THE ALIEN LANDS

“So,” Lisa said, “May the Lords of the Colonial protect us all.”

She wore a blue coat with a round collar that made her look as though she was from France.

“See you on the other side of the galaxy, maybe.” Cordelia said

“Let’s do this thing.” Ingle said as he jumped up and down three times. “What, I’m working on my Earth slang.”

One of the cute customs they picked up was the bumping of fist. They did it as a sign of luck. Cordelia dropped her gaze, embarrassed. She knew how all three of them felt and she knew that there was nothing more to say or do. She waited, pretending to check out a Chicago Police Car going by. One officer with, the driver, one officer black, older who blew her a kiss. She certainly could pick them. One by one, they all walked up the cement path to the front door.

Ingle put his arm around Cordelia’s shoulders.

“I know what you are thinking Cordelia,” he said gruffly. Cordelia was taller, but Ingle was broader, built like a football player and he pulled her off balance. “The humans of this world are not like the humans of our world. They won’t judge us harshly.” He squeezed Cordelia’s shoulder in almost a big brotherly way, “We got this, we’re going to this school. Trust me.”

If this was a Mount Arm-Joy Holo-novel--- Cordelia thought, just for the record – the house would contain a secret pad where she could beam to anywhere in the solar system that her heart wanted her to go. Cordelia kept picturing herself, finding that cabinet, keying in that nine-digit code and going to her favorite place.

But this wasn’t a Mount Arm-Joy novel. This was real life.

Cordelia said nothing. You could envy Ingle, but you couldn’t hate him, because along with being handsome, and hot according to numerous Earth girls, he also had a good heart, he’d give you the clothes off his back. More than anyone else she met in her class, Ingle reminded Cordelia of Sh’tan from the novel and that made her the sidekick eventual love interest.

Cordelia rang the doorbell. A soft, tiny thump erupted from somewhere deep in the house. She had researched older homes with character thanks to HGTV which was her favorite channel to watch when she was at home. She rehearsed a mental list of her personal goals, what she would do in her spare time in every conceivable way, except maybe her strange hair do, now that all that time she put into making sure her hair was perfect was now ruined. She wasn’t surprised. She was used to the feeling of feeling useless. She had it all the time. It was one of the few things she could count on.

The doorway was guarded by a storm door. It was designed in such a way to match the décor of the house. She noticed flowers in the window sills. The administrators took care to make sure the inside of the house has been just as pleasing as the outside of the house. Cordelia thought, with no curiosity at all, that they could not be in December. It was still November. Then, without warning, it began to rain. She smiled, at least it would melt some of the snow already on the ground.

It was still raining five minutes later and it was starting to rain heavier now. The door finally opened, and a wave of nice warm air rushed out. The warm, delicious smell of a stranger’s house. A stranger’s house on a planet that was not her own.

“Hello?” Cordelia called. She and Lisa exchanged glances. Then she looked over to Ingle, who seemed equally confused. She pushed the door all the way open.

“Did you hear anyone say you could come in?” asked Lisa.

“No” Cordelia answered back, still unsure. “Do we go in or do we stand out here and wait a little more.”

“Guys,” Ingle said as he started shivering, “the rain is seriously starting to pick up now. Can we go inside?”

“I guess we don’t have any other choice.”

The foyer was simple, bamboo floors flanked by custom designed rugs and one that had the word Welcome. Cordelia leaned on the doorbell. Again, no one answer.

“Maybe we got the wrong house,” Lisa said. The fact that she said that and the fact that Ingle wasn’t moving inside made Cordelia want to go inside more. If the interviewer turned out to be the guardian of Mount Arm-Joy, she thought, that would be the find of the life time, but her feet were starting to get wet as the rain started getting heavier.

On the right-side across from the front door, a sign read “Interviewers please go to the second floor.” On the left, was a cozen den with leather chairs, a television could be heard coming from that room. Cordelia saw a bunch of kids watching television. They waved at her, she waved back. Interesting.

All the blinds were up. The quality of the darkness was less like a house that you find in a Steven King horror novel. Was it done like that on purpose to intimidate candidates? Cordelia felt like one of those actresses that was slow motion walking towards the camera in a Law and Order series. She had to at least look. The darkness reminded her of the first time she got on a cruiser.

One of the kids who was watching television in the den walked over to them and said, “You’re supposed to go upstairs.”

“Right,” Cordelia said nervously, “upstairs. Got it.”

All three of the alien visitors walked upstairs to the second floor. When they got to the second floor, there was a room where the door was opened. Cordelia got braved and opened the door. It was unlocked. This is just like my favorite holo-novel only real Cordelia thought to herself. Her hands trembled. She could not help herself. It felt like the world around her was ending. But, everything you have been training for is leading up to this moment.

Cordelia was now starting to worry. The room was big and dark. She had seen pictures of the house online, but she did not know it would be this big. The room felt dark and cold, like something evil, something scary, something dangerous was lurking inside. She closed the door, breathing hard, her face glowing in the darkness. It was then when she nearly tripped over the body, lying on the floor, dead.

Fifteen minutes later the foyer was full of people and activity. Cordelia sat in the corner, in a leather chair, like someone who had seen something in a Stephen King novel. She was frozen with fear and confusion. Lisa sat beside her while Ingle stood trying to make sense of what was going on.

The old man was flat on his back on the floor. His stomach was as big as a doughnut, his hair black almost like it was dying. Two paramedics were crouched over him, one man and one woman. The woman was pretty, by earth standards. She had a little bit of meat on her bones. She did look out of place, like she was an administrator who was training someone on a new job. The paramedics worked the scene as they were supposed to. Cordelia had seen reality television and she was disappointed that it wasn’t like what she had seen on the networks. They were talking in low voices, packing up, taking off patches, finishing up the contaminated scenes and getting rid of items that they did not leave.

They were examining the body with the training that they had received. The old man’s mouth was open, and Cordelia noticed the decaying tongue. It nearly made her throw up. She smelled something that confirmed that the man had performed a shit on himself prior to his death.

“I have never seen a dead Earther body. At least not in real life.”

“Yes,” Cordelia said thickly, “I have never seen one either.” Her lips and teeth felt numb. She wanted to call her dad and tell him the news.

The male paramedic stood up from where he was squatting by the body. Cordelia watched him stretch, he started tipping his head again checking one more thing. Then he walked in their direction, gently removing the rubber gloves from his hands.

“Well,” he announced with a smile, “we have us here, a dead body!” By his accent, he sounded like he was from down south. Tennessee.

Cordelia cleared her throat. The man placed the gloves in a nearby trash can by the door.

“What happened to him?”

“Looks like he may have had a heart attack. Not the way I would want to go, but if you must go and he did, a heart attack is the quickest.”

He was trying to suppress a grin, which made Cordelia wonder how could someone laugh or even smile in their line of work. He might have been twenty-six, maybe twenty-seven, the uniform was blue with the words Chicago Medical Center on their shoulder patches. Cordelia thought the man was attractive and if she wasn’t getting ready to go to college, she would consider asking if he was available.

“Well” and Cordelia was trying to figure out what to say, she did not know Earth customs that well, “I am sorry. I’m not from here.”

“Why are you sorry?” he asked. “You did not kill him, did you? Do I need to call Chicago PD?”

“Oh no,” and now Cordelia was getting nervous, her defense mechanism, “I’m just here for an interview for this drama school that is supposed to be the best in the country.”

“You’re here to interview for a school?” The second paramedic overheard her.

“Yes, sir.”

Now Cordelia was getting nervous.

“Spend a lot of time around dead people MS----”

“Cordelia.” She said, shaking, “Cordelia Alldice.”

The two paramedics exchanged looks. They studied Cordelia’s reaction.

“Listen,” Ingle cut in, “Maybe we should call the administrator and let them know about the situation.”

Nervously, Cordelia stood up, ready to bolt out of there like her life depended on it, “I think my friend here has the right idea.”

“What’s your hurry?” the male paramedic said. His eyes haven’t left side. “I think the victim might have left something for you.”

On cue, the female paramedic picked up two manila envelopes, document-size, off a granite table top by the door. Cordelia frown.

“I really don’t think so.”

“Yeah, I agree with my friend, we should go,” Ingle was saying, “Thanks, and I don’t know earth customs all that well, but if he was alive and died, I am so, so sorry for the family. I hope I am saying that right.”

The pretty paramedic’s blonde hair was in two ropes of a braid. She wore a shiny red ring with the letter R on it. She was a pale, skinny angel of death who could kill a man with her smile. The envelopes were most likely transcripts, an offer letter may be. For some reason, maybe because she didn’t want to know or on some level, maybe she did, Cordelia took the one with her name on it.

“All right, goodbye sweet princess,” the male paramedic began to sing. He twisted his way back into the house and closed the door. The trio was outside in the front of the house and the rain had stopped by that point.

“What in the eight worlds just happened?” asked Lisa. “Were we just” she searched for the right word, “were we just punked?”

“I’m not sure.” Ingle said. He looked at the envelope, “what are we supposed to do with these?”

“I think we’re supposed to open these,” Cordelia said.

“Well, I got to be back at the house by five, it’s hamburger night and I am not missing my dad’s famous Earth burgers. See ya.”

They all shook hands formally. It felt strange to even do that. Cordelia walked away slowly back down East Illinois Avenue. A man had died in the house he just left. She was shaken up by that. But then she realized something as she noticed the same group of people staring at her as she reached the end of the street.

“Surprise.” They all yelled out, “That was your entrance test.” Said the male who she saw inside the house, “You just got admitted to Arcadia Academy.”

After all the hugs had been given and the crowd had disbursed, Cordelia opened the envelope. She saw right away that it wasn’t her transcript from her current school, or an official document of any kind. The envelope held a notebook. It was odd-looking, its corners were worn like it had been around for a long time, its cover foxed.

The first page, handwritten in black ink, red: