve learned that true love is selfless, but right now, I needed to be selfish and tell you my truth.”
“Thank you. Thank you for always giving me your honesty.”
Too soon, Brayden had to get out of bed to get to Ryan’s House. The only other person with a key wasn’t going to be there today. The mood was heavy with melancholy as we got dressed. I was at least grateful this wouldn’t be the last time I’d see him. I wasn’t sure I could handle a clean break quite yet.
“Take your time getting to the house,” Brayden said. “We’re waiting on a few deliveries anyway.”
“Okay.” I tried to force a smile, but failed. “I’m going to go back to my room and shower. I’ll probably be there in about an hour.”
He nodded, pushing his hands into his pants pockets. A half hour ago, we’d been connected in a way I didn’t know existed, yet suddenly the interactions between us felt awkward, like neither of us knew how to end the night. This was my fault, so it had to be me. I pushed up and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you later.”
Walking out of that hotel room felt nearly impossible. It didn’t get any easier over the next forty-five minutes either. I took a shower in a fog, couldn’t even remember drying my hair, and barely had the energy to put on a little makeup. Just as I was getting ready to leave, there was a knock at my door. I opened it to find Brayden standing there.
“I was just about to head out.”
He frowned. “Don’t bother. When I got to the house, I found this on the door.”
Brayden held up a piece of paper, the top three words in big, bold letters:
STOP WORK ORDER
I felt panic in my chest. “What is this?”
“The city building department also slid some papers under the door, violations for not having proper work permits. Apparently the electrician I hired didn’t file the paperwork he was supposed to, and the town is now saying we have an environmental issue. Some cesspool under the ground wasn’t filled in right years ago.”
“Years ago? But none of that is your fault. Can they do this? Make us shut down?”
“It’s a fifteen-hundred-dollar-per-day fine if we do anything more on the house and get caught. I can’t risk it.”
“What are you going to do?”
Brayden raked a hand through his hair. “I’ll call my lawyer first thing Monday morning and then go down to the building department, see how I go about getting this taken care of.”
“What about the volunteers? What will they do?”
“There’s nothing any of them can do this weekend. We’re done until I can get this fixed. I already sent out a group text, hoping maybe I’d catch some of them before they drove over.” Brayden looked into my eyes. “I guess everyone who’s already here can just go back home.”