Text Appeal

A year later…

Ava: This is bullshit. I am not wearing that thing.

Me: So don’t.

Katja: You said I could pick your dress, Liebling. And it will look amazing with Riley’s wedding gown.

Ava: It’s bright fucking yellow.

Katja: Ja. Because you are my sunshine.

Ava: I am going to look like the back of a school bus.

Shanti: This is hilarious. But we have other things to discuss. Tell her already, Katja.

Katja: Fine. I was just joking.

Ava: I don’t have to wear the dress? Thank fuck for that. You’re lucky you’re not home right now. Or I would tickle the crap out of you.

Katja: I hate being tickled.

Ava: That’s kind of the point.

Martha: Lulu has left the chat again.

Nicole: I don’t know why you keep adding her. She does it every time. We’re all cringe according to her.

Shanti: LOL

Joyce: Martha keeps adding her because she’s a mean old woman who thinks it’s funny to annoy her grandchild. But the language in here is not suitable for a child her age.

Noor: Pfft. It’s not like she hasn’t heard it all before. And community is good for children.

Denise: The wedding is in a week. Don’t we have important things to discuss? I thought that was the point of this chat group.

Me: You’re absolutely right, Denise.

Martha: Suck up.

Martha: I am bringing a pack of cards to the reception. Just in case it gets boring. Nothing like a hand of poker to liven up a party.

Me: Whatever makes you happy. Just please don’t fleece my mother of all she’s worth.

Martha: Spoilsport.

Me: We’ve got the park at the point booked for the ceremony and the Lighthouse Bar and Grill sorted for the reception. I have a dress, we’ve ordered flowers, and Nicole is kindly doing the music. Connor and Stu have got their suits. Is there anything I am forgetting?

Nicole: You’re going to like my choice of songs. Thought we’d start with some Rick Rolling and go from there.

Me: I LOVE IT

Shanti: Martha is right. Riley is a total suck up these days.

Noor: She’s happy and in love.

Joyce: Yes she is. Leave her be. Her and Connor make such a cute couple. Did I tell you I saw them dancing in the fruit and vegetable section at the grocers the other day?

Ava: Gag.

Noor: Shush, young lady. We all know you’re just as silly with Katja when no one can see.

Harold: You tell ’em, ladies. Love is a beautiful thing.

Shanti: Harold? What the fuck are you doing in here?

Harold: I was invited. Thank you very much.

Me: He’s head fisherperson. Every wedding party needs one.

Harold: That’s right. I bought new waders for the event and everything.

Ava: …

Katja: I think you’ve actually stunned her so badly she can’t speak.

Joyce: She’s probably just so happy to be a bridesmaid and excited about the wedding and getting to wear her new yellow dress.

Noor: Ha.

Ava: You’re not funny.

Shanti: They kind of are.

Denise: That’s enough for now. It’s getting late. Bedtime, everybody.

Me: Excellent point. Good night, Denise.

Martha: All of this groveling won’t help you win the chowder competition this year, Riley.

Me: You never know your luck in a small town, Martha.

Denise: My judging is always impartial. She knows that.

Me: Of course it is, Denise. We all trust you implicitly. I was just playing.

Harold: And I am entering the competition this year with a special creation so I don’t like your chances.

Me: Don’t make me hurt you, Harold.

Shanti: Nothing like the chowder competition to bring violence to the streets of Port Stewart.

Noor: We’ve also got Jenga for that.

Joyce: Goodness that’s true.

Denise: Alright. Goodnight, ladies! And Harold.

Ava: Night, Denise.

Nicole: Sweet dreams!

Lulu: WHO ADDED ME AGAIN???? WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT???

“Are you sure this hero isn’t based on me?” asks Connor, leaning against the doorframe with a copy of my latest book in hand. He’s dressed only in a pair of pajama pants that I hope to divest him of shortly. This is my life now. Talk about wonderful.

I set aside my cell with a smile. “I’m positive. Why?”

“Just happened to notice a couple of similarities.”

“Such as?”

He ambles over to the bed. All the better to stare down at me. “Well, there was him being into classic cars.”

“Classic cars are cool.”

“Right,” he agrees. “And of course there’s him being amazing at oral sex.”

“Not going to lie. That’s a little bit egotistical, but I am going to let you have it.”

“Thanks.”

“What else have you got?”

“He has blond hair and blue eyes.”

I blow out a breath. “The way the romance audience loves their golden gods.”

We’ve been living together in his A-frame cottage for six months now. He wanted me to move in sooner, but it seemed wise to give him his space and take it slow. To make sure there would be no second-guessing on such a big move forward. When he asked me how I felt about getting married next summer, however, we both knew it was time.He cocks his head and licks his lips. “He’s also…how shall I say this…exceptionally well endowed.”

“Is he now?”

“You did spend a whole chapter describing his dick. Got quite poetic about it in parts.”

“I did no such thing,” I say. “You liar. It was four or five pages at most. The intricate pulsing map of veins and velvet over steel of his skin needed to be shown due deference.”

“I thought the description of his balls was really great too. So heavy and globe-like. You were obviously taking inspiration from me.”

I snort. “So much inspiration from you. Wow. Yeah.”

“How about his throbbing member?”

“That’s really more of an historical romance wording. No way did I call it that.”

“Heat-seeking missile?”

I laugh. “Oh my God. Where did you even get that? It’s terrible.”

“You think?” He smiles and sets the book on the bedside table. Then he climbs onto the bed, stretching out beside me. He slips a hand under my waist and drags me over to him. Such a caveman. “How’s the group chat going?”

“Martha is still doing her best to drive Lulu wild.”

He grunts. “It’s the little things in life that make Grandma happy.”

“But I think I am slowly winning over your mother.”

“She showed you the secret family chowder recipe,” he says. “Not sure there is a higher level of acceptance where Mom is concerned.”

“You know, if the hero was based on you, it would be because he’s a beautiful person through and through. He’s brave, and true, and honest. He has the biggest heart I’ve ever known. He cares about the heroine, and his family and friends, and…just everything really. He puts himself out there and lives life to the fullest.”

“That would be why, huh?”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“Good to know,” he says in a quiet voice. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“We getting married next weekend?”

“That sounds delightful,” I say with a smile. “If you’re not busy.”

“Hmm. I’ll check my calendar.” He wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss to my forehead. Forehead kisses really are the best. Then he whispers into my hair, “Stay with me, Blue. Stay with me.”

“Forever and ever and ever, Connor.”