novelxo The Cinnamon Bun Book Store: Chapter 26
Hazel’s text came at the perfect moment. Noah was desperately in need of a distraction. He was at the Dream Harbor Public Library attempting to print out the proper forms for a building permit, a historical site designation form, a town petition to run a business from the beach and others that he wasn’t even sure he needed to or not.
He needed help.
He should ask for some.
He was incredibly stubborn in that area so instead he checked his phone.
Noah waited. He tapped his fingers on the table until the older woman across from him started glaring.
‘Sorry,’ he mouthed.
Typing bubbles appeared and disappeared several times while he waited.
The response was quicker this time.
More bubbles appeared and disappeared, making him wonder what Hazel was typing and deleting. Was she dreading her birthday as much as he was? Did she expect things to be over between them after the party?
He needed to talk to her.
For real.
He needed to lay it all out there.
But not over text.
Whatever Hazel had been typing and deleting she never sent. A few minutes later he got the details for the day of her birthday and that was it. He was alone again, drowning in paperwork and design plans for the other houses.
It was like school all over again but worse this time. Worse because he’d already screwed up so many times and he just needed this plan to work. Worse because he’d convinced himself he needed this to prove to Hazel that he was worth her time. If Hazel wanted him, he’d be back in Dream Harbor as soon as Rachel was feeling better. If Hazel wanted him, he’d build a million of these tiny houses, paperwork included.
He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. He’d rather be working on the houses, hammering and painting and actually doing something. This was the shit he’d run away from before and somehow he’d ended up back here frustrated by paperwork.
Maybe if he’d finished school…
Maybe if he’d gone to college…
Maybe if he’d tried to actually learn something from his parents…
Maybe if he wasn’t such a screw-up…
A failure…
He stood up suddenly, enough that the woman across from him looked up with a surprised scowl.
‘Sorry,’ he whispered again, stacking his papers and grabbing his phone. He had to get out of here. He needed a break. He’d almost learned to block out that voice that criticized him so harshly, the one that had kept him away from home and his family for so long. But sometimes it crept back in.
He used to think it was his dad’s voice, but lately it was sounding a lot like his own.
He made his way through what could only be described as a herd of toddlers heading toward story time and out into the fresh air of the afternoon. It was cool today, fall weather starting to push out summer’s heat. A few early trees had even started to turn yellow around the edges. His tours had started to slow down and in another week he’d be back home, crashing on Rachel’s couch. He always felt melancholy as the weather changed, but this year the feeling was magnified. The end of summer, the end of long, hot days, the end of his time with the sexy bookseller.
He didn’t want to think that last one was true.
The walk home was over a mile but he was glad he’d left his car at the marina. He needed the walk, the fresh air, the chance to clear his mind. He tried to organize his thoughts as he went, sorting through what still needed to be done. The list was long and didn’t do much to ease his anxiety. Not to mention he didn’t know how he would feel being home after so long.
But when he got closer to the water, the salt air filling his lungs, he felt better. Even more so when he saw the little shacks on the beach, especially the one he’d fixed up. It looked damn good. If he could just get this bureaucratic stuff taken care of, maybe he could actually pull this off.
His phone rang as soon as he was in the house.
He answered, expecting to see his nieces’ faces filling the screen. He did not expect to be ambushed by his parents and his sisters. Panic shot through him. The baby.
‘Uh … hi? Is everyone okay?’
‘Rachel mentioned you might come home to help out for a while,’ his mom said, diving right in. Her voice was filled with more hope than he deserved.
‘Uh … yeah. I was thinking about it.’
‘I told you. Pay up.’ Rachel held her hand out and Kristen slapped a bill into it.
‘You bet on it?!’ Noah said.
‘Of course. No one believed me.’
‘How much?’
‘Twenty.’
‘Kristen, you bet I wouldn’t actually do it?’
His sister shrugged. ‘This was just over whether or not you even said it. Higher stakes for if you actually come home or not.’
‘Girls, that’s terrible,’ their mother admonished.
His sisters rolled their eyes in sync with each other.
‘Don’t bet on your brother not coming home. He would never let his nieces who adore him down. Or his big sister who needs him. Or his mother for that matter. Right, Noah?’
‘Wow, Mom. Really laying it on thick,’ Kristen said.
‘By whatever means necessary,’ their mother said, and Rachel laughed.
‘Jesus, Mom,’ Noah muttered.
‘Don’t take the Lord’s name, Noah James.’
He huffed. ‘Sorry.’
‘We just shouldn’t take these years for granted. We don’t know how long your father and I will be here…’
‘Mom!’ Kristen’s face was filled with mock horror. ‘Too far.’
‘Really underhanded move,’ Rachel agreed.
‘Well, he hasn’t been home in so long…’
The three women were talking to each other now, each offering ideas on exactly how much guilt should be leveraged to get Noah home, completely ignoring the fact that he was still on the line. His father sat quietly, his gaze on Noah.
‘Hey, Dad.’ He’d only spoken to his dad a few times since he left home. Not for much more than obligatory check-ins his mother orchestrated. And every conversation had felt crowded with all the things they’d never said to each other, all the disappointment Noah was sure his father harbored against him.
‘Hey, Noah. How are things?’
Noah shrugged but then straightened. He wasn’t seventeen anymore. He wasn’t a kid telling his parents he was quitting school. He wasn’t twenty calling them off the coast of Virginia telling them he wasn’t coming back.
‘Things are good. The tours did well this summer. A lot of good word-of-mouth sent groups my way.’
The older man nodded. ‘That’s good.’
‘Yeah, it is.’ The papers were heavy in his hand. He wanted to tell his father more. He wanted to tell him all about his new plans. Maybe even ask for the old man’s help on all this damn paperwork. But he didn’t get the chance.
‘I’m proud of you,’ his father blurted out and all three women were shocked into silence.
‘Uh … for what?’ Noah dropped into his only chair, laying the paperwork in his lap.
His father cleared his throat. ‘You know, for you … just because … I’m just proud of you. You know, the man you’ve become. And all that.’ He cleared his throat again. His father was never cruel to them as children or overly harsh, but this many words strung together about his feelings was … unusual to say the least.
Noah swallowed.
‘Uh, thank you.’
‘I just wanted you to know. In case you were … uncertain on that.’
Noah nodded because that was all he could manage at the moment. How was it that even at this age, his father’s approval could still mean so much? He didn’t know but it really did.
‘Oh. Yeah. I … uh … maybe I was uncertain on that.’ Noah cleared his throat. ‘So … uh … thanks for clearing that up.’
His father nodded again but his mother’s eyes were filled with tears. ‘See!’ she said, her hands clasped in front of her. ‘Was that so hard?’
‘What about me, Dad?’ Kristen wrapped her arms around their dad’s shoulders from where she sat perched behind him. ‘Are you proud of me, too?’ she teased.
‘Yeah, I don’t think you’ve told me that lately either.’ Rachel nudged him from the other side and their dad harrumphed good naturedly.
‘I’m proud of all my pain-in-the-ass offspring. There. How’s that?’
‘So beautiful.’ Kristen gave him a squeeze.
‘Thanks, Dad,’ Rachel laughed.
It was their mother’s turn to roll her eyes. ‘You’re all ridiculous.’
And as Noah sat there, watching his family teasing each other he could almost smell his mom’s apple pie. He could hear the sound of the football game blaring from the living room. He could see his nieces running wild while his brother-in-law attempted in vain to wrangle them.
For the first time in a long time, Noah let himself feel homesick. He’d ignored it for so long, pushed it down and denied it, always managed to have some stranger in his bed on all major family holidays, that the feeling now was overwhelming. It washed over him, strong and fierce like a sudden storm.
‘Oh, my God, Noah! Are you crying?’ Kristen’s voice was loud enough to drown out the rest of his family’s bickering.
‘What?’ He hastily wiped his eyes. ‘No. Why would I be crying?’
‘Because you love us and miss us!’ his sister crowed triumphantly.
‘Shut up,’ he said but couldn’t help the smile on his face. He loved these ridiculous people and he’d let his stubborn pride keep him away for too long.
Maybe coming home wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world after all.