The Air He Breathes

A team of cops came over to my house along with Sam and his father, and they searched the whole house for cameras.

Eight were found, including the final one, which was placed inside of my jeep.

I’m going to be sick.

They were the same tiny cameras Sam had told me about when he’d first changed the locks in my house. “I can’t believe this. God dammit, Elizabeth, I’m so sorry,” Sam said, rubbing his brow. “Tanner was the only person in town we sold these new cameras to.”

“How many did you sell him?”

He swallowed hard. “Eight.”

“How could he do this? How could he get the cameras in here? He’s been watching us this whole time?” I asked the cops, who were collecting the cameras.

“It’s hard to say how long he’s been doing this, but we will find an answer. We’ll run his fingerprints and see if anything comes up. We’ll figure this out, ma’am.”

After everyone headed out, Tristan wrapped his arms around me. “We should go get Emma. You should be with her.”

I nodded. “Yeah, we should.”

Tristan put his finger under my chin and tilted my head up so I could stare into his eyes. “We’re going to figure all of this out, Lizzie. I promise you.”

For the whole ride over to Kathy and Lincoln’s house, I prayed that we would figure it all out.

***

“Liz, what are you doing here?” Lincoln asked, opening the front door. Tristan waited in his car for me.

“I know Emma’s supposed to stay the night, but I would really feel more comfortable if she was home with me tonight.”

Lincoln raised an eyebrow as Kathy walked over to greet me. “Liz, what’s going on?”

“Just picking up Emma.” I smiled. “I’ll explain everything later, I promise.”

“But Tanner just stopped by to pick her up. He said you were having car trouble and wanted him to drop her off at your house.”

Oh my God.

I turned to look at Tristan. The worry in my eyes must have been clear as day because he pumped his fist against his mouth as I hurried back over to him. “Tanner has her.”

“Call 911,” he ordered as I hopped into the car and he drove off. I spoke with the cops and they said they were on their way to my house to meet us.

I couldn’t stop shaking. My mind was shutting down on me and I couldn’t see through my tears. My head was growing more and more dizzy as each second passed. I was going to faint. I was going to pass out. I was going to—

“Lizzie,” Tristan said sternly as he gripped my hand in his. “Lizzie! Look at me. Now!” he ordered. I sobbed, unable to stop as I turned his way. “I need you to take a breath for me. Okay? I need you to breathe.”

I inhaled deep.

But I wasn’t certain that an exhale followed.

***

“Can you think of any place he might have taken her?” a police officer questioned me.

“No. No.” His partner stood by side him, taking notes. The process of everything was slow, and I didn’t understand why they were taking their sweet time when they could’ve been out there searching. “I’m sorry, when are you going to actually start looking for her?”

Tristan handled calling everyone. He made sure everyone was up to date with all the information, and it wasn’t long before Faye, Sam, Kathy, and Lincoln were standing in my living room, and Mama had already hit the road with Mike to be there soon.

“Ma’am, I know you’re worried, but there is a process we have to go through when a child is missing. We’ll need the most updated photos you have of her, and we’ll need to know more details about her—hair color, eye color. Did she have any reason that maybe she ran away from home?”

“Are you kidding me?” I huffed, unable to believe the words that had just left his mouth. “We just found cameras hidden in my house, and then you have the nerve to question if maybe just maybe my daughter ran away instead of being kidnapped? Tanner Chase has my baby, so how about you just do your damn job and find her!” I screamed at them, not meaning to take it out on the officers, but having no one else to blame. I felt so helpless. I did this. This is my fault. My baby could be hurt, or even worse…

“Lizzie, it’s okay. We’ll find her,” Tristan whispered against my ear. “It’s okay.”

But we didn’t find her that night. The search went on and on, and we checked every inch of town, every inch of the wooded forest, but there was nothing to be found. Nothing at all. Mama and Mike showed up, but weren’t exactly sure what to say other than, ‘They will find her.’

I wished the words brought more comfort, but they didn’t. Everyone seemed just as terrified as I was.

I told everyone to go home, but they all refused and fell asleep in the living room. When I finally made it to my bedroom, Tristan was there to hold me. “I’m so sorry, Lizzie.”

“She’s just a baby… Why would he hurt her? She’s my world.”

He held me for a few minutes longer before we heard a tapping on my bedroom window. When we turned to look, there was a Post-It note sitting against it.

So many books in this shed. I wonder what Emma would want to read? –TC

“Oh my God,” I muttered.

“We have to call the cops,” Tristan said, reaching for his phone. I looked out of the window and saw Bubba sitting on the ground.

“No, Tristan. We can’t.” I opened the window and climbed out. “He said just us.”

He followed after me and picked up the stuffed animal that had another Post-It note.

Libraries and sheds are a weird mix. Sheds seem better for cars if you ask me. –TC

“He’s by your shed,” I said to Tristan, who placed his hand in front of me, refusing to let me go first.

“Stay behind me,” he ordered as we walked toward his backyard.

“What a hero you are, Tristan.” Tanner laughed, looking our way. His body looked like a shadow until he stepped closer to the light from the shed. “Taking care of Elizabeth.”

“Tanner, what’s going on?” I asked, confused and terrified.

“Do you hear that?” Tristan whispered to me. I stopped to listen, hearing the sound of a running car inside the shed.

“Emma’s in there, isn’t she?” I asked Tanner.

“You always were smart. That’s why I loved you. Aloof as fuck, but still, smart.”

“You have to let her out, Tanner. The chemicals from the car will hurt her. They could kill her.”

“Why did you choose him?” he asked, leaning against Tristan’s table saw. “I just don’t understand.”

“I didn’t choose Tristan, Tanner. It just happened.”

Tristan edged closer to the shed and Tanner hissed. “No, no, no. Stop right there, Casanova. Or I’ll shoot.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a gun. Oh my God.

“What do you want from us?” I cried. My eyes moved to the shed where the car was still running. My baby… “Tanner, please let her out.”

“I just wanted you,” he said, waving the gun around. “From day one, I wanted you. And then Steven took you. I saw you first, and he didn’t care. I won the coin toss, and he still took you away from me. And then he died, and I gave you time to mourn him. To miss him. I was here waiting for you, and out of nowhere, this guy shows up and steals you!” Tanner wiped his hands over his emotion filled eyes. “Why didn’t you pick me, Liz? Why didn’t you come back for me? Why haven’t you ever seen me?”

“Tanner,” I said, walking cautiously toward him. “I do see you.”

He shook his head. “No. You’re just scared. I’m not stupid, Liz. I’m not stupid.”

I stared into his panicked eyes and kept walking. It took everything in me to hold my fear inside my body. It took everything in me to seem somewhat calm. “I’m not scared of you, Tanner Michael Chase. I’m not.” I stepped closer to him and lay my hand against his cheek. His eyes dilated, and his breaths became heavy. “I see you.”

He closed his eyes, running his face against my hand. “Jesus, Liz. You’re all I wanted.”

My mouth hovered over his and I felt his hot breath against me. “I’m yours. I’m yours. We can run away with each other,” I said, my hands falling to his chest. “We can start all over.”

“Just us?” he whispered.

My forehead fell to his. “Just us.”

His free hand wrapped around my lower back, and I shivered at his touch. His fingers pulled up my shirt, and he felt my bare skin. “God. I’ve always wanted this.” He sighed against my neck, kissing it lightly, sending chills throughout me. His tongue slipped from his mouth and landed against my skin, licking me slowly.

We heard the sound of the shed doors opening behind us, and Tanner’s eyes shot open. “You bitch!” he hissed, looking betrayed by my closeness. He shoved me to the ground and held his gun up, seconds away from shooting toward Tristan, who had just disappeared into the shed. As Tanner went to chase Tristan, I grabbed his leg, making him fall to the ground with me.

The gun slipped from his grip, landing between us. We both leaped up to grab it, and we started wrestling with one another. The gun was clasped in both of our hands, and Tanner shoved me with his elbow, slamming it against my eye. “Let it go, Liz!” he shouted, but I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. Tristan had to get Emma out safely. He had to save my daughter. “I swear to God, I’ll shoot you, Liz. I love you so fucking much, but I’ll do it. Just let go. Please!” he cried.

“Tanner, don’t do this!” I begged him, feeling my hold on the gun slipping. “Please,” I pleaded, wanting this terrible nightmare to come to an end.

“I loved you,” he whispered, tears falling from his eyes. “I loved you.”

The sound of the gun firing one time was what I heard first. We wrestled one another. The second fire, I heard next. Then a burning sensation crept into my gut, making vomit rise up my throat. My eyes were wide, terrified by all of the blood. Was I bleeding? Was I dying?

“Lizzie!” Tristan yelled, hurrying out of the shed with Emma in his arms.

I turned to him, my body in a state of shock, completely covered in blood that wasn’t mine. Tanner lay under me, his body motionless as blood spilled from beneath him. Oh my God. “I killed him. I killed him. I killed him,” I cried, shaking uncontrollably.

By that point everyone who’d been inside my house was standing in the backyard. I thought I heard yelling, shouting. Someone said to call 911. A hand landed against my shoulder, begging me to stand up. Emma wasn’t breathing, someone said. Another voice told Tristan to keep doing CPR. My world was spinning. Everyone was moving in slow motion around me. The red, white, and blue lights in front of our house were burning into my soul. Professionals took over caring for Emma. Mama cried. Faye sobbed. Someone shouted my name.

There was so much blood.

I killed him.

“Lizzie!” Tristan said, knocking me back into reality. “Lizzie, baby.” He bent down and placed his hands around my face. My tears fell against his hands, and he gave me a broken smile. “Baby, you’re in shock. Were you shot? Are you hurt?”

“No, I killed him,” I whispered, turning my head to look at Tanner, but Tristan refused to let me.

“Baby, no. No. It wasn’t you. I just need you to come back to me, okay? Lizzie. I need you to put down the gun.”

I stared down at my blood-covered hands, which were still clenching the gun. “Oh my God,” I murmured, dropping the gun to the side. Tristan was quick to lift me up into his arms, away from Tanner’s motionless body. My head fell into his shoulder as I watched cops and paramedics rush over.

“Where’s Emma?” I asked, turning my head back and forth, searching the area. “Where’s Emma?!”

“She’s on her way to the hospital,” Tristan explained.

“I have to go,” I said, getting out of his grip. My legs were trembling, and I almost fell to the ground. “I have to go make sure she’s okay.”

“Lizzie,” he said, shaking my shoulders. “I need you to focus for one second. Your eyes are bugging out, your heart rate is through the roof, and your breathing is chaotic. I need you to let this paramedic check you out.”

His lips kept moving, and I narrowed my eyes trying to hear his words, but they just turned to mumbles.

My body went limp, my eyes crossed.

Everything faded to black.

***

“EMMA!” I shouted, opening my eyes and sitting up. A sharp pain shot through me and I lowered myself back down. My eyes glanced around the room, and I took in all the machines, cabinets, and hospital supplies.

“Welcome back, darling,” Mama said, sitting beside my bed. I narrowed my eyes, confusion pulsing through my head. She bent forward and ran her fingers through my hair. “It’s okay, Liz. Everything’s going to be fine.”

“What happened? Where’s Emma?”

“Tristan’s with Emma.”

“Is she okay?” I asked, trying to sit up, but the pain shot across my side. “Jesus!”

“Relax,” Mama ordered. “One of the bullets hit you in the side. Emma’s okay, we are just waiting for her to wake up. She has a breathing tube in to help her a bit, but she’s okay.”

“Tristan’s with her?” I asked. Mama nodded. My mind started to play catch up as I stared down at my body. My left side was wrapped in bandages, and my body was covered in blood, some that was mine, some that was… “Tanner… What happened to Tanner?”

Mama frowned. She shook her head. “He didn’t make it.”

I turned my head away and stared out the window. I wasn’t certain if I was filled with relief or complete confusion.

“Can you go check on Emma?” I asked. She kissed my forehead and told me she would be right back. I hoped she wouldn’t rush, though. Loneliness seemed right to me.