Chapter 10
The knock at the door was loud and slow, and Frank was almost hesitant to answer. He could not think of anything but how much Austin was hurting from the news of Mrs. Davis’ death. He opened the door slowly and was not surprised to see Dr. Farmer, Debra, and Alexandre standing on the other side of it. Dr. Farmer and Debra greeted Frank as he ushered them inside of the house, but Alex was not as formal during the situation.
“Where is he? How is he doing?” She blurted out as she rushed into the house.
“He is in his room sleeping. I am sorry, but I don’t think he wants to see anyone.” Frank said cautiously.
She completely disregarded the warning and rushed upstairs and opened the door. Austin was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, and trying his best not to think about anything at all.
“Hey. How are you doing?” Alex asked slowly as she stared at him.
Austin just looked at her and quickly returned his gaze to the ceiling without saying a word.
“I can listen if you want to talk, or I could not say anything and stay here for a while.” She said trying to figure out how to comfort him. “Do you want something to eat or drink? I can run downstairs and get you something.” She said after a moment of silence.
“I’m fine. I just want to be alone right now.” He forced the words out expressing how much he did not want to talk.
“Austin, I know you are hurting, but please just talk to me. You have to talk to someone about how you feel.” She replied desperately.
Austin did not say a word as she pleaded for him to open up to her, and she waited a moment for him to change his mind.
“You know, my parents got divorced after my dad’s best friend was killed. He did not speak to me or my mother, and now all he does is drink and party. He stopped caring about anyone and everyone who cared for him. He blamed the world because life is unfair sometimes, but that is no excuse for shutting out the people who care. I am not going to let you do the same thing and throw away all of your emotions just because you are hurting. I love you too much to do that, okay? So please just say something to me.” She pleaded trying to show him how much she cared about him.
“Fine! You want me to talk, I will. I do not care about the trivial experiences you have had with your father. I could not care less about him or what he put you and your mom through when he left. Maybe he was smarter than all of us and understood how emotions are nothing but trouble and pain! You and your mother are fine, you did not lose someone forever! Your dad is still breathing, no matter how much he is not around, so do not use your poor sob story as a way to relate to what he felt or what I feel. At least you still have your mom, and so what if your dad is not around anymore? At least you had a father; at least you have a mother who loves you. I am an orphan, Alex! There is no way you can relate to what I am dealing with right now. So, if you want to help me, then go cry about your daddy issues in another room and leave me alone!” Austin yelled with an eruption of rage and anger.
Alex stared at him as if she did not know who he was anymore, and she could not respond to his harsh words. She wanted to cry, but she was not going to give him the satisfaction of hurting her. She turned her back to him and spoke.
“Fine. I will leave you alone for good. Goodbye, Austin.” She said as she walked out of the room and closed the door behind her.
She was in tears as she quickly walked through the living room and out of the door to the car.
“Maybe we should come back another day.” Debra said as she watched her daughter walk out of the house crying.
Frank and Susan nodded their agreement and said goodbye to them. They both sat down on the couch and accepted the harsh reality that neither of them knew how to deal with Austin while he was immensely upset.
The following weeks of isolation proved to be the cure to Austin’s bereavement. He barely ate anything, and he did not say anything other than quick short answers to typical questions. The Andersons had learned from Dr. Wilson that death of a loved one was dealt with in various ways, and Austin’s unique mind would vary from the normal grieving process. Frank had heard him crying one night while talking to himself, but he did not disturb the boy’s process. Susan noticed that he had started to only eat breakfast foods, and he would only drink orange juice. She did not question him about it and would bring up meals to his room without saying a word to him. Chris helped out by bringing him books to read because Austin did not watch television at all anymore, and he hardly listened to music. Everyone was giving him as much space as they felt he needed, and nobody questioned him when he would sit alone in the yard writing in one of his notebooks. They all assumed he would feel better after a few days, but Mrs. Davis’ funeral prolonged the boy’s depression. He did not even attend the respective farewell ceremony, and nobody had the nerve to ask him why.
After another couple of weeks, Austin was slowly falling back into his normal routine. He would come down from his room and eat with the rest of the family. He started eating whatever was prepared, and he would laugh at jokes and other things he found humorous. Eventually, he started to watch television again, and he soon continued his sessions with Dr. Wilson. Everyone agreed that it was best if they did not mention anything about the past few weeks to him. The boy seemed to be returning to how he was before the tragic loss, and his loved ones knew how hard it must be for him. Soon he was almost exactly as he was before the death, but there was something different about him. He seemed to be over the loss after a while, but there was still this overwhelming sadness that seemed to hover over him.
One afternoon, Susan was sitting in the kitchen preparing dinner, and Austin came downstairs and got a soda from the refrigerator.
“How about a small snack, Austin? Dinner will not be ready for a while.” She said as he was about to return to his room.
Austin stopped, turned around, and sat down at the dining table to show he would enjoy something to eat. She made him a sandwich and gave him a small bag of Doritos from the cabinet. Austin took a bite from the sandwich and opened the chips, but he did not seem to be as hungry as he had led her to believe. Susan wanted to tell him that he did not have to pretend to be hungry for her benefit, but she enjoyed being around him after being denied it the past few weeks. He ate one of the chips and took a drink from his soda can. She sat down beside him and started to help him eat the chips after grabbing her bottle of water from the refrigerator. She had more to do before the food would be ready to cook, but she had the strongest instinct that she should be around him. There was a long silence between them, and Susan had no idea why she felt he needed her. She was about to get up from her chair when he spoke.
“She’s not coming back is she?” He asked in the smallest tone of voice she had ever heard from him.
Susan panicked, but she knew if he wanted to talk about it then she should talk.
“Sweetie, I know you miss her, but you know that death is forever. I know how you feel about religion, but I choose to believe that she is in a better place right now. I also choose to believe that she wants you to stop hurting because she loved you, and she knew how much you loved her.” Susan replied in the most sincere motherly voice she owned.
Austin hung his head for a moment before replying.
“No, I am not talking about Mrs. Davis. I understand that she is gone for good, and it was hard to accept. I know I put you guys through more than enough with my recent behavior, but I have come to terms with her being gone. I know how much that woman cared for me, and I will never forget her.” Austin replied slowly to show Susan he believed what he was saying.
“Oh, well we understand you were upset, and we still love you. We are just happy to see you feeling better.” Susan said with great relief as she did not have to talk to him much about someone she did not know well.
Her relief immediately turned to understanding as she realized who Austin was referring to when he said “She’s not coming back.” Susan looked at him feeling bad about Alex not being around.
“She asked about you a few days ago, and I am sure she misses you as much as you miss her.” Susan said trying to comfort his broken heart.
“I am not so certain of that anymore, Susan. I replay the night she came to visit inside of my mind, and I realize the horrible and unforgivable words I said to her. I know they hurt her, and I know she has every right not to care for me anymore. I just wish I would have listened to her and not pushed her away when she tried her best to comfort me.” Austin said shamefully.
“Maybe you should call her.” Susan suggested. Austin slowly turned his head towards her and looked at her with the saddest eyes in the world.
“I called her three times yesterday, and she will not speak to me. She does not care about me anymore, and I do not think I blame her for feeling that way.” Austin said as his guilt started to show itself through his words and tone.
Susan had no idea what to tell him about how to deal with feeling as if he pushed Alex away for good.
“Come on.” She said grabbing her purse off of the kitchen counter.
“What? Susan she will not answer my phone calls. So I am certain she would not like to see me.” Austin said showing his shock as his voice raised higher than normal.
“Austin, you may be a genius, but you do not know everything. I see how you two look at each other, and I am not going to allow you give up on her without talking to her first. Now fix your hair and meet me in the car.” Susan said leaving the kitchen without giving him time to decline.
The drive to Dr. Farmer’s home was ten minutes away from the Anderson’s home, but it felt like a two minute drive. Austin had never been to Dr. Farmer’s house, but it looked nice from the outside. The house was smaller than the Anderson’s and the Wilson’s homes, but it looked more distinguished in an elegant way. Austin was not surprised as he did not imagine Dr. Farmer living in a typical home. He was a brilliant and funny man, but everyone knew he was a fan of money and was not afraid to show how much he valued it. Susan knocked on the door, and Debra answered and was surprised to see them both.
“Hello, please come on in.” She said in her typical cheerful and polite voice.
Austin felt like he was walking into a museum as he entered the house. The home was decorated like a millionaire’s home, and it made Austin think of it as a miniature mansion. Susan could not hide her fascination as she entered the home as well, but she quickly remembered the reason they were there.
“How can I help you two this evening?” Debra asked politely.
“Oh, I just wanted to stop by and see the place for the first time, and I was hoping you could help me out with what we talked about earlier.” Susan said motioning to Austin behind his back.
Alexandre entered the room and saw Austin standing there. She froze and tried to turn her face away from him before he could see that she had still been crying.
“Oh, yes. I think it is upstairs in the spare bedroom.” Debra said as she understood the plan to get the two kids alone to let them talk.
The two well-intentioned women walked up the stairs and Austin finally had his chance to talk to Alex.
“Hello.” He said trying to get her to turn around.
“Hello? Is that all you have to say to me?” She replied trying not to cry.
“Alex, I am so sorry for what I said to you that day. I was not myself, and I know that is no excuse for how I talked to you or at you. You were only trying to help me, but I was in such a low place that I did not want you or anyone else around me.” Austin said trying to explain his behavior.
“You made it very clear that you didn’t want me around.” She said looking at him quickly. “Do you know what it felt like to hear you say those things to me? I mean, the way you spoke to me that day, did you even miss me?” She said turning away from him again as she finished her question.
“You know I did, but I knew you were hurt and gave you space.” He said softly.
“Because of what you said to me, yes I was hurt. I still called you every single day for two weeks, and you could not even pick of the phone to talk to me.” She said on the verge of tears.
“Alex, I know that was not the right thing to do, but there was no way you could help me no matter how bad you wanted to help. Talking to you would have probably just made everything worse than it already was because I was taking my anger out on everyone who tried to stay close to me. Alexandre, I am sorry if I hurt you, but I was just... I’m sorry.” He said walking towards her and grabbing her hand softly.
“Don’t touch me, Austin. You went too far with what you said. So, just leave. I am not going to forgive what you said to me.” She said coldly.
“Well, I’m not leaving until I hear you say you forgive me because I know you still care and so do I.” Austin said firmly.
“Yes you are! Susan will have to go home sometime, and she will not leave you here.” Alex said becoming angry all over again.
“She will not have a choice but to leave me here because I am not leaving until you say you forgive me.” Austin said again with more meaning than the previous time.
“I am not saying that. So, unless you know some genius way to make me say things I don’t mean, it looks like you will be here awhile.” Alex said sticking by her statement.
Austin went to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of mustard.
“You see this? I am allergic to three of the ingredients used to make mustard. I am going to eat some every time you say you will not say you forgive me. You can call Susan or your mom, but I will just run away with it and eat the whole bottle with no time for anyone to help the paramedics find me.” Austin said looking nervous as he spoke.
“You would not do that.” Alex said knowing that he was bluffing.
“Yes, I would because I do not want you angry at me anymore.” Austin said opening the lid on the bottle. “You have already said you would not say it once.” Austin added as he squeezed the mustard into his mouth and swallowed.
“Why are you doing this? Are you crazy?” She said in a panicked voice.
“Yes, I am when it comes to you. I will do anything to have you forgive me because you mean more to me than you will ever know. I have about forty minutes to get to hospital now, so do you forgive me?” Austin said looking sick.
“Austin, this is crazy. Stop!” She said getting scared.
Austin took another gulp of mustard into his mouth and started to cough. He grabbed his stomach and started to groan, but he grabbed the bottle and swallowed some more mustard.
“Okay! Okay, I forgive you. Now what do I have to do?” She asked as her hands started to tremble.
Austin whispered to her but she could not understand him because his voice was so fragile.
“What? Do I need to call the ambulance now?” She asked quickly.
Austin shook his head and continued to cough. He motioned for her to come closer, and she did and put her ear to his mouth. He turned her head towards him and kissed her on the lips quickly.
“I knew you wouldn’t let me die just to prove a point.” He said as he fell to the ground laughing.
“Oh, I hate you Austin!” She said realizing he was bluffing the entire time. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again! That was not funny at all.” She screamed as she punched him in the shoulder as hard as she could.
“You do not hate me, Alex. You love me too much to hate me so soon, no matter how mad you were.” He said pulling her on the floor with him.
“I cannot believe I fell for that. I should have known better, but you looked like you were about to vomit.” She said still trying to calm herself down.
“Well, I really do hate mustard! I would have vomited if I had to swallow more, it’ is the nastiest flavor in the world.” He said still laughing at how quickly she fell for his trick.
“I take it back, I am never going to forgive you! How could you joke at a time like this when I was so angry at you?” She said trying to get up off the floor.
“Because you needed a scare to help you forget the anger. It was your idea for me to use my brain to get you to forgive me.” He said with a clever look on his face. “Now, we really do have problem.” He added seriously.
“What would that be?” She asked realizing she was not angry anymore.
“I fell on the mustard and I am sure it is all over my pants.” He said showing her the enormous yellow stain on his jeans.
“Well, good. You deserve it.” She said trying to pretend she was still upset with him. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her.
“I really am sorry about how I treated you Alex. I will never hurt you like that again, I promise. I love you too much to have you give up on me.” He said looking at her like he always did.
“Aww, there’s that look again.” She said as she kissed him back. They rolled on the floor in all of the mustard that was covering it, and they laughed harder than either of them had laughed in a long time.
Once they had returned home, Austin had no choice but to take a shower to remove the mustard from his body, and Susan wanted to put his clothes in the washer immediately. She and Debra had been filled in on the “mustard incident”, and both of them found it clever and adorable. They would have been fairly upset about the children making such a mess, but the women just wanted to see the kids happy again. Susan imagined that Debra had been going through a similarly tough time with Alex, and she could see the relief in her eyes as they were leaving the house. Susan noticed how much Austin smiled the entire ride home, and she felt like she had finally done something worthy of being his mother. She and the rest of the family were extremely worried about Austin, but there worries can now be put to rest for a while. She was happy that he was happy, and she hoped more than anything that he would remain that way for a long time.
Austin enjoyed washing all of the filth off of his body, and he lingered in the happiness of the moment. He did not know how he would ever feel the same without Alex caring about him. She was without a doubt one of the most important people in his life, and the way he felt when she was not talking to him was nearly unbearable. He made a declaration to never hurt her in such a way for as long as he breathed. He would just have to learn to control his emotions better; the risk of losing her over something that could be avoided was far too great for him to take a second time. He smiled as he thought of her again and how beautiful she looked even while covered in a condiment. The boy knew the depths of his affection for her, but this new experience confirmed what he had up until that moment only thought was true. He loved her. He was a ten or eleven year old boy, but he was irrevocably and unconditionally in love with a girl, the perfect girl, Alexandre Kay Franklin.
Austin stepped out of the shower after he was clean, and he started drying himself off. He turned sideways and continued to dry the rest of his body, and he noticed the scar on his shoulder. He had been so overtaken by the recent events that the scar had not been on his mind at all. He recalled the most previous experiences the scar had given him, but he did not want to question anything about it. The scar had led him to his new family which led him to Alex, and he did not need to know anything else about the mysterious mark for a while. He wanted to read his books, watch television, listen to music, and enjoy the summer with his girlfriend like a normal boy would want to do. He was growing very close to being completely happy again, and he knew focusing on the scar would take away from everything else. He had plenty of time to worry about the scar and all of its mystery, but he only had one chance to be a carefree kid and was determined to enjoy it to the last second.
He finished drying himself off and just stared at his reflection in the mirror.
“How did that person staring back at him get so lucky?” he thought to himself. ”So what if I do not know my real parents, I have been given a great life.” He continued to think to himself.
“It’s time to let yourself be as happy as you can possibly be, Austin. He said to himself aloud while staring in the mirror.
He smiled at his own reflection, and then his heart started to beat faster as he saw the impossible. His own reflection winked at him without him doing the winking. The boy rubbed his eyes and looked again. The reflection seemed to be doing everything he was doing as it should, but he could swear he saw it wink at him. He stared at himself a few more moments while making weird faces to see if anything happened. Soon he decided it was just his imagination. His stomach started to growl as he realized how hungry he had become. He had not even finished the sandwich Susan made for him, and she ate most of the chips.
“That must be why my mind is playing tricks on me, I am starving.” He said to himself aloud and laughed at himself for believing his reflection had moved on its own.
He turned away from the mirror, but he did not notice that his reflection did not move at all for a while. He walked out of the bathroom, and the reflection slowly faded away until the mirror looked completely normal.