The Other Part of Me

Cassie

When she returned to the compound, ledger in hand, Cassie ran up to her bedroom to find Jason and two other pack members working on the broken window.

"Oh, hey, Cassie. We'll be done in a few minutes," he informed her. "Have you seen Braden? He was looking for you?"

She walked to the bathroom door. "Don't rush on my account, I'll go hang out in Braden's room."

"But Braden's been," Jason began to speak but stopped when he looked in her eyes. "Are you okay? You look like you've been crying."

She quickly averted her face. "Excuse me, I have some reading to do." She rushed into the bathroom and walked on through until she was in Braden's suite. There was a gray, oversized armchair near his window, she went behind it and pushed it towards his walk-in. She turned on the lights and closed the door behind her.

She took a seat on the ample cushion and began looking through the ledger Caspian had given her. The sections were separated by dates. Dates before she was even born.

She read each entry, touching the written words. She wondered if her father had been the one to bring pen-to-paper himself. The whole book consisted of a series of supplies on different days. They ranged from medications, to edible provisions and home comforts. There was a check mark next to each item entered.

This was probably why the rogues thought Thaddeus was a good man. If he had supplied them with things they needed, he wouldn't have been deemed an enemy of the rogues.

The rogues.

In thinking about them, they didn't strike her as agents of chaos - but yet, they were the ones that annihilated the original Bloodstone Pack, were they not? She sighed and rubbed her face with her hands.

She longed for an easier existence when she was nothing more than a wallflower wherever she went. No expectations meant no disappointments.

She flipped to the last page of the ledger that had writing on its surface. There was a list of needed supplies- mostly food, but no checks were marked behind any of the words.

She looked at the date... her mom would have been pregnant with her already. Melancholia filled her heart. Less than three years from that date and she too, would have been gone from this world.

Cassie caressed the date with sadness. She startled when she heard the latch behind her open. Her instincts had her twisting her towards the sound of the opening door.

Braden stood there, holding the door open. "Damn it, Cassie, where the hell have you been? I've been searching for you everywhere."

She turned back to the ledger, holding it against her chest.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked from behind her.

She closed her eyes. "I wanted to be alone but there's nowhere I can accomplish that here." She sighed.

Cassie heard the door close, but she heard him moving closer to her. He walked around the chair and knelt before her. He placed his hand on her lap and looked up into her eyes. They quickly shifted to the book in her arms. "What's that?" He asked.

She hugged the ledger tightly once more before holding it towards him.

He took the book, studying the cover. He stood and sat on one of the armrests. He flipped through the pages. "Shopping list?"

In response, she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them to fill the void the absence of the ledger left behind.

Braden kept flipping through the book. "Love, I'm not sure what you want-" he paused. "I can explain!"

With certainty that he saw the inside cover, Cassie stood and walked behind the opposite armrest he was sitting on. "You lied to me," she accused. "When I told you my father's name, you said you didn't know him."

He stood with his hands defensively in front of him. "No, I didn't. Admittedly, this isn't any better, but I changed the subject so I wouldn't have to lie."

"An omission is a lie!" She pushed the chair towards him, it slid easily against the hardwood floor. He sidestepped the chair and she stormed out of the closet.

She walked into his bedroom, he followed, "I want to be alone, damn you!"

He grabbed her shoulders with one hard shake. "No!" He growled. "I didn't want to fucking lose you, Cassie. I waited too long for you!"

She pushed at his chest, trying to move away from him. "You should have been honest with me. I would have understood." She glared at him.

"No, Cassie. My father's sin against yours was irreparable."

"You don't know that because you didn't know me!" She growled. "Which in a nutshell is everything that is wrong with this damned world. We're expected to accept things just because 'it's the way' but the way isn't always good!" His gaze on her softened. He pulled her closer to him. "You're right," he said softly. "This is much different than the life you lived, and that's not fair to you. I never gave you the option of rejecting me either, which you could have done." He placed his hand against her cheek. "Cassie, I wish I could go back in time to change things but I keep replaying how it would have gone and there's just no viable outcome where I see you coming home with me after I tell you my father killed your father."

Cassie began to sob, hard. Braden wiped the deluge of tears from her eyes with the back of his index finger, but it was not enough. As soon as those tears were wiped away, more took their place.

He brought her into his embrace. "Even if you block me from linking with your mind, I know you realize it's true." He kissed the top of her head. "I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

She wrapped her arms around him. She had to admit he was right. On top of all the craziness involved in this fucking maddening wolf world, him telling her about their fathers on the day they met would have had her running for the hills without looking back.

She sniffled and pulled away from him. "I need to wipe my nose." She turned to grab a tissue from the nightstand on his side of the bed. She pulled a tissue, and then another. By the time she reached for the third tissue, she noticed a familiar box next to the tissue. She picked it up, and looked inside, although she already knew what was inside. "What are these doing here?"

He turned to look at her. His eyes went from her, to the box in her hands and back to her eyes.

"Bridgette told you?” She asked, but before he could answer, she put the box back where she found it. "You know what - I don't have it in me to talk about that right now."

She sensed his disappointment, but he simply nodded.

"Where's the ledger?" She asked. He frowned. "The book I handed you?"

He pointed to the closet.

She walked in and found it laying on the armchair. She picked it up, shuffling to the last page. She felt Braden's eyes on her.

"Where did you get that book? I thought all those were destroyed." He asked from where he stood.

Cassie looked up at him briefly. "Caspian Maximus gave it to me."

Braden growled menacingly. "You've been back to see that filthy rogue?"

She didn't have the desire to keep arguing today. "If you want to have a civil conversation about this with me, by all means, I'm willing, but Braden, you'll need to calm the fuck down." She said calmly before she went to sit on the bed. She saw him rub a hand down his face. He stared at her for a moment before finally speaking. "How did you find the rogues?"

"By chance," she replied. "When Elsbeth needed the lake sediment, she told me how to find the lake and they were there."

Braden growled again. Cassie was about to protest but before she was able to say anything, he had already stormed out the door.