novelxo Chapter 6
Imogen
I made my way out of my car and into the school hallway with trepidation, determined to avoid Nate and his crew. I was determined not to talk to anyone or wait to hear their disparaging comments about me. All I wanted to do today was to turn in my assignments, attend classes, leave school, go to work, and return to Tom’s house, where he had given me a room of my own, no strings attached.
Since I was at least 20 minutes late and most students were in class, I strolled to my locker to get the books for my next class.
I was just about to open it when a hand gripped my arm and dragged me away from my locker. It took me only ten seconds to recognize the grip as Nate’s.
My heart ached even as I stopped struggling and allowed him to drag me wherever he wanted. I schooled my features for what I was about to do. I was finally going to release Nate from our true mate bond by accepting his rejection.
Because I couldn’t do this anymore, I couldn’t loathe myself, my father, my mom, and my body any more.
Life had done me dirty, yes. But I was ready to pick up the pieces of me that were still left and nurse them to wholeness.
And I was no longer the Imogen who thought life started and ended in the Paxon pack. I wanted a better life for myself now. I wanted to be better, and I wanted to become a valuable asset that wasn’t dependent on a pack or a mate.
I had spoken to Tom about his experiences in the Supernatural Council and I had done some digging on the internet about all the legitimate organizations that took in supernaturals and werewolves with or without a pack because I wanted to find stories to help me chart a new trajectory for my life. I had found some, but I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life yet.
I had also started reading self-help books recently. One particular book about reinventing yourself for a happy life taught me that I needed to learn to love myself.
Struggling to be with a mate who didn’t love me or want me and always reminded me of that whenever he could was the best way to set myself up for a miserable life. So, I needed to let go.
Although sex with Nate and the cuddling afterward usually helped me forget, I had found that Nate’s hurtful words usually made me feel worse. And he always had hurtful things to say about me, even sometimes while we were having sex.
I didn’t know when, but somehow, my relationship with Nate had become very toxic. And I had only just realized it now.
Now, more than ever, I needed to grow to be a better person who could stand on her own because, in all likelihood, if Nate mated with Harriet, I would have to leave the pack.
So, after some weeks of retrospection about everything, I decided to accept Nate’s rejection.
In typical Nate fashion, he dragged me into a janitor’s closet. “Where the hell have you been?”
I looked away sharply, trying to resist the powerful urge to cry as I replied nonchalantly, “I’ve been busy.”
“Do you know how worried I have been? You’ve been busy doing what? Fucking other guys?” He hissed.
I looked away, and he held a hand under my chin as a look of disgust flashed across his face. “You actually slept with another guy, didn’t you?”
I made my eyes as empty of the emotions I was feeling as possible and said, “It doesn’t matter anymore. I give up, okay? You were right. I’m not fit to be the Luna of the pack. I accept your rejection.”
He stared into my eyes for a moment that seemed like a lifetime to me. “What are you saying? If you do this, you cut all ties to me, you know?”
“Don’t worry, since I’m essentially just human, I’ll just leave the pack so you can mate Harriet like you wanted. Even if I were return to the pack, there will be nothing between us.”
Because I didn’t want to chicken out of the decision I’d made, I immediately said the words, “I, Imogen Anyon, accept your rejection.”
After saying those words, I expected to feel pain like I had heard most werewolves did after cutting off ties with their true mates, but I didn’t. The only thing I felt was the weird cord I’d noticed when Nate rejected me, breaking.
After that, I felt light. Like some heavy burden had been removed from my shoulders.
This made me realize that holding onto a mate that had rejected me wasn’t just a burden to my mate, but was also a burden to me. And I became sure that I’d made the right choice and that accepting Nate’s rejection was the best choice.
This way, I could learn to like myself. I could learn to be my own emotional pillar and no longer have to rely on sex to escape reality.
It would take some time, but as I’d learned from those books, I was finally ready to invest in myself.
Glancing at Nate’s shocked face, I hesitated for a moment, wondering if he actually wanted to mate with me and I’d cut the chances of getting mated to him by accepting his rejection.
But as I watched him recover from his surprise and then glance at me with unmistakable annoyance and dislike, I was sure that I’d made the right choice again.
Without waiting for his reply, I walked out of the janitor’s closet, ready to go to my second class.
As I walked away, it took a lot of effort to resist the urge to look back to see if there was any regret on his face, or if he was even remotely affected by the rejection.
I also ignored my shaking hands and the big headache I suddenly had, telling myself, over and over, that I’d made the right choice.
* * *
I always felt like it would be better to starve whenever I needed to get food at the pack cafeteria.
And the only reason I disliked the cafeteria was not the cafeteria itself but rather, the building beside it which everyone usually had to walk past to get to the cafeteria. That building was the “young adult recreational building.”
It was built to be the pack’s young adult recreational building, but for a while now, it had become a clique gathering place.
A place where the popular young adults in the pack like Harriet and, of course, Nate, spent their time outside of school hours.
Because of my agreement with Tom, I had to eat lunch. And since I was broke from fixing my car, the only place I could get a free lunch was the pack cafeteria.
With my head lowered, staring at the ground, I tried to walk past the open doors of the building, but stopped abruptly when I saw Tom. I couldn’t mistake that jet black hair for any other and his tall figure was very distinct. I watched as Sophia, Harriet’s friend, kept trying to push herself into his personal space and his seemingly insignificant movements that neatly avoided her every time.
As I was about to walk away, Harriet looked up and saw me.
As soon as she saw me, she started walking towards me faster than a human could walk. I paused for a moment and that was all it took for her to get to me.
Using wolf strength, she gripped my arm and dragged me toward the recreational building’s door.
I became very apprehensive and, after several failed attempts to break free from her grip, I gave up. And I started trying to reach for my nonchalant blank face because I knew Harriet would never have grabbed me for any good reason.
That became clear when she introduced me to Tom, “This is our pack slut. If you need someone to scratch an itch while you’re here, she’s the one.”
Tom was obviously surprised to see me before Harriet introduced me to him in the usual disparaging tone she had always used when introducing me to almost every young adult visitor to the pack.
Then he frowned and grabbed my hands from Harriet’s grip, snapping at her, “Don’t call her that.”
“Why?” Sophia asked.
“Oh my God! Can you be any more of a slut, Ginny? Did you sleep with someone from another pack?!” Harriet’s voice was so loud that everyone in the young adult recreational building and the cafeteria could probably hear her.
Nate stood up from where he was seated on the sofa to stand beside Harriet, staring at me with a hard glint in his eyes.
I looked away from his accusing eyes as he drawled, “Is this why, Ginny?! You’ve found a second option, so you were quick to give up? I knew you were cheap, but I didn’t know you were this cheap of a whore. What did he give you? Money? Offer to be a member of his pack?”
Hot tears sprang to my eyes as I pulled my hands out of Tom’s and walked away as fast as I could, heading to the parking lot where my car was packed. I was no longer hungry, and I just needed to find a place to be alone.