novelxo Chapter 297
"She has bad taste in men?" He got up silently and moved toward her, aching to soothe her while she talked about this stuff, just wanting to be there for her. Despite everything, all Jake ever wanted was to help her and learn more about what made her tick. She walked further off, putting the distance back between them a little as though she had sensed him getting closer, always holding him at bay. "That's an understatement," she snapped angrily.
"They hurt you?" He had moved faster, got to right beside her before he had spoken again. Instinctively reaching out to her like he always did when she was close, the smell of her shampoo in the fresh air luring him against her, his fingers moving into her hair near her ear. Flexing his fingers into her scalp, causing her to lean into his touch, with a sigh and dampening over his mood like a balm. Touching her always brought him calmness, even when the topic was hard to digest. She leaned into him and he was lost to her almost instantly. His other hand sliding over her shoulder on the other side and sliding down her arm a little. Savoring the softness of her creamy skin with little resistance.
She always feels so fucking good.
Leaning in close to the back of her head, breathing slowly and placing his mouth on the back of her hair, inhaling her, and curbing the urge to kiss her pain away.
"Some... Some just wanted to..." Her voice weakened as she swallowed hard. His hand left her arm, snaked around her waist, and pulled her into his body smoothly. His mouth moving to her neck gently and pulling her tight and close to him to be the strength she needed.
"She didn't protect you," he whispered against her collar bone, the soft delicate smell of her skin bringing him a sense of completeness, the gentle soft curves of her body making the pain in his chest fade a little and he just held her, wanting to always keep her safe. He could stay this way forever.
"She did what she could," she mumbled, softly allowing her body to meet his, having a little too much of an effect on his ability to think clearly and instinct at being joined with her was taking control. He couldn't stop his nose skimming her shoulder and neck, the hand that was in her hair trailing down her naked arm and wrist and back up. He couldn't deny that no matter what he would always want her this way, always want to touch her and devour every inch of her. Even while trying to give her solace about that bitch mother of hers a part of him wanted to turn her in his arms and just kiss the pain away, lose himself in that mouth and against that honey-sweet tongue.
"She didn't stop bringing men around her child, miele." His voice was hoarse with a mix of emotion and lust, and he felt her tense again, this time he knew it was at his words not his actions, his mind coming back to what he said and honing in on a tiny glimpse of Emma's past.
"Why did you leave Chicago ... Leave her?" His hands were still trailing down her arms and up again, but his focus was fully on her words now, the thought that his Emma had run from home to find safety in New York of all places. The thought of the girl he knew running scared from anything made him feel sick to his stomach.
"I needed to walk away from all of it... I needed to save myself because no one else was going to." Her voice broke a little, and he knew without turning her there were more tears and it tore him open to the bone.
"I think you need to talk to someone about all of this, Emma ... a counselor... I could ..."
She jerked away instantly, spinning to glare at him angrily. All moods snapped closed with simple words, and suddenly she was fire and anger and squaring up to him like he was the enemy. "Not a goddamn chance," she spat, all venom and pain in her face. "I'm not fucking crazy!"
“Emma, that isn't what I said," Jake responded a little surprised at her sudden turnaround in mood, seeing a side of her she normally kept so under control. Sheer emotion and rage seeping from that beautiful face. He attempted to put his arms around her gently again, but she held out a hand stopping him. He stayed back, allowing her breathing space to vent. Unsure how to deal with the fire he had always sensed was just under the surface.
"Don't okay
...
you wanted to know... now you know, and that's the end of it." The strength was back in her voice, PA Emma had returned, and she stalked past him toward the car, keeping her eyes averted. Her whole demeanor closing up, standing taller and her grace and mannerisms of the polished PA sliding in defensively. He could read her signs, she was putting that fucking wall back up because he was an idiot that somehow always pushed it. He was pissed as hell again, instant anger flooding back too, but mostly at himself.
"Don't do that," he snapped accusingly, following her back to the car, close on her heels, he grabbed her arm to turn her, but she yanked it away.
"Do what?" she yelled, deliberately looking anywhere but him in an attempt to get away. He grabbed her arm again and tugged her around to face him harshly, this time succeeding.
"Don't shut me out again, clamp down like you always do. Not after everything, I'm... I'm sick to death of this never-ending fucking circle." He raged losing his temper at always feeling like he would get so far and then boom, door slammed shut in his face again, driving him crazy.
"I didn't want to tell you; You just keep pushing." She wrenched her arm away, chin lifting defiantly. "Let's go back to the boat. I'm hungry and I'm tired." She sounded so cool and closed off he could feel himself erupting again internally.
Always the goddamn same shit with her.
He lifted his hands to grab at mid-air in sheer agitation, not sure if he could choke her about now and gritted his teeth, eyes burning, he paced away from her again, cursing and raging into the open air. She ignored him, turning and getting back into the car. Jake walked to the car and got in, slamming his door, and buckling up in complete stony-faced silence.
He knew when something was futile, he knew when to give up and stop going around in circles of fury and rage that would only end with him doing something stupid as hell. Jake had a lot of flaws but his worse was his impulsive knee-jerk reaction to any kind of hurt. He knew he could be a massive jackass when feelings were involved, and he was done with this once and for all.
"Conversation fucking over," he muttered to himself, starting the car and throwing it into gear as he pulled back out onto the road, he turned the car and headed back to where they had come from; breakneck speed to expel some of the energy building up inside of him wanting to blow out like an explosion. He needed to just get her back to the boat, dump her on deck and put some much-needed distance between them.
He turned the stereo up loud indicating he wouldn't attempt conversation, in fact, he had nothing left to say to her. She was just messing with his head in all kinds of ways, and he couldn't do this anymore. Noticing her hand in her hair twisting it anxiously he lost what hold he had left of his temper. Seeing her like that always irritated him, but now it just fucking enraged him. He tugged her hand out of her hair aggressively.
"Stop fucking doing that!" he barked over the music, eyes glinting at her with fury. She glared back haughtily.
"That hurt," she snapped, reaching out to turn the music down, he had no idea what was even playing it was all just noise to drown her out, and it was failing. She touched her head at the root of the hair she had been twisting indicating he had pulled it and he felt bad despite his anger. He always felt stupidly guilty when it came to her. She had a way of making him feel like the biggest asshole on the planet effortlessly. Maybe being an asshole was what he should be doing and kill this once and for all. If they weren't friends, maybe they could just be professional and not give a fuck about each other anymore.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," he apologized through gritted teeth. "I'm sorry." He meant it, but it sounded like it lacked conviction. He was done with all of this and he just had to get her back to the boat and out of his face for a while so he could think.
"I don't know why it bothers you so much," she spat at him. "I don't know I'm doing it." Angry flashing eyes aimed his way once again, and he literally wanted to just hit something.00000000