The Purge

“Take me to church/ I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies/ I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife/ Offer me that deathless death/ Good God, let me give you my life.”

Take me to church; Hozier

I was scared.

My body still trembled from Con’s kiss. I could still feel him on my lips and it sent my heart racing. It scared me. As I walked to my room, my mind wandered off to an emotion I could not fathom. I refused to close my eyes and think of him. I refused to feel weak. There are eyes everywhere and one might have seen Con and I kissing in the dark. It’s just enough to ruin us both.

Absentmindedly, I placed my hand on my lips. Con’s lips and touch lingered and flames sent trickles of heat to my face. I really shouldn’t be thinking of this right now. There’s a war coming and I should be focusing on the rule of law and not in the rule of my emotions.

“Did you enjoy your night out?” I flinched at the sound of Fygun’s voice.

“It’s all right. We got Halley back safely to her room.” I answered smoothly.

Fygun sneered at me. I didn’t like the way his eyes shine. It sent my heart racing everywhere. It told me of three terrifying things: Hatred. Danger. Anger.

“Liar.”

I found myself moving back, away from him. I wasn’t able to help myself. He took strong strides towards me. He grabbed my arm forcefully and I stumbled back to him.

“Do you want to tell me something, Bri?” he demanded, mockery formed in the coherent curve of his lips.

I composed myself and I tilted my chin. “No.”

He gripped my arm tightly and I suppressed the urge to scream. He had hurt me. He has never hurt me. His eyes burned with rage.

“I saw you with Conleth, Bri!”

He lets go of me and I stumble back to the wall to support myself.

“I love you.” My heart broke with his words. He doesn’t deserve such pain and yet I have hurt him the same way. But he knew me. He knew my secrets before I knew them myself.

I opened my mouth to blunt words I know I couldn’t take back if I wanted to. “I love you too.”

He shook his head. Mad tears fell on his cheeks. “That’s not what I see in your eyes.”

“Fygun—”

“Do you love him?” he asked and I pasted myself on the wall, biting my lip hard. But it was the silence that he needed. It was the silence that gave him the answer.

He glared at me until I shattered. He stormed out of the hallway with my fear following his trail. At that moment, I know I have made a choice. My feet had found its purpose and I ran the other way around.