The Perfect Run

Ryan picked up two ladies in Rust Town, with a skeletal zombie chained to his
car hood.
“Seriously?” Ryan asked his girlfriend with skeptical eyes. While Fortuna came to
the mission with her sensual, white-latex catsuit, Livia brought a pair of jeans and
a blue hoodie. “I'm not letting you in.”
“I'm sorry, it's the only practical clothing I could grab in an hour,” Livia apologized.
Ryan's loops began while she was having a girl's day out with Fortuna, and
although it allowed the two to slip away from the Augusti undetected in spite of
Geist's sudden disappearance, it didn't give them enough time to find the perfect
outfit. “But it's cotton!”
“Passable,” Ryan replied with a shrug, before reluctantly letting them in. The
courier had come fully prepared, with the Fisty Brothers gauntlets and two
submachine guns waiting on the front seat. He had even gotten the bowler hat
out of storage, ready for war, and convinced Paulie to hand over his secret
weapon.
It was amazing how much one could achieve in an hour with the perfect timing
and little traffic.
Ryan would rather have more time to prepare, but they couldn't wait any longer.
Big Fat Adam was about to throw his captives into the meat-grinder any second
now.
“Livy, you should have told me,” Fortuna said as she and Livia climbed at the
back. “I had a back-up suit!”
“I know, but...” Her best friend responded with an awkward smile. “I find it a little
indecent...”
“I-it's not indecent, it's gawking!” Fortuna complained with a blush, as Ryan drove
through the district's desolate streets. “And is that a real skeleton on the car
hood?”
“Help!” Ghoul suddenly screamed at the car's front, startling Fortuna. The Psycho
had lost both his legs and hands, leaving only the head and rib cage chained
below the windshield. “Help me, he’s mad! He's mad!”
“Shush, my little astronaut,” Ryan said with a soft, gentle tone. It made the
undead Psycho cower in fear. “Living people are talking.”
“Don't worry, he deserves it,” Livia explained to Fortuna, before glancing at her
boyfriend. “Felix and the others will arrive a few minutes after us.”
“Good, I can make a great first impression then.” Ryan smashed the accelerator,
and aimed straight for the Junkyard. Ghoul screamed, as the district's toxic wind
battered his naked eyes.
“Felix is coming too?” Fortuna asked at the back, eminently curious. Since she
acted as Livia's bodyguard and trusted her best friend absolutely, she must have
come without asking many questions. “He’s coming back to us?”
“No,” Livia replied, “but Ryan convinced him to make an effort and keep in touch.”
“You did?” Lucky Girl glanced at the handsome driver with renewed respect. “You
know, I was about to say Livia was too good for you, but I take it back!”
“Thank you, thank you,” Ryan said, as he noticed the trash walls of the Junkyard
appearing in the distance. “Where is my payment?”
“The ammo?” Fortuna gave Ryan a handful of pointed, arrow-shaped bullets.
Ryan grabbed a gun while the Plymouth Fury drove by itself. “You're in luck, the
gunshop had some in stock! What did you need these bullets for?”
“Whale hunting,” Ryan replied, as he loaded the ammo in his gun and
showcased it to his girlfriend. “Sixteen rounds, 9mm. It can quickly fire round
after round without pause.”
“Hard question.” Livia gave him a playfullook. “Does it ever jam?”
“Never, nor does it overheat. It can keep pumping out rounds all night long.”
Ryan gently caressed the tip of the barrel. “Though I often need help with the
safety catch.”
“Good, I have a firm but gentle handle on these things,” his girlfriend said with a
coy voice, as she grabbed the Fisty Brothers and put them on. “I could help with
the... fingerwork.”
“Be gentle though,” Ryan warned, as he put his weapon inside his trench coat,
right between the sleeping Plushie and the Bliss inhaler. “The barrel is one of a
kind and the trigger is very sensitive. One wrong move, and it'll fire too soon.”
“Are you talking about weapons or something else?” Fortuna asked, as red as a
tomato.
“I have Paulie’s rocket launcher below your seat, if you want to try a heavier
caliber,” Ryan said innocently. “I hope you're open to new experiences, because
your target is a she.”
Before Fortuna could protest, Len’s voice came out of the Chronoradio. “I'm in
position, Riri.”
“What about Henriette and Eugéne-Henry?” Ryan asked back, as they came into
view of the Junkyard. Hills of trash and stacks of cars overshadowed a fence,
shielded by the Reptilian and Gemini. Both observed the car approaching in
confusion, while Ghoul screamed in terror.
“At the orphanage with Sarah.”
Perfect.
“Ghoul?!” The Reptilian shouted upon recognizing his teammate, his reptilian
eyes widening in terror.
In response, Ryan opened his window and pointed a finger at the US
government's secret lizardman master. “Witness me!”
Gemini's light body instantly vanished in a flash of light, while the Reptilian
narrowly managed to leap out of the way before the crazed driver could hit him.
Ryan's car smashed through the fence at full speed.
Ryan drove through the Junkyards labyrinth of trash walls like a conquered
realm, ignoring the Psychos scavenging in the area. Mongrel glanced at the
intruders from atop a rusted car, his teeth sinking into a living rat's back.
Having grown to know the guy in previous loops, the sight filled Ryan with
compassion. Mongrel truly didn’t deserve being turned into an animal, and the
courier would make sure to help him take his life back.
Instead of attacking, Ryan tossed grenades behind him to collapse some of the
trash walls and disrupt ground-based reinforcements. His own would come from
above anyway.
By the time someone sounded the alarm and the sound of bells echoed in the
Junkyard, Ryan's group was almost in view of the bunker’s entrance. The driver
sensed the heavy gaze of the Land on him, and a quake sent debris falling on his
car. Having lived through this situation multiple times, the time traveler easily
zigzagged around the improvised projectiles.
When Ryan reached the Junkyard’s landmark trash tower and the tunnel leading
to the bunker, he noticed two shadows flying in the skies above. Two would-be
heroes, floating on glass surfboards.
Unfortunately, toxic clouds already formed above the Junkyard, as Acid Rain and
Mosquito moved to protect the tunnel's entrance. “Thieves!” the former snarled
as she drew knives. Much like Mongrel before her, the sight of her maddened
expression made Ryan pity her. “Thie—"
“Blondie, shoot!” The courier shouted, as he veered his car to the left. “Shoot the
other blonde! Double blondie!”
“Alright!” Fortuna opened the car's door mid-motion and leaped out of it, Paulie’s
rocket launcher in hand. She pressed the trigger before she even landed on her
feet, aiming for Acid Rain.
The surprised Psycho took a step back as a rocket with a smiley face painted on
the tip flew straight at her. She immediately teleported above a trash wall as an
acid drizzle started raining down from the toxic clouds above. It helped little, for
the Genius-tech missile followed and forced her to retreat; it would take minutes
for the projectile to run out of fuel, keeping Acid Rain occupied.
Mosquito, meanwhile, extended his wings and rushed at the Plymouth Fury with
a fist raised. He only noticed the shadow above him all too late, a black and white
angel of death and destruction.
Timmy had leaped from his glass surfboard, and transformed mid-flight.
“FLYING PRESS!"
The gracefully landed on Mosquito like a fly swatter, and buried him alive
beneath pounds of fur and fat.
Felix’s landing was far more gracious, as his glass surfboard landed in the middle
of the courtyard. Ryan parked his Plymouth Fury right next to it, stepping out of
the car alongside Livia with grace and dignity.
“Felix!” Fortuna rejoiced at her brother's presence, tossing the empty rocket
launcher away. Livia handed her best friend a submachine gun as a replacement,
while Ryan claimed the other for himself.
“You know, sis, I always wondered how a team-up would go,” Atom Cat replied,
before noticing Mongrel leaping into view atop a trash wall. The maddened
Psycho summoned a fireball into his hand.
“Remember, kitten, no lethal force,” Ryan said. “Stick to pebbles!”
“Yeah, yeah, I've got this,” he replied before grabbing empty tin cans from the
trash walls, turning them into bombs, and tossing them at Mongrel. His projectiles
and the Psycho's hit each other in the air, sparking a devastating blast.
Unfortunately, the explosion caused a weakened trash wall to collapse on itself
and cast a rain of debris on Fortuna, the and Mosquito. Felix's eyes immediately
widened in panic, as he realized his screw-up. “Sis!” he shouted as loudly as he
could. “Sis!”
While Timmy managed to drag his unconscious enemy out of danger, Lucky Girl
was too close to dodge. She looked at the collapsing debris with shock, as her
power somehow failed to deflect them.
Ryan almost froze time and rushed to her rescue, before noticing Livia smiling.
A second later, an invisible force grabbed the living lottery ticket, carrying her
above the ground and to safety.
By now, Ryan should have known better.
“We'll take it from here, Quicksave,” Shroud declared as he became visible,
holding a blushing Fortuna in his arms bridal style. And her power didn’t even
need to force his hand this time around! “Clean-up the nest.”
Felix didn’t hide his relief. “Thanks,” he said to Mathias, before focusing back on
Mongrel.
His sister's reaction was far less refined. “Felix, you screw-up, you almost dirtied
my clothes!” she complained, shouting so loudly that Shroud winced. “I will
strangle you if the mutants don’t kill you first!”
“I would suggest drowning him, he doesn't like being wet,” Ryan replied, as he
and Livia moved into the shaking tunnel. Before he abandoned the surface, the
courier gave the situation a cursory glance.
These events were so familiar, yet different. A scenario honed through multiple
repetitions, built upon information he had collected over many loops, executed by
allies he had gathered on his journey. After so long, it was all coming together.
And yet he immediately noticed something utterly new. Something he never
imagined would happen, except in his wildest dreams.
His Plymouth Fury...
His Plymouth Fury hadn't taken any damage!
“It's a holy sign,” Ryan muttered to himself with religious awe.
“And if we do our part right, it will make it through the day intact,” Livia said with a
grin.
Perfect Run confirmed!
The couple rushed into the tunnel while its walls trembled, the Land attempting to
collapse them. The duo quickly reached the bunkers black door entrance and
faced a pack of four Dynamis drones.
“I take the left, you take the righ—" Ryan asked his girlfriend, before sensing a
chill down his sp—
When Ryan regained consciousness, the couple was walking through the blast
doors while leaving four wrecked bots in their wake.
“You were saying?” Livia asked, teasing him by caressing the Fisty Brothers.
“You're greedy, Miss Augusti,” Ryan complained, as the tunnel collapsed behind
them.
“Greedy, me?” She replied with a smirk, as they entered the metal corridor
leading to the bunker’s main hall. “You are the one keeping the best stuff for
yourself!”
“And here I was preparing you a big surprise...” Ryan glanced through the
reinforced windows to the hangars beyond, and at Psyshock’s thralls toiling on
Mechron’s mech and submarine. He noticed Len’s armored head peeking over
the waters linking the underground complex to the sea outside, and waved at her
through the reinforced glass.
“A surprise, Mr. Romano?” Livia asked, suddenly interested. “I love surprises.”
“For the Dynamis date, princess,” Ryan said, as Len suddenly emerged from the
waters and attacked the thralls with her bubble rifle. “The Dynamis date.”
“I can’t wait,” she said, as they entered the bunker’s recreational area. Much like
in Ryan's suicide run, six Psychos occupied the room. Sarin, the liquid Ink
Machine, and the faceless Incognito played pool alongside the sickly white, bald
Pale Guy. Rakshasa played Street Fighter on the room's arcade, while a
disembodied Asian woman's head floated behind the bar counter. Ryan
remembered her name as the dreaded Fuckface.
Sarin hit a ball with a cue stick, before looking up at the newcomers. She didn't
say a word, and for a brief instant, the courier worried that the transfer hadn't
worked.
Thankfully, they had agreed on a secret code to test that out.
“The fart is in the toilet,” Ryan said, before clocking his submachine gun. “I
repeat, the fart is in the toile—"
“I heard you for the first time, jackass.” Bianca let out a sigh as she put her cue
stick aside. “Took you long enough.”
“You know these guys, Sarin?” Ink Machine asked, falsely reassured by her
teammate’s casualness. “They're new recruits?”
“The new management,” Bianca replied, before suddenly pointing her vibrating
gauntlets at both Ink Machine and Rakshasa. She blasted them both by surprise,
turning the former into a puddle and blasting the latter headfirst into the arcade.
“Bianca, you heartless monster!” Ryan mourned the arcade game, before
opening fire at the other Psychos. Though he was careful not to kill any of them,
he didn't even manage to wound them. Incognito dived behind the pool table for
protection, while Fuckface materialized crimson arms of energy to deflect the
bullets. Pale Guy simply dodged, but Livia quickly moved to engage him in
melee.
“Sarin, you traitor!” Fuckface snarled from behind the counter. “Incognito, call
Frank!”
Incognito hastily rushed towards the elevator, but Ryan quickly shot him in the
knees with his submachine gun. The Meta-Gang member collapsed on the
ground with bloodied legs, writhing in pain.
“Sorry, you'll live,” Ryan apologized to the faceless Psycho, before turning his
submachine gun at the bar counter. “We meet again, Fuckface! Won't say I
missed you though.”
“That's not my name!” the floating head complained, before spitting a stream of
acid at the time-traveler.
Ryan frowned behind his mask as he froze time and dodged. Her name was... it
was...
Wait, she was right! The courier had nicknamed her Fuckface on his first suicide
run and never bothered to look deeper afterward. Pale Guy too, now that he
thought of it. They hadn't survived their group’s civil war either during his Meta-
Gang run, so he never got to know them in-depth either.
“No way, I never learned these two mooks’ names!” Ryan complained as time
resumed. By then, he had closed the gap with Fuckface, tossed his submachine
gun aside, and grabbed her by the hair. Before the Psycho could retaliate with
her energy arms, the courier violently smashed her head against the bar counter
with enough force to splinter it, knocking her unconscious. Her energy tentacles
vanished into Red Flux particles. “Bianca, what are these redshirts called?”
“Does it matter, nerd?” Bianca asked, as she started targeting Pale Guy. The
Psycho dodged her blast, but Livia exploited the opportunity to flank him from
another direction. Repeated attacks from multiple fronts quickly pushed him back
against a corner.
“Yes it does,” Ryan said, as he stepped over a bloodied Incognito and an
unconscious Rakshasa. “I'm a completionist.”
"Catcher and Penanggalan,” Livia replied as she finally managed to hit Pale Guy
in the chest with Fisty. The blow sent the Psycho hitting the nearest wall,
knocking him out of the fight.
Pfft, Fuckface sounded better. Ryan would make changing her name a top
priority, when he took back his office of the Meta-Gang’s president for life. Still,
the courier could now carry on his Perfect Run with a clear conscience and
moved towards the elevator.
“Alright, can you drag these guys to Shortie for safekeeping?” Ryan asked his
teammates, with the same tone as someone running through a shopping list.
“And help her with the thralls outside? There's a lot of them.”
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« )
Sure, but don't take too long
SL o : E
downstairs,” Livia said while dragging
the dizzied Fuckface away Bignaa,
EE trapped
inpltid e form with weak vibrations.
“ : R
I want to invite everyone afterward
to celebrate, and the restaurant
closes early. Also, Dad will start
. f . »
worrying now that Geist is gone.” The
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“Thai, or French?” Ryan asked before pushing the lift's button, knowing that she
disliked Japanese food.
“Russian, to try something new!” His girlfriend replied right as the elevator’s
doors closed.
Oh well, at least Shortie would like it.
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The lift reached its destination, and
Ryan quickly made his way through
) ;
the bunkers hub room and metal
corridor. He hastily seqched the
©
infirpatyy shad'found Psyshock
brainwashing two Rust Town addicts
strapped to operation tables. He
raised his head at Ryan, while the
ean]
courier's hand reached out for the
Bliss inhaler hidden beneath his
trench coat. The content is on
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chapter there!
“Little Cesare.” Pyshock didn’t show any fear at the sudden intrusion,
overconfident in his immortality. “How strange to—"
Ryan froze time and applied the inhaler to his hated foe's face right before the
clock resumed.
“Don’t worry, Psypsy,” Ryan taunted Psyshock, before activating the inhaler.
“This... is not meth.”
The surprised Psycho’s tentacles trashed around as Bliss spread through his
nervous system, but Ryan held strong. Psyshock’s energy quickly left him as the
overdose paralyzed his brain, and the psychotic metal squid collapsed on the
ground. The courier gave him a quick kick, before hiding the Bliss inhaler in a
pocket.
“Agent Frank!” Ryan called out, knowing the metal giant was waiting a few rooms
away. That was how Psyshock had sicced him on the courier halfway through the
first suicide run. “Agent Frank, hurry! Russian agents poisoned the VP with
Soviet caviar!”
The colossal giant of steel came rushing inside the infirmary, to find a maskless
Ryan holding the drugged Psyshock in his arms, crocodile tears running down
his cheeks.
“Agent Frank, US secret service!” The giant threatened Ryan with a raised fist.
“Identify yourself!”
“Ryan Romano, CIA!" Ryan sobbed. “We survived Pearl Harbor together! Us and
Sergeant Arch Dornan! Don't you remember the boat, Agent Frank? The boat?”
A confused Frank the Mad waved an index finger at Ryan, as he remembered a
day that never happened. “You were the Private! The Private on the boat!”
Thank God Livia predicted how to get inside his head. “You saved my life, Agent
Frank, and today, I pay my debt.” Ryan wiped away his false tears. “I did all I
could to save him, but the air... the communists poisoned even the air, Agent
Frank!”
“I knew they put something in the airplanes!” Frank immediately looked at the
drooling Psyshock with a worried gaze. “What can we do?”
“I did all I could to save him, but this is a communist coup, Agent Frank. They're
trying to destroy the government!”
Only now did Agent Frank understand the true threat their democracy faced. “The
President is down there!” The giant panicked. “We must secure his safety!”
“No, Agent Frank, not we. It's a suicide mission.” Ryan delicately gave the
drooling Psyshock to Frank, who held him in his arms like a secret treasure. “I
will do it. You stay here and protect the Vice-President from a Russian
counterattack, until Agent Sarin comes back with medical help.”
“The US Secret Service does not—"
“Democracy can only survive if..." Ryan cleared his throat, his voice as heavy as
a soldier marching to certain death. “If you live, Agent Frank. If the President
dies, the Vice-President... the Vice-Presidency must endure. Do you understand
this, Agent Frank?”
Ryan let out a long, long sigh, as he put his mask and bowler hat on. “Let me die
for my country,” he pleaded, before adjusting his hat, “as a hero.”
“I understand,” Frank the Mad Lad replied, before offering Ryan a military salute
with one hand while holding Psyshock in the other. “Semper Fi.”
“Semper Fi." Ryan returned the salute, before walking out of the infirmary with a
heavy heart.
There. According to Livia, if dealt in that way, Frank would follow orders and
remain in the infirmary until the group could secure the rest of the bunker.
So far the Meta-Gang's rout was total, but the main course waited a few rooms
ahead.
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Leaving the neutralized Frank and
Psyshock behind, Ryan continued
deeper into the complex and reached
a familiar undergrpbiad dndmber
Seyéh Most Elixir vats were lined
up on a nearby wall, half of them
occupied by mutated test subjects.
’
One of the chamber's two blast doors
was opened, and the courier heard
footsteps echo from this direction.
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“You know, since I've been in New Rome, I've fought aliens, Psychos, and
power-mad Genomes, and few left a big impression.” Ryan grabbed his Beretta,
as his foe stepped out of the darkness. “But you, fatass? Your shadow cast a
heavy presence.”
Augustus was stronger and Fallout more determined, but the Meta-Gang's leader
was shrewder, crueler, and in the end, more dangerous.
That was why he had to die first.
“What can I say, mate? I've hurt lots of people, and today will be an all-you-can-
eat-buffet.” Adam the Ogre emerged from the shadow with a hand behind his
back, his carbon skin as black as his soul, the grin on his face vicious and cruel.
“But gotta say... I've never tasted a fellow Violet before.”
“Make that last loop count, Bibendum,” Ryan said, as he raised his gun. “You
won't get another.”