novelxo Chapter 39
All the blood drains from my body, so I instantly turn cold and my body erupts in goosebumps. ‘‘Your mother?’’ I blink at him
timidly, reminded that with him I should always have a level of fear and never forget my station. I should get it tattooed
somewhere obvious as I have this insane ability to forget.
‘‘Yes, my mother.’’ No elaboration, just a statement and he closes down, which tells me I am getting no more information at all.
He lets me go and I automatically rub my upper arm where his cruel grip has left the ache of bruising and just watch him as he
walks around the lounge like a pacing lion. He seems more intent on checking our plush surroundings in good old sunny Rich-
Ville than arguing this point anymore, and I am too tired for it anyway.
His house is gorgeous. Huge and yet strangely devoid of anything Alexi. It’s not like his apartment over the club that reflects his
sinister side and masculinity. This seems showy, family orientated like it was professionally designed to be light, airy and homely,
and he just doesn’t fit.
Neither do I, it’s not to my taste and feels a bit like play pretend to be a normal person in this normal world of housewives and
happy lives. Something I will never be.
‘‘I’m leaving you with security and Mico, I’ll be back in a week or two, and I’ll see where I will put you on a more permanent basis.
Gino knows you’re here. He will keep an eye, from a distance. Try not to get yourself in any trouble and keep your nose clean.
This isn’t the city and anything you do here will get back to me faster than you can blink. I know about your endeavours here
before, and will be mighty pissed should you attempt any sort of a repeat. I’ll still pay you and there will be no need to try and
earn any other way. Oh, and stay well away from my cousin and his girlfriend ... I doubt he has forgotten you.’’ He’s going on at
me but all I heard was Mico!
Mico is his shadow and head of his security; he goes everywhere Alexi goes, constantly. He trusts him like no other and it’s rare
you ever see one without the other. I don’t like the fact he’s leaving him with me. Obviously has zero trust that I won’t try and
seduce his security or maybe make a run for it, but he’s leaving himself open without Mico by his side.
Who knows what kind of danger that will leave him in? I can almost taste my panic rising inside, and just keep gawping at him
like he’s out of his mind. Mico doesn’t seem surprised or well, anything really. He has that same Carrero deadpan skill of not
reacting, and could be Alexi’s brother if you go by looks and mannerisms. He has the same tall dark handsome Italian genes and
weirdly green eyes, the same overall death by glare and oozing intimidation.
I never knew Italians with olive skin could have green eyes but it’s not as pretty or as soulless as the pale grey of a wolf. Mico is
a typical Hollywood gangster movie henchman in a dark suit and black overcoat. Silent, obedient and all seeing. He doesn’t
strike me as dumb either and has that same clever sadism about him that Alexi just effortlessly oozes from every pore. Only
Mico is not as dominant and out there as Mr Mafia Boss is, and tends to be the silent intimidation in the room and only does as
he is told.
‘‘Camilla?’’ Alexi snaps at me and brings my attention back to him with an edge of anger, and I realise it’s probably because I
haven’t responded and was glancing at his sidekick in evaluation. Probably thinks I am checking him out and wondering what
getting him naked would look like, I mean he’s not exactly ugly ... but he’s not Alexi.
‘’What?’’ I blurt in jumpy reaction, he still has an ability to make me flinch and instinctively respond.
‘’Do you understand?’’ He says it so slowly, like he’s talking to a child, as much as I want to roll my eyes and sigh at him I just
nod politely and give him my all-purpose quick smile of agreement.
‘’Yes, sir!’’
‘‘That better not be sarcasm!’’ He grits teeth at me and I can see he is in no mood today.
‘‘Oh just fuck off Alexi, I will do as I am told. I will have your bodyguard flanking my every move anyway, so it’s not like I can do
anything other than what you say. He looks more than capable of enforcing your demands. You can leave now.’’ Sassy is back in
play even if it’s more agitation fuelled, and as much as I don’t really want him to leave, he’s pissing me off.
‘’Nice try. I have plans here for the next few hours then we can have dinner and I’ll go back to the city.’’ He dismisses me with an
eyebrow flick and picks up mail on the side unit, flicking through distractedly.
What?
‘’Dinner? Like a date?’’ I honest to God blanch at him in disbelief, and he just frowns like I am completely stupid.
‘’No, not like a date. Dinner ... I need an escort, I have business here. Wear something conservative, sexy underwear, high
shoes and hair down.’’ He nods like I am a puppy getting a command to heal and this is an everyday request.
My eyes are probably as wide as saucers as that inner rage sparks back up. ‘‘I told you to stop doing that. One, I can dress
myself—I manage daily with quite a level of success and as you check me out when you think I am not looking, it’s obviously a
skill. Secondly, I assume the underwear is for your benefit and I wasn’t aware I was now one of your fuck buddies whenever you
feel like it. Possessions, I assumed, had some say over when, where and how, if I ever let you touch me again. And thirdly, oh
yes I have a third ... Stop telling me how to wear my hair it grows from my fucking head, therefore it’s mine and I know how best
to wear it.’’ That would be hormonal rage button pressed and put into play. And his response is to look completely amused as
though I am having a mere tantrum over something mundane and not his overbearing ever-present control issues.
Arghhhhhh!
‘‘Do I have to remind you of what happens anytime you defy me?’’
I actually hate him. He just switches on intimidation at every turn and makes me melt into my own shoes and back down with one
icy tone. I am so sick of it, but he knows it works and therefore he uses it. Like a dog whistle to a misbehaving hound and I
realise maybe Gino is right, I do need to stand up to the tosser when he plays this card.
‘’I’ll pick my clothes!’’ I stamp my foot childishly, straightening my bloody metaphoric crown. Pushing that tingling of apprehension
away, and staking a claim in my own goddamn life!
‘‘Underwear? My choice because you won’t be seeing them, so it doesn’t affect you if I go in my full birthday suit or my granny
backup knickers.’’ I lift one finger and stroke it off dramatically, staring him straight in the eye as he towers over me effortlessly.
‘’Hair, shoes and makeup ... however I feel, and whatever mood strikes me.’’ I strike off three more fingers, glaring at him with
furrowed brows and oozing attitude, waving my hands around like a crazed weirdo.
‘’You? ... I don’t care. I can take you or leave you any day of the week and makes no difference to me at all.’’ Fifth finger that I
prod mid-air before lifting my other hand to carry on the list of things he will not dictate to me. ‘’Dinner? Well if you asked me
nicely then I would probably agree as I have a long tedious stretch in the Boredoms to get through, and it might be nice to have a
little fun, plus I’m hungry and do not see a cook lingering in the shadows to rummage me up anything five star and have no
desire to sweat in your kitchen either.’’ Alexi looks mildly unamused but I carry right on.
‘’And finally, Escort services? Unlikely, so don’t hold your breath! This lady of the night hung up her crotch-less knickers a long
time ago and you could never afford my current fee to get me out of retirement. Face it Carrero ... I am above your pay grade.’’ I
am standing my ground, even if I am shaking on it. Alexi locks eyes on me in a silent battle and I catch the slight shift of suits in
the room, making a swift exit, which makes my heart sink. Bravado waning because I have no idea why his own men would walk
out when one of his playthings dares to stand up to him.
I know he won’t hit me; that much I am confident in nowadays. I just have no idea what he is going to do. Sometimes he just
ignores my show of fierce; other times he ties me to torture devices in dark rooms and destroys me with so very little effort.
His own blood and shadows making a swift depart just tells me that his soulless demon side is about to make a grand entrance.
He leans in close, terrifyingly so, and almost touches his nose to mine in a wholly intimidating way. A hand trailing my face
almost delicately, sending shivers and ripples of something through my core as he puts the fear of God in me in the worst kind of
way.
‘‘Disobedience never bodes well for you, London. As for me and sex ... you can bet on it. Making stands, acting like you don’t
want it, but I can read you better than you think and every single pore on your body is screaming for me to touch you.’’ He leans
closer and I swear I hold my breath in anticipation, despite every single part of me wanting so badly to tell him to go jump off a
bridge; my traitorous pelvis quivering with proximity to his, and I can’t keep my eyes from straying to his mouth while my body
vibrates with the intimacy of how close he’s gotten.
I jump when he runs his thumb over my lips and tilts my head up to him with a finger under my chin, so I almost graze his mouth.
I want him to kiss me, even while being terrified of his every move.
Jesus, I am pathetic as shit and so fucked up.
‘‘I can smell the desperation.’’ Alexi drops my face and moves me back in one harsh fluid movement with one finger on my chest
that feels like a stinging slap to my pride.
Letting him fuck me was the single dumbest thing I ever did, and we both know it. He has another edge, and true to personality,
he intends to exploit its power over me. I can say no until the cows come home, but even I know the second he throws seduction
my way I will fold and my fate will be inevitable. All he has to do is kiss me and I'll be putty in his hands.
Alexi is like a drug. You despise what it does to you, you hate yourself for needing it, and you know it will destroy your life and
turn you into something you don’t recognise anymore. Yet when it’s within grasp you will give your soul to be possessed by it all
over again.
I am completely screwed.