novelxo The Front Runner: Chapter 32
Nothing makes sense.
A steady beeping sound filters through my consciousness. My eyelids are heavy like lead and my body aches. I roll my tongue through my mouth, chasing away the dryness as best I can, but my throat feels like sandpaper, raspy and sore enough to make me whimper.
I feel a squeeze on my forearm and a firm hold on the opposite hand.
My eyelids flinch as I force them open. It feels like there’s dirt inside them. I’m in a mostly dark room. Dim lights give it a sort of warm yellow glow. It strikes me that it’s probably nighttime.
“Hey.” I glance over at my best friend, into eyes lined with anxiety.
“Hi. God.” Her voice quavers. “It’s really fucking good to see you.”
I try to smile, finding comfort in the crass way Billie talks. It feels so normal. “Am I…” Jesus, my throat feels terrible.
“You’re in the hospital.” Her hands stroke my forearm, and she nods to my opposite side. I slowly turn my head, realizing I can feel someone holding my hand, but it’s not my friend. When I look down and to my left, I’m met with a slumped figure in a chair pulled close, a mop of beautiful dark gold hair resting on the bed beside me.
He’s here.
I sigh, my lungs burning and chest aching.
He’s clutching my hand like I’m his lifeline while he sits in an uncomfortable hospital chair, face resting on the bed by my thigh. He looks exhausted, but I soak in his face like I haven’t seen the sun in years. His sharp cheekbones, covered in more stubble than I’m used to seeing. His full lips slightly parted. The dark smudges beneath his eyes.
I feel confused about everything that is going on around me.
Except him.
I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.
“He hasn’t left your side,” Billie whispers. “Nadia had to bring him fresh clothes because he reeked of smoke but refused to leave you.”
Tears spring up in my eyes as I watch the beautiful man sleeping beside me. All I want is for him to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.
“He went into the burning barn—when everyone told him not to—and carried you out. If it wasn’t for him, I’m not sure we’d be sitting here today. I mean, he literally walked through fire for you.”
Tears roll down my cheeks.
Billie reaches up to wipe them away, drawing my attention away from Stefan. “The guy is a total nightmare.” Her voice cracks, but she blinks quickly and forges ahead, “But not in the way I thought. Never mind his barn, I think he’s been ready to burn this whole fucking hospital down to get you the best care available and what I’m pretty sure is like a twentieth opinion.” Her laugh is tearful, and I smile back at her.
“Listen, Mimi.” I groan and shake my head. Billie is insane in the best possible way. “I was wrong. And I’m sorry. Any man who loves you as much as he does is a winner in my book.”
“Thank you,” I rasp. I know I don’t need my friend’s permission, but knowing she accepts him—accepts us—well, that makes my heart happy. “Did he tell you much?”
She snorts and rolls her eyes. “That Hank is his daddy? Or that he named my horse?”
I scrunch my face up and nod, whispering, “Yeah. Kinda big news. I know Hank is like a dad to you and has been for a long time.” Then I point at her. “And you know that name is a good one.”
“Yeah. I have to confess, it is.” She chuckles tearfully. “And man, Hank is so happy. It’s downright infectious. I can’t not be happy for them. The world works in mysterious ways, Mimi.” She winks saucily, clearly getting hold of her emotions. “I mean, I need another dumb brother like I need a fucking hole in the head. But here I am with one anyway.” She gestures across at Stefan’s sleeping form.
He stirs, like his ears are burning. I give his hand a quick squeeze and his head snaps up. Dopey eyes latch onto mine instantly.
“I’m gonna go,” Billie says with a gentle squeeze of my arm and a kiss to my hair.
I don’t even look at her. “Okay, bye.” I can’t tear my gaze away from Stefan, his entrancing green eyes, his slightly crooked nose. I drink him in, trying not to think about how I almost let him get away.
“Hi.” I smile, unable to discern the expression on his face as the door clicks shut. Like he’s almost angry.
“How do you feel?” His fingers push between mine.
“Sore.” Why lie? Every part of me feels sore.
“You suffered smoke inhalation and a concussion from when you passed out. You’ve been out for about a day.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He’s all business right now. “The doctor said your trachea and lungs should heal completely. But I’ve got a second and third opinion on the way.” Rigid tension lines his body as his eyes rake over mine. “I’m not taking any chances they missed something.”
“Okay.” I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’m capable of understanding any diagnosis I might have, but if micromanaging this makes him feel better, I won’t interfere. “How are you?”
I brush my thumb across the underside of his hand, reveling in the feel of his skin on mine. In the way energy crackles up my arm with the simplest touch. This man sets me on fire. Maybe that’s why I ran in there with no regard for my safety. I’d already endured the most intense heat I could imagine. That barn was no comparison for our chemistry.
“Mira, you shouldn’t have gone into that barn.” His jaw ticks with annoyance.
“Neither should you,” I scold him right back.
“I couldn’t leave you in there.” His voice breaks as his eyes land where our hands are joined.
I reach up and run my hand through his hair, savoring the feel of the strands running between my fingers. Something I never thought I’d feel again. “You love so fiercely. Just like I told you. Just like me. I didn’t think twice about walking into that barn.”
His sad eyes meet mine. They more than meet. His gaze plunges into mine. The way he looks at me is borderline invasive, like he’s staring straight into my soul. “Love?”
My hand slides down his cheek, the feel of his stubble against my palm sending goosebumps up my arm. “Yeah. You love me.”
He looks so intense, which emboldens me. A man who was done with me wouldn’t be regarding me like this.
“Who told you that?” His eyes dart to the opposite side of the bed where Billie sat earlier, but I tip his chin back down toward me.
“You did.”
“Did you hear me in the barn?” His voice is raspy, his accent shining through a little more than usual as his free hand lands on my knee and strokes me there.
I quirk my head, knowing I’ve struck a chord. “No… but have you walked through fire for any other girls lately, Stefan?”
I smile, but his facade cracks right before my eyes. His face falls and a sob wracks his body as he gives up all pretenses of control and crawls onto the small hospital bed beside me, turning my body in toward him with the utmost care. With heartbreaking gentleness. The light scent of his cologne wraps around me as I bury my face in his chest. Rejoicing in the feel of his hard arms around me and his warm skin against mine.
His breath shudders, and his hand shoots into my hair, lovingly cupping my head. “I can’t ever lose you. I’m so sorry I walked away.” His words rumble across my scalp as he burrows into me. “I love you too fucking much.”
“I know,” I reply, stroking his hair. “I love you too, Stefan.”
“Nothing else mattered when I thought you might die. Nothing. There is nothing you could do to make me leave you behind. And I’ll never forgive myself for doing it once.”
I nod into the warmth of his chest, feeling my eyes leak again.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep you safe. But I want to spend forever trying if you’ll let me.”
“Oh, Stefan. You already do.” My voice is thick as I stroke my hand over the length of his broad back. “You saved me last night. You believe me. You listen to me. You protect me. You stood up to my family for me, Stefan. And Patrick? You took him out for me.” I laugh through the tears. “I mean, shit. You lied to the cops for me when I egged the principal’s car with Nadia.”
“That guy fucking deserved it.”
I laugh again, but it’s cut short when he pulls away and tips my chin up. “I love you, Mira.” His confession is quiet and deep. Private and just for us. Even though he’s already said it, this time it really sinks in. “You make me a better man. A happier man. I said it once before, and I meant it: you are mine and I am yours. I will drink whatever ungodly coffee concoctions you bring me. I will worship your body.” His eyes drop to my lips, and even in a hospital bed feeling more roughed up than I ever have, when he looks at me like that, I feel more beautiful than I ever have. “I would walk through fire for you any day. Over and over again.”
And then his lips descend on mine. Soft and searching. Perfect and panty melting. His hands cup me like I’m the most precious thing he’s ever held in his hands.
And I melt. I melt into him. Into us.
I whimper, overcome with emotion. Soaking in the feel of him and how he surrounds me, feeling infinitely safe in his arms.
“Does it hurt?” He draws back, concern etching his handsome face.
I fist the neckline of his T-shirt, gathering it between my fingers as our legs tangle together on the small hospital bed.
“No,” I murmur. “Please.” I sigh. “Don’t ever stop,” I implore.
He drops his forehead to mine. “I love it when you beg, Dr. Thorne.”
His lips press against one cheek, in the sweetest kiss. “I love you.” Before moving over to the other, butterflies erupt in my stomach. “I love you.” Our lips meet in a soul-searing kiss, the perfect fit, and he says it a third time. “I love you.”
And nothing in my life has ever felt more real.
I love him. I love him. I love him.