The Death of 1977 (Book 3)

(This story is by no means an indictment against the country of Jamaica and its beautiful people.)
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The Ashlandview Psychiatric Center
December 1976
"Isaac, do you plan on standing at that window all day long, or would you rather have a seat and have a civilized discussion?"
Doctor Sanyupta, who was dressed perfectly in a brown suit, patiently implored seated behind his desk inside his warm and cozy
office.
With his arms folded in an irate manner inside his brown Izod sweater, Isaac remained obstinately at the window that overlooked
a cold, frosty and cloudy morning.
He pulled at the crotch of his faded blue jeans that managed to itch with every restless move that he made.
"Man, I ain't sayin' anything until I see a lawyer or somebody." The young, bitter man mumbled against the sore jaw that he was
nursing while leaning against the frigid window.
"My friend, this is not prison. We are here to help you."
Yanking himself away from the window, Isaac turned to Sanyupta and pointed, "Man, you ain't my friend! And the only help I
need can't be found here!"
"I take it you are referring to your so called disease?"
"Hell yes that's what I'm taking about!" Isaac snapped back. "My dad sent me here for some bullshit reasons! Motherfucker!" He
tossed his arms in the air. "I'm not crazy; I know what happened to me last month! It was that bitch that did this to me!" He
pointed at his auburn eyes. "And I'm warning you, it can happen again, in this place!"
Doctor Sanyupta sat back in his leather swivel chair and studied Isaac very precisely before saying, "Isaac, allow me to ask the
question. Was it you that murdered those men last month?"
For a second, Isaac caught himself before he stood absolutely still in the middle of the floor "Man...I don't know for sure." His
voice faltered. "It just happened, and then I just blacked out." Isaac then happened to glance at the door and the mistletoe that
was dangling from above.

"Isaac, I see you as a rational human being; someone who is not taken easily to being overrun with delusions of shape-shifting."
"But it's not a delusion!" Isaac pleaded with outstretched arms. "I know what happened that night! Look at my eyes, man! How
did they go from black one day to this the next?"
"There could be a reasonable explanation."
"Like what? Someone broke into my room and slipped a couple of contacts into my eyes? That's bullshit!"
"Isaac, your father believed this facility to be the one place in the world that could help you—
"My father," Isaac twisted his lips. "That overgrown nigga hit me because he said I tried to hit him. Man, the next time I see his
ass I'm gonna take a baseball bat and crack him so hard in the face he won't know what hit his black ass!"
"But he is your father." Sanyupta sounded amazed.
"I don't care if he's my mother; no one hits me and gets away with it! That's why he sent me here, because he knew I would get
his ass back for that!"
Isaac was sweating while pacing across the floor in an agitated, cagey manner, as though he could feel someone watching him
all around.
Meanwhile, Sanyupta, who was still seated quite securely in his chair, kept his eyes stationed only upon Isaac while quietly
tapping his fingers on his desk.
"Isaac, tell me something, wasn't Lynn involved in your being here as well?"
Right then, Isaac stopped just short of a bookshelf with his back turned to Sanyupta. The look he had on his face at that moment
in time was that of a man who could burn holes into the carpet.
"Oh...that bitch." He grunted.
"And why do you refer to the mother of your son in such a manner as that?"
"Because, man, she lied and said that I was—
Isaac paused for a reason at that second. Like the words that he wanted to say were slipping out of his hands and onto the floor.

"What seems to be the problem, Isaac?"
But Isaac would not speak; he just stood in the middle of the floor for a few moments more before slowly trotting back over to the
window and leaning against its pane.
"I asked you a question, young man." Sanyupta patiently reiterated. "Why did you suddenly stop speaking?"
"Because...I don't know for sure," Isaac murmured.
Sanyupta reached for the pen and pad that were both placed just an inch away from him on his desk before he began writing.
"I didn't mean to call her that." Isaac turned around while still leaning against the window.
"But there was some kind of emotion that brought such a hateful word out all of the sudden."
Isaac folded his arms and dropped his head. Every time he tried to turn his attention away from Lynnette that was all the more
the woman's image seemed to follow him.
"What do you believe caused you to call her that?"
Isaac heaved the breath out of his lungs before he said, "She's not the mother of my child."
Sanyupta stopped writing at that moment before sitting forward and folding his hands. "How do you mean?"
Isaac couldn't even look Sanyupta in the eye. He kept his face pointed to the carpet for as long as he could.
"You heard me. I said she wasn't the mother of my child." He shamefully muttered.
"And how do you know this to be true?"
"Because...I just do," he replied.
"That is not a good enough answer, Isaac."
Out of frustration, Isaac flung his head backwards and said, "There was this one cat that we both knew from high school. His
name is William. I guess she was stuck on him at the same time she was on me. One thing led to another, and...and nine months
later she told me." Isaac wiped the mist away from his eyes.
"Oh...I see." Sanyupta gently responded. "And yet, after all of that, you still raise Isaiah as your own?"

Isaac only nodded his head yes. "My dad even told me that he wasn't mine to begin with. He said that God told him. But I guess I
wanted to believe otherwise. I really do love that kid, man."
"How do you and Lynn cope with all of this?"
Snickering, Isaac said, "We cope by not saying anything about it."
"That is far from healthy."
"What the hell else do you want me to do?" He ranted. "Keep on bringing up the past until we break up altogether?"
"Where is Isaiah's father then?"
"He's standing right here!" Isaac angrily stepped forward. "I'm his father!"
Sanyupta relented before saying, "Very well, young man. While I commend you on your commitment, that still does not give a
reason as to why you called Lynn such a derogatory."
Isaac stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Man, I don't know." He whined. "All she and I ever do is fight and fight."
"Do you love her?"
"Yeah, I love her." He callously shrugged. "But rather than try and help me, she just called my dad to come and take me away!
She just stood by and watched as he hit me! No one will ever listen to me! They just yell at me and send me to a fucking lunatic
asylum!"
"Isaac, I want to ask you a very important question, and I want an honest answer in return. Is there anyone in your life that you
feel you have disappointed?"
Without warning, Isaac's entire body just took a strong pause. The young man could have been knocked over so easily at that
point. He was as stiff and solid as iron.
"What...what do you mean by that?"
Shrugging, Sanyupta said, "It means just how it sounds."
Isaac blindly looked all over the office before his eyes connected with the floor all over again. "I'd have to say my father." His
voice cracked.

"Why your father," Sanyupta queried.
Isaac shut his eyes for two seconds before saying, "Before my father came to Cypress, he was born and raised way out in the
sticks. He grew up with this guy named Elmer Holcomb. They used to run moonshine together before they both got saved. About
five years ago, though, Mr. Holcomb, his wife and granddaughter were all killed in a house fire. Every year since then, my dad
and I would drive out there to the house and visit. But this last summer...I couldn't go."
"And why is that?"
"Because, man, it's depressing," Isaac groaned. "They're not there anymore anyways."
"Do you believe that it disappointed your father?"
Feeling cold, Isaac answered, "I know it disappointed me. You should've seen the look on his face when I told him that I didn't
want to go. Then again, you should've seen the look on Lynn's face when she told me that Isaiah wasn't mine." Isaac concealed
his watery eyes. "It's like all three of us are trapped inside this mad circle."
"That is a very astute way of putting it, but I would like to refer to another explanation. As much as I detest using cinema
references, I am forced to utilize one right now. Mr. Roger Moore made a picture some years ago titled 'The Man who Haunted
Himself'. In this film, the title character had an alter ego that played out his most wild and decadent fantasies that carried him
away from his humdrum, almost depressing reality. While the film's ending is preposterous, it justifies to a certain degree the way
you are feeling, or the way you have been feeling for quite some time now."
For the first time since being at Ashlandview Isaac was listening. He may not have fully understood what Sanyupta was saying,
but something was funneling inside and connecting. The doctor had his full attention.
"You were told that you were not the father of a child. You believe that your father betrayed you, but this came after you felt you
disappointed him. You were trying to deflect how he felt by grabbing for the first thing that he supposedly did wrong to you. Now,
you have created an illusion of shape-shifting in order to escape from a reality that you must face either sooner or later. Did
something take place inside that house? I believe so. People were killed. But, Isaac, you were not implicated in anyone's demise.
You were simply an innocent bystander."
"But what about my eyes," he stepped forward. "How do you explain this?"
"Isaac, there have been cases of people having symptoms of hysterical blindness. While your change of eye color is striking, it is
no cause for alarm. I do believe that they shall return to normal eventually."

"But I have these dreams." He urged. "Sometimes I see this naked dude standing at my bedroom door just staring at me. And
then there's the voices I hear. Just two nights ago, I couldn't even remember putting on my pajamas. Are you actually gonna sit
there and tell me that it's all in my head?
"That is exactly what I am saying." Sanyupta adamantly replied.
Taken aback, Isaac's stomach plunged. With his jaw hanging to the floor the man breathlessly asked, "How...how then do I stop
feeling this way? Because, it all felt so damn real," he blinked.
Sanyupta's face took on a more satisfied, if not proud expression. "Young man, you have been here now for exactly seven days,
and this is the first time you have actually asked for help. You cannot change into another person; you are a human being, a
human being that can be reasoned with and aided. As time goes by, we will see what we can do as far as the nightmares are
concerned. A nightmare can never kill you."
Isaac took his hands out of his pockets right then before turning his head to see tiny snowflakes fall outside the window.
Suddenly, a thought of Christmas and Isaiah entered into his mind. It actually caused his once cold body to loosen up.
"Now, if you will come and have a seat, we can begin, my friend." Sanyupta motioned with his right hand.
Not so reluctantly, Isaac Mercer made his way over to the chair that was placed in front of the desk and sat down.
"Just for the record, I never stopped loving Lynn." Isaac stared at Sanyupta.
Sanyupta looked right back at Isaac and steadily remarked, "And if you continue to be the man that I know you can be, she will
never stop loving you either."
Isaac just rested his hands on his knees and shut his eyes. "I just hope you know what you're doing." He spoke so gently. "I still
feel like I don't belong in a place like this." He moaned.
"That will be determined with the passage of time."
Just as soon as he opened his eyes, the lights in the office began flickering off and on. Both Isaac and Sanyupta gawked around
before the event finally ceased.
Appearing somewhat annoyed by the disturbance, Sanyupta sighed and said, "You'll have to forgive that. The lights in this
building have been behaving this way for the past six or seven days. Hopefully our maintenance crew can have it fixed before we
put up the tree in a few days. Now, shall we begin?"

Isaac wiped his eyes some more before he looked straight ahead at Sanyupta and stated, "I...I wrote Lynn a letter some time
ago."
"Really," Sanyupta took off his glasses.
Isaac dropped his head. "Yeah, I just wanted her to know how I truly felt about her. But I left it underneath my bed. I just hope my
father never finds it and reads it."
Smiling from ear to ear, Sanyupta said, "I would not worry too much about that."
Isaac raised his head and glanced behind him at the window where he could see thicker flakes of snow fall from the sky.
"I sure can't wait till Christmas." Isaac's voice faded into a depressed oblivion while his auburn eyes melted away into the snowy
backdrop.