The Kingdom of Secrets and Ruin

Dalliah

I didn’t sleep last night, couldn’t sleep, as my mind was wide awake. Marjorie has come and gone already, getting in barely a couple of hours rest and I wonder if she is avoiding me. Neither of us spoke a word when she came in and it saddens me to think our relationship has come to this. But what can I do?

She’s frustrated that I’ve managed to rise through the ranks faster than she has, something I’d never have been able to do without her saving my life and something I’d gladly pass along to her, but I can’t. She knows this and I know this, but it doesn’t take away from the hurt she’ll be feeling.

This is her life.

Unlike me she probably has plans to stay here forever which makes being the King’s Maid all the more lucrative.

Maybe when I’m gone, that is if I ever get away, they’ll see the value in her and replace me, she deserves nothing less and I won’t offend her by worrying if she’ll stay loyal to her blood oath. Besides, keeping our deceit is in her best interest as much as it is mine, another reason for me to feel guilty.

My stomach started growling ages ago, seeing as I refused to leave my room in favour of the dining hall last night. But rather than brave breakfast now that I’ve had time to recover from my humiliation, I’ve found myself staring at that damn mirror.

There’s no more paint to hide behind now, a fact the whole castle is well aware of by this point and I try not to think about Ingaret’s words, but it’s no use.

Did she mean it? Or was it out of pity that she complimented me? I mean, even my mother never complimented me like that, where she’d dismiss my fathers opinions in favour of her own because it wasn’t worth the risk. I mean, if he’d lock away his own daughter, how could anyone be truly safe?

And every time I feel like I can put the questions behind me, my mind only moves on from that to-

“We’re never going to make it in time Jim.” A voice comes through the opening of my window, a name I vaguely regonise as one of the farmers that visits one or twice a week from deeper in the country.

They bring the rarer vegetables that Julius doesn’t have the space to grow in the gardens and the meat that can’t be hunted locally.

“Of course we won’t if Derek insists on flirting with that woman the whole time.” A gruff voice responds and I don’t know why I care so much, their business is nothing of mine.

“Well I say we leave without him, the coast’s a day away and my wife will have my neck if I’m not back soon… Our lads playing up again.” The first farmer grumbles to his friend Jim and my heart skips a beat at his words.

They’re going to the coast? They must be if he’s said as much and from the creaking and banging that’s been plaguing my ears all morning, I assume they have a group of wagons ready to take their things.

Why? Or more importantly, how hard would it be for me to sneak aboard one with Nameless?

No, I couldn’t do that, could I?

I have only a few coins to my name, no references and no plan beyond reaching the water. It makes more sense for me to toughen it out here, build my supplies and leave properly with a new reputation. But this is the first time I’ve heard of anyone heading off in that direction and when will my next chance come?

The timing can’t be coincidence, can it?

I bite my lip with indecision, trying not to wake the sleeping cat beside me. Usually he’s long gone by now, but instead he remains curled up on my pillow, another sign that this morning isn’t like any other.

Telling myself that it can’t hurt to at least have a look at the wagons that I’m transfixing on, I lift Nameless into my front pocket with the intention of getting some fresh air. I’m so stressed nobody would question my fake illness, and I just hope my little friend will stay put long enough for me to decide.

The feel of the sun against my skin soothes me as I make it out into the open. In the distance dogs are barking, pots are clattering, but there’s no mistaking the sound of supplies being slammed down onto a wooden surface.

Tiptoeing around the corner of the wall, I try not to let my eyes light up too brightly as I realise how close they are to leaving. Horses are being fastened to the wood at the front and cups of coffee are being returned to one of the kitchen maids waiting next to them.

This is it, it’s now or never.

Can I risk it? Or should I be more specific, can I risk staying here with no promise of another chance like this one. I mean, it’s like this was set up just for me.

They’re all filled, that much is obvious as I get near to their group but I’m not very tall and shouldn’t take up too much room. My pulse quickens the closer I get, knowing that time is running out and if I’d waited any longer back in my room I’d have missed this opportunity by now.

The farmer heading the wagon closest to me is distracted, he clearly finds Daisy, the kitchen maid worth an extra second of his time, and I’m more than happy to take advantage. This must be Derek.

My hands grip around the soft wooden hoop that stretches the tarp over the top, it wobbles slightly which causes sweat to build on the small of my back, but I’m up and on in a matter of seconds.

It’s a tight squeeze but I make it through the tarp with Nameless tucked in close to my chest, he’s remained surprisingly quiet throughout this process and I wonder if he knows the stakes at play here.

I have to balance over boxes, skip over bags of fruit and slide down right at the back where I can remain hidden should we stop for whatever reason. But despite the lack of space and the threat looming over me, there’s a smile on my face wider than I thought possible.

I’ve done it.

The first step to my freedom was a success and if the movement of the wheels underneath me are anything to go off, I’m now on my way out of here.