The Purge

“You need a helping hand and I’m afraid of dying. You can’t fight alone and I don’t want to be alone.”

Antigoddess; Kendare Blake

Trust me.

Trust. Such a big word and yet it’s a hard thing to gain.

My commander beat me around the Training Room like a punching bag while my supposed to be mentor watched on the sidelines. I deserved a round of applause in a boxing arena for obscure martyrdom. My body ached entirely like I was rolled over by a truck. But I survived.

I realized that the world doesn’t need super heroes. It needed survivors. Some beautiful melodies are meant to tell horrible things. We should try not to sugar coat everything in this world.

If you will not hurt, you will never learn.

Pain makes us a living organism and fear is a trigger that keeps us alive. Pain and fear when combined, makes us brave. How ironic but yes, it does. Every day, I face them and inch by inch, limb by limb, I try to become a soldier.

I’ve known fear all my life. I almost wear it every day like a suit. It hid under my beddings every night. I could not find my own courage. It seemed to me that it didn’t want to be found. That was until they came for us, I was then old enough to understand what life, death and blood meant. They displayed it right in front of me like watching a movie. But I was too young to fight and too weak to stand against them. It felt unfair to be a child by then. You could not do anything but hide and run.

And so I waited.

I watched Bri’s hand outstretched to me. It looked like the world in a different shape. But when I looked up and met her eyes, they were a set of fire and ice blended into one. Conleth trusted her. Athren trusted her. Sigourney, despite in the verge of death, she trusted her.

Don’t allow them to hurt you.

Images of the world around me when I was a child windowed my present. The world was in grayscale back then. But now, I don’t want to be a child anymore. It’s time to find that courage and hold it in my hands like a weapon.

I grabbed Bri’s hand. She grasped it firmly and she pulled me up to my feet.

“I don’t need heroes in my army.” She said. Her calm demeanor looked like a gem stone. One that’s very hard to crack. “I need Addonexus who can fight alongside with me.” she squeezed my hand. “Can I trust you on this, Halley?”

I released her hand and I took a step back to give her a salute. She stood firmly in her place and saluted me back.

“Yes, chief.”

I won’t allow them to hurt me.

We’ve been training for days now. We’ve been preparing ourselves for a battle we’ve never fought before. Each passing day felt like a minute clock and each second we held our breaths for the worse. We learned to endure battles of our own and to specialize in other stigmas apart from what we know.

Try harder. Bri would always push us to the point she would provoke us in order to perform well. The commander’s a bit of a sadist you know. I have no idea what she truly specializes in. I think she can do anything as simple as blinking an eye.

Conleth was an easier mentor though. At least he doesn’t make my life that miserable to commit suicide. He still helps me with my combat skills and keeps me out of trouble (most of the time).

Athren, who I recently learned was a Hailbringer, could perform massive hail storms with a snap of his fingers. I don’t want to be under his radar when he’s not in the mood. Too much air pressure in the head would be excruciating. I’m totally fine with breathing.

And Sigourney; Bri calls her a Rogue—just like me. It sounded like she’s assuming we’re thieves but then I realized it’s a term they used to describe people whose abilities are under the words light and dark. It’s a short cut for lesser pun. She mastered in electro kinesis like a school degree. I find it “electrifying”. A marriage of words I formed between electric and terrifying.

I feel useless most of the time. My comrades here could perform better than me. I mean, what could I possibly do best than regenerate faster than them? I could inflict a wound if I wanted to. But then they could do it too by handing a weapon. Every time we operate as a group in Inception Trials I’d end up in the Rear Guard or the “support unit”. Don’t want to complain most especially when the attacker would mostly and gladly attack first at the front. But I sincerely don’t want to act as the “playing safe” in the group. So, instead of cowering again, I think of the pressure that my comrades are counting on me. It felt like the world is on top of my head than my shoulders.

The Inception Trials are part of the Agoge Training for the Krypteia Program. During these trials, all of us would wake up in simulations prepared by the Zenith through Colonel Black. Sometimes, we’d be in a Gladiator Arena, Dust Lands, Jungle—the simulations even made it to the point we were in front of a huge Gate. But our formations had been intact. We’d first had our backs face each other so that we won’t be caught off guard. If we die in the trials, our bodies will also die in the waking world. So we extremely valued our lives.

There are seven types of Inception Trials. The Andabata—you fight blind; the Arbelas—you fight with a single weapon; the Cetus—fist fight; the Dimachaerus—you fight with weapons in each hand; the Sagguitarius—you fight with arrows or through arrows; the Bestarius—you fight with beasts; and lastly, the Bustuarius—hailed as the famous “tomb fight” during the Ancient Gladiator times, otherwise known as the fight to the death. But obviously, the last one was banned in the trials. The Legislators won’t allow their precious Addonexus to die before the Gates could open. That would be a great catastrophe to society.

Athren and Sigourney acted as the Middle Guards or the Second Unit. Bri stood next to Conleth who was assigned to be the Vanguard. It’s a strategy that Bri had thought since we could gladly use Con’s fire breathing ability and heat pressed attitude. Sometimes, Bri would place Sig next to me just in case a bestiary would ragingly come out at the back first and I’d go dead bomb. I could really use her electrifying ability—help.

I wanted to be brave and to be useful. Still I’d look out at Barriers every day; I’d hear them buzzing weakly like crying seagulls. The day would eventually come where everything wouldn’t be like the trials anymore. The time would come when the Gates are no longer equipped to hold us safely. If they would come, mankind would once again be torn into bits and pieces. I’ve thought of my dad. I couldn’t bear it if anything bad will happen to him.

I need to be brave. I need to be strong. I need to be. I need to be… now.

I punched the dummy in the face with my iron knuckles. The sack crumpled on my attack, leaving an angry punch hole.

The others had left already for their afternoon break while I remained in the Training Room waking up muscles and breaking sweat.

“What did the dummy ever do to you?” I turned to see Bri sitting on the railings of the second floor. I shrugged. What was I supposed to say? I’m pissed because I couldn’t do what you can do. I couldn’t be of value to your army. I couldn’t be a soldier without being strong.

Her lips quirked up to what looked like a smile. She slid off the railing and landed on the first floor, feet first like a cat. I felt my eyebrows knit together. She looked at me as if she could see into my mind. Thoughts of my former bunk mates entered my head like traffic.

“I hope you didn’t read my mind.” I said as she made her way to me.

“I hate to disappoint you but I don’t do that. It’s an invasion of privacy.” She said as she examined the hole I managed to make out of the dummy’s face. “Besides,” she turned to me with a challenging stare. “What were you thinking?”

“That you’re a bitch.” I prompted.

She snorted but she didn’t smile. This is why Conleth couldn’t make a move at her even just to get a kiss. He’d be sitting on his butt for years before he could do that.

“I know you’re scared.” She said and I snapped out of my delusions. I let my eyebrows do the questioning to her. “I used to know a girl who cowers under her bed.”

That would probably be me. She clearly had my records on her display and she’s reading it out loud to me.

“She used the comfort of the darkness thinking no one would hurt her there. The light can be blinding sometimes.” She said as she stared off to space. “But eventually, the authorities had found her.”

“What happened to her?” I asked.

Bri let the dummy fall on the ground as she released it off its hinges. She went to pick up her gun on one of the brief cases and placed it at her jean’s back pocket. It’s against the rules to bring weapons out of the Training Rooms but then this is Bri. I know better than to speculate.

“You should be resting.” She said as she started towards the door. “The next set of trials will begin this evening.”

I nodded. I watched her as she left but she stopped by the door.

“It’s all right to be scared, Halley.” She said. “Fear is a motivator. You’re not human if you’re not scared. You’ll never be brave if you’ve never been scared.”

“Have you ever been scared?” I asked.

She gave me a small smile. “More than once.”

I watched the dummy on the ground as its contents started to flow out of its battered head. I started to follow Bri out of the Training Room.

Then my display started to flare red.