The Million Dollar Man

He released my arms, lightly pushing me back a few steps. Though my expression remained emotionless, I was struggling to remain calm and cold. My mask was slipping and I felt a heart-wrenching amount of guilt pool in my stomach, Guilt is consuming and the most destructive emotion that a person can feel.

I knew I was going to have to say something, before the guilt built up and crushed me. My eyes trailed over Sebastian, taking in his exhausted form that practically oozed the anxiety and stress that he was drowning in.

I parted my lips, nervously licking them over quickly before I spoke. << I know, >> I said softly, << I know you've been trying and I know I'm being difficult, but-<<

Much to my embarrassment, my voice cracked under the amount of distraught that was overwhelming me. My cheeks instantly heated and I felt tears prick painfully at the corners of my eyes.

I tried to take calming breath, but found myself pressing my trembling lips together and praying that my chin would stop quivering. As if my humiliation wasn't enough, whimpers began to break free, and I felt myself slowly losing all self- control.

<< Evie ? » I could hear him approach me, getting closer and closer until I could practically feel him. My entire body shook and my vision had blurred completely as the tears had filled my eyes to the brim. One sudden movement, even the flicker of an eyelid, would start the flood that I was sure would take hours to end.

I could hear him start to whisper comforting words, but as I began to lose control over myself, it seemed as though my senses began to shut off one by one.

The second I felt his hands touch arms, a cry ripped through me, collapsing forwards onto him. His arms immediately encircled around my waist, bringing my body flush against his. With all my strength, I fought to regain some sense of control. I ached to let my cries ring out, to let all the pent up agony flow from me in the only way possible.

<< Why can't you just be happy? >> Sebastian asked quietly, his lips pressed to the top of my head. His warmth engulfed me, causing me to press my body into his as much as I could.

With my final string of strength, I managed to pull out a weak smile, one in which the corners of my mouth dipped down in sorrow and my brows furrowed together in pain.

<< There's not a lot to be happy about. >>

And with that, I allowed myself to break, because in reality I don't think I would have been able to hold it together anymore even if I tried.

My body racked with sobs as he lifted me up bridal style, carrying me into his own room and underneath the covers to his bed. My hands tangled into his shirt and I held on with a tenacious grip until he had no other choice but to join me on his bed.

My face was tucked into his neck and his large body was tangled his mine as he rubbed comforting circles into my back and whispered sweet nothings into my ear.

I forgot who I was at that moment.

I forgot all about the heartless girl who the world had come to know as Evelyn Claire Summers.

I forgot about why I maintained my reputation even when I wanted nothing more than to lose it.

But it occurred to me why I wasn't bothering to keep my act up around Sebastian King.

I had thought it would feel good to have a breakdown, to let out all my pain and then start anew afterwards. I thought I wanted to cry without restraint, to let myself go and then it would all be okay in the end. Isn't that how it normally goes ? It should have felt nice to finally let go, at least that's what I had thought.

But I had been wrong, so very wrong.

+++++

I woke with a start, groaning as the headache crashed into me instantaneously. The clock on the table read half past three, yet it felt as though it was the middle of the night. The bright light shining through the windows told me otherwise, and as my eyes began to adjust, I was able to fully take in my surroundings.

I was trapped underneath layers of sheets and blankets, surrounded by warmth, but I did not recognize the room.

You know how sometimes you just forget about something? That state of confusion and forgetfulness typically comes in between the time your eyes open in the morning, to when you finally are fully awake and aware of everything that is happening.

And then just like that, I was awake.

My eyes grew wide as I stared down at the bed, which was empty except for me. I tried to ignore the sharp hurt that penetrated me when I realized that Sebastian wasn't there, but it seemed utterly hopeless.

My hands delicately cupped my face, which was slightly swollen from all the crying that had previously taken place. It had gotten so bad, that at one point Sebastian had to lift me out of the bed and take me into the bathroom and dab my heated face with a cool cloth.

Though the entire incident was painful and in fact quite humiliating, I actually felt much better. Despite the pounding ache within my head, and my swollen face and eyes, I felt as though I could breathe normally and just relax. It may sound ridiculous and completely stupid, but at this moment I felt as though I couldn't cry anymore even if I tried.

And believe me, I was getting really fed up with crying.

<< Well look who's awake. >>

His voice carried through the room like a melody, while my eyes jerked up to the open doorway where he now stood. I locked eyes with him promptly, and felt warmth spread throughout my stomach. I felt different.

<< Hi, >> was all I could manage, though it came out as a small croak much to my embarrassment.

He grinned at me for a moment before walking fully into the room. << Sorry about leaving you for a bit, I had an important phone call to make. >>

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I watched him carefully as he spoke, my eyes drawn to his lips and their perfect movements. Now that I think about it, everything Sebastian did was perfection. He was just perfect.

<< Are you okay? » He asked, breaking me away from my overly unusual thoughts. I blushed awkwardly before nodding my head, only then catching on to the second meaning behind his question.

<< Oh that, >> I said softly, << I'm sorry about crying like that. I, uh, I didn't mean to-<< I trailed off, staring at my hands in a conflicted manner.

There was one thing going through my mind right now, and it was humiliation.

Had I actually cried like a baby in front of Sebastian, the ruthless gang leader who would probably use this to blackmail me until the day I died? Did I really let my mask fall and unveil myself as the weak six-year-old girl who had been trapped for much too long?

My eyes widened in realization; I had. I had shown Sebastian my most vulnerable side, and on top of that, I practically foisted it upon him.

What the hell is wrong with you, I inwardly scolded myself.

Suddenly the small smile that graced my lips was wiped away, and I no longer found myself gazing up at him, or looking anywhere near him for that matter.

I felt the nerves spark to life in the pit of my stomach, causing my palms to grow clammy and my cheeks to become uncomfortably heated.

<< I'm so sorry ! » I blurted out, my eyes wide and animalistic. I began thrashing about in the bed, hoping to pull the covers off and quickly exit the room. Unfortunately for me, my motor skills were not exactly at an all time high, and I found myself struggling pitifully in a fight against the sheets and blankets that covered me.

Pathetic.

<< I hadn't meant to cry like that, »> I rushed out as I pulled and tugged at the surrounding sheets. << I know what you must think of me now and-<<

My miniature rant was cut off as two large hands lifted me from the bed, placing my small feet onto the wooden ground. His hand slid down until then were firmly holding my by my waist, and I felt myself grow more awkward and sheepish as he stared down at me.

<< And what do I think of you? » He asked quietly, one of his large hands rising to my face to lift my chin upwards so that my eyes would meet his.